She’s moving on

Alatornio · 2023-05-30T18:08:55+00:00

Why are you thinking about it in the first place. You dont focus on her.

ZERO.

ABBucsfan · 2023-05-30T18:24:36+00:00

I prefer to think another poor sucker is being snared...

Patriot0811 · 2023-05-30T18:57:00+00:00

Gym. Get jacked and simply upgrade.

david10277 · 2023-05-30T18:08:51+00:00

Thought dont go away...they get replaced

Find something else to keep you busy

Do things that make you happy

If your Sitting around doing nothing- that's all you gonna think about.

CRobinsFly · 2023-05-30T18:17:06+00:00

You're going to be replaced. It is the inevitable part of what happens in divorce and breakups. It's frequently said here that if a woman can fog a mirror, she can find a new dick, and it's true! Women inherently have the advantage in finding a new partner in the short term, as it has been proven many of then have a plan B guy to replace you at the ready. It happens.

So. You know what you get to do? While it may take some time, replace her! Or don't! You are going to need to accept it was just your turn with her. Use your pain and emotions to do something constructive for yourself, go to the gym, learn a new hobby, get a vasectomy. You'll be feeling better before you know it.

bussanutndip · 2023-05-30T19:29:04+00:00

Yeah man, I’m in the same boat. I actually heard them on the baby monitor and it broke me. Still working on trying to let it pass. This is something I learned. Pussy is only yours when you’re in it and nothings ever real or truly yours. It was just your turn and your turn is over.

the-don-carlo · 2023-05-30T21:17:22+00:00

Millions of pussies in this world and you’re worried about one. Ooooh Seriously though , you’ll look back on this and laugh sooner than you think , especially if you start tapping some new minge. Deffo don’t let her see you stressing it

Long-Review-1861 · 2023-05-30T18:19:57+00:00

I always told myself with any girl I was seeing "she got fucked before you and she will get fucked after you"... it is what it is, The pain and jealousy will dissipate with time. Next year this time she will be barely a passing thought.

coffeefrog92 · 2023-05-30T19:22:57+00:00

Don't know if Patrice O'Neil is respected around here, but he used to swing and he would watch his girl 'have relations' with some other guy. He said it helped destroy his ego.

Now, I don't advocate for that at all, but I think there's a lesson there. This may be unconventional, but next time you get that feeling, maybe you just sit down and feel it fully. Watch the images play out, feel how it makes your gut sick, and then watch it pass.

I think if you do that 10 times, it will start to affect you less and less until its nothing.

Its gonna happen to me anytime soon, and I'm going to try this for myself when the inevitable arrives.

Praying for you to find strength, bro.

ranger69danger · 2023-05-30T22:37:59+00:00

That P had other D before U and her nasty self is not your problem any longer.

I promise you, in genuine honest belief, that there exist many better women, individual women of higher quality/caliber/decency/humanity/fuckability than your ex.

She is just one.

Do you think your ancestors brought you here to fixate about some B on some other D?

idiskfla · 2023-05-30T23:14:49+00:00

Best thing you can do is stay incredibly busy while on a path toward self-improvement.

Idle time is the worst when you’re single after an ex leaves you (at least it’s been for me), esp when she wanted the divorce, not you.

Just fill up your calendar as much as you can so that you’re exhausted by the time you go to bed.

I actually don’t think about her sleeping with someone else intimately (she was a selfish lover). I actually thought about that more when we were together (her exes)

What I think about is all the time I invested in our relationship, and that’s what hurts. I’ve had to pick up new hobbies because my old ones reminded me of her (since we did everything together).

So I just stay busy.

ciscokid12345 · 2023-05-30T23:20:13+00:00

get a couple nice hookers and have your first threesome. do really dirty things to them. if you’re still thinking about your ex wife’s sex life you should have another threesome.

in other words, the only reason you are thinking about her sex life is because you don’t have anything interesting to think about with your own sex life.

anecdotally, i stopped thinking about my ex after i slept with a girl 15 years younger than me who had purple hair and pierced nipples. you should try that too

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-05-31T00:43:55+00:00

At least she’s your ex-wife. A lot of ours were having sex with other guys while they were still out wives.

1Cobbler · 2023-05-31T03:23:02+00:00

What helped me was to realise that the woman I loved doesn't really exist and she was just a facade over the narcissist that threw our life away to go play with other women. A decision I suspect she regrets now, but hasn't owned up to yet.

I was in love with a fantasy of a woman and a relationship I was never going to get.

MoxOmega · 2023-05-31T04:54:22+00:00

It sucks, and we feel for ya brother. But, sadly she isn’t thinking about you or your feelings. She stopped giving a damn about you the moment she decided to go play hide the dick with another guy.

Don’t go begging her to come back, all she will do is die laughing on the inside then go have a bigger laugh with her new dude while he’s telling her to bend over.

All you can do, find things to fill that void of time, and I promise you … this time next year, she’ll be a thing of the past. Remember, you reap what you sow in this world. Maybe not today or tomorrow, hell not even 6-12 months from now, but one day, it’ll come back to her and then she’ll feel the pain you have now.

Fun-Possible7676 · 2023-05-30T18:18:27+00:00

Have you tried the new Legend of Zelda game? Find things that fill your time. I have the same thoughts too but only when I sit down alone in a quiet area/time with nothing to do.

heartless_monk · 2023-05-30T20:55:49+00:00

It’s going to take time man.

After time, it won’t even matter to you.

Hang in there.

Spiritual_Self_7181 · 2023-05-30T22:36:18+00:00

Same here. I’m incredibly broken and so angry with myself for not trying harder and being a better man. I’m so ashamed and full of regret I can barely stand it. I know how you feel and I’m so sorry you’re going through it also.

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2023-05-30T22:46:21+00:00

You are probably in the denial stage right now. once you move to the grievance stage you can move on after that. It will take time it just depends on the person but we have all been there brother,stay strong

CB33isGMC · 2023-05-31T01:25:45+00:00

Let yourself feel the pain man. You can’t run from it. You’re human.

The depth of pain and emotions I felt during that time made my life so much richer. I had been comfortably numb for so long.

Cry, shout, beg, do whatever you need to do - in private.

Over time you will build up calluses to those types of thoughts.

It just takes time.

Runningoutofbacon · 2023-05-31T02:05:50+00:00

Sit with the pain as long as you can, don't try to numb it with drugs or alcohol. The only way past the pain is through it.

georeddit2018 · 2023-05-30T20:42:41+00:00

Time and been busy with other things will keep your mind off her. Accept it and it is what it is.

Timbers-creek · 2023-05-30T23:03:45+00:00

I fought this battle for a few months, but I eventually focused on why she wanted the divorce in the first place. She wanted her AP more than me. It has been easier as the time goes on, enough for me to date again. My energy is on me & no one else now.

INeverSaidThat89 · 2023-05-31T02:30:00+00:00

That's her deal, not yours. Don't drive yourself crazy or to drink thinking about her.

While it's hard to imagine, unless you are becoming a priest, you'll also have sex one day with another woman. It will be great. Think of one hang-up your ex had and hope the new one loves it! GL mate. You're not alone

Flapique · 2023-05-31T04:03:18+00:00

Well just f****** level up bro do what you got to do to get jacked and emotionally intelligent and you will land a fine ass woman that will make her ass jealous forever. Even if you think that was the best you can do, you are wrong and telling yourself a lie. There are plenty of women out there looking for a fit emotionally adjusted man go be those things and they will come to you.

ApprehensiveStudy671 · 2023-06-02T13:11:02+00:00

Have fun and have sex with other women. The best way to forget her.

Key_Preference_4594 · 2023-05-31T12:21:58+00:00

Have sex with other women and make heaps of money. Nothing to feel better than living 10x better with 100x more money than before. That’s me and a friend.

When wife left me I had like $1-1.5m. Now I have $10m+, have kid with someone in her early 20s in Japan. So good.

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2023-05-30T18:48:50+00:00

Just take it day by day until it starts to fade. In the meantime try and keep busy hopefully date and try to do positive things

Diablo_Canyon2 · 2023-05-30T20:04:22+00:00

Let her disappoint someone else in the bedroom for once.

Third_Eye78 · 2023-05-30T21:50:33+00:00

Focus your thoughts elsewhere. You too, will be getting laid soon so it’s all good bro

Any-Dare-7261 · 2023-05-30T22:12:52+00:00

So my wife was fucking some guy in front of my two kids two days after we separated. He’s a coward that carries a gun 24/7 when he’s wrecking homes. Otherwise, I’d shake the pussy’s hand and tell him “Thanks for taking out my trash!”

awesomelybearded · 2023-05-30T23:00:36+00:00

Not your problem anymore.

BabyYoda55 · 2023-05-31T00:36:27+00:00

It does take time. That was my biggest fear for a while. It goes away, especially if you can get some action. 😁. You are not alone in that feeling, especially if things ended somewhat amicably.

OchoZeroCinco · 2023-05-31T00:49:43+00:00

Have sex with another woman

Bipolar_investor · 2023-05-31T02:15:09+00:00

She's not yours, it was your turn Everything is in your hands 💪

Fyfel · 2023-05-31T03:18:45+00:00

We all felt that way at one time, I was no exception that thought would make me sick to my stomach. Now 2 years post divorce I’m giving my ex high fives and wishing her luck on her dates lol. I genuinely mean it to.

I now know we are better coparents than romantic partners and had she not left I wouldn’t have dated some of the amazing women that I have or currently am. It takes time though no way around it just gotta go through it. Hobbies and exercise help.

dadplup · 2023-05-31T09:35:52+00:00

As men, we are not supposed to show emotion, which makes women believe that we don't have any, but we do, and because we keep them bottled up, they get stronger and more intense , more difficult to deal with so getting rid of them is not easy and it takes time, but it can be done, it hurts that's for sure

Although I'm blocked on social media from my exwife i still see what she's doing, what's going on in her life not because i want to gloat or because im stalking her i just wanted to know, would i take her back or want her back? No, it took years, and all the strength i had to say enough is enough and divorce her, i dont think i have the strength to deal with it again i still care, but I know that she doesn't

Focus on your life now, not hers, accept that there is nothing you can do to prevent her from moving on, and find a way to move on yourself after that the images in your head will begin to fade away until they are gone, good luck to you

Key_Preference_4594 · 2023-05-31T12:20:57+00:00

Have sex with other women

Adventurous_Wrap_343 · 2023-05-31T12:26:17+00:00

It was t yours it was just your turn

No_Photograph6200 · 2023-05-31T14:57:09+00:00

I had the same experience (it's very common). It was constant.

I recommend watching this video: https://youtu.be/7Pb2lCfW46Y

I thought about it a couple more times after, but thinking about the video and using the techniques in it helped tremendously. I haven't thought about it much since, and when I do it's fleeting and not devastating.

Title	She’s moving on
Author	Due-Tomorrow-780
Upvotes	11
Comments	75
Date	May 30, 2023 6:02 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/13vxcd7/shes_moving_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/shes-moving-on.1220783 https://theredarchive.com/post/1220783

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