🙄 There’s literally no pressure on men because the bar is in hell

Subject_Ticket · 2021-04-10T22:24:15+00:00

So much gaslighting. "If you really love the person..."

AnniaT · 2021-04-10T22:14:38+00:00

Why can't a person have both?

meetme__atsunset · 2021-04-10T22:15:34+00:00

I love how these takes always assume it's an either/or proposition: either the man spends thousands on the rings/wedding, leaving the couple destitute, or they can spend those funds on the couple's lifestyle instead.

I'm single, and I can afford: my bills, my own place, my pet, retirement, rings, designer bags, vacations, and more. And I only make $55K USD!

It's not matter of women wanting too much, it's a matter of men wanting to do so little. If you can't afford a ring, a wedding, and to contribute to a nice home/lifestyle with your wife then you have no business being in a relationship- let alone getting married. Sort your life out.

LevellingUpTime · 2021-04-10T23:29:58+00:00

That pick-me in the last slide. Girl, you've already got your cheap-ass husband, why are you out here trying to snatch up all the other hobos with tales of your not-like-other-girls clumsiness?

quarterlyavocado · 2021-04-10T22:32:58+00:00

Notice how the alternative (house, vacation, etc.) is something the man also uses and enjoys while an engagement ring would be hers alone. “Don’t buy your wife a gift that she’ll get to enjoy for herself, instead allow her the privilege of sharing her gift with you!”

FeelLikeRollinDice · 2021-04-10T22:11:07+00:00

My parents did not have an expensive weddings. Why? Because they were young, broke, and their families were too poor to pay for a wedding. Please believe my dad got my mom a very nice wedding ring though!

Not only would I not stand for a man not buying me an expensive ring or having a nice wedding, my parents would be pissed! I have zero intentions of having an extravagant wedding, but I will not be having a backyard or justice of the peace wedding either.

Many times over I have seen men spend $$$ on expensive wedding rings because they want their soon-to-be wife to have the best they can offer. A friend of mine recently got married. When they were browsing rings, she kept wanting something smaller. Her now husband refused! He wanted her to have best, most shiniest ring he could afford because he knew she deserved it.

Men will spend a fortune on cars, games, hobbies, vacations with their friends, but somehow get frugal when it comes to weddings. Please!

There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting nice things and the best out of life!

Side note: I hate the idea of trying to make women feel bad for pressuring men to do the right thing. Somehow they can handle pressure in every other area of life, but heaven forbid a woman pressure a man to come correct in a relationship! Pressure either makes diamonds or busts pipes. Ladies, always assess whether you have a diamond or busted pipe.

I need to stop typing before I rant even more. hahaha

The attitude in that post makes me so mad.

2021-04-10T23:43:35+00:00

I don’t even want a ring, given I don’t ever wear jewelry but the issue isn’t the ring itself. Much like the commenter almost understood, it’s very much like a down payment on a house. Rings still matter because they show someone is willing to commit enough to significantly invest something they find important (such as money) into the other person. Sure it also stands for vows, but plenty of people break vows. Not so many spend thousands of dollars on temporary relationships.

You get to share the house, a pet, etc. A ring is a specific investment into your partner, and therefore into a marriage. That’s why it matters. :)

DisastrousSundae · 2021-04-11T00:02:03+00:00

This has nothing to do with saving money or financial literacy. They hate the idea of spending any sort of money toward making a woman happy. If it doesn't immediately benefit them, it is a waste in their eyes.

adalovelace1793--- · 2021-04-10T22:34:01+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Objective_Ad7771 · 2021-04-10T22:26:55+00:00

Yeah I'll take both thanks - financial stability and a nice ring + wedding. Can't meet that criteria? Don't expect me to stick around.

Apprehensive_Ad_7917 · 2021-04-11T00:22:10+00:00

Oh look, it’s the same old tactic we see all the time! Ladies, remember, there are NEVER only two options. This is how false dichotomy works and it’s a powerful manipulation tool. Do not fall for it.

cherrypollen · 2021-04-11T00:29:14+00:00

I hate this so much. God forbid I want a ring (that I have to wear everyday) to not turn my hand green or give me a rash. God forbid I want to be proud of a gift my husband got me and show it off. I don’t need some 2 karat gaudy ass ring, but I won’t settle for onion rings, cereal box prize rings, or whatever bullshit trash pickmes say they’re ok with symbolizing their “lifelong” commitment

Aocwannabe · 2021-04-10T23:50:52+00:00

“Tales of your- not- like- other girls clumsiness”...the book nobody wants to read. Other than 🤡🤡🤡.

working-girl- · 2021-04-10T22:59:27+00:00

Why would it even be a bad idea to buy a ring? If it’s not within your means buy something that shows you care or is a good design for a good price. And even if you buy something expensive you can always pawn it in hard times.

My dad buys me gold jewelry because he says I’m giving you something valuable that will remind you of me and that you can use in a hard time if needed.

DallasOMalley · 2021-04-10T23:41:10+00:00

A man with a decent income, one who can manage his money, will be able to afford a nice engagement ring AND a down payment on a house. I know this because my ex husband was one of these men. He wasn't making 6 figures, but he was careful with his money. Oh, and not once did he whine about paying for the ring or the house. And he's definitely NOT broke.

So, if someone says buying a nice engagement ring = being broke, I'd say that person is either crap with money, or needs a better job. And they definitely shouldn't be getting married until they fix their money issues.

atreegrowsinbrixton · 2021-04-10T23:48:21+00:00

I just don’t get it. My husband bought me a nice engagement ring. We had a nice wedding and a nice honeymoon. We own a home. We have good savings and investments. We are not in debt. It is not either/or.

chateauduchat · 2021-04-11T00:50:10+00:00

If I have to wear the damn ring until the day that I die, it better be nice. And many a stupid redditor forgets that traditionally rings are supposed to be insurance for the woman in case the engagement falls through.

2021-04-11T02:25:48+00:00

People love bringing up marriages breaking up over finances but if you can’t afford an engagement ring don’t get married. None of these men complaining about engagement rings should be getting married because imagine when they have kids, own a home, own cars, etc. 🙄

KAT_85 · 2021-04-11T05:01:03+00:00

My husband was a broke 19 year old college student when he proposed to me. He used the money he’d saved working as a cashier at a local grocery to buy me a ring that cost 1100 in the early 2000s. It’s still nice today and I wear it. Sometime we’ll upgrade it, but if he can make the effort (he’s very money conscious) these guys can too

souredskittles · 2021-04-11T00:00:09+00:00

Lmao. These guys working at target think that the men I date will be broke after buying me a ring.

If a man cant shell out a bit of money for a ring you should ask yourself if he’s even in the position to have a family.

idiosyncraticg1 · 2021-04-11T01:12:42+00:00

If you don’t shop at Tiffany’s, you can get a very nice ring with a decent diamond for like $5k. Lots of rings cost a lot just for the brand name, so if you buy a no name brand then you can get a nice rock and gorgeous band for that amount. And let me remind you that this ring should last a lifetime (just like your marriage). So the bride AND GROOM should not be getting cheap $100 rings.

Maybe it’s because I live in a high CoL area, but $5k is meaningless where I live. You cannot put it towards a house. You can pretty much just invest it in the stock market.

If I am going to wear something for the next 40+ years, I want a good quality ring which will not turn my finger green. Didn’t know this was too much to ask for nowadays!!

What happened with saving up 3 months of salary for the ring? Even if you’re making $15/hr, that’s around $6k over 3 months.

aquietsword · 2021-04-11T05:07:59+00:00

Or do yourselves one better ladies: buy yourself a nice ass ring, throw yourself a nice ass party, and if you don't get married at all you'll save massive amounts of money in the long term. Every dollar you spend on a scrote is a dollar lost. Every meal you cook for him and the laundry of his that you do is an opportunity cost. Taking care of the children he will absolutely pressure you to have is a career hit. I've seen more men drop their debt onto a woman than the opposite. The hit your mental health will take when married to a scrote is time and money. Men are expensive and they are leeches but they don't even look the part. It's like paying a premium to shop at the thrift store. The pickme women out there are essentially fighting for used underwear from goodwill and willing to pay. We're in a bubble, men are overfuckingvalued.

hakunnamatatamfs · 2021-04-11T08:36:04+00:00

Pssh.

One of my best friends is a guy who's about to propose soon to his gf, he was telling us about how he went to see rings to Tifanny bc he wants something really nice for his gf, he's hiring an event planner bc wants his proposal to be something really special for his gf.

When a man want to do it, he'll show it.

_queeeen_ · 2021-04-11T01:00:37+00:00

I want both. The house I’ll work towards buying on my own. The ring will be his fabulous gift to me, if I ever meet that HVM.

2021-04-11T01:14:28+00:00

So much words to say 'I'm a miser'

deudeo · 2021-04-11T14:39:19+00:00

The one dude saying “where are the hyper chill women?” Translation: where are the women who will accept my bullshit?

Ill_Entrepreneur_704 · 2021-04-11T00:10:41+00:00

I wonder how many of them would start complaining about the house expense down the road too.

laurencetrishburn · 2021-04-11T08:03:49+00:00

My ex would say he didn't have the money for a ring but would shamlessly spend 100s of dollars on video game consoles, and the latest phones and TV.

What I'm saying is, if he wanted to buy you the ring, he would. If he doesn't, he will go to his grave conjuring up the shittiest excuses.

greenbagmaria · 2021-04-11T08:46:25+00:00

Oh my god I was just there.... the number of people that claim to love cheap rings is off the charts.

bizzybumblebee · 2021-04-11T12:34:16+00:00

my worst nightmare is dating someone and they propose to me with what i think is a verrrrrry nice ring only to find out they went to walmart 😭😭😭

waddamelone · 2021-04-11T12:50:09+00:00

I remember reading threads and threads about women being proposed to with pandora rings. And people would get angry at me for laughing at them.

I was supposed to appreciate the gesture, be mindful of men not having money and doing the best they could, be happy men even WANT to get married BLABLABLA. Girl, BYE! I would never accept that nonsense.

I want to live more than comfortably. Want to live lavish. Being with a grown ass man who had a job and his own house, means he should have fucking money. Someone who‘s stingy and cheap does not match my needs.

frostedgemstone · 2021-04-11T11:14:58+00:00

I don’t care how people perceive me, I won’t fall for this or ever feel bad about having standards about a great quality ring. This is just libfem propaganda, they actively want to take away every single source of benefit for women

Street_Narwhal_3361 · 2021-04-11T05:51:54+00:00

You can get great stuff from Costco. What a jag.

adalovelace1793--- · 2021-04-11T08:27:30+00:00

I dont want to offend anyone but personally I think that all the man and woman getting married now during a pandemic with harsh restrictions on attendancy,ie for meetings and wedding parties, signal to LVM. I will marry big and and bold or none at all!

wagonwheel_ · 2021-04-10T23:52:49+00:00

Unpopular opinion maybe but I am anti expensive ring and expensive wedding.

HOWEVER, this does not mean I will settle for a broke man. I’m not talking about a get-out-of-spending-money card. I want that 30k-50k for a down payment on an investment property IN MY NAME instead. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

sassyheather · 2021-04-11T10:10:32+00:00

If he loves me, he’ll get me the ring I want. If I love him, I won’t require a ring that would empty his bank account.

HlGHFIVE · 2021-04-11T10:04:56+00:00

They'll stay long enough to get laid. Then when it's ring time all his effort will be gone like a hot fart in the wind.

I love the Pick-Me chasing validation from an E-Scrote in the last pick.

I personally would not want a ring which was created from unethical practices... but I'd be happy with something ethically sourced and still beautiful.

throwaway32132134 · 2021-04-11T15:05:07+00:00

So, I don't want a big wedding. I realistically would elope, if I ever decided to get married. I've always been a private person and I prefer small intimate ceromonies. That being said, that's MY preference. Just like someone wanting a big wedding is THEIR preference. There's nothing wrong with either choice. I'm so tired of men/pickmes shoving down their preferences down women's throats. The point is not big or small, expensive or not. The point is MAKING YOUR PARTNER HAPPY AND SHOWING HER RESPECT. WHAT A SHOCKING REVELATION. Stop raining on women's parade because it's not your preference.

EDIT: Just saw this wonderful comment 🙃

When my husband went to find my engagement ring, I told him if he spent over $150 I was going to call it off. He found me a beautiful white sapphire ring, that was on sale for $89. We picked out wedding bands that were $75 (his) & $99 (mine). Worn it every day for the past 10 years, & get compliments on my ring all the time.

See what I mean? That's great for you. Does that mean I need to be happy with a 150 dollar ring? No. I'm a different person and allowed to want different things. There are a bunch of pickmes in the comments getting praise for being "frugal" btw.

2021-04-11T16:40:10+00:00

Men are so fucking entitled 🤮

so_lost_im_faded · 2021-04-11T18:59:14+00:00

Him: Buying a $500 ring is a waste of money!
Also him: buys a $3000 gaming set
Also him: buys a $4000 motorbike

muricaxoxo · 2021-04-12T02:25:22+00:00

Haha why not both??? A nice wedding/rings and a house cos you both saved while younger, are financially stable and can afford both. It's so trash to shame other people's wants just cos you're unable to provide 💅 I just went to the beautiful wedding of a friend who bought a house with her husband before the wedding and still had a gorgeous wedding! They aren't even super wealthy, just normal careers

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2021-04-11T16:17:26+00:00

Men like this will sleep on the same dirty sheets and yellowed pillow for years. I won't be taking advice from them about what I "need" and what I can "do without" thankyouverymuch.

Same with women who are "scared to have anything expensive". I hear that bullshit so often. Can you imagine having so little self esteem that you don't even believe you are worthy of having stuff that MOST people do throughout their lifetime like getting an engagement ring or a decent car? Diamonds are the hardest mineral on earth, and insurance is a thing. If you break your e-ring somehow, the insurance company will replace it.

Heather619 · 2021-04-11T02:18:37+00:00

I'm ready for the downvotes.... I agree on this one, for me personally, because I don't like wearing rings. I'm also incredibly clumsy and break things, so I don't like spending money on anything too expensive 😂

I've always said that I'd rather have a down payment for a house or car, or a nice payment toward student loans in lieu of a ring. But again, this is my personal preference. Not saying every woman should abide by that. If you like rings, get the ring.

Title	🙄 There’s literally no pressure on men because the bar is in hell
Author	shinyjewels
Upvotes	296
Comments	86
Date	April 10, 2021 9:53 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/modwmh/theres_literally_no_pressure_on_men_because_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/theres-literally-no-pressure-on-men-because-the.1189110 https://theredarchive.com/post/1189110

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