They're just people.

shushravens · 2020-02-04T23:28:55+00:00

This sub used to preach more of Mark Manson's stuff but it seems to be obsessed with PUA nowadays. It was about building yourself up and framing your mindset in much the same way you have described.

LifeThief · 2020-02-05T00:10:24+00:00

tldr: "just be yourself bro"

No, be your best self.

SirBlankFace · 2020-02-05T00:35:27+00:00

You say this, but people using these tips and tricks get far more sex than the person who is kind and treats everyone nicely. Simply being nice isn't gonna get you laid, you have to work for that goal otherwise you end up in the friendzone. Some people even need these "tips and tricks" to get laid at all for whatever reason. Not everyone was born to be tall, cute or handsome. In fact i would say if all you have to do is be nice and women throw themselves on you, you hit it the genetic lottery and shouldn't bash the less fortunate for their hustle.

surfinfan21 · 2020-02-05T00:16:54+00:00

This thread is fucking amazing. There are more bad posts then good. But I stick around for the few posts that really motivate me to get off my ass and meet beautiful women. I have no problem talking to almost anybody. But for some reason I get all tense when I’m about to strike up a conversation with someone I’m attracted too. For better or for worse this sub has helped remind me to get out there.

asiam_man · 2020-02-05T00:39:46+00:00

LOL, PUA is a skill, just like everything else, my friend. Whether it's friendships, relationships, or pickup, you get out of it what you put into it.

The problem with guys like you is that you're lazy. You don't want to do the hard work. That's why you end up with the girls you do.

Moreover, PUA at its highest level is all about fulfilling your maximum potential as a human. You have to develop self respect, work out, have a fulfilling career, and become at peace with yourself. The tips and techniques don't work unless you become a high value person.

Teamtoast · 2020-02-05T00:21:35+00:00

And yet another post with the sentiment of ‘don’t listen to any advice’.

Nice bro. Much helpful

I think you meant to post your ‘wisdom’ in r/dating_advice? All the just be yourself stuff goes in there.

This is seduction. Please learn the difference

BitsAndBobs304 · 2020-02-05T00:01:33+00:00

What a bunch of feelgood baloney

theytoldmeineedaname · 2020-02-05T02:26:47+00:00

You haven't spent enough time here and you don't understand what seduction is. 'Tips and tricks' is a puerile, reductive description of the practice.

In its highest form, seduction is a state of being that flows naturally without much conscious thought. But you don't get there without concerted effort and a lot of pain.

You're welcome to dispute whether it's worthwhile to learn it, but disputing the effectiveness of it is absolutely ridiculous. Especially so if you haven't found a viable alternative that is as effective (and I can assure you you haven't).

Xazax310 · 2020-02-05T11:26:53+00:00

This makes you a far more interesting and attractive person than the guy who has a list of tips and tricks obtained from an online forum.

That's 90% of reddit. This subforum is no different.

I come here for the lolz mostly, offer my advice based off my experiences, and once a bluemoon there's a decent link to article/book I found here.

ninja_possum · 2020-02-05T14:04:50+00:00

This is unironically the best ever post on this sub

lItsAutomaticl · 2020-02-05T03:20:59+00:00

Thanks for the advice no one asked for. If you actually read about seduction you'll see it's firstly about self improvement, not "tips and tricks". But thanks for coming on here and sending this stupid judgemental bullshit comment without knowing anything about this subreddit. "Let yourself grow and flourish", that's what this sub is about for most people. Try listening and understanding instead of telling people what to do.

Soundnipple · 2020-02-05T00:58:13+00:00

Too much work and investment and not enough return emotionally investing in someone. I find its not worth it to me anymore

jonas_namespace · 2020-02-05T04:20:13+00:00

Good point. And with that I unjoin.

VDKay · 2020-02-05T07:57:37+00:00

Yeah, I agree 100%.

However keep in mind that it is not the same for everyone. There are guys who are naturally social and charming and can communicate very effectively with people. They are also realists, have previous experience and roughly know what to expect. Yeah, these guys are pretty much set being themselves in the dating world.

But nowadays, due to various social trends, there are more and more people who are NOT brought up like that. They have no idea how to talk to girls, they get unreasonable crushes, they get destroyed by rejection, they only chase without presenting any challenge, etc. Or even guys who get out of very-long-term relationships into a brand new dating scene.

As autistic as it may sound, these people have to learn how to flirt. Telling them to just "be themselves" is not gonna cut it. E.g. Mark Mason (Models) is teaching how to be yourself, but there is this whole book telling you how to be your attractive self. Others teach that through structured and unstructured game, etc. I guess it is whatever works for you. The point in the long run isn't to learn techniques to just get laid (unless that's your end goal), but re-structure your self as an attractive and sex-worthy guy who, by being himself, is gonna have success with girls! And this is not gonna happen overnight or with one-liners (e.g. "be yourself", "just be confident bro", etc.). It needs constant exposure and work, preferably under some solid technical foundation

BurnablesOnMondays · 2020-02-05T08:49:17+00:00

I do that, and in turn forget to kino and forget to go into innuendo...and therefore get friendzoned every. Single. Time.

grrinchas · 2020-02-04T23:14:52+00:00

Are you lost?

TopVice · 2020-02-05T02:21:58+00:00

As someone who’s tryna pick up a girl that’s interested in a LTR, this is the best advice I’ve seen so far on this sub. I’m sure the other shit works if you’re just tryna fuck, but if you want to be with someone for a long time then mind tricks won’t do it. Being blunt and genuine work better in the long-run.

Bcurious2020 · 2020-02-05T01:04:33+00:00

100% agree woth this post When I start talking to a female I just talj to her luje if she was a friend or cousin < not in weird way. And get to know them and maybe it turns into a fwb maybe they introduce me to of theur friends or maybe the become great wingwomen. Either way if your just DTF or you want to have a LTR commincation and honesty are best bet some women are DTF and if thats what you want then cool, but dont complain say all women are the same. Ho find a LTR type of girl become her friend. Also friend zone is a myth your either friends or she is maniputilive or you dont express yoyr feelings andvor she is not into and guess what its not the end of the world.

CraftedPUA · 2020-02-05T00:24:48+00:00

i don't think you understand game and what it entails. if you did understand game, you wouldn't be making such silly statements

micahbevans88 · 2020-02-05T00:56:49+00:00

Right on, OP. I think it's too often overlooked among guys trying to date that even though men and women have different roles in the dating game, thinking about them as a person first and foremost makes all the difference. A little common sense and empathy goes far. Also, accepting that most women just aren't going to be compatible with you no matter how you present yourself, gameplaying or genuine.

eht_amgine_enihcam · 2020-02-05T11:03:46+00:00

I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt that you're not a concern troll.

Some men I know love computers. Pretty much all they talk about are computers. If you also love computers, they're the best. If these men are "themselves" around women, 99.9% of them aren't interested.

This is why you teach those men what "techniques" about how to talk to people. Stuff like conversation threading, storytelling, body language, etc etc. Most of this comes naturally for most people, so they never analyse it. If you missed it developmentally, it's very hard to develop it directed.

Most of socialization is a quiz where you pass if you know the formulas. The formula is: I have something you want, you have something I want, lets trade. In this case, seduction tells you what to do to have more to offer to a woman so she'll want to sleep with you.

The entire last line is a platitude and offers no constructive advice. "Just love yourself, others and respect them man". I find it kinda insulting that you think I don't. However, some of my interests are very unappealing to women and no matter how far I "grow and florish" with them applying some tips and tricks is going to get me laid significantly more.

Also, the techniques and tips are what we need more of. We've had a shit ton of feel good self improvement shit that doesn't actually help anyone lately.

bigredten · 2020-02-05T01:51:16+00:00

I agree. I think it's just a balance. Some people have zero social awareness or just bad habits from years of conditioning. So they should probably learn a few "rules" or "games" to strip away the negative conditioning, then they can balance out and be themselves.

bigbrycieboy · 2020-02-05T03:41:11+00:00

I agree with this a looot but I’d just like to learn some people skills and ways to fight anxiety and be more secure with myself

0urlasthope · 2020-02-05T04:36:31+00:00

I haven't read too much of the stuff here lately, but I do wanna give my 2c.

Inner game is very crucial and arguably a prerequisite to outer game / pua stuff.

In some ways it contradicts some outer game and I think for the most part you should let inner game make the decision for you (helps with congruency and authenticity)

That being said I do think outer game is worth discussing. I.e. getting the girl to gradually invest in you, etc.

self_improv_guy_024 · 2020-02-05T05:48:18+00:00

After reading this thread and a beginner where should I begin?

im-an-animal-333 · 2020-02-05T06:27:32+00:00

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Paltenburg · 2020-02-05T09:55:54+00:00

"Tips and tricks" or just: "advice" can certainly help, just make sure it fits your style.

Sveneven · 2020-02-05T10:08:10+00:00

You will fail, get used and get hurt. But its going to pass, and its the only way you can truly learn what it is you love. If you resist this fear of rejection and getting your feelings hurt you are only hurting yourself more over time.

gertamid · 2020-02-05T13:51:56+00:00

each of you gets it incorrect.

you treat and percieve woman as if she is someone like you.

no. she is she. not he.

Topgun157 · 2020-02-05T14:21:55+00:00

In my opinion, this isn't the best advice, case in point.

https://www.boredpanda.com/social-experiment-guy-created-fake-tinder-profile-hot-model-pictures-germanlifter/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

Compassion is nowhere to be found and yet look at the success rate.

NorthVilla · 2020-02-05T15:44:05+00:00

If you're not happy with yourself and your own life first, you won't be happy (and often not successful) in your dating life. This should always be the first step: making sure your life is fun and interesting, and then looking to include others in it.

PanZwu · 2020-02-05T16:15:04+00:00

wondering how mankind didnt die out without PUA

Gnostromo · 2020-02-05T16:42:35+00:00

you are in the wrong place. you are confusing meaningful relationships (different sub..not sure which) with seduction for a hookup

Dadoxiii · 2020-02-05T17:19:36+00:00

Just remember they're all just humans. Ya but...humans are terrifying!

G77R23D · 2020-02-05T17:26:14+00:00

Let's hear your results or kindly get lost.

ethical_pa · 2020-02-05T19:47:43+00:00

I disagree completely. Seduction is not one thing. It can be different things, depending on the people involved, what they are looking for, how they feel in the moment, and countless other factors.

Part of seduction involves learning HARD skills, that are sometimes related to sales. As an example, if you have a girl who is horny and wants to fuck, it's not as simple as saying "oh! here i am, let's do this". If you don't understand anything about ASD/LMR plausible deniability, how to lead properly, etc, etc. Then it's likely both parties are going home frustrated. This is not better or worse (if you are sex positive) than someone looking for a relationship.

Just because some of the posts don't fit into your world view of "just be yourself/be a great person" doesn't mean this sub has "lost it's way". Kinda getting sick of hearing that. Seduction is a SOCIAL fuckin thing. You can't just focus on yourself. You have to interact with other people and learn calibration, dealing with social pressure, social intelligence, empathy, antagonistic people. These aren't things that come magically by being the best person you can be or some shit. They come through PRACTICE. IE, socializing A LOT. Which in this context mostly means talking to a lot of attractive girls. Putting yourself outside your comfort zone and making mistakes. And when you do this, and feel like you are drowning, then yes little tips and tricks will help you navigate these situations a little more, so you can stay in these interactions a little bit longer, and learn more and more as you go along, to hopefully one day integrate it as part of your personality.

I'm sick of people calling out more technical game as being "non human/non genuine" etc etc. Look, there's always a balance of inner game and outer game. You need both. Not just for women, but in life (you think other men don't shit test you?). If anything, this sub is too focused on inner game, as outer game has become synonymous with PUA and been negatively portrayed in the mainstream.

But life is messy. People are imperfect. Not everyone is ready to hold hands share positive energy with their fellow human beings. You have to learn to deal with this if you want to be a man. All while maintaining your integrity and being true to your moral compass. This is more attractive to women than simply being a swell guy who's always super positive. You have to have some battle scars, and be ok with yourself and with the world, as it is. Not as you wish it were (that's feminine energy, not masculine). The game is not perfect, because humans are not perfect. It can be imperfect and ugly at times.

Simply_Bry · 2020-02-05T20:23:49+00:00

I used to think girls were goddesses who need to be put on a pedastal all the time

TiedHands · 2020-02-05T20:54:10+00:00

I never understand this idea of "explore your interests and passions", as I've been doing this my whole life and its never done me any favors. I have tons of hobbies and things I'm really, really passionate about and interested in and it has never one time opened up any kind of opportunity when it came to finding someone to be with.

kidmikey13 · 2020-02-05T22:16:20+00:00

Awesome post. Feel the same way but you said it better

eablokker · 2020-02-05T15:30:31+00:00

Me: enters bodybuilding subreddit

Dude, you don’t need to lift so many weights all the time or trade muscle building tips online. Just go for a jog once in a while and you’re good.

Garrret · 2020-02-05T01:53:00+00:00

I know get where you are coming from but this sounds like /r/thanksimcured

Sendmoneytofly · 2020-02-05T14:39:20+00:00

Dont think so. If it were that easy this sub wouldnt exist.

EtillyStephlock · 2020-02-05T18:11:07+00:00

Agreed. A lot of this sub are pick up artist robots and they wonder why they're not getting laid.

JamieMadrox2020 · 2020-02-11T22:54:50+00:00

This sounds a lot like “just be yourself”.

I think it’s somewhere in the middle ground. I too HATE thinking in terms of “sets” or “targets” or “HB8.4578”.

However a few playful lines to memorize for texting less logically, learning common shit tests, that type of thing is useful. I don’t see how it’s harmful.

You wouldn’t tell someone who doesn’t know how to swim “just jump into the water man! The body is designed to float, you’ll come up”. No, people both need to get over the fear of water AND learn the techniques of the various strokes.

Also people that are tall, extroverted , and above average looks generally take some of this stuff for granted, so their reality is indeed “just be yourself” is all you need.

non-troll_account · 2020-02-05T20:18:12+00:00

As a 36 year old foreveralone, this is what I do (or, did, before my life completely collapsed).

This is not good seduction advice.

ntipz011 · 2020-02-05T04:14:46+00:00

Just treat all humans with compassion, and love yourself man. Let yourself grow and flourish,

This advice is as gay as it sounds.

Point of this sub is to learn how to communicate better and show your attractive self better. You didn't get the point of the sub. OK thx bye.

auxdub · 2020-02-05T15:05:32+00:00

Truth is, relationships revolve around a set of skills. Just like work.

You don't get to be hired as a computer programmer, for example, because you have a great character, you are a good friend or you are an awesome basketball player.

So yes, some people really need to put themselves out there and learn to implement basic interactions and conversations in order to learn to be charismatic and have good social skills, it doesn't matter how truly good persons these guys are, they have to develop the skills otherwise they get nothing.

Despite women being human too, we have nowadays an extremely unbalanced sexual marketplace where minimally attractive women has plenty of guys available willing to date them, so, if you want to get some, you'll have to stand out somehow.

holyasshole2 · 2020-02-05T13:59:05+00:00

Seduction is the process of deliberately enticing a person, to engage in a relationship, to lead astray, as from duty, rectitude, or the like; to corrupt, to persuade or induce into engaging in sexual behaviour

Guess what's the sub's about

Title	They're just people.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	913
Comments	177
Date	February 4, 2020 11:10 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/eyz27k/theyre_just_people/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/theyre-just-people.1489945 https://theredarchive.com/post/1489945

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