What advantages does men have in the dating game?

Bandit174 · 2022-10-08T02:38:28+00:00

I actually do think attractive men have the advantage over attractive women. They are more rare and as a result have more bargaining power. They have easy access to sex similar to women but don't have any of the cons a woman would so it's basically the best of both worlds.

In terms of average and ugly men vs women, I think the women have more leverage and get better outcomes for both sex and relationships. I'd say aside from the obvious ones like no pregnancy risk, lower std risk and lower risk if veing raped, the only male advantage that affects your actual options is that guys can probably compensate with money more than women can but realistically very few men will get enough money to where that becomes a factor so it's not applicable in most cases and its also not all that satisfying of an option.

Life_Level_6280 · 2022-10-08T07:23:31+00:00

Attractive men have it really really easy. Easier than attractive women as they 1) arent harassed by non-attractive women, though attractive women are very often approached by non-attractive men. 2) attractive men have an insane amount of attention and knowing that other men do not have this is ego satisfying. 3) Attractive men are the only ones that can get what they want instantly. If we assume most women do not want meaningless casual sex, yet men want this, attractive women still have to filter through a bunch of men-lusting dates before they find someone for a long term relationship. Attractive men - by maybe a bit of lying - can easily get sex and not commit.
Its still common practice that men initiate the conversation. As a men you therefore have the power to choose who you decide to approach and potentially spend time with. While women can approach, it is often not the norm and a lot of women also prefer that men take the initiative (i dont think this is weak or ‘sexist’ btw)
Men can lie more easily about their intent. They can say they want a long term relationship while they just want casual sex and its really hard to know the difference. Is this fucked up by men to lie about this? Yes. Does it give power? Yes.
Men can ‘upgrade’ themselves easier than woman. A man who’s not good looking and therefore physically not ‘attractive’ can 1) get muscular, 2) get rich, 3) get humor, 4) get charismatic, 5) build social status through eg being top executive or best at sports etc. Being a woman and not physically attractive....it’s a lot harder. Besides working out, men typically place a lot less emphasis on a womans career and social status and it might even work against her. Being unattractive as a woman is really tough.
In line with 4, men usually increase in value as they grow older and women lower in value. Add to that the desire for children before a certain age by women, this leads to a lot of stress / time pressure to find the right men. While a lot more women remain childless now a days (by choice) so this advantage is reduced, but still a large part of women want children before lets say 35. Men therefore have a more relaxed position and can ‘wait it out’ longer.
Based on 5, men can choose to have both a career and later have children when they are 40. While society is getting more accommodating through part time work etc, its still hard for a woman to both have children and have an ‘executive role’ career where basically taking a year off / working part time fucks up all your opportunities.
Sexual stimulation is a lot easier for men so there is less variance in the outcome of casual sex. Every woman is different in what she wants and thus its harder the men to find out what she wants. (If he is even considerate enough to think about this...) Sex can hurt, feel uncomfortable, feel boring, feel fearful, etc for a woman. A men can basically just put it in, and as long as there’s a bit of compatibility....it will kinda work out and the sex will feel good for him.

J-MAMA · 2022-10-08T16:12:43+00:00

I am considered an attractive man.

The advantage I notice is that I can act like a woman when it comes to dating.

techr0nin · 2022-10-08T04:42:10+00:00

Men have one major advantage: your sexual value is generally evaluated holistically by women, and some of the common criterias are within your control, and thus male attractiveness can be more mutable to some extent. Comparatively most of a woman’s sexual value come from the womb (both literally and figuratively).

That said having an advantage doesn’t it is easy to tap into, and depending on your starting point it may even be quite difficult; for a minority of unfortunate men it may be completely irrelevant if you start low enough.

Remarkable_Ad_1129 · 2022-10-08T01:48:56+00:00

Relative dating safety compared to women is possibly the only positive … otherwise u need to realise that dating is always a losing game for men, youre always in a disadvantaged position.

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2022-10-08T07:47:37+00:00

A top-tier man has all sorts of choice. However, this only applies to the top 10 percent or higher.

The average man is invisible.

MotleyCrew1989 · 2022-10-08T03:13:58+00:00

None

ExpensiveShoulder580 · 2022-10-08T02:56:54+00:00

Approaching people out of your own volition.

Being constantly approached by strangers you want nothing to do with sounds terrible tbh.

MC-Purp · 2022-10-08T14:24:35+00:00

Well, the top 20% guys have a amazing advantages in dating and life in general. It’s been my experience, when I was at my most attractive, that everyone treats you better. From coworkers to strangers on the street, which starts a positive feed back loop for your confidence. I turn making approaching women easier, getting promoted at work easier, and generally better life.

Other than that, the advantages of being a man in the dating scene IMO, are 1. You get to mostly control the pace, women expect men to take the initiative so take how you want. 2. Secondary to initiative, men get to set the scene and plan the date. Huge advantage!

Steakman1 · 2022-10-08T02:35:04+00:00

Though men have to deal with more rejection, they don’t have to deal with unsolicited and overly sexualized approaches from bad people consistently.

Like yea I get some men would love thie idea of a bunch of women sliding in their dm’s. But imagine it’s exclusively overweight and unattractive women who would fuck any guy who responds.

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-10-08T04:37:06+00:00

Most if not the vast majority of men have absolutely zero absolutely no advantages in the dating game whatsoever. That's why so many men stay single. I wanna know just exactly how men make it harder than it needs to be. Men get brutally and viciously cheated on, cucked, ghosted, rejected and friendzoned. No to mention shit-tested and lead on. So dating is all in women's favor and the small majority of high value alpha Chads, Tyrones, Pookies and Ray-Rays. Only them and women stay win the dating game.

mistressusa · 2022-10-08T20:26:02+00:00

My 22yo daughter tells me that she and her girlfriends feel that, generally speaking, women decide when to go from dating to sex and men decide when to take a situationship to a gf/bf relationship. So that's where men have power/advantage.

Such_Substance_320 · 2022-10-08T02:01:01+00:00

Being labeled as trash or just after one thing is a good start!!! I’m surprised more men don’t just give up on women to be honest. My son (18) and a lot of his friends are going that way. He’s a good looking lad who’s been asked out but just isn’t interested

TotalTravesty · 2022-10-08T01:33:58+00:00

You can take my assumed role to act first and choose out of my cold dead hands. Seriously, I know being seen as the active role can get exhausting but if I choose every girl I ask out, even if 99 of them say no, the 1 who says yes will be one I know I like. And I can get those other 99 over with as quickly as I want.

Also as the asker I get to choose where to go on a first date. Ask me how many times I’ve been conned out of an expensive dinner.

JumboJetz · 2022-10-08T04:13:32+00:00

A much longer shelf life to start a family is man’s greatest dating advantage.

Women on PPD try to cite that sperm quality declines a bit because they hate hearing how short their fertility window is in comparison to men. While quality may decline somewhat it’s a dumb point because we don’t have some hard cutoff expiry date like womens fertility. It’s just the truth - men have way longer to find a partner who fits them well and marry and make kids with her.

pinktuliplover · 2022-10-08T06:55:30+00:00

Men often have a head start on dating in teen years. They can step into dating more freely and gain experience before most girls because parents usually care less about their sons virginity than their daughters.

Men get more time. A 35 year old man is seen way different than a 35 year old woman.

Men usually get to “observe their prey.” Because guys usually approach, men can see the woman they want and watch how she moves for a few days before they actually ask her out. It’s an advantage because they can get a glimpse of what the girl is like and know how to approach her. They also get time to prepare their approach whereas women don’t get to prepare because y’all essentially come out of nowhere lol. We probably haven’t been watching you the way you watch us.

Men can make more mistakes. Men can have more failed relationships and higher body counts. It won’t tarnish their reputation to the extent that if would for a woman.

And of course y’all don’t have to worry as much when it comes to creeps, violent partners, and unwanted pregnancies.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-10-08T01:35:01+00:00

I guess never having to really worry about a violent date. That's about it.

Regular-Loser-569 · 2022-10-08T01:39:08+00:00

you don't get bombarded by unwanted DMs and dick pics.

Aubrey_D_Graham · 2022-10-08T01:47:44+00:00

Never before and never again will sex be this liberated. Thats mens advantage.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-10-08T02:32:05+00:00

Considerably less pregnancy risk. Additionally, 70% of people who are supposed to pay child support never pay a penny of it so that risk is limited to a minority as well.

Can grow a beard to hide their flaws and accentuate their assets; most women can't and makeup eventually comes off with exertion, not so a beard.

Dkjustoverit · 2022-10-08T07:00:00+00:00

Men have the biological advantage of being stronger which helps them defend themselves against sick fucks. The only thing I envy about men is how much stronger they are than women. A scrawny man who rarely works out can do great damage to a dedicated sportswoman. Mother Nature fucked us over BIG time. The fear of pregnancy is also another one, being a man affords one the luxury of never having to worry about getting pregnant. Overall, I’m JeLYY AF!

Starter91 · 2022-10-08T09:32:53+00:00

Can't think of any tbh

2022-10-08T09:53:59+00:00

Not in pursuing, but the ancillary stuff.

Fewer people that feel like they can speak on my personal life. For women it's like they have to get the approval of one or more Committees before acting on a dude. My sexuality has lower street value but it's not community property.

Everything related to physical safety, lower STI vulnerability.

Ability to post up somewhere solo and check out the "scenery" without drawing attention--especially as an introvert.

It's harder to get casual sex as a guy, but after 1-2 encounters there is not the instinct to construct my entire life around someone because I had orgasms with them. Many women seem to have no control over this instinct, and I know a few who go slow on casual sex primarily because if it's good they know they will start bringing pies and electronics in response to good dick.

dottywine · 2022-10-08T18:06:17+00:00

There’s also no shortage of women complaining that dating is hard for them. Cest La Vie. Finding your soul mate is hard.

hhhhhhikkmvjjhj · 2022-10-08T18:28:43+00:00

A longer time window for settling down and starting a family. You can do more of sowing oats, investing in your career etc before biological clock times out. For women it’s a hard biological window but for men it’s more about being responsible. (Though I could have children now myself biologically I consider myself to be too old for it, don’t want my children to graduate while I’m dying of old age).

CarHungry · 2022-10-09T03:26:33+00:00

It's kind of like asking "what advantages does an employee have over an employer", it depends on how resourceful an individual is and doesn't really apply in general.

Men are beggars, they have no bargaining power, collectively speaking, I doubt a whole lot of people will deny that.

Dagenius1 · 2022-10-09T16:28:26+00:00

The only advantage a man has is that he ultimately gets to choose which woman he invests his time and money in.

Thats it. Otherwise women hold all the cards

OwOFemboyUwU · 2022-10-09T21:58:02+00:00

The average man? Nothing. The attractive gigachads? Everything.

TaemonDocks · 2022-10-10T21:50:45+00:00

I don't think men have any advantage to be honest.

tonyrehmatdemir · 2022-10-08T01:35:18+00:00

If a woman isn't hot and young, her value to men plummets.

A man's attractiveness/value to women is only partly tied to looks, and not at all tied to youth. This means men have a much more lenient "expiry date", and he can compensate for looks with a whole host of other traits that women love.

A man isn't expected to guard his sexuality.

A man doesn't go on a date and wonder if he'll be in physical danger.

MAGA-Latino · 2022-10-08T05:03:39+00:00

Men have several advantages.

1) men can simply try more. Men don't get slut shamed so they can date more (if they can of course) until they find a winner. Men don't get used like girls do.

2) Men have more time. This is a big one. Men can still be attractive and having fun throughout their 30' and even into their 40's, if they take care of themselves. While women are pretty much finished at 32.

3) Men have more tools to work with. While it seems like a disadvantage at first, it eventually becomes an advantage. Men can hit the gym and become more attractive. Men can make more money and become more attractive. We can get a nicer car, a more prestigious job, or other accomplishments. While women are pretty much stuck what they were born with, aside from plastic surgery.

4) Men are allowed to evolve. Men like Jay-Z can sell Crack and still become respected if they turn it around. While girls like Cardi B would always be an irredeemable hoe.

houstongradengineer · 2022-10-08T02:16:56+00:00

Not being pestered for sex on almost every first meet is one thing men have goin for them, for sure.

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-10-08T17:30:28+00:00

Not having nudes leaked, not being at risk of losing a job or opportunity because of it.
A lot less likely to be touched without consent on the street. Example: was minding my own business, walking to work, when suddenly an individual of the opposite gender jumps and touches my chest.
If they do sx work, they are less likely to be socially ostracised or seen as subhuman.
If a man starts to date a woman (knowing what she is like before), but he starts to try changing her or her habits, he is seen as poor man under the whims of a woman. If a woman starts dating a man and he comes out as abusive, she is the one at fault for not vetting better. *

2022-10-08T08:50:51+00:00

There's not many advantages.

Not having as much pressure from family to date or marry is helpful. Not having as much judgement from friends about who you date is also good.

Having a kid and being a single dad is not a dating death sentence. Being a single mother is probably harder.

Sofia_sticated91 · 2022-10-08T02:08:58+00:00

If you work on yourself and become well above average, you get a buffet of women

63daddy · 2022-10-08T19:54:58+00:00

The advantage men have is they are less reliant on women than the reverse. Most men don’t want or expect a woman to support him financially. Most men can do their own laundry, cook their own meals, etc. Men want a wife, they don’t need one.

If a man doesn’t immediately find the right woman, he can provide for himself of until he does. More men should acknowledge this and not be so quick to give into marriage pressure that’s not in their interest.

supershotmd · 2022-10-08T02:51:21+00:00

Most of the guys I know can't get a girlfriend. I think they're after the handsome guys they see on Tinder.

If you ask them - they say they're willing to wait and be single. Which makes sense for the younger ones. But I've seen some late 20's saying that and I think those are delusional.

Katatonicsnake · 2022-10-08T08:22:09+00:00

Safety. Men kill and assault women more often than women kill and assault men.

Time. Men can try and fail more times, and still get a family.

Bad reputation isn’t as important or damaging. Men here love to complain about how women can have casual sex more easily than they. But if a woman uses that “privilege” (I don’t see it a privilege, casual sex is usually not satisfying for a woman), she’ll be considered as used or emotionally damaged by many people.

darkvalleys · 2022-10-08T03:25:03+00:00

They have several ways to attract women

Physical/safety advantage

Lesser risk of STIs

Zero risk of pregnancy

cloroxfornialove · 2022-10-08T17:11:44+00:00

They're usually harder to kill than women.

fizeekfriday · 2022-10-08T18:51:42+00:00

"Men" as a demographic don't really have any crazy advantage if you're a good person.

If you're "live fast die young" type of guy with no morals, then it's extremely easy. If you put together a facade that's only supposed to last for 2-4 weeks max, you basically already won. Women, contrary to popular belief, DO NOT have built in sensors to detect if you have ulterior motives. You could lie, cheat, steal, get women pregnant, leave the kid, and just be a general piece of shit and there will ALWAYS be women who like "projects" to work on.

If you're a "good man" though and you're actually trying to make something of yourself and make the world a better place? The only real advantage is that once you have your career and finances in order, if you still have some youth in you, you actually have some power with the women you'll get with. You'll still be competing with trust-fund baby drug addicts

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-10-08T01:56:46+00:00

Looks.

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BeepBeepSaysTheJeep · 2022-10-08T05:38:26+00:00

None. They're a dime a dozen.

GloryToChadlantis · 2022-10-08T06:15:22+00:00

It's harder so we value it more

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-10-08T09:13:33+00:00

never have to worry about their body count being too high
considerably safer to meet a stranger, just less creeps in general
physical advantage over their date, if it escalates in the case of rejection/ didn't go well
less time needed to get ready for a date
selectively approaches whom he wants, a woman has to be already pre-chosen
in most cases, the one who asks the girl to become official (when he's ready)
don't have to choose between "having a career" and "having children"
don't have to worry about being impregnated by a stranger

WilliamWyattD · 2022-10-08T10:44:44+00:00

They don't get pregnant and have to nurse infants.

2022-10-08T17:23:17+00:00

THE CALL TO ADVENTURE

Vegetable-Rub3418 · 2022-10-08T21:32:37+00:00

He can set his own destiny. Obviously depending on his looks/money/status. But you get the gist.

H8beingmale · 2022-10-10T23:30:42+00:00

tons of people think it is the aging aspect

Dramatic-Emu-1196 · 2022-10-16T04:47:35+00:00

Time

Title	What advantages does men have in the dating game?
Author	Vegetable-Rub3418
Upvotes	27
Comments	256
Date	October 8, 2022 1:04 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xyff2c/what_advantages_does_men_have_in_the_dating_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-advantages-does-men-have-in-the-dating-game.1134664 https://theredarchive.com/post/1134664

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