Men are wanting women they don't measure up to and women are getting tired of dealing with it which is the main cause of issues between them.

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-10-17T00:55:59+00:00

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Not wanting a fat person or someone with kids is seen as expectations to high, this is fucking gold

Different-Virus-7474 · 2023-10-17T01:20:04+00:00

I'm well above average in everything but still can't get a decent match

YasuotheChosenOne · 2023-10-17T02:00:02+00:00

I feel a big issue is a lot of things women feel they “bring” to the relationship men don’t care about. But ya’ll still use it to boost your perceived value for whatever reason.

Having a career, making a shit ton of money, being super educated etc are things women want in men. They aren’t necessarily negatives, and in fact are often appreciated, but the big ones for men are looks and personality (compatibility). Women look for BFs like they look for jobs while men look for GFs like they look for friends.

Despite saying it repeatedly, most dudes would prefer a women who had more free time (to spend together), and a sunny disposition.

EastSideSlasha · 2023-10-17T02:10:42+00:00

Is not being obese and having no kids supposed to be some rare commodity today? 😂

grillopie · 2023-10-17T00:50:33+00:00

you’re not using it right. i have no idea how accurate the data is, but if you notice, the male version you used has a younger age demo. of course this is going to result in a higher % of the people within that demo since much more of the younger age demo is unmarried. if you include 25-40, lots of 30-40 year old men are already married, your percentage is going to be low.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-10-17T01:10:55+00:00

I plugged my own stats in and apparently I don’t exist…and neither do any of the other women I personally know who have the same stats…seems as though the “tool” is not exactly accurate 🤣

jazzmaster1992 · 2023-10-17T01:09:23+00:00

The only "issue" I see here is that one of your standards is about height. Nobody can "work on themselves" in a way that will change their height for the better. Swap in any other physical trait like skin color, hairline/balding, face, breast size etc and it's the same thing. I mean, you can go the route of painful cosmetic surgery for some of these but I would absolutely not tell anyone to do this.

But this is where you start to ask yourself which of your standards can be negotiated with and why. It's one thing to say "I want someone who is within similar socioeconomic status, that is as healthy and active as I am, and could reasonably share a future with me". It's another thing to say this person must also possess certain physical characteristics over which they have no control. On top of a list of things you desire that's within someone's control to a greater extent, it's now being compounded with them having to actually be physically attractive to you.

This is what a lot of men and women complain about as well; many folks say they want the ambitious, mature, kind person, but the caveat is they also have to be hot. The world is actually not too short of reasonably mature, intelligent, kind individuals with some level of education and earning potential. But there's only so many really physically attractive ones to go around. By that I mean the archetypal hourglass "curvy" women, or tall and handsome guys.

I'm not condemning anyone for their physical preferences. Everyone is allowed to have them. Relationships seem inherently shallow and I don't think it's good or bad, it just kind of is. But in the discussion of people asking for things that are out of their league, I think it's worth asking if that's because they didn't put in the work to become attractive to the people they desire, or because they are simply not physically appealing enough, and nothing they can do would change that.

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-10-17T01:38:33+00:00

I think the issue is the bar for the average person keeps getting lower and lower. The average man is overweight, 5’10, making somewhere between 40k-50k, has a poor diet and is balding. The average woman is overweight, making 35k-45k and in debt with a kid. I think both men & women want whats considered above average because let’s be honest, the average person is not ideal.

30+ years ago the average person was not overweight, not in debt and made decent income so to be above average you had to actually be a little bit outstanding.

To be above average nowadays you just have to be not overweight really. I personally wouldn’t consider myself above average but I’m a woman that’s 5’6, 131 lbs and make 50k. So on paper based on my physique I’m above average technically.

LouisdeRouvroy · 2023-10-17T00:54:34+00:00

Those roughly match up % wise

0.33 vs 5.88. One is almost 18 times bigger than the other. So no, they don't "almost" match.

To put that in perspective, men want that one girl in their classroom of 40 students (assuming half are girls so 5%), while women want at most 2 players among all the Premier league players.

MotleyCrew1989 · 2023-10-17T01:44:31+00:00

Really?

I put: between 28 and 34 yo, not married (duhh), no children, no overweight, between 5´and 5´7", any race and earning at least 30K (wich is less than the average income)

Only 2,12% of women meet those criteria

Im 34yo (had to put between 32 and 37), single, 5´11", not obese, white, and above average income (had to play with the numbers since Im from another country)

Only 0,88% of men met those criteria.

There is 2,4 women who meet my criteria, for every me thats out there, who is really the delusional one? If anyone doesnt measure up is women, but they got handled the right set of genitals so they think they can demand whatever bullshit they think they deserve.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2023-10-17T00:42:39+00:00

It's not that simple just to get a better career and be making the big bucks.. I personally don't date single moms because women with kids are a nightmare to deal with usually and they use their kids frequently as excuses.. not to mention most single moms fall into the fat or obese range... But I don't wanna deal with that because I'm active I go on back packing trips frequently because I like the solitude and peace ... I'm 5'9 160lbs and make over 70k a year id rate myself a 6-6.5 maybe a 7 if I put more attention to detail on clean lines on my beard and stuff... But I get your point alot of the men on here complain but have nothing to actually bring to the table... But women no matter their social status etc will try to date up and have success most guys are not gonna be able to do that... Hell women belittle blue collar men who make good money simply because they didn't go to college and get educated... But at the same time you can't be mad at a man for wanting a woman who's healthy and does not have kids because health and children are choices that they made

depressed_apple20 · 2023-10-17T01:26:12+00:00

There are wayyyy more fat women not willing to date fat men than fat men not willing to date fat women. Contrary to popular believe, women are way more shallow than men, men are shallow but not to the point of making sex impossible for fat women, even fat women have opportunities to have sex but fat men are usually forced to live a sexless life against their will, it's statistically easier to find a fat virgin man than a fat virgin woman.

What you're saying makes zero sense, women are the first ones who want to receive way more than they can give.

Hoopy223 · 2023-10-17T00:35:53+00:00

Those numbers are based on raw data they don’t lie. When you put in single men then yeah it’s only gonna be like half. Because a lot of guys are married.

Now out of single man do you have ones who are obese so again and the number is smaller.

Some men are short so again the number goes down to a little.

Average income in America is around $40-$50,000. So yes if you make 60 or 70 you’re way above average for a single person.

Unfortunately the “average” in America is pretty sad these days for a lot of reasons.

Sea-Lengthiness8846 · 2023-10-17T01:45:24+00:00

In my experience, young women get the upper hand when it comes to white collar opportunities and jobs. The graduate assistants were pretty & thin, one with fake tits. In the workplace, both of my early employers hired very attractive female interns. The colleagues in my dept was heavily female.

Most of the bosses are basically paying them for eye candy and a chance at banging/enticing male clients. It’s pretty gross and those women are unappealing tbh.

Women want some CEO/management type but they bandwagon together so women get those roles, not your boyfriends/hubbies.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-10-17T03:44:34+00:00

I think that the real issue is that many women do not consider men who are equally ranked in SMV to actually be on that woman's level for dating purposes. i.e. if you are a 60th percentile woman in SMV, you find 60th Percentile men to be beneath your standards in absolute terms regardless of being the same SMV rank as you. And women still do want to date up in certain criteria.

A lot of women won't say it, but the underlying feeling seems to be that women just bring more to the table than men these days. The women want some return for the greater sexual leverage they have due to higher male thirst, as this is just how negotiating works. You have a weaker hand, it is my right to get a bit more from you. On top of that, there is a feeling that even if dating is harder for men, due to female nature, once committed, women will start providing more than the man within the context of the relationship: pregnancy costs, more childcare, emotional labor, etc.

So right or wrong, women keep saying this is a fucking INDIVIDUAL decision and if the men she can land for commitment do not make her life better than being single, she will stay single. If that means the world will burn, then it fucking burns because it means men as a whole are fucked up and need to up their game. I get an intuition that Women are tired of the macro level argument that if the pairing rate is too low, society will collapse. Some may understand this is true on a certain level, but see pushing the issue now as men trying to avoid doing what they need to, which is leveling up as a whole and getting their shit together. Until then, less women will pair with men. It's a negotiating game of chicken, and women aren't gonna be moved by apocalyptic warnings and doomsaying because they actually believe men can do better, and will not give in until men do.

Not sure how I feel about this argument, but it has some compelling aspects and seems to sum up a lot of what I hear from women.

Non-normie187 · 2023-10-17T03:57:24+00:00

I'm 6 feet, 6 figures, 6 inches. No 6 pack, but I'm not obese. By what you've said I'm above average. But it feels like I'll need to be a multi millionaire and get plastic surgery to find a nice girl that's not overweight with no kids and no serious untreated mental health issues. Who cares about her career?

tadL · 2023-10-17T06:09:37+00:00

Wait a moment the average woman is not childless? Is GenZ already hitting 18 with a child ? So they are by default single parent mothers?

How is that working out?

And single parent mothers like single parent fathers ( I am myself one with 2 young kids) are off the market. We are used / leftover products so to speak.

And it may sound harsh but I am not complaining and I don't know any other single parent father who is complaining. And single parent mothers should just be quiet too.

We played our cards. We are where we are and if somone wants to join a family that is not his or her own that's great for sure but single parents have no right to demand anything. The partner that joins is already taking a big L. That's what I tell all the women that try to date me. No get yourself someone without children. Plenty left. Same for woman. There are enough without children. Don't take the risk.

DesertShifter · 2023-10-17T00:55:48+00:00

Income is your killer, and until you get there you've got it way better than guys do. Single, Childless, Thin women of any race, between 5'2 and 6'0, earning any amount of money (including $0) comes out to 12.22% or 1/8 women. Before income, you've got 25.3% or 1/4, literally double the options men have. Essentially, when it comes to men vs women who meet the dirt low standards, you have twice as many men than women meeting those low standards.

What's killing your dating pool essentially is not wanting to date down. It's not a match as you suggested either, those same figures for a woman earning $40k is 4.25%, so for every hundred people in that demographic, youve got 51 guys for every 49 women. You've got an advantage in quality of choice until you move further up from that income bracket. The issue for women is that they don't want to date a lower economic guy, so the high economic status dudes who meet the dirt low standards are killing it because they don't place as much emphasis on income as women do.

I'm 6'0, thin, soon to be 30, earning just shy of 6 figures annually, that puts me at a 0.4% tier man if you cut off height at 6'0 and extend the age range from 18-50. at 5'7 height cutoff I'm 1.3%. I'm spoiled for choice, but disdain the lack of good choices after my dirt low 3 (single, thin, childless) since only 1/8 women make it and that gets whittled down by actual standards (dont be a hoe, be intelligent, single but not in a relationship...). I sympathize though, it's tough if you can meet the dirt low 3 (because they are actually super easy to meet) as a majority of americans can't. Surprisingly, the biggest fix is the easiest: JUST STOP EATING SO MUCH.

neinhaltchad · 2023-10-17T04:24:51+00:00

Women write this shit, and then still can’t figure out why “passport bros” are a thing.

Or, they do figure it out and resort to shaming them as “predators” rather than the reality.

If you are not-fat man, why TF wouldn’t you go where women are mostly also not far (ie not the west)?

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-10-17T00:47:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TomKikkert · 2023-10-17T04:27:20+00:00

Hypergermy

2023-10-17T07:35:00+00:00

Right! These standards you speak of, I mostly hear about them on social media. I think it's so amazing how men and women will have long checklists of their person, but then when you go out into real life, You see everyday people of all shapes and sizes, and from different walks of life, and it makes me wonder why we spend so much time on these lists instead of just meeting real people in our daily lives.

It's actually comforting that we see ppl irl who don't fit those standards because it just reminds me how we are all imperfect humans free to be ourselves without fitting into a standard

basedmama21 · 2023-10-17T16:11:51+00:00

I think men are just wanting basic respect, not being the size of an ogre, and loyalty from women but women think they’re too good for every man who approaches them

Ac3leco · 2023-10-17T23:14:00+00:00

Muscle weighs more than fat. You also have to consider that many of the men listed as "overweight" are just muscular and don't appear visibly fat at all.

But a higher percentage of women are overweight/obese and ALL of those women are actually fat.

jay10033 · 2023-10-17T01:51:36+00:00

Don't be overweight and don't have kids - this is a pretty low bar. Lol. And generally in your control.

liferelationshi · 2023-10-17T04:49:39+00:00

If we’re taking about dating in the states, you have it reversed; women are the delusional ones and they even admit it. Average women refuse to date average men because in their view they’re not good enough.

Here, enter in your requirements and see what percentage of men fit.

https://igotstandardsbro.com/

James_Cruse · 2023-10-17T05:51:31+00:00

This is clearly a delusional overweight single mother who’s made many many poor choices.

Do you really think that writing all of this = Men believe this?

You know men have eyes and actually go out into the world and meet women.

We know that the average woman under 25 is slim and childless and has a decent enough education to not be making so many poor decisions as you clearly have.

I’m guessing you’re an American. Please feel free to take a trip to Australia - even more slim and childless women at that age.

Go to ANYWHERE in Asia or Latin America or Eastern Europe - most women in that age range fit that description.

The problem here is that you think men are like women - that men will just believe any nonsese we read. Men just aren’t like that.

PrinceArchie · 2023-10-17T05:48:41+00:00

No the problem is women who aren’t extraordinary think themselves extraordinary and take offense when someone tells them they aren’t. Been reading a lot of comments here and it’s wild how OP is really trying to sell this idea that if you aren’t overweight and don’t already have a child (presumably by the time you are in your early thirties) as a SINGLE WOMAN ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP that you are somehow a goddess? So what does that make a young man who literally meets those same criteria? We don’t need to bemoan RP talking point on why men and women are different to reinforce cognitive dissonance and double standards, we merely need to call a spade a spade.

Why is it there are more than a “few” women who legitimately think (and subsequently reinforced) that simply not being overweight and being childless means they are better than the men in their same cohort? It’s a fairly straightforward question that really doesn’t need a roundabout explanation, just a simple admission of why it is we clearly view men and women this way.

obviousredflag · 2023-10-17T07:43:52+00:00

Male hypergamy or male delusion about their own value? Guys here don't want to hear it.

Like distribution on Hinge. The bottom 50% of men do not send most of their likes to the bottom 50% of women. If they did send 100% of their likes to within their "league", the bottom 50% of women would get closer to 50% of the total likes.

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2023-10-17T11:16:50+00:00

No. I’ve personally seen the change, and the data reflects it across the board. The wall is getting bigger and harder because their expectations are getting spoiled by OLD

ZealousidealWish9392 · 2023-10-17T02:11:46+00:00

Where is this calculator?

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Safinated · 2023-10-17T05:23:46+00:00

It’s just thirst. Annoying, but manageable for now

PremiumBlkBabe · 2023-10-17T06:33:25+00:00

This thread made me realize I prefer women over men. . . I’ve dated both but this just sealed the deal.

Gundam_net · 2023-10-18T10:46:03+00:00

$60k is a lot of money. Also, 34 - 24 - 34 is hot.

I don't understand the obesity thing, but I do understand money. I am not obese. I'm 5'8", as it happens, 180lbs ish but hace a body fat% of less than 15% (abs are visible). My goal is to get the body of an NFL running back, because I regret not pursuing profeasional athletics as a career, so it became my goal to prove to myself that I was physically capable of doing it. So that's that. I need to get to 195lbs - 215lbs at ~11% bodyfat or so. But 185 was my intermediate goal and I'm almost there, so that's good. 195lbs is the new/next intermediate goal and then 205 and then maybe 215, though I may stop at 195 - 200 not sure yet.

But this comes with drawbacks, for my specific goal, I decided to fully mimic a professional athelete lifestyle and this means following a professional athelete diet and that means whole foods only, no added sugar and fully tracking both micronutrients and macronutrients. It also requires I be in the gym 3 days per week and that I spend $200/week on food for one person and that I spend a considerable amount of time planning, shopping and cooking food.

I also have no career and make $10/hour and my hair is receding. So I'm above average in body, but not with money and my hair will look bad soon enough. I'm also short.

TinCrud1 · 2023-10-19T05:57:08+00:00

Sorry but as a man who makes 6 figures, I find it disgusting that anyone would consider it "dating down" when referencing a human's worth in a relationship.

This is why so many people are unhappy and or can't get together. I know OP is partnered but this kind of thinking will almost always catch up to them. It's a wonder why most relationships fail.

midwesternMD · 2023-10-19T23:04:01+00:00

I’m fairly certain the delusion calculators are inaccurate, but they do serve the purpose of giving concrete numbers to whether what someone desires might be readily or not readily found.

But I agree that people in general need to be better.

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