Q4M: What are your thoughts on childfree women and infertile women?

MarBitt · 2023-08-23T16:30:50+00:00

On an individual level, not having children is a woman's valid decision that must be respected.

Of course they are real women (judging that someone is not a real woman or a real man is tremendously arrogant). When it comes to relationships, it's about compatibility. If a man wants children and a woman doesn't, that's probably a reasonable reason to break up. Likewise vice versa. If neither wants children, great, they can have a long-term relationship.

I sympathize with infertile women who long for a child. It's unfortunate and I understand that it can be really hard for the woman.

At the level of society or at the level of state policy, women and men of childbearing age need to be encouraged and supported to want children. At least if we are talking about developed countries, which have a hard time maintaining their population.

biscuitcatapult · 2023-08-23T16:38:52+00:00

As a childfree man, I wish there were more childfree women in the dating pool.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-08-23T16:32:02+00:00

We al individuals free to do what we please. Do you.

Also I do feel really bad for infertile women who want children. Thankfully for them the "Pro-Lifers" don't seem to care about IVF. So I hope that the "Pro-Lifers" stay inconsistent for the sake of these women.

Zabadoodude · 2023-08-23T16:28:27+00:00

I think It's just a personal choice. It's much better than begrudgingly having unwanted kids. As far as a romantic partner it obviously depends on what I want. If I want a family, then I can't get in a relationship with a woman that doesn't want kids

peteypete78 · 2023-08-23T16:26:32+00:00

For men who want kids they are irrelevant.

For men who don't want kids they are a prefered partner.

I'm done having kids so one who can't or won't have anymore is my preference.

2023-08-23T17:00:17+00:00

Well, I certainly see childfree and infertile women as "real women", not broken women.

That said, I do want to have children (biological and/or adopted), so a relationship with a childfree woman isn't for me, and vice-versa. I would be open to a LTR with an infertile woman who was open to adoption.

TelevisionGloomy5458 · 2023-08-23T17:50:30+00:00

Women “for recreational use only”. Cringe as F and extremely degrading. Sounds like OP watches a ton of porn. Objectify women much. So horrible. Vile

FlightOfThePigs · 2023-08-23T16:33:18+00:00

It's easy, if you want kids, find a woman who wants kids.

UEMcGill · 2023-08-23T16:45:20+00:00

I broke up with a woman because she kept moving the goal posts on kids (other reasons too but that was huge).

One minute it was just one kid only, the next it was later when her career was going well, then it was she didn't want to be pregnant but would adopt, etc (a no-go for me). Finally in a moment of deep conversation she let it slip she didn't want kids but was affraid it would cause us to break up.

Well yeah it did. If she would've put it out there from the beginning I would have saved us both a bunch of time.

I have 3 kids, as far as I know she never did.

bottleblank · 2023-08-23T17:06:47+00:00

As a potential partner? Well, even though I don't actively want kids I must admit that seeing women get pregnant and seeing guys I know becoming fathers has got me thinking about what (the good parts of) that experience would be like... but ultimately I still don't want kids, so a woman who doesn't want or can't have kids is fine for me.

I'd like to think that would be some minor comfort to a woman who can't have kids, because at least she wouldn't have the added pressure of disappointing her partner as well as herself. That really must suck, to know that you can't, unless you truly didn't want any in the first place.

But me? I don't think it'd be responsible for me to become a parent, for myriad reasons. I think it'd be a bad idea, I couldn't promise it any positive kind of life, I couldn't guarantee I'd be a good father (mine wasn't), and I don't know that I've proved myself sufficiently stable in life yet to make that kind of commitment.

I'm not so naive to think I won't regret that later in life, I'm aware that's a possibility, that it'd be the one special thing I never did. But I think that's best for everyone, I don't feel it's my place to force a woman, or especially the child, to have to deal with that, just for my own selfish satisfaction.

So, yes, basically, bring on the child-free and sterile women. I'd happily make partners of them and treat them with all the dignity and respect that decision deserves and all the women who can and want to have children can do that with more willing, capable partners. That seems like the best solution.

(Unfortunately I can't give other men that same attitude, regarding responsibility and capability to provide a stable upbringing, so reckless men will no doubt continue producing broken families, but at least I'm not knowingly contributing to those statistics.)

Workaholiconew · 2023-08-23T18:44:06+00:00

Most women who have no will to have children are fine...

Sure it may be a hindrance, particularly if you are with a man who wants kids... but it is nothing too bothersome. I see many men having relationships with these women.

SoulBadguy0408 · 2023-08-23T20:34:56+00:00

I don't really want kids myself even if I don't wish anything bad on children, so that's good for me

If the issue is infertility tho then I think that might take more working out if she wants to adopt or whatever

AlmostKindaGreat · 2023-08-23T21:26:35+00:00

I don't want kids so this is the only type of woman I will be involved with long term. I don't care if they don't want children or they are not able to have children for one reason or another. I don't see them as "broken" or any less a woman in any case.

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2023-08-23T18:32:34+00:00

Are these women responsible and rational in your eyes or do you see them as broken/for recreational use only/not real women?

In this economy? In this dating landscape? I consider childfree women extremely rational and responsible. They are the best. I don't want children either, so it makes things easier. My best relationship was with a cf ex.

What about women who are naturally infertile or infertile because of illness or injury, are they recreational women or women that could be a LTR or a partner that is taken seriously?

Because I do not want kids, I would take her seriously. But I realize this is not the case for other men. Also, I would be extremely cautious of infertile women. In my experience, they have issues stemming from being infertile. They need to be heavily vetted for red flags.

gothamdaily · 2023-08-23T18:42:18+00:00

Infertile and wants kids - very sorry: please consider adoption as, especially with the draconian abortion laws cropping up in what will be Gilead, there are and will be a lot of kids who need parents who want them. Still very viable for marriage as some men also don't want kids and/or have had their kids and just want a partner.

Infertile and doesn't want kids - congratulations! Enjoy your life of no birth control needed, except to avoid STDs!

Childfree and wants kids - date with intention and don't chase prettyboys/f**kboys...they're banging you and a few others at the same time: clock is ticking! Oh, and highly reco considering older guys as they tend to lean more towards settling down.

Childfree and doesn't want kids - find your male counterpart (there are PLENTY) and live a productive life as aunts and uncles and cousins and various other "kid adjacent" roles!

Alfalfa2-Throwaway · 2023-08-23T20:15:22+00:00

I'm interesting in that I'm childfree AND infertile. I never wanted children and then found out I can't have them (or if I can it will be extremely difficult with a low chance of success) when I found out, the news was not earth-shattering or devastating it was more "huh, ok" because I had ZERO interest in being a mother and am open and candid about my infertility but I've found that if people ask and I say I'm childfree I get the "oh you'll change your mind" spiel HOWEVER if I mention infertility people treat me like I'm some sort of invalid and that it's the worst news ever, women in particular - some would probably react with less sympathy if I told them I have terminal cancer

JesusTron6000 · 2023-08-23T20:50:00+00:00

I could have kids but I could also not have any kids and be happy. And an infertile partner wouldn't change my mind one way or another, and wouldn't think any different about them. If we're a good together despite that, that's what's important for me

CountMandrake · 2023-08-23T22:34:33+00:00

That they will be fine if they don't want children, and they are fucked up if they did want to, and I'm really sorry for them.

And let me preface by sayin' I'm the opposite of a feminist ally, I get called a fascist chauvinistic and sexist pig on a regular basis I mean...

But why the hell men would have an opinion on childless women?

Most men give a fuck really about women not having kids. Unlike feminists want to think, it's not men forcing their fishes on women's wombs and making them "have sum babies", but more like other women gaslighting women into having some dude's babies, even any dudes babies.

In fact, outside of abortion related stuff, which I don't agree with outside extreme cases (still I think most men than women are pro-abortion) and governments saying birth rates are low and screwing up the economy, most men don't care that much what women do.

We are bussy with our own shit dude.

In all honesty, kids are some of the most insuferable motherfucking creatures in the Lord's vineyards, and for the record, I work in the education system, so I know what I'm talking about. Some of them are cute tho, I'll grant that to their pearents, it shows these kids were raised properly, are educated, polite and respectful.

Still annoying as fuck.

And most men I know kinda agree with me on the matter.

Men don't really like kids, or the idea of having them, and most of us try to delay the problem as much as we can, and we wouldn't do it ever really if it wasn't for our women's insistence and the (false) hope that the mother would raise them without requiring our presence that much.

When women say men SUCK at parenting and don't want to put their share in rising children, I have to fucking agree you know.

Hell, that shit is something I can agree with feminists!

We suck at parenting, and guess what? It's because we give a fuck.

The dudes working at NASA launching fucking rockets to other planets, those though motherfuckers who kick asses at war a la John Rambo, the greatest stars of football who can kick the ball from 100 yards into a cat box without effort, all those skilled musicians who compose amazing songs and melodies and pretty much all the men around the world who do awesome shit and are the best of the best in what they do...

They all suck at being fathers, and that's because we give a fuck about children.

If we cared just HALF of what women care about being pearents, we would mope the fucking floor with gals at it, like pretty much any other competition between men and women.

The fact that women are still the primary caregivers around the whole world, in this day and era, should tell you how much guys like children.

Every single time I hear a woman complain that her husband doesn't spend much time helping with kids I'm like "oooh look everybody, hear these hot news... MEN GIVE A FUCK ABOUT CHILDREN! Isn't that amazing? How weird is that!!!".

Do women ever learn?

Don't get me wrong, we would absolutely jump into a burning building to save a kid from the flames, risking our own lives in the process. I was reading some news the other day about a father who wooped the ass out of a fucking 6 mts long white shark to save his kid from a certain death, damn that father was on beast mode.

But yeah, if the kid is healthy, he ate is meal, we already put a roof over his head and mom is happy, it's a good day for most guys, in our head it starts playing GTA "mission acomplished" tune and we're like... "I'm gonna GTFO of here, there is some shit to do out there".

But no man is going to spend 8 hours playing with his kids like women do. Not even if our lives depended on it.

So yeah, my opinion on childless women?

Congratulations ladies. You are childless and have a pussy, you must be the luckiest motherfuckers on Earth.

They are women tho, so I'm not sure they feel the same.

Like... They are the gender who willingly endure the process of getting their bodyshape screwed by carrying a person inside their wombs for nine months, go through hormonal changes, loss of hair, weight gain, depression, loss of sleep, and then split themselves in twice trying to pop them out from their vaginas.

Dude, whenever I do doggy with my girls they say "not too deep" and I'm 7.5'.

And then they insist on spitting a 20 inches 9 lbs people from there???

These bitches are crazy man.

I know a girl who died to save her baby during childbirth process. She was conscious and she had the last word, that's how laws go here in my country, if the woman is conscious she decides (otherwise, docs just remove the baby). Her partner beated the shit out of the doctors when they told him they were going to proceed with the birth, but the hospital called the police and he got his ass thrown in jail for the whole night. Super brave and corageous woman.

It was big on the news next day BTW. The guy had to endure a bunch of fucking feminist hags saying on TV he had forced his wife to give birth, when it was actually him the one pro-abortion in the relationship, the mother was the pro-life one.

So...

And that's all I have to say about women and children.

Women are crazy. If it was for the men our specie would have gone extinct long ago.

Steakman1 · 2023-08-23T17:10:23+00:00

I want kids someday. So a woman who doesn’t want kids would simply be incompatible with me. If a woman is infertile but is open to kids through a surrogate, then that is fine with me. I am also fine with adoption, though I would probably want at least one child that is biologically mine.

I don’t care for “recreational use only” women. There’s no women I’ve “used recreationally.” I simply just don’t deal with those women. Having recreational sex with women I don’t care about just seems like a waste of time to me.

If a woman doesn’t want kids because she would rather have a career, fine. Just incompatible. If a woman doesn’t want kids because she wants to travel the world and sip margaritas on the beach, I find that immature. But either way, they are free to live their lives the way they want.

gopher_glitz · 2023-08-23T16:30:48+00:00

I wish I could find them

gusta_cl · 2023-08-23T16:39:56+00:00

it's completely respectable if they are conscious about why they don't want children. maybe they know that children are expensive and unless they get a better income it's irresponsible to have children if you can't afford to give them a decent life. or if you have traumas, are emotionally unstable and know the psychological burden that a pregnancy and then taking care of a baby/infant for many years is.

me personally (being a man) wouldn't have children if i can't afford to give them the lifestyle i would like my children to have, or if i don't feel mentally ready. it's a big decition.

for infertile women, it's more complicated, maybe they do want to have children and can't. but miracles happen and a very fertile man can get them pregnant. or maybe they can but it's a risky pregnancy. those cases really are though mentally and morally.

lolthankstinder · 2023-08-23T18:09:53+00:00

Childfree friend or family member? Couldn’t care less. Childfree dating prospect? Would probably prefer someone that more closely aligns with my own personal preferences which includes the possibility of kids one day.

My feelings on infertility resembles women’s feelings on height. I could be perfectly happy with someone infertile. Infertility doesn’t necessarily mean childfree. You can still adopt or use a surrogate. However, given tons of options I would probably just err on the side of caution and filter out infertility. If someone lied about it I would be upset even though it’s really not a big deal. If I’m years into a relationship and my girlfriend discovers or suddenly becomes infertile it’s not a dealbreaker.

VTHokie2020 · 2023-08-23T18:44:51+00:00

I mean women that honestly want no children but they don’t hate children

These people are far and few in between.

Look at the childfree subreddit. It's constant gloating and hating of kids, comes off as project and an insecurity.

So in your hypothetical, don't think anything of them. But the people who advertise that they're child free are cringe

MrDoomerZoomer · 2023-08-23T19:06:14+00:00

I am a childfree guy so I wish there were more of them because it's hard to find a life partner.

Electronic-Zucchini9 · 2023-08-23T20:25:59+00:00

If a woman chooses to be child-free, that's her business and none of mine. If she's infertile, I empathize with her if she wants to have kids.

MasterTeacher123 · 2023-08-23T20:31:36+00:00

I don’t want kids so I had to find someone else who was also on the same page and it worked out for me and my GF. One of the reasons I broke up with my previous GF is cause she wanted to have kids down the line and I’m like I’m not the guy for you then.

bigapple4am · 2023-08-23T21:27:10+00:00

Love them

Durmyyyy · 2023-08-24T04:27:43+00:00

I mean they are adults and they can do what makes them happy.

Having children is very difficult and you shoudlnt have them if you dont really want them.

I dated a girl like this at one time but I wouldnt marry her because I wanted kids. We both knew this.

I have a kid now and Im older so I would be interested in someone like this if they would accept my son (sometimes people just dont want to have them or deal with young years) but if they dont I understand 100%.

4SSh01e · 2023-08-23T16:26:18+00:00

Don't care much about the childfree ones, bit sad for the infertile women if they want children of their own.

y2k-ultra · 2023-08-23T19:31:01+00:00

As someone who will struggle with infertility and wants to be a mom so damn badly… this thread really hurts to read. I really hope that someone would find joy in the journey of battling my degenerative disease. It’s a big ask, but I just want a little bundle of joy. Thinking about it makes me cry quite a bit.

I hope my value isn’t attached to something that is completely and entirely out of my control. I hope some of you maintain grace for those who have chronic illness.

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-08-23T16:46:51+00:00

I'm going to tell a little story:

I had a long conversation with my aunt a few years ago. She is like mega wealthy, lives in a high rise in a populated metro area, early 60s, divorced twice, no kids.

What she told me is that women look down on her. Not men. She said that women view her as a lesser woman because she never had kids. And she doesn't hate kids, it just doesn't fit into her busy lifestyle and she also liked to party.

But overall she did tell me she does not regret never having kids, but I just feel a tinge of sadness, a gut feeling that this isn't fully the truth.

For men who want kids, women who are infertile would be a no-go, so you're better off focusing your attention on men who also want no kids.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-08-23T18:39:30+00:00

On principle, I’m pro all people doing whatever they want in that area. That said, I don’t know that I’ve ever met a woman who didn’t want kids who didn’t to some degree dislike children. They may not be openly hostile or wish harm to kids, but they seem to feel the need to be defensive about their choice to not have any even if no one confronted them about it, and often times they even like to flaunt their “freedom” in a way that comes off as them trying to feel superior. Maybe this is simply a response to the social stigma they’ve encountered in the past, but as someone who has never told anyone they need to have kids I get pretty exhausted having to listen to someone go on a soapbox about how it’s their choice and they’re happy. Generally speaking, I f you have to aggressively explain why you’re happy then you probably aren’t actually happy.

As for infertile women, I feel terribly sorry for them for having the choice taken away, and I certainly don’t see them as any lesser of a woman. In fact, many of them supplement their lack of natural childbearing ability by becoming very maternal towards others, whether through actual adoption or just showing care to other humans or animals. And in my opinion, exhibiting those traits whether to your own children or simply to anyone is the peak of feminine power.

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2023-08-23T17:47:03+00:00

I would consider dating but I would never marry. I beleive the primary purpose of marriage is to provide a stable environment for child rearing. If we were a great match, we could remain long term partners if we were both past the age of having children.

-snickerss- · 2023-08-23T18:18:16+00:00

I don't have a problem with them who see it as a life decision. But I do have a problem when it is their "ideology". Women who see it as an ideology usually disrespect people who want kids or have them. Hell, they even go as far as calling children "spawns".

bad_nerves · 2023-08-23T17:14:45+00:00

i don't see them as "broken" but yes i would see them as for "recreational use" because i do want kids in the horizon. this inherently makes those women not compatible with my long term goals. i'll still date them but there is an inherent expiry date on the relationship because of it.

TopNYJeweler · 2023-08-23T17:36:35+00:00

I'm truly sorry for infertile women, but I want to have children, so it would be an issue of incompatibility if she cannot have them or would hate them.

I'm sure there are plenty of men, maybe like half men, that don't care, so I don't think those women will struggle finding a man they like.

HOWEVER, I notice a lot of women that start being childfree and then want to have children, but it is too late. I know at least two of them in real life. This can be an issue because if the guy did not want to have children and now she wants, the compatibility is compromised.

Brennelement · 2023-08-23T18:17:45+00:00

I understand not wanting kids at the moment for practical reasons; e.g. you can’t afford them yet or you want to finish college and buy a house first. Or maybe if you have a severe genetic disorder. But not wanting them at all speaks of extremely low self-worth and emotional immaturity (for a man or woman).

As a guy who hasn’t had kids of my own yet, a “child free” woman would be out of the question. However when I’m older and have already had several kids, I’d consider dating someone like this since that box would be already checked for me.

BLKSKNHED · 2023-08-23T16:35:21+00:00

Any guy that hasn't been gimped by either the patriarchy or their mom to be unable to functionally live without a woman And doesn't want kids has no reason to be with you because the urge for companionship is very weak compared to urge for casual sex and i doubt you want that sorry

Asatmaya · 2023-08-23T17:11:48+00:00

It's their choice, of course.

That being said, as a parent, I have found that people who have not raised children simply do not have the same perspective on the world.

Kryptoncockandballs · 2023-08-23T19:26:33+00:00

Mentally ill

StrikingAd8556 · 2023-08-23T17:05:40+00:00

I feel sorry for infertile women who want children. I feel sorry for infertile women who have to endure their medical condition being used as an excuse to validate a political belief that is biologically incompatible and nonsensical.

I think having children is a choice, but I think most women who glorify being childfree are doing so to deal effectively with something difficult. I know this is cruel, but I really do hope the girl bosses that are living it up right now with their smug misandrist superiority end up alone and regretting their choices. I hope they suffer in old age meanwhile I am starting a family and having children as a narcissistic way to get revenge on all of the women who are too good for me. I revel in their chronic singledom. These women are the real incels. They think they are hot stuff just because they're young and attractive, but their looks will fade with time and they will be washed up and miserable while I have a loving family.

I've already seen this play out and it brings me immense joy. Many of the women from online dating I pursued a decade ago are still single. How pathetic to be in your 30s and have no one.

Despite that, I think it is ridiculous how the red pills guys use the fact these women will end up alone as some fear tactic to get them to settle for men they aren't interested in. It comes across as weak.

Ambitious-Knee7586 · 2023-08-23T17:28:05+00:00

All child free women are super hostile about children what are you talking about. They’re all raging child hating feminist.

DoinIt989 · 2023-08-23T18:39:51+00:00

Massive NO from me. People who don't want kids disturb me in general

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ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-08-23T18:44:34+00:00

I don’t think of them. No offense but they aren’t on my radar.

Good for you for knowing what you want but doesn’t align with me so don’t give Shit

I don’t look down on them but neither do I give them much time or thought

eye_fuck · 2023-08-23T19:25:07+00:00

I dont care

lolmastr13 · 2023-08-23T19:25:33+00:00

Fine 🫡, I feel bad for infertile women who wanted kids

Creepy-Substance7279 · 2023-08-24T07:13:35+00:00

As a childfree man I try to only date cf women. I am 26 though so it is hard to find any at this young age.

ThisBoringLife · 2023-08-24T14:38:46+00:00

Some women can't have kids, sucks for them (maybe, if they wanted) but that's fine.

Some women don't want kids, and that's fine.

However, for guys who do want to be a family man with kids, I'd assume most would rather want their own instead of going with adoption or getting some pets. That's a standard that can't really be worked around. I'd see it as acceptable to breakup over that.

Some men are cool with that and will stay. Others won't. Both sides are fine.

Vegetable-South5499 · 2023-08-24T17:35:49+00:00

I see the purpose of marriage not for the two parties involved, but the children they create. So if a woman doesn't want to have kids for any reason, there is virtually no good reason to marry them. LTR sure, but not marriage.

CringeButCorrect · 2023-08-24T22:39:20+00:00

Childfree women? Whatever, their choice. Infertile women? Wtf???? The nerve of some people, smh.

Title	Q4M: What are your thoughts on childfree women and infertile women?
Author	foxylilthing19
Upvotes	14
Comments	168
Date	August 23, 2023 4:22 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15z8m3k/q4m_what_are_your_thoughts_on_childfree_women_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-what-are-your-thoughts-on-childfree-women-and.1229526 https://theredarchive.com/post/1229526

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