Ok so even though it doesn’t really matter exactly what you say on a cold approach (it's mostly just if she's physically attracted to you, your overall vibe and confidence, and if she's available), I realize that some guys might want just a basic starter conversation so they at least have some type of structure to latch onto when they are starting out.  So here it is.  I’ll write out the stack and then break it down afterwards.

Approach

"Excuse me/Hey excuse me"

Wait For her to acknowledge you

"You're really cute/sorry but you are really cute/hey this is super random but you are ridiculously cute/some variation of those", doesn't matter too much

She will respond, usually with some version of thank you. Sometimes she will be awkward or ignore you or will get some other bad reaction. This is unavoidable. Expect a disproportionately bad reaction about 5% of the time (girl ignores you, is slightly rude, etc, it's pretty much never that big a deal)

I usually say "no problem" when they say thank you

Ask what she’s up to/what she’s up to that day/or if you want, comment on something she’s doing right now.  It doesn’t matter.

She will respond.

Say something or respond to what she says.  It can be as simple as saying “nice”.

Have 3-5 questions/statements ready to talk about.  Just general get to know you questions.

Ask what she has going on that week.  I usually say “what do you have going on this week?  we should grab a drink.”

She will respond with her availability, or she will reject you if she doesn’t want to meet

Say “cool, well lets grab a drink this weekend/one of these days after work (just something within the bounds of her availability)

She’ll say some variation of “yeah that sounds good” or if she hasn’t rejected you yet, she will reject you

Say “cool, let me get your number real quick”

Get number

Say “ok well I gotta keep shopping/I gotta get back to my friends/I gotta perform open heart surgery/whatever, but I’ll text you and we’ll set something up/we’ll figure it out/whatever”

She’ll respond with whatever

Say “alright cool, see you later/talk to you later”

This is the general format I use for probably 90%+ of my approaches.  There’s no crazy lines.  There’s no quippy jokes I put in there.  I don’t specifically say things to make her invest or build comfort/rapport (that’s already mostly handled by just having a short/normal conversation so she can see you’re at least normal enough to have a conversation).  All that other PUA stuff you’ve been reading has been mostly useless. 

The purpose of an approach is to see if she’s available and interested in you (YOU, not your lines), and to build INTEREST for the date.  The DATE is where you can build some rapport/comfort.  She just needs to be interested enough from the approach to go on a date with you.  That’s it.  And actually, a lot of times, stretching the initial interaction too long can actually be a detriment.  You get into too friendly territory and it becomes apparent that you are just talking about random stuff to keep the convo going just for the sake of keeping it going.  Women will pick up on this.  They are not stupid.  They know you are talking to them because you are sexually interested in them.  If they sense you are purposely extending the conversation, it might not KILL the interaction, but it will count against you.  It’s not a good precedent to set that you are indirect and lack the confidence to just make things happen.

Building rapport, having long conversations or thinking there’s a magic threshold of time you need to hit, thinking you have to hit all these different stages and phases and shit, is complete nonsense.  I have known several guys who implement these tactics and the same things happen to them that happen to me when I go direct and have short conversations (generally between 1-3 minutes, and 3 minutes is actually a little long for me).  They still get ghosted the same amount.  They still have “zomg amazing conversations and crazy connection” and the girl doesn’t respond.  They get rejected the same amount and they get dates at roughly the same rate.  Basically, they get almost identical (or worse) results than me but are investing way more time and mental emotional energy into the process.

I absolutely promise you, the only things that matter on an approach are if she’s attracted to you, she likes your overall vibe (which will be communicated no matter what you say because it’s about HOW you say and do things), and if she’s available.  If all those things are true, there’s a decent chance she’ll go on a date with you.  Assuming you aren’t doing or saying anything that’s just completely socially retarded or completely out of the realm of “normal” social interactions, those are the only things that matter.

Ok so lets break down the approach step by step:

OPEN DIRECTLY!  You want to be opening directly pretty much 100% of the time.  No it won’t kill the set.  No it won’t turn the girl off.  No she won’t think you’re vulgar.  No she won’t call the police and get you thrown in jail.  No you won’t be cancelled.  There is no reason to not go direct in pretty much every scenario.  Going direct is the best because its the most congruent and confident.  You want to fuck her, right?  Ok, so why are you asking what type of latte she’s drinking?  Do you really give a fuck about her latte?  No, you don’t.  You want to fuck her.

Even indirect approaches eventually turn into direct approaches because you will eventually have to make a “statement of intent” (as PUA’s call it) or “make it man to woman”.  You’re going to be complementing her or showing her sexual interest at some point anyway, so why not just do it at the beginning and save yourself (and her) some time.

A lot of people are scared to go direct.  It is anxiety-inducing.  But they completely ignore the fact that they ALSO feel anxiety when they go indirect.  When you go indirect, you’re always thinking about when is the right time to show intent.  When should I give my compliment?  How do I transition to it in a “smooth” way?  This produces much more anxiety than just the initial little spike of a direct opener.  It also generally makes you come across as less confident and more weird because you are so busy analyzing the convo and trying to find where to insert the direct statement and anticipating her reaction that you can’t focus on actually expressing yourself and being in the moment.

Every single guy I have worked with has told me that once they switch to direct openers, it made them feel more at ease and felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders.  I could talk endlessly about this, but trust me, it’s better to go direct.

Ok after you give your opener, she will respond.  Usually saying thank you or some variation of that.  She might give you a neutral response and sometimes they will give you an overtly negative response.  These are unavoidable.  No matter what type of approach you do, you will sometimes get negative responses.  This is one thing that holds a lot of guys back from going direct.  They are actually trying to circumvent these negative responses by being super friendly and indirect so as to not possibly offend the girl.  This is the wrong way to go about it.  If you are scared of negative reactions from girls, you definitely won’t be able to handle the flakiness, testing, resistance, etc that girls will put up at any given point.  Guys who are super indirect on the approach also tend to be (not all the time, but most of the time) indirect in how they do everything else.

If you can’t even give her a compliment on the approach, how are you going to go for the kiss/makeout/whatever once she’s back at your place?  How you do one thing is usually how you do most other things.  You don’t want to get in the habit of being indirect right from the start.

Ok so she’ll say whatever her response is.  If it’s not an outright rejection, continue with asking her what she’s up to.  Usually I’ll just say some random thing about what she just said (“I’m shopping for candles”, “Nice, you getting some pumpkin spice bullshit or what?”).  She’ll respond with whatever and then I’ll usually go into basic small talk.  This is where the 3-5 questions/statements come in.

I should point out that the point of these isn’t to ACTUALLY get to know her and retain all the information.  It’s for both of you to get a feel for the other person.  Mainly for her to know that you’re a cool, normal guy.  She needs to know that you are somewhat normal and you come across as confident/cool enough to go on a date with.  So the questions don’t really matter.  Who you are as a person will come through no matter what you’re talking about.  But if you need a little starter for what your questions/statements should be, here’s some ideas.

Are you a student?

You live around here?

What do you do for work?

I just moved here from blah blah blah

I’m just out shopping for blah blah blah

How do you guys know each other (if she’s with a friend)

How many dicks have you sucked this year? (JK, but hey try it out, it might work)

Comment on some random thing they are wearing/doing

It literally doesn’t matter

And then when they respond, you can choose to go as far down that conversation topic as you want.  I would recommend if you’re just starting out to just ask the questions/make the statements and then move onto the next one, even if it feels/sounds weird.  Or just do one little response to what she says and move onto the next one. One you are comfortable with that, THEN you can worry about spicing up the convo and being a little more free form.

Ok after the questions, you can just ask what she has going on that week/weekend/the next few days and ask to get a drink/coffee/whatever.  If she doesn’t drink alcohol/coffee, just ask what she drinks and say you guys will get that.  Then just ask for the number.  Then say bye in whatever way you feel like (within societal norms.  Don’t say “it was nice talking to you, now go fuck yourself”) and leave.

This is all there is too it.  Remember, EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAY DOESN’T MATTER!  The point of the interaction is to find out if she’s available and interested.  The point of the conversation is it gives you a chance to express yourself to see if she likes your vibe.  A quick point about the girl “liking you”.  Do not pay attention to the perceived interest level of the girl or if she’s not giving you indicators of interest or if she seems not invested or engaged.  Some girls are shy.  Some girls are just non-reactive as a baseline of their personality.  Some girls are so surprised by what’s going on that they aren’t themselves.  The girls perceived interest/engagement level should not be a factor.  I’ve had girls who gave me one-word responses pretty much the whole convo, girls who were really quiet, girls who didn’t ask me any questions back, girls who were skeptical of what I was doing, etc that still ended up coming out on a date.  And then I’ve also had girls who show “high interest” and were all excited and asked me questions and sent a little heart emoji when I sent my first text and all the traditional signs of interest, who went on to ghost.

Do not calibrate your behavior in the moment based on what you think the girl is thinking.  Most of the time you’ll be wrong.  Shit, girls don’t even know what they’re thinking half the time (it’s all jokes, guys, don’t cancel me #respectwomyn).

Ok so that about wraps it up.  If you’re just starting out, I would recommend sticking as close to this as possible for your first 50-100 approaches.  DON’T CHANGE IT!  Don’t get 10 approaches in and because you got a lot of positive/negative/whatever reactions, decide to go off script.  You need to get comfortable enough with this that it becomes second nature.  It needs to be burned into your brain so that you could do it in your sleep.  You need BARE MINIMUM 50 approaches so that you can get a decent variety of reactions/situations with it.  Just stick to the script.  No matter what happens, just stick to the script, even if in the moment it seems a little weird/uncalibrated.  You need to get used to having a plan/outcome in mind and sticking to it.  That will develop your frame, something I'm not going to cover here.  If you can’t stick to this regardless of how the interaction goes, how will you stick with your plan when other bumps happen along the way, whether it’s during texting, on a date, or when she’s back at your place?  STICK WITH THE SCRIPT!  I swear to God if you deviate I will personally come there and rip your dick off with my bare hands no homo (maybe slight homo).

Ok that’s it.  Go out and do it