R/menslib feels like so weird

Tormenator1 · 2023-09-07T14:56:15+00:00

The other reason that there's less then one post a day is because the mods delete a lot of content, and the comments on posts are heavily policed as well. I remember responding to a relatively innocuous comment that implied that women had a role to play in some of the issues facing men, and the whole thread of comments was deleted within 2 hours.

Phantombiceps · 2023-09-07T18:12:08+00:00

Are you a victim of wage theft by your employer? Try to talk to your friends about what you can do to not provoke the employer next time.

If you feel frustrated by this theft, your feelings are valid - reach out to someone who can help you work through these feelings.

Try centering yourself by going for a jog.

Consider joining a volleyball team of other wage theft victims, where you can come together and feel empowered to be good victims of theft, and not a potential problem for other people.

What you don’t need to do is report the theft or try to claim your missing funds - it’s more about working on yourself.

Troll4everxdxd · 2023-09-07T14:59:16+00:00

If the subreddit overlap is anything to go by, the vast majority of users are either women or trans men.

https://subredditstats.com/subreddit-user-overlaps/menslib

AlternativeIcy1183 · 2023-09-07T14:43:22+00:00

Because its a feminist subreddit and full of cowards that always beat around the bush. They cannot say the truth without having to also be politically correct.

ArmchairDesease · 2023-09-07T15:02:07+00:00

Sometimes you look in the comments and 70% of them read "this comment has been removed by a moderator". It's ridiculous. You cannot really dig into these topics if you limit so much the scope of acceptable discussion.

Enticing_Venom · 2023-09-07T16:47:54+00:00

Remember when one of the power mods from there was so triggered that this sub was created he would come here and post racist and misogynistic things to troll and then say he was just trying to fit in with us? I do lol. Not a single person here said some of the vile stuff about women he did but somehow his antics were supposed to prove what an ally he is with feminism.

They are performative at best.

expert_whining_andy · 2023-09-07T15:23:51+00:00

This may be a weird thing to say, but I think mesnlib, as well as many other feminist male-oriented organisations exist to control the narrative on men's issues, turning any discussion away from one that could criticise feminism. In other words I think they're just thinly veiled psyops lol.

As you mentioned above, the subjects discussed revolve around what individual men can do to make things better, it's rarely about institutional changes such as laws, or increasing spending for men's issues eg. Healthcare, shelters etc..

Like seriously, that sub has barely even touched on the mass enslavement of men happening in Ukraine and Russia right now - a testament to how little they actually care about men's issues.

Some of the highest upvoted posts on that subreddit arent even about men's issues, they're instead about roe v wade, trans rights, or about how men should come together to help women feel safer. I don't think any of these are bad things, but Jesus Christ, it's a subreddit for 'men's' liberation! The top posts on feminist subs certainly aren't about men's issues.

If you look at the subreddit overlap for mensilb, you'd see that the two subreddits with the biggest overlap with it are r/trollxchromosomes and r/witchesvspatriarchy, with 25 and 17 percent overlap.

You can't even criticise feminism in that sub. After all the damage feminists have done to men who suffer domestic abuse, the idea that you can't call them out on their bullshit makes my blood boil.

r/menslib is a joke.

MelissaMiranti · 2023-09-07T15:06:48+00:00

Extreme censorship. It's the only way feminists can keep inconvenient truths out.

zaph239 · 2023-09-07T15:26:41+00:00

It has nothing to do with men's liberation, it is a feminist subreddit and modern feminism is fundamentally prejudiced against men.

You can't be liberated by bigots.

Maffioze · 2023-09-07T17:14:38+00:00

Its controlled opposition for feminists.

matrixislife · 2023-09-07T17:46:58+00:00

When so many men have realised that they are not getting any help or support from feminism, yet don't want to accept that it's bullshit. There's no point posting anything because the responses don't mean anything useful.

Randy_Vigoda · 2023-09-07T20:14:43+00:00

Glad i'm not the only one to notice that. A sub that gaslights young men into hating everything normal about them.

CarHungry · 2023-09-07T19:58:07+00:00

It kind of reminds of that fake town in north korea. Like fake grocery stores and fake people. No idea what purpose it's supposed to serve though.

I guess it's just what overmoderation looks like like some people are saying, and the "main" mra sub is like the complete opposite with almost no moderation lol. They are both virtually incoherent at this point.

ajpp02 · 2023-09-07T17:15:30+00:00

Was in the same position you were, OP. Everyone’s saying it precisely here. If you wanted an example of MensLib being not what it purports to be, read here: https://open.substack.com/pub/alexandermoreaudelyon/p/why-victims-of-female-perpetrators-123?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

Enzi42 · 2023-09-07T16:46:53+00:00

So I don't know what's going on with them right now (this thing with the unusually low number of posts) but menslib has never not been weird.

I used to frequent that sub many, many years ago and I still do occasionally although I try to stay away because it's just rage bait for me at this point.

The problem with menslib is that they are a toxic sub that tries to present itself as a men's issues group. I don't actually doubt their sincerity, as I've seen some do by calling them "controlled opposition", but that doesn't take away from how bad they are.

To put this in perspective, there are two cursed fates that seem to befall subs dedicated to men's issues and concerns (well, actually three but one of them isn't relevant here).

The first is that they become a hotbed of actual misogyny and degenerate into echo chambers of how horrible women are and how they're bringing the world down around humanity's heads.

Optics wise it's a terrible thing because it feeds the impression that any concern for men's problems is actually hatred for women, and the space itself is distorted and useless as a place where men want to come and actually talk to each other.

The second ill-fated outcome is the exact opposite. The men who fill these spaces are riddled with "guilt" over their very existence as men. Maybe they've actually done bad/sexist things to women (although in my experience a lot of the "bad things" they've done is have semi sexist thoughts). Or maybe a lifetime of anti male rhetoric has hammered the concept of belonging to an evil species of oppressors into their very bones.

Either way, spaces filled with these pitiful specimens become depressing pits of self loathing. Often the men there share anti male articles and commiserate on how true they are and just how fallen and awful men are. Other times they express a modicum of self awareness and talk about how unhappy the situation makes them feel,only to be shouted down by the others. Penitence over their "sins" and an endless apology towards women is the core of their existence.

Ironically they have more intellectual and civil discussions about men's issues, but they twist them in a way that frames it as men "fixing themselves so they don't hurt women".

Other types of men flock to these places too. The progressives who are traditionalists at heart and thus want to "save women from evil men", the men who are bitter towards other men due to a lifetime of teasing and bullying, and the actual male feminist who truly believes this is the best path forwards for men.

Certain women also come to those subs, namely the types who enjoy seeing men self deprecate and bash other men, but that's a whole other thing.

Anyway, menslib is the absolute worst offender when it comes to the second type of men's sub I described, and that is why it repels so many people. It isn'ta feminist conspiracy; it's an unhealthy fungal clump of deeply self loathing men who genuinely need help, but have made their lack of self esteem and gender solidarity into an idealogy of its own.

DarkManX437 · 2023-09-07T23:00:53+00:00

The mods are extraordinarily strict and outright rude, reckless, and aggressive at times. There are certain concepts and ideas like the Patriarchy that are taken as fact on that subreddit and are not up for debate, and any real dissent gets you thrown right tf out by security. When you limit conversations so heavily and put strict ideological parameters around exactly how you can have the limited number that are acceptable, it's pretty hard to have good, consistent conversations.

CoffeeBoom · 2023-09-07T15:40:22+00:00

I came here after getting banned from menslib actually (it's against the rules to talk about paper abortion there.)

I remember there being very interesting comments on menslib now and then, the posts themselves aren't too interesting though, it's the "how can men be better" kind of content, but I haven't looked through it in a while so I don't know of engagement went down or something.

2023-09-08T02:26:09+00:00

controlled opposition. Pretend to be pro men while being a closeted misandrist.

Troll4everxdxd · 2023-09-07T15:15:21+00:00

I think that place used to be more productive and active in discussing men's problems, I remember seeing and engaging in rather interesting discussions in the sub a few years ago. Yes, it was a feminist friendly space, but that didn't seem like an impediment. At least not then. I even discovered a very good YouTube channel which usually discusses men called Aba N Preach through that sub.

But now I feel like the sub is drowned in radical feminist narrative. It went from feminist friendly to just feminist. I dunno tho, maybe I'm wrong since I haven't visited it as much as in the past.

Edit: A few months ago I tried posting a constructive criticism of feminism both here and in the menslib sub, and in the latter the post got immediately locked. It's really sad that the discourse is becoming more restricted in there.

Phantombiceps · 2023-09-07T18:22:49+00:00

If you all like r/menslib you may also like

r/POCcausedthekkk_butdeserve_spacetoheal

my two favorite victim blaming subs

(Sarcasm obviously)

BrokeMacMountain · 2023-09-07T22:43:46+00:00

they don't actually know what mens issues are

thats because its run by feminists.

BKEnjoyerV2 · 2023-09-07T16:49:06+00:00

That sub is basically just shitlibs and radlibs, like people who want to care about men’s issues while retaining the woke radlib cred. Plus most users tend to support all forms of contemporary feminism, you know everything past the second wave

CatacombsRave · 2023-09-07T16:47:17+00:00

Men’s lib is mainly comprised of male apologists. I tend to steer clear.

Nihi1986 · 2023-09-07T22:10:25+00:00

If their solutions are 'cope with walks', ''cope with sports' and 'text a friend' I'm not surprised there isn't much activity... Not necessarily wrong advice but that adds nothing and isn't very thought provoking.

rohan62442 · 2023-09-08T09:38:57+00:00

r/MensLib is controlled opposition for feminists.

Check the subreddit user overlap tool for this. Most users on that sub are on the worst feminist subs as well.

Marzuk_24601 · 2023-09-07T23:17:33+00:00

it's like they have been lobotomised or something

Trying so hard to be the "good guys", the overton window is tiny over there.

IngoTheGreat · 2023-09-07T20:33:09+00:00

Astroturfing.

JJnanajuana · 2023-09-07T23:47:15+00:00

I tried to post my last article over there, (this one) about a month ago, but it's still waiting for moderator approval.

I think that theres a lot of people 'on our side' over at that sub, it's a place that mainstream reddit sends people who want to help men (often women who genuinly want to help, but also men who don't like the main mens rights sub (or what its made out to be)).

And while there's lots of radical feminists there, I also think there are people who use that word to mean 'actual gender equality' there too.

The comments on the AMA by Chuck Derry reveal that the people there are not onboard with viewing domestic violence through a feminist lense, (although I'm willing to bet there are a lot of people there who don't know how thick that lense is. (I'm still learning more and more about it and being horrified while i do. ))

But my post, basicaly a sumary of a feminist article, - I barely even critiqued it, their words were enough, i stayed factual and made sure I wasnt 'overly' critical, - but no, they cant have a close up view of the feminist narative of domestic violence and how its crafted.

That might make feminism look bad and they can't have that.

Maybe they need more people like Chuck Derry to post, pro-feminist people who can expose themselves...

2023-09-08T05:00:47+00:00

Yeah that was my go-to for a while. Then I suggested that many branches of feminism contribute to villainizing men as much as old gender roles, and was given a stern message from a mod. Haven't been there in a while, but it was going downhill after that point.

It's very restrained over there. Lobotomized is an apt description. Or a cell with padded walls.

RudeSignificance114 · 2023-09-07T15:18:04+00:00

Men are censored on what they can and can not say a lot on there a woman can never be the problem they blame it on the made up patriarchy

Worgensgowoof · 2023-09-08T16:17:46+00:00

Menslib isn't actually a mens rights sub, it's a feminist sub that masquerades as one by telling men what they need to do for women always. the demographic of that sub is a stark majority women. (I forget where but someone had a poll for it and there were very very few men on there)

they delete almost every post immediately if you do not absolutely make sure you also state the problem is 100% because of a man and if you don't make sure and if a woman is mentioned, they claim it's misogynist and blaming women and remove+ban.

Technical-Ad-2246 · 2023-09-08T02:05:58+00:00

Watch Bill Burr's video on male feminists. I don't think he's wrong.

I mean, I'm a feminist in the sense that I believe that men and women should be treated equally, generally speaking (although I do believe that men and women have biological differences). But I don't virtue signal about it.

Stock-Feedback-7075 · 2023-09-07T17:57:55+00:00

I'm still unsure what's going on with the sub.

Is it the moderation (they delete so much)

Are they all depressed and hate themselves ?

Do they really believe everything they say ?

Are they just deep into the theory and therefore don't think about the realities. Idk probably a mixture off all the above.

wes_bestern · 2023-09-07T21:59:24+00:00

Imagine responding to a feminist complaining about FGM with "have you tried meditating?" Lol

PandaOrDie69 · 2023-09-07T14:33:58+00:00

They claim that sub is advocating for men's rights/issues through a "feminist" lense.

But that's the problem with it.

Why can't we just advocate for men's issues just purely for the sake of men?

dawszein14 · 2023-09-07T18:31:41+00:00

if playing sports helps men's mental health, why shouldn't they recommend something like that? happiness is good

dawszein14 · 2023-09-07T18:31:46+00:00

if playing sports helps men's mental health, why shouldn't they recommend something like that? happiness is good

National-Ostrich-608 · 2023-09-09T04:31:06+00:00

If all we're told about masculinity is how toxic and harmful it is we're either going to grow up rejecting it out of shame, or rebel against the indoctrination and find a role model that doesn't constantly pathologise masculinity. We knew Tate was going to arise, we just didn't yet have a name for him.

RhinoNomad · 2023-09-09T18:20:42+00:00

It is a highly curated subreddit that is explicitly looking to toe the line with internet feminism.

It's kinda a lite, feminist friendly space made for people to look at a sanitized version of men's issues. I wouldn't call them a bad subreddit, honestly, but they exist for a specific reason, and it's not to meaningfully and deeply discuss men's issues.

It's a lot like CNN/Fox/MSNBC etc, they talk about the news, they tell the truth, but it's more interested in placating shareholders and making money than giving any honest perspective.

Skirt_Douglas · 2023-09-11T17:46:23+00:00

Menslib is a leash to keep you away from actual men’s issues resources.

You just gave me a great idea for a t-shirt. A guy with a lobotomy scare on his forehead and a t-shirt that reads “This is what a feminist looks like.”

mewacketergi2 · 2023-09-12T16:51:15+00:00

Hey OP, u/ubijbucy. This is a common question.

Are you familiar with hypoallergenic cat or dog breeds? The 'slib is like that, but for gender discourse.

If you follow my metaphor, it is like an odd-looking cat selectively bred to minimize the owner's allergic reaction to its dander. The 'slib may not be the healthiest, prettiest, or friendliest critter around, but at least the liberal feminist establishment isn't going to throw it out on the street because it makes them itch.

They mean well, but the signal-to-noise ratio is really bad. Realistically, the only good they can do is to normalize the idea of men's issues in mainstream feminist discourse.

Therval · 2023-09-20T20:29:19+00:00

It's because they ban anyone that even slightly disagrees with their narrow view. I was just banned for this comment. First 'offense'. Entire swaths of comments are just [removed by moderator]. I discovered this subreddit while trying to find a replacement. Time will tell if this is a fit.

queenAlexislexis · 2023-12-29T00:27:00+00:00

Interesting

Title	R/menslib feels like so weird
Author	ubijbucy
Upvotes	315
Comments	159
Date	September 7, 2023 1:19 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/16cfnx2/rmenslib_feels_like_so_weird/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/rmenslib-feels-like-so-weird.1231119 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231119

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