Women's standards in men aren't getting any higher (except for the physical one)

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-08-24T14:46:42+00:00

Women get to decide what at a “ great personality is “ as far as dating and sex, not us. Being a shoulder to cry on and a place to vent does not “ attract” women. Being nice and sweet to women doesn’t “ attract” them.

What attracts women is : looks ( your physical traits that draw them in/ good genes)

Money: ( only so far as money equals resources, which I can lead to security if the man wants to be secure with her, you don’t have to be rich)

Status ( status is about ego and image really, both men and women who are of any form of status, want people of equal or better status. College grads date college grads, doctors date doctors, upper class dates upper class. That sort of thing)

With that being said. Being a a shoulder to cry on, or being nice and sweet to women is what helps you develop relationships with women who are attracted to you. Only women who are mentally ill or jaded will be initially attracted to a man, and then turn heel once she finds out that he will also treat her well.

The issue here is that we as men don’t find our emotions useful as a form of expression, vulnerability is a net negative on outcomes in our lives, and common rhetoric is that sensitive men are unattractive and boring.

So men tend to not connect to the women in their life’s emotionally, because we don’t connect to anything emotionally besides our hobbies and our inner selves. And since there are men who are more attractive, they have more interactions with women regardless of their level of empathy or emotional vulnerability, and thus we have conversations about men being toxic, when the level of men who are toxic is stratified evenly amongst all levels of attractiveness.

Actually, I’m willing to bet more attractive men have more healthy relationships with their emotions on the account of women wanting to participate in his emotional expression since they like him.

cloroxfornialove · 2022-08-24T17:04:21+00:00

You haven't accounted for the connection between personality and attractiveness (halo effect). Since women underrate men's attractiveness, they probably underrate their personalities.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-08-24T15:33:54+00:00

It's because a lot of us determine success to be casual sex. There's no reason a man and woman can't be compatible physically and emotionally It's just that when that happens it often becomes a LTR, just physically might be the toxic guy she bangs and just emotionally will be a friend.

ruboyuri · 2022-08-24T15:03:03+00:00

We expect them to give us orgasms, load and unload the dishwasher, change a diaper, socialize with us, have interest in our thoughts and feelings, and talk to their children

That wasn’t expected before

Vigeto619 · 2022-08-24T16:48:29+00:00

“Womens standards arent getting any higher. Well, besides their standards.”

uwpxwpal · 2022-08-24T14:24:40+00:00

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886913012245

Esterwinde · 2022-08-24T18:02:26+00:00

Y’all need to stop making friends with women with the intention of fucking them, you’ll see yourself be happier and not saying shit like this.

I’m saying this as a straight guy in a dry spell. I could care less if my girl besties (who are attractive btw) are fucking a hot or rich dude because I don’t want to fuck them.

I’ve sat on drinking sessions comforting my friend who got pumped and dumped for the Nth time while she listen to me rant about how I got ghosted by another potential date and how I haven’t had meetups with a match/date since January; we all have different issues. I still treat her like a sister and look out for her with no sexual or romantic strings or feelings attached. I'm emotionally available for her because she was for me, and we keep this agreement as long as we’re single since I don't want to emotionaly cheat and vice versa. I have people I want to fuck, people I want to date, and people I want to be friends with to share my celebration and anguishes & allow me to be more emotionally vulnerable as a male (and share female perspective). It is what it is.

I have my standards and goals for a LTR, as long as my partner does not cheat or do anything behind my back (like what my ex did), I’m fine. I don’t jade myself unnecessarily by what my female friends do.

KirthWGersen · 2022-08-24T14:39:18+00:00

You realise you can be both?

You can be a guy who connects with a woman's emotions, and also fucks her brains out.

You can be friends, and also have sex with her.

You can form a lifelong bond, emotionally and sexually, and also be shagging other people.

Life is not made up of binary options. It is full of colour and infinite options.

Women don't find men with great personalities ugly. They find ugly men ugly, but are willing to be friends if they have great personalities. I really don't think it is that different the other way around.

toasterchild · 2022-08-24T15:15:11+00:00

It's not that you are "physically ugly" you just don't do anything to turn us on in a sexual way. If you don't cause the tingles you are likely to get labeled in our heads as a no go zone. It has zero to do with emotional availability and everything to do with being sexual people. There are plenty of emotionally available guys who can still flirt and take relationships with women to a more sexual level, it's not mutually exclusive.

Guys who are dark triad don't worry about being rejected and go for it when many of you don't so they get in relationships more. Doesn't mean women want them more at partners. Most of us would take an emotionally available guy who can still flirt over assholes any day.

wtknight · 2022-08-24T14:32:29+00:00

The question is why does this happen so frequently?

These men aren’t interesting enough to her. Women aren’t men. They don’t usually choose a man based upon looks alone, at least for relationships. I don’t think that it has much to do with physical ugliness.

Women’s standards haven’t changed even for looks. Men just aren’t putting the same work trying to attract women that they used to. Too many men just give up too easily these days and basically become shut-ins focusing on video games and online porn.

AutoModerator · 2022-08-24T14:18:24+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AidsVictim · 2022-08-24T17:42:43+00:00

Women's standards in men aren't getting any higher (except for the physical one)

Separate from your main post but this not really true either. Womens standards have at least changed if not gotten higher in a number of ways. Primarily you need to be high social status/exciting socially for a woman to be actively interested in you and not "Backup option #3". I think most men have accepted that the looks of their fathers and grandfathers would not have been enough today, but they also would not have been enough socially either.

sebwiers · 2022-08-24T21:25:13+00:00

Being emotionally MATURE is not the same as being emotionally AVAILABLE. A lot of "shoulder to cry on types" are not themselves mature and are open that way because they themselves need that. Which, for better or worse, is not attractive on a surface, decide who to date level.

And let's be fair here - how many guys date on the basis of "wow, she sure is emotionally supportive"! No. That's not what anybody means about a potential date when they say "great personality". For both sexes, in terms of dating that means flirty, good conversation, open to activities, etc.

Historical-System972 · 2022-08-25T02:33:55+00:00

This has always been true - morality has never been a highly sought after trait by women in their partners, no matter how vociferously they deny it.

romodoc1 · 2022-08-25T03:27:52+00:00

Let me guess. You’re the emotionally available “friend” who doesn’t fit the physical standards.

Puhleease! Get a mirror and a clue

ProfessorFelix0812 · 2022-08-24T17:37:26+00:00

Women fuck toxic hot dudes.

They also fuck emotionally available men.

Who they don’t fuck is emotionally stunted dudes stuck in perpetual adolescentland living in their mom’s basement who spend an inordinate amount of time playing Call of Duty and surfing stepmother porn.

Hope that clears things up.

YtBlue · 2022-08-24T14:50:52+00:00

Its changing due to hormonal assistance. It's why redpill always said birth control is partly to blame.

LimpetMinecrafter · 2022-08-24T15:29:28+00:00

Dude being emotionally available doesn't make you emotionally intelligent you have literally no idea wtf you're talking about.

Its like, you almost get it, your brain almost wraps itself around the concept, but you fall just short. You dont have a great personality. You just have a personality. Its that whole "you are a stunted manchild and you don't have a single fucking clue what it means to have like empathy and mindfulness, your brain is still operating on simple concepts like same hobbies and sense of humor and your understanding of emotional intimacy is caveman simple"

"We just laughed at the same thing why aren't you sucking my dick yet?"

By the way the "Women will still fuck bad boys" line is so goddamn old. Updating your language to toxic doesn't revitalize that tired line.

OP I am going to tell you the actual secret here. Why you experience this.

Your brain don't work so good. Your communication and understanding of concepts is impossibly simple so while you're the sweet nice dude who they can watch a movie with and laugh at it together, they don't want to fuck you because they want their children to have an IQ over 75. You don't bring enough to the table outside of that to compensate. Sorry.

gavtron96 · 2022-08-24T16:30:27+00:00

I think it's more that a lot of men are just worse in general but still expect women to fawn over them even if they are selfish assholes. Everybody wants to beveith someone they find attractive that never changed. A lot of anxiety men have about looks is mostly driven by new tech exposing them to unrealistic standards of beauty and looking for excuses as to why women reject them rather than take any personal responsibility.

sarkington · 2022-08-24T15:16:13+00:00

Receipts please, specifically for these unsubstantiated generalizations:

Functional men are considered ugly and do not get relationships

Dysfunctional men are considered attractive and get relationships

attendquoi · 2022-08-24T16:05:37+00:00

Have you considered that if the only reason you're friends with us is to get in our panties, you aren't even managing to be a good friend?

GGMcThroway · 2022-08-25T00:09:28+00:00

The real phenomena is that women are actually trying to be friends with men. Because it's not seen as a given that men only want one thing (pussy) anymore.

And God forbid men actually want to be FRIENDS with women, right?

No-Nothing9287 · 2022-08-24T18:52:00+00:00

Eh I’d challenge that theory as I find toxic men very arrogant and selfish in bed. I did seek out an emotionally available man and now he’s the best bf I could have asked for. He not even physically fit and in fact a bit on the chubby side but I mean…so am I lol. He’s not perfect but I still love em even though he’s far from the stereotypical Chad

Lisavela · 2022-08-25T12:58:28+00:00

Y'all do realise you can be friends with woman without trying to bang?

Onion1995 · 2022-08-26T00:59:24+00:00

Guys who complain about getting friend zoned land there for a very good reason. Those who claim to be nice guys, usually aren’t.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2022-08-30T18:04:32+00:00

I can't say I disagree.

Title	Women's standards in men aren't getting any higher (except for the physical one)
Author	Johnny_Autism
Upvotes	77
Comments	177
Date	August 24, 2022 2:18 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wwkrna/womens_standards_in_men_arent_getting_any_higher/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/womens-standards-in-men-arent-getting-any-higher.1208985 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208985

Comments