Was called misogynist at work this week for keeping my door open when alone with girls and women.

oncothrow · 2022-06-16T00:31:03+00:00

I thought this was pretty standard known policy for male teachers. Never be closed door when there's only one female student / staff member there with you.

https://np.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/otg3yp/male_teachers_of_reddit_what_are_some_unspoken/

Gee-Oh1 · 2022-06-16T00:26:57+00:00

Keep doing that! We are too vulnerable to have even the merest hint of inappropriateness.

Remember any woman can make any accusation against you, no matter how ridiculous or unfounded and you will not be believed and you'll be stuck with the virtually impossible task of trying to prove your innocence.

Take no risks!

Asatmaya · 2022-06-16T00:43:29+00:00

The one thing women seem to hate more than anything else is men refusing to open themselves up to abuse from women; I get abuse for having had a vasectomy after being tricked into impregnating two different women.

Gynophobia != misogyny

ramao__ · 2022-06-16T00:47:27+00:00

You're doing the right thing! They're just attacking you because they can't see you as vulnerable anymore, they know you are alert and taking precautions. Better to just be called a misogynist than to have to prove in a court that you're innocent.

PkmnGymLeader · 2022-06-16T02:08:42+00:00

I’m confused. You’re being called misogynist for keeping a door open at work? Isn’t that just standard procedure? Usually men are called creepy for doing the exact opposite of this.

GhOsTinBOUND · 2022-06-16T01:12:09+00:00

The only reason they are shaming you is because now it'd be so much harder to frame you for something. Keep doing it.

Huotou · 2022-06-16T02:16:15+00:00

nowadays, everything is misogynistic. wtf

DNatz · 2022-06-16T01:12:59+00:00

Tell them to fuck off and that you do it for your own protection.

KamadoJonathan · 2022-06-16T02:55:15+00:00

Remember when Mike Pence said he wouldn't go to dinner with a woman if his wife wasn't present? All these feminazis attacked him.

Like what? He's respecting his wife. But they don't have husbands and wouldn't understand.

63daddy · 2022-06-16T01:26:35+00:00

Woman: It’s misogynist that you leave the door open When women are in here, but not men!

You: No, it’s called risk management. There’s basically no risk men will falsely accuse me.

dojoboy · 2022-06-16T01:41:09+00:00

Make a sexual harassment claims with HR.

Not trusting women and hating women are mutually exclusive.

MadBlackGreek · 2022-06-16T02:52:25+00:00

Fuck their feelings. Their attitude is exactly why you need to keep the door open

2022-06-16T01:44:43+00:00

How dare you watch out for yourself!

ghostslikme · 2022-06-16T02:23:41+00:00

But if you closed the door then you would still be a misogynist, or worse a rapist

Blackbarnabyjones · 2022-06-16T03:41:51+00:00

YOu are taking a weapon out of the arsenal of the con-woman.

Of course she is going to cry "not fair!"

therenousername · 2022-06-16T01:40:59+00:00

Honestly don't blame you some girls are just fucking awful and stupid and will just accuse you of something sexual or make you sound threatening Had a girl do it to me we were heading to the local park just to chill out and she told the shop keep I was gonna rape her or beat her up something like that I only know it was one of those or maybe both bc I was told off by one of the female workers in there a week later when I went in

Just a side note I wasn't interested in her at all we were only friends bc I was forced into it by pure friend grops clashing so we all tried to fit into this new norm

trashtony69 · 2022-06-16T04:25:48+00:00

Very odd for women to find this misogynistic. Like they take measures to avoid predators, you’re taking measures to avoid being accused of being one (which is absolutely fair enough by the way). Any woman that doesn’t understand this point of view is probably mad she can’t seize the opportunity to abuse her power otherwise why else should she be mad?

marks1995 · 2022-06-16T03:41:21+00:00

Tough one.

From their point of view, they believe you are assuming they might make a false claim. No different from how we feel when we are expected to take some measures because we "might" be a rapist. They think you are assuming the worst of them as a person.

On the other hand (and the correct one), this is normal practice. You shouldn't be alone in your office with a woman. Or in her apartment or home. Doctors don't examine women without a nurse in the room. Coaches don't go in locker rooms with women or girls they coach alone. It protects everyone.

I still remember the night I finally told my wife why I wouldn't drive the babysitter home. She always wanted me to do it so she could get comfortable and just thought I was being lazy. I finally told her, "Babe, do you really think it's a good idea for a grown man to be driving a 15 yo girl somewhere alone at midnight?" It took a second, but then that look of recognition hit. She never complained again.

sexytimeinseattle · 2022-06-16T05:03:56+00:00

This is just as inane as Sheryl Sandberg saying that male supervisors needed to spend as much personal time with their female staff as they do their male staff.

SS, you can't dictate with whom I choose to be friends. That's my time, not your time, to dictate. Sorry if you and people like you built a culture in which men should be afraid of spending personal time with female subordinates. Maybe you should have thought that through.

Izalias · 2022-06-16T05:07:34+00:00

"I leave the door open because I don't trust you with my career, and the fact your making a big deal out of this is justifying that belief", clearly if they are complaining about this then they are targeting you, you're doing the right thing, double down.

JiuJitsu_Ronin · 2022-06-16T04:16:47+00:00

Never be alone with those that made that accusation, not even with the door open.

They don’t want you to feel safe and will resort to awful things to achieve this.

kiaeej · 2022-06-16T02:42:22+00:00

ohhh nooo. always keep the door open. always. never meet anywhere or anytime theres even a hint of secrecy or a possibility of sExUAl hARrassmEnT

TitanicPat · 2022-06-16T06:07:34+00:00

Feminists shout every man is a potential rapist, then complain when men make situations safer for everyone.

Keeping these people happy is not just impossible, but a stupid and dangerous goal to pursue.

IronJohnMRA · 2022-06-16T08:55:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

nanan00 · 2022-06-16T14:00:21+00:00

Our corporate HR policy is doors must stay open if there is mixed company in the room. I brought up same sex harassment and they just rolled their eyes at me at the sexual harassment training class.

arrouk · 2022-06-16T07:51:33+00:00

The ones complaining are the ones I would trust the least.

If someone has an issue with you protecting yourself then they are the 1 with the problem.

AxalonNemesis · 2022-06-16T23:12:44+00:00

Just mad they can't accuse you.

mikesteane · 2022-06-16T04:25:01+00:00

"You've just shown how easy it is to say things against men."

justafanpassingby · 2022-06-16T05:49:37+00:00

If we close it , we're creep.

If we keep it open , we're misogynist.

It's really tricky although I will always prefer being called misogynist over a pervert.

I'd rather face HR than a Judge.

pn1159 · 2022-06-16T03:43:16+00:00

How about you file a complaint of harassment with your company and a claim of hostile work environment with your state and federal groups?

Oz70NYC · 2022-06-16T04:33:52+00:00

This is policy company wide for the security firm I work for, as implemented by the CEO in DIRECT response to what the HR manager...who happens to be a Pussy Cap wearing super feminist "suggested". Now they hate it because it's "unfair" that male employees and staff get more private access when talking with executives. But this is what YOU wanted. YOU wanted "all doors open during meeting as so to protect female staff from potential unwanted advances." She's a fucking moron this woman. How she even has her job astounds me.

eyesayhello · 2022-06-16T07:56:50+00:00

Keep the door open. Being called a misogynist is better than being a MeToo.

odysseytree · 2022-06-16T08:49:37+00:00

Because by keeping the door open, you punctured the capability of their weapon which threatened them.

International_Risk82 · 2022-06-16T09:10:05+00:00

Don't budge. You might get called a misogynist but at least no woman will be able to falsely accuse you of something that could end your career life. Untill the majority of women grow into decent human beings, you have every right to be paranoid.

Aurelius-chfn09a · 2022-06-16T13:07:54+00:00

Most people who trot out the term "misogynist" don't know, or don't care, what it means. The goal is simply to make the accuser seem like they're in the morally superior position. The correct response is to never apologize, and to put the onus on your accuser to justify the charge of misogyny.

ImTheTrueFireStarter · 2022-06-16T10:42:21+00:00

Honestly, I would just go with it

The last thing you want is to close the door and be falsely accused of harassment while there aren’t any witnesses

jkjkjij22 · 2022-06-16T04:14:36+00:00

I will be removing the door all together. The only safe option is a no-door policy. Also, what are the laws on having a security camera on at all times?

neolib-cowboy · 2022-06-16T03:20:50+00:00

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. IMO, better to use the "Billy Graham Rule" and be safe than sorry. In this situation tho, claim you leave the door open for everybody for plausible deniability & also avoid accusations of sexism (if you leave the door open with anybody, then you can't be accused of treating women differently). If you absolutely must speak to a woman alone at work, you can always record the conversation secretly

blaizken_420 · 2022-06-16T03:22:16+00:00

Tell them to go fuck yourself

jadedlonewolf89 · 2022-06-16T03:51:13+00:00

I don’t care about how it makes you feel, the door stays open.

needalife94 · 2022-06-16T04:10:25+00:00

Next time someone says something question them. Like "how is it misogynistic to leave the door open so that if she feels threatened she can leave ?"

AndyBrown65 · 2022-06-16T06:34:02+00:00

It's called safety.

Some nut bag goes in for a pay rise. She says "I want, I want, I want" You say "Yeah.... nah"

Suddenly, she goes to HR says you flopped out your willy grabbed her boobs and she is "upset beyond consolation and might even go a workplace injury claim"

YesAmAThrowaway · 2022-06-16T08:28:50+00:00

It's safer for you, it's safer for women, it's a win-win from even a feminist standpoint. I can't fathom why they would complain, but I suppose always keep it open from now on, regardless od who's with you.

matrixislife · 2022-06-16T13:56:15+00:00

Of course you are! How can you possibly believe that you might end up the target of an untrue accusation, they would never tell fibs! And even if they did it would only be right seeing as you personally have oppressed these poor workers since 1696 or whenever it was.

TFME1 · 2022-06-16T03:27:22+00:00

Just reply that you're creating a "safe space" for fragile, risk-intolerant misandrists. /s

Or, perhaps, maybe not, if you like your job and prefer to avoid spontaneous visits from HR personnel.

slver6 · 2022-06-16T07:28:33+00:00

it would be interesting if you post this in outofmychest or trueoutofmychest

Shayde505 · 2022-06-16T12:46:49+00:00

As a security guard I would never been in a closed room with a female

global_nutella · 2022-06-16T14:28:12+00:00

Good on you! That is very smart

cybin · 2022-06-16T15:56:30+00:00

Office camera. No one has an expectation of privacy at work except in the restroom.

ETA: also breast milk pumping area.

Rifter0876 · 2022-06-16T16:26:06+00:00

If you are in a single party state just get a bodycam(like one of those small ones that looks like a pen and put it in your top pocket) and keep a month or two of recordings at a time, if anyone makes any false allegations you have evidence ready to go.

Or, like others have suggested, just put a camera in your office if company/hr will go for that.

rodneybmore · 2022-06-16T17:19:18+00:00

Never let anyone shame you for protecting yourself

Cartoonsgivemelife · 2022-06-16T17:38:13+00:00

So, they were mad that you kept the door open? that sounds kind silly.

throwthisaway4262022 · 2022-06-16T17:47:36+00:00

The person who accused you of that absolutely should not get away with it.

infinity_calculator · 2022-06-16T18:22:38+00:00

You cannot please everyone.

Just tell them to F off (in your mind, they cannot hear you)

Profitglutton · 2022-06-16T21:00:23+00:00

Not opening yourself up for a false rape accusation is misogyny don't you know? /s

awkwarddoggos · 2022-06-16T21:06:38+00:00

I am seriously confused on what the actual issue is here?? You’re leaving the door open in a room where it’s just you and somebody else shouldn’t that be seen as something positive as you’re essentially making sure you are both safe and secure

Beneficial-You-3669 · 2022-06-16T21:27:42+00:00

They want the option of ruining you if they feel like it essentially, unfortunately the modern world requires guys to take these precautions.

Don't buckle to the shaming language, continue to protect yourself.

Beneficial-You-3669 · 2022-06-16T21:32:43+00:00

I mean their response to a perfectly reasonable request shows he was perfectly correct in his stance.

It's ironic really they think by saying what they said it'd shame him into doing what they want, when in reality all it did was prove his point utterly.

Doot-Dootoof · 2022-06-16T07:49:05+00:00

You should’ve said, “being called a misogynist may just be better than being called a rapist.”

okfornothing · 2022-06-16T03:31:19+00:00

Smart man alert here! Damn straight brother! Protect yourself at all costs, don't give them a inch to question your integrity and career!

2022-06-16T04:25:19+00:00

That’s very wise 👍

Brandelis · 2022-06-16T05:19:43+00:00

Very condescending of them, not unexpected no less

Random_182f2565 · 2022-06-16T05:36:42+00:00

Sounds like you are very very right.

pappo4ever · 2022-06-16T06:31:02+00:00

Now you know you were right in doing so.

Werwet10 · 2022-06-16T06:43:22+00:00

Yep. Just leave the door open for everyone. Don't have to do it only when girls are there.

Hound_of_Hell · 2022-06-16T08:08:10+00:00

Wouldn’t they want it open?? Huh??

rta_gaming_rj7 · 2022-06-16T09:04:01+00:00

You are doing right thing, keep doing it, i do it too. Always be prepared for the worst. There are many evil female humans out there.

phoenix335 · 2022-06-16T10:22:22+00:00

"you are making unfounded accusations against you harder, that is a disadvantage to some who might want to do this to you, that means it is bad"

DurianOne7313 · 2022-06-16T10:29:43+00:00

Start recording your conversations with women only. Trust me.

iainmf · 2022-06-16T11:15:18+00:00

They said I need to be fair and leave the door open when alone with anyone, so be it.

This is good news. They've just established that they want equal treatment. Now if anyone asks for special treatment, you can just say that you are trying to treat everyone equally, just like you were asked to do.

Intelligent-Term · 2022-06-16T12:53:52+00:00

Keep doing it and Just wear a smile and if anyone says anything just say "Well I'm trying to create a safe space for women."

Ziigii · 2022-06-16T13:28:47+00:00

Tell them that they are misandrist because they want to close the door and accuse you of abuse.

AJKINGYT · 2022-06-16T12:09:55+00:00

Say "do you want me to close the door when we are alone?"

LS_CS · 2022-06-16T17:30:34+00:00

Wanna get banned from the crazy subs.

rabel111 · 2022-06-16T17:31:55+00:00

When being male is misogyny /s

poobobo · 2022-06-16T18:14:48+00:00

Better to be called a misogynist than a rapist. Keep that door open.

Professionalorganism · 2022-06-16T18:50:25+00:00

They xalled you a mysoginist because you were trying to protect yourself from their lies 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

OTR_7 · 2022-06-16T19:14:42+00:00

The truth of the matter is they have run out of causes to fight for and will lurch onto anything to give themselves purpose. You are essentially dealing with professional 'victims' and can never appease them. Stand your ground, record audio convos if you can and do not sit in a meeting or break/tea room alone with a female.

Crushed_95 · 2022-06-16T19:41:12+00:00

So? Way bettef than going thru the alternatives!

Napo5000 · 2022-06-16T20:28:27+00:00

When I was volunteering for a High school they made it very clear you cannot be alone with any student regardless of gender.

pdoherty972 · 2022-06-16T20:48:01+00:00

Misogynist for keeping the door open when alone with girls/women? That's called "not setting yourself up".

Huffers1010 · 2022-06-16T20:57:48+00:00

Until I've established a level of trust (which takes a long time, months, and I don't do lightly) I will never under any circumstance be alone with any woman other than my long-term, live-in partner or my mother. Younger, attractive women who make a more plausible claimant make me even more cautious.

Sorry, ladies. If you don't like it, speak out against false claims.

Catch-the-Rabbit · 2022-06-16T22:57:51+00:00

Uh...wtf. Can I ask where you are? Not exactly but state/ country?!?

That seems so very....odd

I am not insinuating you're a predator

But In the game of: he said, she said....why would someone say that to you?

DietDoritos · 2022-06-16T23:28:17+00:00

They're just mad you're not leaving yourself open for false accusations, keep up the good work 😏

McFeely_Smackup · 2022-06-16T23:40:28+00:00

I haven't spoken to a woman at work for anything other than specific work related issues in over 10 years, not since I had to fire a guy on my team for a harassment claim that even HR acknowledged was malicious. But the guy didn't follow the HR instructions, and he got the boot.

so, nope...no casual conversations, no "what did you do this weekend", no closed door meetings.

Ungrateful_bipedal · 2022-06-16T23:41:15+00:00

I am 44(m) married. I have an assistant, an intern and a Wealth Analyst all reporting to me. The intern and the Welath Analyst are Gen Z. I won't close the door nor go into a storage/file room alone with them. Hella Nope. I also won't take the teen babysitter home. My wife is in perfect agreement. It's them we don't trust not me.

Sir_Miasf · 2022-06-17T19:03:41+00:00

I lost an awesome job because of gossip and the traditional rug pull typo by my colleagues and majority women. I'm so happy. Better yet, they didn't even gave me a reason and was the only job i had in two years. Best part is being replaced by two women and get to know later that my closest friend in there was the one doing most of it. I feel so disgusted by this type of ambient, and even more when "man" behave like these low level manipulation, typical of girls in high school. Manhood is extinct in work place.

Kwen_Oellogg · 2022-06-16T05:09:48+00:00

A corollary of the Mike Pence rule. Well done OP.

tiredfromlife2019 · 2022-06-16T08:18:47+00:00

Stop helping them unless they are your friends or family.

IronJohnMRA · 2022-06-16T11:18:17+00:00

Are you recording your conversations at work? Sounds like you might need to. Especially with the people calling you this name. You're on their radar. Please protect yourself.

pacsatonifil · 2022-06-16T11:49:15+00:00

That seems like such a common sense thing to do. Why would anyone care? You are protecting her too.

obesetial · 2022-06-16T12:15:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Subtle_Opinion · 2022-06-16T15:04:17+00:00

damned when you do and damned when you don't. they need to pick and choose what's right and wrong so we can set a standard here.

roamingaleee · 2022-06-16T15:53:08+00:00

Double standards much? If you leave the door open, you're called misgynistic, and if you leave the door closed you're called a creep. When does it end?

venom9110 · 2022-06-16T04:58:01+00:00

Religious people already do this. Apparently for these reasons that were already established thousands of years ago and not just for dogma.

Fuzzwuzzle2 · 2022-06-16T09:37:23+00:00

Just take the door off for a power move

allmyghtt · 2022-06-16T09:50:58+00:00

Buy a body cam like police

24x7cumpump · 2022-06-16T14:34:06+00:00

What the hell kinds of places do you people work at? Doors open, cameras in offices?

throwwwwwwwaqay · 2022-06-16T02:51:14+00:00

Isnt their point that you should leave the door open for when ANYONE is in there with you, men or women? Why don’t you do that anyway instead of Only for women

The_Equalitarian · 2022-06-16T18:42:42+00:00

uhhhhhhh...thats crazy.

Title	Was called misogynist at work this week for keeping my door open when alone with girls and women.
Author	obesetial
Upvotes	1317
Comments	237
Date	June 16, 2022 12:22 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/vd8w2o/was_called_misogynist_at_work_this_week_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/was-called-misogynist-at-work-this-week-for.1119855 https://theredarchive.com/post/1119855

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