"wait to have sex" labeled as "bad dating advice"...and all of the people in the comments applauding...

masterofthebarkarts · 2022-02-09T19:24:11+00:00

EVEN IF the timing of sex doesn't change a relationship's ultimate course (and honestly that seems unlikely) waiting for sex is a good idea for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with sex.

EVEN IF you feel comfortable having sex with someone on the first date, you probably shouldn't because they are LITERALLY A STRANGER. How you feel about sex is irrelevant - how do you feel about putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation for no reason?

Dumb.

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2022-02-09T19:35:28+00:00

Most men have "sex-negative cultural values", regardless of what they say to get you in bed. They wouldn't get so turned on by "dirty talk", by humiliation, by degradation, if they were really positive about sex. There's a reason they get turned on by the thought of prostitutes, strippers, and porn stars, but not just a happy, healthy woman going about her life joyfully.

aquietsword · 2022-02-09T20:04:12+00:00

The most comfortable and safe thing sure feels like not jumping into bed with a virtual stranger. It's starting to piss me off how the libfem crowd insist on acting as if we live in some sort of utopia where misogyny doesn't exist. Like some twisted version of "dress for the job you want" except in their case it's just putting women in danger. Behaving like men actually respect women and female sexuality won't make it so you dummies.

Hhjjuuy · 2022-02-09T20:11:13+00:00

We don't wait for sex because we think it is a magic spell that makes a relationship good. We wait for sex to protect ourselves - mentally, emotionally and physically - from people we have not had a chance to vet.

Are we aware that people we vet for 3/6/12+ months can still hurt us in all of these ways? Of course. But if I could remove just one rape or coercive or uncomfortable sexual encounter from my past it would be an incredibly positive thing for me. So I'll do what I can can remove them from my future

SeaNegotiation8 · 2022-02-09T21:29:18+00:00

That was written by a man.

ivesynthed · 2022-02-09T18:56:06+00:00

Lies. I absolutely have had relationships get ruined by having sex too soon.

Also, their statement about waiting until you feel comfortable and safe feels contradictory.

Wanting to have sex immediately: good 👍 Wanting to wait to have sex: YOU ARE SEX NEGATIVE 🤬😡😤

That doesn’t feel like you are respecting our choices?

snowwhite224 · 2022-02-09T20:44:01+00:00

So we’re just gonna ignore the biological facts…. The science behind sex… the hormones that get exchanged and how serious that is. Not to mention risk of STDs, pregnancy, and having to be on birth control.

Yeah I’m not buying that BS

lansburysoda · 2022-02-09T19:30:10+00:00

I know this is going to blow some minds, but it’s both possible to

Enjoy sex
Be choosy about who we have sex with because women bear 99% of the risks of having sex (potential pregnancy, cancer/infertility from STIs)

LexiJay94 · 2022-02-09T18:42:26+00:00

Maybe I'm living in another universe but where exactly is this "sex negative" space?! I mean from a general perspective and not like women get shunned for doing OF...which actually seems more "women negative" than "sex negative"...

Serious_Papaya8615 · 2022-02-09T19:31:41+00:00

“Sex-negative cultural values” 🤡🤡🤡 Sex workers are disproportionately more physically abused, harmed and killed than any people in any other field of work. This libfem “sex positive” culture is a plague that is only leading women to danger.

spicyspa · 2022-02-09T18:54:01+00:00

We all know that "just negative cultural values" can have devastating consequences for a woman.

kolsen92 · 2022-02-09T19:02:28+00:00

Or ya know protecting our bodies and metal health but yeah more important to be✨✨culturally sex positive✨✨

herbivorouscarnivore · 2022-02-09T20:30:44+00:00

Putting this on a pink background doesn’t make it any less written by a male. This advice is terrible. “Exploring sex from the beginning” is just another version of the lie some men barf about, “I can’t fall in love with a woman before having sex with her.”

crapcakes0987 · 2022-02-09T19:50:05+00:00

They must hate me then. I’m in my mid 20s and never had sex once 😂 i’m sex negative into the thousands!!! Lol I am not gonna do it until I’m married, honestly. And that will be after extreme vetting. Not giving them a chance with my body. I’ve waited this long, might as well continue to wait!

AyemHerself · 2022-02-09T22:23:32+00:00

"The timing of sex doesn't matter but definitely start right now"

These people don't even hear themselves. The idea of telling someone is a bad idea to wait to have sex leaves a bad taste in my mouth and directly contradicts the narrative of "consent" that sex positive people cling to.

dating-adventures · 2022-02-09T19:52:05+00:00

This is dating advice catered to men. It’s in their best interest for women to have sex ASAP.

Platipus6 · 2022-02-09T21:51:14+00:00

The misinformation will continue until the brainwashing is complete.

millennialpink2000 · 2022-02-09T19:07:43+00:00

They just contradicted themselves in two sentences. This symbolizes how stupid the s*x pozzie lifestyle really is. It does not benefit women to jump into bed with strangers and it's not our job to maintain "cultural values" with our coochies.

obiwindukin · 2022-02-09T19:42:45+00:00

Before FDS I always gave it up like the second or third date. I started making them wait and they fell off so quick. Make em wait! They always show themselves.

ifhewantedtohewould · 2022-02-09T23:53:16+00:00

Nah waiting for sex just means you respect your body and weed out the scrotes who are literally just looking for sex or are horrible at intimacy.

anadreamy2 · 2022-02-09T23:26:25+00:00

It’s weird how wanting to maintain self preservation and be aware of potential risks women in general have to deal while engaging in casual sex and hookups is seem as being sex negative or even traditional. This makes no sense considering that in every other context where you are going to a place you don’t know for example people would generally advise you to be cautious and to be aware of potential danger but why in dating scenarios taking care of yourself and making smart decisions for your own safety is not seem as the right thing to do?

luna_prismatic · 2022-02-10T00:45:37+00:00

This is what I hate about these type of Instagram pop “psychology” peddlers. The “advice” is presented in a fun, light hearted way but in order to get likes and views it caters to the majority by trying to appear neutral. Of course, he could be saying that the timing of sex doesn’t matter whether you have it one day or one year into getting to know someone. But the plausible deniability is giving manipulation, and people eat it up. He’s willfully ignoring the fact that sex and love (and the people who get to promote “norms” about it) are about power dynamics. The construct of sex fundamentally affects people differently when they choose to partake in it - it doesn’t take a genius to recall the different ways a boy and girl are treated in the hallways once word gets out that she gave him a blowjob. This sex “neutrality” position, this “everyone is equally free to do what they wish” position is a fantasy, and woke culture indoctrination. “Do whatever you want! But not that shitty thing that men don’t like”. So over it..

lakat17 · 2022-02-10T00:29:22+00:00

“The timing of sex has no measure of difference for men or women. So I will propose a sexual behavior that ultimately benefits men and can put women in harms way. There is no need to think or vet your potential sexual partner, just live in the moment, since this practice benefits men, who don’t have to live with the consequences of pregnancy, rate of STDs compared to women, and male sexual violence. You see if you were really a cool 😎 girl, you’d think just like a man, so men can benefit, and pretend we don’t live in a world we’re women are already trained to cater to men’s sexual interests” …. Fuck outta here. I hate how it’s presented neutrally but the reality for women and men and intimidate relations is not only quite different but harmful for girls and women.

dinarvand88 · 2022-02-10T00:01:02+00:00

My family's from a nation that is ruled by religious fundamentalists but is more culturally liberal than the government and some men will use that to gaslight a woman into having sex too soon because if she doesn't, she's some sort of "religious fundamentalist" or "government supporter" or "backwarded". When we know it's just some sort of manipulation to get easy access to her.

StrawberryMoon3 · 2022-02-10T05:38:40+00:00

When men refuse to go down on women, do we also call that sex-negative cultural values?

exhalefierceness · 2022-02-10T00:32:56+00:00

Uh no

CandidKick · 2022-02-10T08:04:01+00:00

Nope. I waited a long ass time with my now husband. Part of the vetting was filtering out men who were just looking for sex.

fogplum · 2022-02-10T18:08:45+00:00

"you have to do what feels more comfortable and safe" YES

"Just know that the timing of sex has nothing to do with anything other than sex-negative cultural values" UHH WHAT? Way to contradict yourself.

The timing of sex has to do with fucking self-preservation first and foremost, as well as finding a man who loves you for YOU rather than what you do for his penis.

cryptohobo · 2022-02-10T20:27:16+00:00

I can tell you for a FACT that this is unequivocally absolute BULLSHIT!

I was reading a red pill site recently and the author outright acknowledges that red pill can only exist if women are offering up sex like it’s nothing. If someone wants me to find it and link it I will as proof. But this shouldn’t be surprising that they’ll take advantage of women who give up the cookie because they are LVM and it’d otherwise be too much work for them to properly court a woman.

The fact that a red pill site admitted this totally explains why so many scrotes are against FDS. They can’t have us so they hate us!

AnniaT · 2022-02-10T10:29:30+00:00

Sure let's risk sexual diseases, pregnancies and emotional trauma or unpleasant sex with men we barely know.

ennu_i_sao · 2022-02-10T02:56:05+00:00

Great sex is great but it doesn’t fix terrible flaws in a relationship or make you more compatible. It won’t make someone magically love you or stop cheating or commit to a relationship. It won’t fix jealousy or miscommunication or different ideologies/values. If anything, it might just distract you from what’s truly important or serve as a reward for pickup artists before they drop you.

Everyone who has personally told me their relationship was founded on “stayed the night and never left” has massive issues in their relationship that they ignore because of the sunk cost fallacy. I’m sure there are exceptions out there, just like I’m sure some people found their true love on tinder somehow, but overall it’s just not great advice. Great sex doesn’t mean he care about childcare or sharing chores. It doesn’t mean he won’t hurt you. Sometimes, people like they throw shit at the wall and see if it sticks. They’ll just stay along passively and see if it seems to work out or if it blows up in their faces.

Tharwaum · 2022-02-10T21:39:26+00:00

Oh yeah it’s of no consequence to not “wait” for sex. Surely the fact that not waiting statistically results in having a “high body count” won’t mean men will mock you or avoid you, they are FINE with it, right? I’m sure most men do not have any sex negative cultural values so don’t be sex negative and don’t hesitate to just do it ladies!

_queeeen_ · 2022-02-12T03:20:28+00:00

sex on the first date works out if your man is a unicorn. do you want to find out if a man is a unicorn by putting your mental and physical safety on the line? or do you want to find out if he is a unicorn through numerous, enjoyable dates where you get to know each other as people?

comet2004 · 2022-02-17T00:56:10+00:00

i followed the advice to invite a guy over after 6 dates and literally had a relationship ship ruined over it. we didn't even have sex, just made out. and immediately after he changed and labeled me as a girl who is not relationship material. misogyny absolutely does exist. never following that advice ever again.

Title	"wait to have sex" labeled as "bad dating advice"...and all of the people in the comments applauding...
Author	LexiJay94
Upvotes	525
Comments	57
Date	February 9, 2022 6:37 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/sokjyw/wait_to_have_sex_labeled_as_bad_dating_adviceand/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wait-to-have-sex-labeled-as-bad-dating-adviceand.1101534 https://theredarchive.com/post/1101534

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