Do you have less respect for women you meet on dating sites compared to women you meet in person?

BittererWegwerf · 2022-02-11T20:51:00+00:00

Does whether you meet a woman on a dating app or in person affect how seriously you take her?

Depends on how serious she is.

All things being equal, do you hold women you meet IRL in higher esteem?

Not really no. Depends on what kind of person she is.

Even after getting to know a woman you met online, are you more likely to consider a woman you met in person for a serious relationship/marriage?

If i meet someone at a concert or meet them online doesn't matter that much in the grand scheme of things. What counts is actually getting to know them. Compatability is the key.

Last but not least, do you think there tends to be "something wrong" with women who are on online dating whereas women who are not on online dating tend not to have these flaws?

Why? Is there something wrong with me if i use dating apps? There are plenty of valid reasons why someone would consider dating apps. Too busy to go out regularly, your social circle has no single guys etc.

It all comes down to compatability in the end.

wtknight · 2022-02-11T20:53:17+00:00

No. the women whom I met online are real people too. I’m not sure why I’d respect them less. I probably wouldn’t be using an app with a reputation for hooking up like Tinder if I had to use a dating site to meet women online, though.

Smitten_Squire · 2022-02-11T23:04:12+00:00

Online dating is probably like 50% of relationships. Once you meet the girl irl, its real

Playful_Art_5364 · 2022-02-11T20:42:51+00:00

I assume everyone has one. So no

baresquad · 2022-02-11T21:10:12+00:00

No, none of that stuff matters. Like at all

I’d marry the woman I fucked on the first day of meeting from Tinder the same way I’d marry the woman who I didn’t fuck on the first date but met in real life, and so on.

Life is way too arbitrary and dynamic to follow a bunch of make-believe methods and rules

Bandit174 · 2022-02-11T23:45:39+00:00

I'd feel like she was more attracted to me if she chose my off a dating app.

whoopswizard · 2022-02-11T21:55:49+00:00

This would be a very foolish distinction to draw right now considering the pandemic which has prevented a huge amount of in person meetings over the past two years, and in my opinion a bizarre one even in normal circumstances

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-02-11T20:37:27+00:00

No , why would I? Lol

2022-02-11T21:23:54+00:00

dont mind either just pref irl women

RanchMe · 2022-02-11T22:00:02+00:00

It totally depends on the interaction. Im dating a girl I met on Tinder and it has been the most healthy and confident relationship I’ve ever been in. However, most of the girls I interacted with on dating sites like Tinder or Bumble would usually give the same short and apathetic type of responses. And meeting those girls whether we hooked up, i struck out, or I wasn’t down, still all felt the same casual lack of trust and ultimately respect. Those interactions were more like business negotiations in which me and client traded surpluses. A good conversation can go a long way.

LotBuilder · 2022-02-11T22:57:19+00:00

Yes, it probably doesn’t make any sense and has a complete double standard but if I see a girl on bumble or tinder or hinge it makes her seem way more attainable

SupermarketFun21 · 2022-02-11T20:55:04+00:00

No, there’s absolutely no reason to, and no, I don’t assume something must be wrong with her. OLD is a way to increase your probability of finding someone who’s a great match. There’s nothing sketchy or shameful about partaking in it.

effeteintellectual · 2022-02-11T20:56:26+00:00

Not at all

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Potential_Respond224 · 2022-02-11T20:39:17+00:00

SwinginPastMyKnees_ · 2022-02-11T21:22:16+00:00

I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I've met many great women on OLD, some of whom were just too shy to meet people in person. That being said, OLD does tend to have people that don't have much going for them.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2022-02-11T21:25:36+00:00

Does whether you meet a woman on a dating app or in person affect how seriously you take her?

If I were actively dating today, sure it would.

All things being equal, do you hold women you meet IRL in higher esteem?

Probably initially unless its a bar/club setting. Not really my scene though.

Even after getting to know a woman you met online, are you more likely to consider a woman you met in person for a serious relationship/marriage?

It might depend on the app. I'm not going to use Tinder standards for a Christian Mingle match. But generally, if the app is marketed for hookups, or has a reputation for hookups, I'm going to judge the relationship as a casual one.

Would you ever consider marrying a woman you met on a dating app/site, and if so, does the dating site affect the likelihood of this outcome (i.e. are you less likely to consider a woman you met on Tinder for marriage than you are to consider a woman you met on Hinge or Match)?

Well I don't know much about Hinge or Match, but I would do my research into the apps beforehand if I were even in this scenario. But yes, the app makes a difference just like it makes a difference if I meet a girl at church vs. a club.

Last but not least, do you think there tends to be "something wrong" with women who are on online dating whereas women who are not on online dating tend not to have these flaws?

I suppose I have to say at least partially yes. The whole reason I wouldn't seriously date a Tinder match is that I think there's something wrong with her from a relationship standpoint.

Kentucky_Supreme · 2022-02-11T21:25:57+00:00

Not purely because they're on a dating app but they might have questionable things in their profile that would influence my impression of them before I've met them.

Slootando · 2022-02-11T21:31:31+00:00

Yes, although “respect” wouldn’t be the word I would use. All else equal, a girl from OLD has a greater probability of being a veteran carousel rider than a girl from say, my workplace or social circle.

BecretAlbatross · 2022-02-11T23:01:33+00:00

Honestly yeah. A lot of women on online dating sites end up being experiments. Women don't tend to respond regardless unless they REALLY like you, and guessing "What kind of opener she wants to hear" is kind of hard.

I've had the "hey mah them titties do be lookin big tho come over tonight" line work, and I've had the "You like Ocarina of Time AND the killers?? Green flag" fail.

Online dating for men is shooting fish at the shoreline in the dark. You have no idea why something worked or didn't unless you meet the girl, so you can't just approach them like you would in real life where things like your appearance help.

Gimmicks help you stand out, but it's inherently less respectful even if the gimmick isn't sexual because IRL I'd never throw some weird risky opener at a girl.

Apprehensive_Boat_70 · 2022-02-11T23:47:20+00:00

Depends on the dating app, any woman with good intentions and two functional braincels with enough social intelligence doesnt use tinder, and if she does then she doesnt use it for long, is not that the women who use tinder are wrong in the head or something, is just that women who are wrong had to resort to tinder much of the times, you can see who they are a mile away when you look at their profiles

fifththrowaway · 2022-02-12T00:19:52+00:00

This attitude died off with 56k modems. Online dating is pretty mainstream now.

Caveat: the type of profile someone makes on OLD will determine how seriously I take them. But that's common to most social media.

Lost-Coconut-1050 · 2022-02-11T20:53:17+00:00

No, I have zero respect for anyone by default, man or woman.

SwaySh0t · 2022-02-11T20:44:15+00:00

Depends on the context but generally no, men are less discriminatory then women when it comes to this stuff.

Is she in the friend circle or part of your professional network? Then yes, men have to show more respect and move carefully in this scenario because the risk is greater if things go sideways.

theulysses · 2022-02-11T22:19:19+00:00

No. I married my wife whom I met online (OKCupid). I’m glad I did, too, because it gave us a percent match that proved to be pretty accurate. We’re both moderate liberals and this weeded out the extremists. I live in the PNW and there are way too many whackos.

grandmapurp · 2022-02-11T21:08:38+00:00

AWALT. You can meet her in person but that doesn't mean that she's never used a dating app. You can meet a woman who has never used a dating app but that doesn't mean that she's not still a slut.

ffandyy · 2022-02-11T22:19:07+00:00

No not at all

NotGoingoutofMW · 2022-02-11T22:19:37+00:00

No absolutely not. I respect women who are putting in actual effort into dating me at least half as me but i don't need to say thats only very very few individuals. Meeting online or IRL doesn't have any effect i'm always focusing on the person. OLD or IRL are merely means to reach the dating segment.

Yukbghhjj · 2022-02-11T20:47:53+00:00

I have less respect for women who give it up easier tbh. Like you really let my short bald self smash those cheeks and dip afterwards that easily? I wanna have to work for it a bit to make it feel like I’m not getting some cheap whore for a gf.

Watch_the_backflip · 2022-02-11T21:02:05+00:00

Yep.

It takes minimal effort to meet men as a woman. You literally have to just exist in a public place and men will make approaches.

If a woman has to resort to OLD, it means that she's not getting results in her local market and has to make herself available to a wider pool of men.

Quatrave · 2022-02-11T21:21:31+00:00

Rather die single than ever feeding the dating app industry. I lose some respect even for male friends who use dating apps.

midwesternMD · 2022-02-11T22:04:13+00:00

Nope. I pretty much never meet women in person. The nurses I work with are mostly older. The ones who are younger/single are still nurses I work with. So not an option for me. My friends/hobbies end up being with a bunch of men or solo activities. So my entire dating life revolves around online dating sites. I don’t have any more or less respect for who I meet via OLD than who I might meet doing shit that I don’t do.

angrydad808 · 2022-02-11T23:32:41+00:00

I used to be neutral. But the neutrality was due to my lack of experience. Then I met a real life narcissist on Reddit (of all places). Being smeared by her at the moment, I have lost all respect for her. I can't say that I apply that thinking to all women in general. But I can say have 0 respect for 100% for the women I've met online thus far.

parahacker · 2022-02-12T01:18:39+00:00

lol

no, no, no, used to, no, and no.

What I do think is that women using dating apps lose perspective. But that loss tends to lead them into being hyper selective. If we've gotten to the point where any of your questions would be relevant, then she's already proven better than that.

JacobMugatu666 · 2022-02-11T21:00:14+00:00

I have never app dated but if I did, yes absolutely i would have less respect for them. Are they such losers that they can't go out to a bar and get laid?

RandomRedditGuy322 · 2022-02-12T01:25:53+00:00

No. The women are always past sluts regardless so it doesn't matter where you meet them originally.

You need to presume they were a slut, and extract sufficient value to justify the relationship given that shortcoming.

cautionTomorrow555 · 2022-02-11T21:37:36+00:00

The only difference is I am less likely to trust the online woman early on and be more suspicious. The respect is the same though.

Last but not least, do you think there tends to be "something wrong" with women who are on online dating whereas women who are not on online dating tend not to have these flaws?

Usually women that are online dating are online dating for a reason because dating is normally so easy for women that they don't have to resort to online dating. This means the ones online are single because they have issues or are so picky that they need to expand their net out further.

Impressive_Tutor_390 · 2022-02-11T21:39:57+00:00

I guess so until I meet them in real life. I think of all women on online dating as fake until I meet them

jpalms426 · 2022-02-11T21:44:57+00:00

No, every woman gets the same baseline level of respect (but terms and conditions vary depending on the nature of the conversation leading up to the date).

I think the reason women may feel disrespected by the men they meet on OLD is two-fold:

The inherent selection bias of online dating. Narcissists, avoidants, and pervs will constantly be recycled back into the pool, whereas serious participants will find what they're looking for in a relatively short period of time and leave.
Your reputation is at stake when dating mutuals or within your friend group. People will moderate themselves a lot more to avoid risking being seen as an asshole or perv.

evaneli13 · 2022-02-11T22:16:16+00:00

Not at all

PirateDocBrown · 2022-02-11T22:17:03+00:00

Not at all. OLD is for meeting IRL. Once that happens, there's zero difference.

GuitarsBack · 2022-02-11T22:17:54+00:00

Last but not least, do you think there tends to be "something wrong" with women who are on online dating

Not at all.

Even if you are socially active it's not guaranteed that you regularly come across attractive single people of the opposite sex.

That's why expanding your options by looking online for single people makes sense to me.

So, no, I wouldn't respect her even less than women I meet in real- life.

AreJewOkay · 2022-02-11T23:55:20+00:00

I respect them but to your question about marriage or LTR I think where you meet them makes a huge difference. I tend to just date casually with OLD.

First off it’s highly likely that they are mutidating, or seeing multiple people at the same time. This is a turn off for most people getting into a LTR. Second you really have no idea who the person is. I have met some seriously insane women a few times. My only LTR that came from online dating I later found out she was racist (I’m black), previously divorced, and a huge liar. I prefer to find a LTR in my social circle as you can become friends first and see how they behave in public.

ENTJ_Explorer · 2022-02-12T00:03:07+00:00

Yes, I'm completely unwilling to date women who use online dating. It shows they are unwilling to do real socializing and have to rely on a crutch instead. That's why I refuse to use online dating, I want to actually meet people and form relationships properly

Sad_Top1743 · 2022-02-12T00:05:36+00:00

I’d be a bit more weary that she’s one of those multiple ppl daters but there are risks meeting in person as well.

Most women use OLD at some point

Fluffy-Height-3460 · 2022-02-12T00:06:49+00:00

Depends how and where online I met them, I don't know if I can take a chick from POF or tinder serious vs naturally meeting on a social site

iwasneverherehaha · 2022-02-12T00:23:01+00:00

No, I'd treat them exactly the same for a respect level.

I do find the whole thing alittle odd though

LouisdeRouvroy · 2022-02-12T02:58:20+00:00

It makes no sense. If you meet online you do exactly what she does. Why would you think it's okay for you to do something but not for others?

If there's a lack of respect to women met online, it is not due to the fact she uses an online tool, but more likely how she uses it.

razormachine · 2022-02-12T05:43:57+00:00

I do not respect them any less, it's just that I prefer to organically meet women.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2022-02-12T09:15:46+00:00

I don't meet women from dating sites and probably never will.

That tells you where I stand.

daddysgotanew · 2022-02-12T12:38:01+00:00

I just assume that they’re broken in some way. A 25-30 year old decent looking woman that is still single is a red flag. There’s a fatal flaw in there somewhere. It’s just a matter of time until I figure out what it is

social_mule · 2022-02-12T13:20:50+00:00

No. In the early days of OLD it seemed a bit odd. The mentality was that people who resorted to OLD were losers because they couldn't meet a mate the natural way but I think that stigma has faded. To be honest I think it's women who have more hang ups about OLD than men do which is why many of them put disclaimers in their OLD profiles such as I'm new to this or my friends convinced me to make this profile.

Cut the bullshit. No, you're not new to this and no your friends did not convince you to make this profile. You did it because you're tired of the men you meet in real life and want to see if there are more/better options online. Just own it.

Drive-By-Cuckers · 2022-02-13T01:14:50+00:00

No I’m on a dating app too so I’m not one to judge, women on dating apps tend to be more into the things I’m into and we’ve already shown interest by swiping on each other so I I like the way dating apps streamline the process.

That being said I do also use tinder like a phone game sometimes and just mindlessly swipe while half paying attention during breaks in class and sometimes I get high and just tell my matches jokes or send them memes

FFTzzz · 2022-02-12T07:08:41+00:00

No, because unlike most women I don't base my assessment on arbitrary bullshit rules. I just think they are all trash and hope they prove me wrong.¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Title	Do you have less respect for women you meet on dating sites compared to women you meet in person?
Author	Weary_Signature3745
Upvotes	33
Comments	109
Date	February 11, 2022 8:03 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sq8818/do_you_have_less_respect_for_women_you_meet_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-have-less-respect-for-women-you-meet-on.1101189 https://theredarchive.com/post/1101189

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