I can't tell y'all how many times, in the nearly three decades I was a teacher, that I got asked (online only) if I ever slept with a student, and it wasn't phrased that mildly. Occasionally I'd be asked if I ever flirted with the dads, or had dads flirt with me. I swear, scrotes' ability to turn ANY situation sexual is just mind-boggling and disgusting. In real life, I got respect enough, but just knowing that *might* be in men's minds... ew.

I've found that men's responses to a woman's work life are very telling.

If overly complimentary, then they have no clue what you do. If they layer compliments with stereotypes, they are not rooted in reality and they are just parroting what they've seen in TV and movies. (And trust me when I say, no one outside of education knows anything about what teachers go through. It's why I ONLY ever talked work with other teachers.) It's a form of love-bombing and trying way too hard to empathize, while misisng the mark entirely.

I've also just found, having gone through my first retirement, and transitioning to completely new work (a food bank: outdoors, very physical work. I'm exhausted every day and I LOVE IT) that when I tell men now what I do, they also react weird. I've deliberately said, as a way to vet, yeah, I love having a LOT less responsibility. This job makes me so happy: no taking anything home, no extra responsibility, no exhaustion from being around people too much. Any male who doesn't understand my delight at my newfound no-stress job is a loser. They're the type who are looking for an intelligent pack mule who will take on them plus any kids as a PROJECT, and do tons of unpaid labor and have no needs or wants.

In my view, a HVM would also be delighted that I've made a complete transition into completely new work, with new challenges, new skills. They'd understand the want and need for not taking anything home, for not wanting to go that extra mile anymore, having been there, done that already for decades. They'd understand that hard physical labor is its own reward, and that I've had ENOUGH of constantly listening, constantly talking, constantly people-ing.

Anyone else have thoughts about how men have responded to your job and/or career?