If women want equal roles in marriage they should take on equal roles in dating

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-05-06T17:06:06+00:00

Removed for OP abandonment

Notanothrshitthrow · 2022-05-06T14:01:30+00:00

I really do wonder where the women interviewed for these kind of studies come from, I'm from the UK and I've never dated a progressive woman who expected me to pay for dates, lead the way in all intimacy etc. I just don't come across them.

But overall, I do agree (please don't nuke me mods). Practice what you preach. I do find it ridiculous when a feminist wants gender roles to be removed in all areas, apart from dating (especially when they justify it with "it's just my preference!").

NouveauALaVille · 2022-05-06T14:47:04+00:00

Yeah. Unfortunately women have a one sided denftion of equality. Women have been freed from gender roles; men are still held to it. Yet women claim that they are opressed and people buy it

gladusgates · 2022-05-06T13:49:45+00:00

They should, but they won't, and they don't have to, as they have all of the leverage. In an ideal world this would be the case, but in the current world we live in, women can have their cake and eat it too. And men are enablers, men want vagina so badly that they will put up with being the interviewee for the entire dating stage despite being the ones who are required to strike up interesting conversation and ask all of the questions. They will put up with having to spend the most money between the both of them despite being expected to plan the dates and bring the entertainment.

Women have no incentive really to give away any of this power/leverage. They'll enjoy being a passenger while the man is required to bring the private jet. Then they will get online and complain about their husband who earns 25% or more than her, who works more hours in a more difficult job not doing 50% of the housework.

"You just can't make this stuff up" - Kevin Samuels.

Invictus_44 · 2022-05-06T13:54:36+00:00

Its almost like what feminism expects of women doesnt align with their natural instincts..... so weird....

Fantastic_Plane_6438 · 2022-05-06T14:50:59+00:00

They claim but they dont really want

Clavicymbalum · 2022-05-06T14:43:33+00:00

Feminists would never date men who want equality in dating.

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2022-05-06T15:36:11+00:00

I already did all those things. Equal marriage achieved.

parahacker · 2022-05-06T15:32:43+00:00

Meanwhile, the chads (which I'll define here as a type of man who has norespect for a woman's personal space) are making moves on every girlthey see so... law of averages... they're going to be getting a lot moreaction while the more mild mannered men watch bitterly.

You missed the fact that those men who have no respect for women's personal space are also gaining more experience in approaching women, figuring out what works and what doesn't.

This is the entire problem with a society that imposes initiation on the man while heavily penalizing mistakes with shaming tactics or other, infrequent but still disastrous, risks. The ones that care won't do it, and have fewer socially acceptable moments to learn how to do it well, leaving the ones that don't care to rule the playing field.

And worse, they then reinforce stereotypes about men, held by men and women both, which only constricts the circumstances that much more.

River_Archer_32 · 2022-05-06T13:58:10+00:00

They won't. Women don't like to be givers.

Lakeyute · 2022-05-06T13:47:44+00:00

How does any of that shit lead to more equal roles in marriage?

Everything you just suggested women do, won’t make their future marriages better, it just makes it easier for men to date them and other women and in fact would just be another thing to add to red pill complaints and things they bitch about..

I can already see it now “if a woman offered to split the bill in the past but asked you to pay 6 years in to your relationship she doesn’t actually desire you”

LillthOfBabylon · 2022-05-06T13:59:00+00:00

If women want equal roles in marriage they should take on equal roles in dating

Plenty do. You guys just dont want them.

Edit: Hell, I do all of your points and yet this subreddit still insists and Im some evil man hating feminist because I dont put up with whining.

cx456f · 2022-05-06T14:29:41+00:00

Side theory: “equal roles in marriage” is a goal not worth chasing, and just a scapegoat for people who are unsatisfied in their marriage. No one actually expects this, but it’s a nice cover story when you are no longer attracted to your spouse. No one wants to tell all their friends and family they lost sexual attraction or want something new and exciting. In general people fall back on sexist tropes when unsatisfied, rather than face what’s really going on.

Yummylicky23 · 2022-05-06T14:38:20+00:00

I do literally all these things

Novadina · 2022-05-06T15:34:18+00:00

Well I did all these things, I didn’t plan all the dates or do all the initiating, but about half. I have a shy husband who didn’t really have any experience before me. We always took turns paying for dates, and when we moved in together we split the bills and the chores. By the time we got married I was making so much more than him, so we split everything by percent of income earned so we could enjoy an increased standard of living from my income.

But red pill men here think I’m an evil feminist because I have a career, and they call my husband a “beta bux” because he was 30 by the time we got together. I don’t get it much, as I make the “bux” in our relationship but multiple men have told me the money doesn’t matter and apparently no women in their 20s are attracted to a 30 year old man except for their money. But he made about the same as me when we met, despite being nearly a decade older and me just barely graduating college and trying to start my career, so his barely existent money was definitely not a reason I got with him. Some men have even sent me rants about how my “poor husband is cucked” because I have had sex and relationships before him, and he hasn’t. But I am not to blame for the fact he didn’t date in his 20s, and my husband certainly doesn’t seem to think he got a bad deal, he’s glad he met me and got to enjoy his 30s with me.

The way some men insult other men who have equal relationships, I think in their social groups it may be unacceptable to have that kind of relationship, and then they will resist it. Why would they want to do it just to be called “beta” or “cucked” by their bros?

avoriure · 2022-05-06T15:36:52+00:00

i don’t really want to be equal when it comes to marriage. as long as my future husband is making the majority of our income, i’d gladly take care of the children, housework, and i’ll make sure to stay pretty for him. when it comes to decision making, i mainly want to have input on things pertaining the children if i have any and decorating the house lol. (and probably really fun dates) i wouldnt mind being of emotional support to my husband either. i’m good at it. if he’s working hard, i’ll make sure he’s rewarded and fulfilled in our marriage. i’ll never make him feel like i’m using him for his money.

as far as dating goes, i do prefer if men do the majority of the work. i think it’s very attractive.

CatchPhraze · 2022-05-06T14:21:27+00:00

Woman aren't getting equality in dating. They have less orgasms, increased risk of sti and pregnancy. Their smv decreases with time and ncount In ways men's doesn't. They do more emotional and home based work then men. They spend more effort time and money on being attractive then men.

Any man who expects equality in dating is forgetting all that and isn't asking for equality at all. He's asking to do 1/3rd the effort and risk and be praised for it. Nah. Gross. If he doesn't value you now, it'll only get worse after the honeymoon phase. More of a red flag then the thing a bullfighter uses. Ole bitch.

cowfishAreReal · 2022-05-06T14:38:50+00:00

That's already how most liberal/feminist women do things. If you want equal roles you can just not date the woman that don't want equal roles

Coder-Cat · 2022-05-06T15:38:07+00:00

I’ll pay half the bill when men start shaving their legs and armpits, dying their hair when it goes grey, wearing makeup, wearing high heals, plucking their eyebrows, moisturizing daily, waxing or bleaching anything, fearing for their safety every time they go out.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-05-06T15:52:29+00:00

As a woman I 100% agree with this.

I don’t expect men to pay for everything plan every etc. I also expect my partner to pull his weight around the house cooking etc.

I don’t want a daddy to look after me I am a full grown adult. I want a partner to build with

gofigure62 · 2022-05-06T14:42:59+00:00

*edit- fixed god awful spelling

Women do, do these things. People call them "pick me's".

They do exacy everything that men on the internet claim that they want, and still don't get selected sexually or romantically.

There are women on social media shouting from the roof tops that they'll pay, they"ll plan dates, they'll let their man cheat, they'll do ANYTHING just to have a man. Men will be in their comments telling the women that they're "wonderful" and "good" but these women are ALWAYS ALWAYS single.

Women like that exist. My sister is one of them. Absolutely 100% desperate. She'll do anything, and date anyone. But no one wants her.

I don't think men actually want women like this, otherwise the women who DO Behave this way would be rewarded with relationships and sex from men. It doesn't make sense why women who are saying that they'll do these things and begging to do them for men, are NEVER chosen by the men who say that they want these things.

I believe that men on average find this behavior unattractive, otherwise they'd be dating these women.

RealNiceLady · 2022-05-06T14:44:01+00:00

) Women should be more willing to make the first move.

That's not gonna work because if a guy doesn't make a move, he's not interested.

3) Women should plan the dates

This is not gonna work either. I know that a woman who plans dates asked a relationship coach named Evan Marc Katz why men were dumping her. He claimed it was because she was the guy in the relationship and men don't want to date other men.

baresquad · 2022-05-06T14:49:38+00:00

As the comment section shows, women are already doing all of this.

mcove97 · 2022-05-06T14:47:28+00:00

Is my man’s gunna carry half the baby? Take half the stretch marks? His dick gunna sag halfway down?

Child rearing will never be equal.

sarkington · 2022-05-06T14:24:07+00:00

As long as:

Women want sex less

Women have a greater physical risk

Lying/opportunism exists

There will be no incentive to initiate

Sorry, other people’s actions can and will always matter

Luckily, dinner and other expensive dates are now seen as gauche and exploitative

StopTheIncels · 2022-05-06T16:17:31+00:00

Man I saw it here somewhere but forgot the OP:

"Women are bleeding heart liberals, but when it comes to dating, they are rugged capitalists"

rivka_ruth · 2022-05-06T14:07:31+00:00

Counterpoint: I don’t want to be an equal in marriage.

1Here4Bach · 2022-05-06T14:28:17+00:00

When men are able to gestate children then we will.

Clavicymbalum · 2022-05-06T14:46:38+00:00

you arent serious bout her if you let her pay half, end of.

omomomomomoomomomo · 2022-05-06T15:16:06+00:00

(I see what you did there)

KikiYuyu · 2022-05-06T15:53:04+00:00

I'm fine with paying half and planning dates, but my personality isn't great when it comes to initiating anything social.

neetykeeno · 2022-05-06T16:00:48+00:00

I'll ask you out if I think you are worth it. You ask me out if you think I am worth it. If I ask you out it will be to a place that I am willing to pay the expense of. If I have asked you on a date I plan it...if you have asked me on a date you plan it and should plan for it to be comfortably within your budget just like I do when I do the asking. I start conversations I wish to have. I expect you to start conversations you wish to have.

All seems pretty equal to me.

ruboyuri · 2022-05-06T16:49:04+00:00

As long as men will pick the sex hot dog off the ground and eat it, and judge/resent women for having sex, they will have to initiate. No man I’ve ever dated failed to understand or acknowledge this reality

SlimLovin · 2022-05-06T17:06:00+00:00

Why is every post on this sub, “Women Should…?”

mcove97 · 2022-05-06T17:43:54+00:00

Personally I find traditional men really unnatractive, as I can't stand men who live square boring lifestyles where all they do is work, work and work. I want a man who isn't so busy working or having "Business meetings or business calls or travelling for business" 24/7 that he doesn't have time for me. I dated someone who was a rich businessman and it was awful. The constant phone calls. Constantly being busy. Constantly being an afterthought. Yeah no. I want a man who has time to make proper time for me and give me his proper full attention. I want a man who works part time and I want to work part time too so we can go do other fun things together in our spare time. I of course don't want children, so we both can work equally as much, and do equally as much of the housework. Personally I aspire to live the equal childfree DINK lifestyle. In regards to dating, I do in fact make the first move when I'm interested in someone. I've initiated sex with pretty much every guy I've had sex with as I don't believe in just waiting around to just get what you want. The same thing with dating. If I want someone, I go for it, as I don't just get things without working for them.. well most the time anyway. Some things you have to work for and some things you just get handed to you, but I believe in pursuing things you want and not just waiting for it to fall into your lap. As for paying the bills. I always pay for what I buy, and those who don't let me I don't date. I'm also great at initializing conversation and I could chat with someone for hours cause I'm a great conversationalist. Of course whetter or not I initialize conversation is based on interest. If i don't initialize a conversation with a guy who's interested in me it's cause I'm not interested in him. I also plan for and initiate dates, though my preferred date is making food together and eating and having some wine or beer while watching a movie together. I'm not particularly demanding when it comes to dates and since I always pay my own way I usually don't want to do very expensive dated.

Title	If women want equal roles in marriage they should take on equal roles in dating
Author	miminothing
Upvotes	72
Comments	284
Date	May 6, 2022 1:29 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ujnihm/if_women_want_equal_roles_in_marriage_they_should/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-women-want-equal-roles-in-marriage-they-should.1115299 https://theredarchive.com/post/1115299

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