Women of Reddit, how do you want to be approached if you’re single and looking to date?

gofigure62 · 2022-07-27T21:47:05+00:00

I'd like a guy to just introduce himself, make small talk about mutual interests and ask me out if there's a connection. Don't be an asshole if I say no, and don't be overbearing if I say yes. Just be normal.

When I approach men I just introduce myself or ask a question and segue from there.

DannyRicFan4Lyfe · 2022-07-27T23:24:50+00:00

The biggest thing is gentlemanliness and politeness. Like just be casual, strike up a friendly convo and if it feels like we are vibing, ask to meet for a coffee. And if she says no without skipping a beat just be decent and polite about it instead of making her feel scared or uncomfortable to tell you no

januaryphilosopher · 2022-07-27T21:03:30+00:00

Just ask me out politely. Other than that I don't really care. That's enough of a fantasy concept on its own.

flash13131313 · 2022-07-27T21:24:10+00:00

Depends on the guy. He sees me in a bookstore picking up something he’s interested in? Yes.

He’s running “day game” asking out every women who walks down the street? Scary.

Noodles_R · 2022-07-27T21:29:03+00:00

Depends how it’s done.

Sometimes I’ve seen a guy I’ve liked the look of and we’ve smiled at each other and then he’s come over. That’s fun, because although it’s kind of a cold approach there’s groundwork there.

I dislike it if someone approaches that I’ve clearly avoided looking at or getting close to.

Generally though, in the street, gym, shop is fine if it’s done politely, they aren’t too invasive in your space and have a reason for asking you out. Just, oh you’re hot, doesn’t cut it.

chilumibrainrot · 2022-07-28T03:17:29+00:00

i'd like someone to go up to me, say something along the lines of "hey you're cute, can i have your number?" and then after getting it (or not getting it if im not attracted to them) walk away and let me do whatever i was doing in public. i'll text them when i get home. just be polite.

sarkington · 2022-07-28T01:45:56+00:00

By men I already know, not strangers

shockedpikachu123 · 2022-07-27T21:45:14+00:00

I respond pretty well when a guy notices something on me other than my looks like my outfit. For example, I’m a huge sneaker head and when someone notices my sneakers , I know we speak the same language/similar interests.

Don’t do well to guys who come up to me saying “hey you’re pretty cute! Give me your Instagram. We should go out some time!”

BitsAndBobs304 · 2022-07-27T21:47:56+00:00

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itm4l2000 · 2022-07-27T21:38:57+00:00

Once you see it you can't unsee it.

If a woman is loitering around you in a public place and her body position is facing you, there is a good possibility she wants you to approach her.

If you work or socialise with her, she'll do all the work to approach you.

2022-07-27T23:59:20+00:00

For me, personally, I would approach if I was interested. I've done it before.

A stranger cold approaching me is pretty much a no-go right away because I have a strong feeling they're playing the numbers game, or they're just basing it off my looks, which isn't the best gauge for who I really am. It will always be a "no", for me. I don't think most men would like the flavor of person I am because it's pretty heavy on the edgy bisexual with a dash of femdom. It's niche; I try to spare them wasting their time on me since chances are we're not compatible.

If it's someone where we've had several casual conversations or banter before, let's say a barista or coworker or something, and he were to ask me with a simple, "Would you want to go out sometime? We could maybe grab drinks or coffee if you're down. If not, I totally understand." Just polite and clean and giving the out to decline if needed. If yes, exchange numbers, etc. If no, continue on like normal.

Charles_Himself_ · 2022-07-28T02:43:47+00:00

I can only have romantic feelings for someone if there’s a basis of friendship first so please no strangers asking me out

honeydewmelonz · 2022-07-28T02:48:50+00:00

I like simple. Friendly. Just come up to me and comment on something. I’m chatty so I’d think he’s starting a conversation with me. After we chat a little. I will tell him to take my number, or he can tell me. Then we say gtg bye and we will text or call later that day.

it_ch3rry · 2022-07-28T09:24:47+00:00

Serenaded duh.. or spank my butt and buy me French fries

2022-07-28T11:43:41+00:00

In social venues, just chat about the common interest. The band, the comedian, the movie, the food.

Outside of social venues? No phony excuses to talk. No pretending you can’t find something, no pretending you just happened to be in the same space when women already noticed you stalking around in search of a mark. If you can’t manage organic small talk, you can try a compliment, but there are no guarantees it will be welcome.

AnUnstableNucleus · 2022-07-27T21:14:46+00:00

Stop asking for a guide. Go up and ask her out.

BitsAndBobs304 · 2022-07-27T20:59:29+00:00

I like to know a guy somewhat before he approaches me for a date. I usually stick to guys from classes, church, or my social group.

Charles_Himself_ · 2022-07-27T21:53:39+00:00

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know you're pretty and I love that show on your t-shirt, here's my number if you ever wanna go get coffee"

Put the ball in her court and walk away. Be casual and confident, and not overtly invested. I'm a total stranger, don't act like you're planning our marriage in your head, it's weird

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-07-27T22:06:27+00:00

If I am working, on public transit, reading, or listening to something on headphones, please abide by common decency and don't interrupt me.

If we are doing an activity together, watching and reacting to a game together at a bar, at a dating-type place like a night club, challenge me to something stupid and harmless but interesting (dad joke contest, best quote from the worst movie, guessing the color shirt of the next person to walk into the club). Compliment my style or accessories or t-shirt I'm wearing if you genuinely find it cool, not my body shape or how pleasing my face is to you, please.

Charles_Himself_ · 2022-07-27T23:39:38+00:00

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pearllovespink · 2022-07-28T00:37:08+00:00

I’m not picky at all. Just be polite.

dottywine · 2022-07-28T01:18:29+00:00

Just approach the way you approach anyone you’re being friendly too. You absolutely must also acknowledge and respect anyone I may be out with, too. Just be pleasant but also don’t beat around the bush too much. Make your intentions clear within a minute or two.

CatchPhraze · 2022-07-28T01:25:27+00:00

At a socialy appropriately setting or on a dating themed activity. Never anywhere else. Certainly not while I'm working. Hate that.

Stephanieninn87 · 2022-07-28T02:00:04+00:00

I respond best when a guy says hello, introduces himself, asks how my day/evening is going, maybe chat about the place we are in, the drink or food I ordered. Let the conversation go from there. At a point ask I would be interested in going out sometime.

I love being asked out in person and typically say yes if they are polite, well groomed, good hygiene and carry’s themselves well.

If you smell, bad breathe, wearing dirty clothes and aggressive- I would kindly decline.

2022-07-28T05:02:39+00:00

i would run away if a man approached me in public

fdthbfdghj · 2022-07-28T07:10:42+00:00

I do not

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-07-28T14:26:19+00:00

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pinktuliplover · 2022-07-27T22:04:10+00:00

Find a random reason to start a conversation with me.

Chat, make me laugh, catch my vibe for a few minutes.

Ask for my number.

Start texting me that night.

Ask me on a date within 3 days.

ConstanceVigilante · 2022-07-27T21:58:29+00:00

Talk to me about things I'm interested in, have a decent conversation, don't comment on my appearance or give any fake compliments whatsoever. Don't give real compliments either -- you genuinely can't do that with someone you've just met.

Then I'll probably ask you out myself.

neolib-cowboy · 2022-07-28T00:05:35+00:00

I am not a woman, but let me some up the answers: "Yes, but only if they're respectful and take "no" well, and only if I am in a certain place, and only if I am in a certain mood, which basically means never."

(These are the same women who complain on 2XC about men constantly approaching them, but also fail to mention that is how they met their BF)

2022-07-28T01:36:59+00:00

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Best_Illustrator_137 · 2022-07-28T02:17:30+00:00

Lol don’t do this shit in 2022 fellas 😂

AnOddTree · 2022-07-28T11:26:12+00:00

When I was 25 I decided I would only date someone I had known for at least a year already. Spent 5 years being single and now I'm in a great relationship. I knew my partner for 2 years prior to getting romantically involved with him.

QueenofSex1 · 2022-07-27T23:18:03+00:00

Dating and marriage doesn’t benefit women. If it did women would be thrilled to be approached by men asking them out on dates in hopes of maybe marriage or if most women found dating very pleasant just a date.

Obviously women must subconsciously associate dating and marriage with male exploitation and abuse.

Me and my female friends all despise when men approach us in public asking us out on dates.

For a man to understand what it’s like….how you would feel if some disgusting creepy vagrant came up to you begging for money? Or trying to game/scam you with B.S. Like uhhh my car ran outta gas can I have $20 bucks. You would be grossed out and wonder why they targeted you. You wouldn’t be flattered like ohhh I must look rich! Everyone’s asking me for money I must look like I’m loaded……

ProfessorFelix0812 · 2022-07-28T02:49:48+00:00

Step 1: Walk up and introduce yourself.

Step 2: Start a conversation.

Step 3: If she looks annoyed, she wouldn’t go out with you if you were the last member of the male species left on the planet. If this is the case, find a polite way to end the conversation, and then leave her alone. Don’t be a dick about it.

Step 4: If she engages, continue the conversation. Ask her some questions. Make the conversation about her.

Step 5: If she still seems interested, ask her if she’d like to get a cup of coffee sometime. If she says yes, get her contact info.

Step 6: If the answer is no, be a man about it, and politely dismiss yourself. Don’t be a dick about it. She just wasn’t the one for you. Being a dick about it just makes you look like a manchild, and accomplishes nothing more than making her think you are a hamster, and she definitely made the right decision by having nothing to do with you.

Step 7: If you are a gentleman when you walk away, if you see her again in the future, you may get another shot at that cup of coffee. If you were a dick about it, she’s going to make it her main mission in life to tell every other female she knows.

2022-07-28T04:18:07+00:00

Like a normal human being. Just be polite.

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Federal_Bat_5355 · 2022-07-28T16:03:37+00:00

Pick-up lines. Tasteful, non-dirty ones. It shows me a guy is sorta silly and likes to put themselves out there. Plus, they're funny imo.

Other than that... talking about a passion maybe? Nerding out is fine if they don't make the topic last too long and if I'm allowed to ask questions. People just light up when they talk about their passions and I find that quite nice.

Title	Women of Reddit, how do you want to be approached if you’re single and looking to date?
Author	Charles_Himself_
Upvotes	45
Comments	273
Date	July 27, 2022 8:48 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/w9pkej/women_of_reddit_how_do_you_want_to_be_approached/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-of-reddit-how-do-you-want-to-be-approached.1209245 https://theredarchive.com/post/1209245

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