You Must Vet 2x Harder Than Your Non Black Counterparts

It’s already proven that men view black women as bottom of the barrel; plenty of LVM will do the absolute bare minimum for you and expect you to fall to your knees. The expectation is that not only are you an easy lay, but that breadcrumbing is what will have you performing girlfriend duties until its time to “upgrade” to a non black woman.

DO NOT COMPROMISE YOUR STANDARDS FOR ANYONE.

You are a black woman. Your standards should always be both higher and stricter than your non black sisters because the stereotypes that plague us attracts hoards of low value losers.

Vet your potential love interest and cut them off ruthlessly. He’s not working or in college? ✌🏿Doesn’t meet your physical standards? ✌🏿Makes no/low effort into planning a date? ✌🏿

Do Not Fall For The ”I Love Black Women!” Trick

I understand the elation of hearing, “Oh I love black women! Black women are so beautiful.” after years of being constantly reminded that we are the “least attractive” race. Do not let that initial elation get to your head. Please look at the individual who is saying such things with an objective mind.

Alternatively, being referred to as “chocolate” or “queen” should been seen as a red flag for a potential LVM, especially if the man is not black. Every man that’s referred to me as such has turned out to have an extensive history of anti blackness.

Do Not Limit Yourself to Black Men

Look, we’ve already discussed that HVM can be black, white, asian, whatever! However, this particular brand stockholm syndrome that black women have in regards to black men is very community specific. So many of us feel guilt when we seek love outside of black men, and this needs to stop.

Black men have no issue throwing us to the wolves for non black women, and they are not looked down on for seeking love outside of the black community. It’s time that we as black women rethink what our future spouse/families should look like. As I said earlier, HVM come in all colors. Why restrict yourself to just one?

Demand More, Regardless Of How You’re Viewed

This is a tricky rule because I know that a lot of us resent being seen as “strong, independent black women”. This is a stereotype that’s been forced upon us since childhood, and is particularly tough to adapt to if you’re sensitive at heart.

Putting your foot down and setting the tone for how you should be treated is difficult as a black woman. There’s those who see it sexually (i.e. ”I love your attitude”), those who will think you have no ground to have standards because, “who wants black women anyway?”, and LVM who will be scared off.

Hold on to your standards religiously and demand them regardless of how you fear it may make you look. We all know a beautiful, Ph.D holding black woman who dotes on her McDonald’s assistant manager husband. Do not be her. You deserve your intellectual, emotional, and financial equal.

Rethink What Love Is

Love in the black community is synonymous with struggle. We’re taught from a young age that struggle love is normal. It’s normal for black women to be cheated on, physically/emotionally abused, or left for a non black woman. You should stand by your man no matter what, and after 15 years of absolute bullshit, you’ll finally get the wedding of your dreams! You might even become stepmom to the five children his mistresses birthed.

You deserve roses. You deserve to be shown off at parties. You deserve surprise date nights and back rubs after a long day at work. You deserve someone who knows your coffee order by heart. You deserve to be free of financial stress. Think of everything that society has told you black women aren’t worthy of, and remind yourself every night that not only are your worthy, but you will have what you desire tenfold.

I love you, black women. I love us. Let’s do better by ourselves and our romantic lives in 2020! ✊🏿👑