I slept with my stbxw

Cowfootstew · 2023-07-19T01:57:04+00:00

NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo...............!!!

Sea-Mission-6316 · 2023-07-19T02:11:13+00:00

She is setting you up. Spousal support is indentured servitude. No one should have to work to pay for their ex to sit around and do nothing. OP, you are in a fight. Don't be nice and let her walk all over you. Gray rock her.

Beneficial-Win-5269 · 2023-07-19T02:21:14+00:00

"I'm pretty sure none of us hooked up with anyone else" speak for yourself 95% of them go out to test out the water and when they can't find better doormat, ATM or sex they try to lure you back in. Especially in a smart way where you actually think "it kind of happened spontaneously". Man up bro don't get played. Go out and have fun. If you are not good at hook ups then go on bumble BFF and go out and make new male friends, some of them might be really interesting or sign up for local sports league and play basketball, tenis, soccer, volleyball. You should be the one playing her and not be the one being played

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2023-07-19T01:46:19+00:00

Ugh.

You don’t know what she’s done or hasn’t done. She’s not your friend. She’s manipulating you. Cut her loose. Don’t look back.

You’re her plan b

research002019 · 2023-07-19T02:15:56+00:00

OP please listen to the comments.

This will not end in reconciliation or fwb situation, I promise you.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2023-07-19T04:09:58+00:00

Poor choices and great sex…the story of life

Ptsdveterannavy · 2023-07-19T02:24:12+00:00

All I can say is "Man What"?

ww3historian · 2023-07-19T03:55:09+00:00

She’s going to make this the separation date. Get tested for STDs

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2023-07-19T05:55:46+00:00

Make 100% certain you don’t impregnate it - else this turns from Hell on Regular to Hell on Legendary difficulty level. They do that … on purpose 💵 💃

Danno5367 · 2023-07-19T03:17:03+00:00

Boy, I say boy, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. Cut the cord go NC and move on.

Brief_Wonderer · 2023-07-19T10:45:48+00:00

Nine months later, OP is back in the chat, my ex-wife tricked me into busting in her, and now I’m paying child support

JustTheSpecsPlease · 2023-07-19T03:23:12+00:00

Be careful, man. Just protect yourself.

jkw118 · 2023-07-19T05:19:57+00:00

So sex makes it so she can say you were back together, and Made up in court/legally. so that year doesn't exist. So im assuming she's saying your date of separation was more recent..extending the marriage.

Depending on how long you were married that can put you over thresholds depending on the state, to dramatically extend spousal support.

So one way to deal with this is to ask her if she really wants to get back together for the long term.. and set an actual commitment. I mean it's a possibility, I don't know your relationship etc.. but I'd suggest to her counseling and if she says anything other then yes.. goodbye.

Legally, if this was all to push separation date. You have a chance legally as you can say she seduced/manipulated you etc.. truthfully it can all be a mess and also not make a big difference.

My ex, came into my room drunk, and technically raped me. I'd had a few beers and gone to bed, this is a yr after . Next thing I know it's the am, she says we had sex. I honestly know we didnt, as when i drink i cant get hard. She's like I love you, I'm like good for you, wtf are you in my room. She tried to push the separation date up but she couldn't as she had a bunch of other issues going against her..

Imsosadsoveryverysad · 2023-07-19T09:42:59+00:00

Sometimes it changes the separation date to the last time you were intimate bro…

Due-Ad4708 · 2023-07-19T13:58:09+00:00

Big mistake. Sex is the way through women get things. She is gaslighting you. She's a toxic person. Use your mind. Don't use your heart. You're gonna regret any decision on her favor. I've been there before. Being good friends with my stbxw. You can never heal being her friend. I stopped that "friendly" relationship, and now I'm much better.

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2023-07-19T05:35:13+00:00

Going back to your Ex is like going back to your cold McDonald's fries from the day before...

... just all-around stupid.

heartless_monk · 2023-07-19T05:41:26+00:00

looks like Chad threw her to the side.. so now she’s using you as a validation blanket..

now, as far as reconciliation.. it’s possible, in some cases.

it all depends on why you all separated in the first place though.

Dismal_Elevator_110 · 2023-07-19T02:25:31+00:00

how long a married where and I you don't mind answering me how much will she get I'm proubly have to pay Mr stbex too

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2023-07-19T03:29:09+00:00

Sex fucks things up

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2023-07-19T04:35:14+00:00

Just remember why you wanted the divorce.

overarmur · 2023-07-19T08:53:18+00:00

I had a one time event with my ex while we were separated but before divorce. She got me drunk. In all fairness I went along with it.

Buy please don't do it. It creates a lot of confusion. Don't do what I did. Figure it out and move forward

upvotersfortruth · 2023-07-19T09:20:35+00:00

Well, that's gonna leave a mark. Is she expecting this as a pathway to reconciliation?

Lumptbuttcat · 2023-07-19T02:58:56+00:00

Hey, whatever floats your boat. Just don’t get sucked in. Short term marriage. You should get out without a whole lot of financial damage. Guess here is she’s back because she she’s the piggy bank rolling away.

Fyfel · 2023-07-19T03:00:17+00:00

It’s normal to sleep with your stbxw, it’s part of the decoupling process. As you’ve experienced though it can throw you for a loop. Good luck.

wisstinks4 · 2023-07-19T04:24:33+00:00

OP, my brother, you got a hold a line. You’re making this harder on yourself. No more caving in. Just because smashing his phone doesn’t mean you should be doing it with your ex. Just say no. Walk away. Run away if you have to.

Stay strong, big dog you can do it.

Flashy_Yam967 · 2023-07-19T10:55:15+00:00

In my state, the longer you are with your spouse, the longer you will owe spousal support. Get out now if that's your plan; by waiting, the longer you may spousal support. In my state, after 10 years of marriage, spousal support can be half the length of marriage. After 20 years, it can be however long the judge wants but more than 1/2 the length of marriage.in many states, spousal support laws are a strong argument to never get married.

Elfhelden · 2023-07-19T11:02:41+00:00

Sounds like you’re torn about it.

Shit happens, but you’ll have to mentally deal with this.

dietermeaterbeater · 2023-07-19T12:49:00+00:00

You’re fucked

captainchippsixx · 2023-07-19T13:56:14+00:00

Let the ploys to get money begin! Remember she always has motives to everything. This was thought in advance. Oh I don’t ant to have spousal support and the date changed so you pay me longer. No free money. Do what is required.

Worth-Prompt195 · 2023-07-19T14:43:20+00:00

I hope you had fun👍🏾 Today my stbx and I are going to court to finalize our agreement & we have a great relationship. There is no reason to seek revenge and pain in divorce.

HorrorAd1946 · 2023-07-19T14:51:56+00:00

Unfortunately, in a lot of states, spousal support resets the last time you were intimate. It's a trap many women use to extend support imo. Hope it's not the case for you.

AlexBanich · 2023-07-19T15:36:02+00:00

Separation date can be argued date of last sexual encounter....... she is setting you up

CrazySanta7 · 2023-07-19T16:51:01+00:00

Yeah, i'm sure she's been going to bed at 8 pm after going to church and knitting blankets for the last year. Get an STD test. No infidelity in the marriage? Maybe not on your part. Move on bro.

Weary_Landscape_7098 · 2023-07-19T17:31:02+00:00

Admiral Ackbar says it's a trap.

boltmaker12 · 2023-07-19T17:58:17+00:00

No it did no happen spontaneously, it happened because she wants support. She is trying to soften you up.

I remember the huge blow I gave my ex wife when we were starting the divorce process. She asked me if we were still going to take care of each other once in a while. She was floored when I said no.

Wassp868 · 2023-07-19T18:01:22+00:00

Bro.... get the fuck away from her.

She's playing games and manipulating you. Start working on detachment so you can fight for you and what you deserve to get from the split.

Horror_Ratio · 2023-07-19T18:33:12+00:00

FCUK Marriage

Kitchen-EngineerX · 2023-07-19T19:08:25+00:00

“It’ll be fine, the gun isn’t loaded…”

MrEgusi · 2023-07-19T21:19:06+00:00

Woooooow.... You messed up😬

If you still had feelings for her...You should have seen the divorce to completion, given her some space/time and then hooked up with her.

WestCoastThing · 2023-07-19T23:17:52+00:00

New date of separation is the date you last banged. Screwed her and screwed yourself at the same time.

Title	I slept with my stbxw
Author	rboller
Upvotes	18
Comments	60
Date	July 19, 2023 1:23 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/153goqz/i_slept_with_my_stbxw/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-slept-with-my-stbxw.1225710 https://theredarchive.com/post/1225710

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