Any older virgins successfully turned it around?

redhonkey34 · 2014-04-07T19:45:57+00:00

Hugh Hefner didn't lose his virginity until 22.

rickrossroll · 2014-04-07T15:50:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TheSicilianDude · 2014-04-07T17:17:42+00:00

Keep going for any girls you're going for and let it happen naturally. I didn't lose mine until 23, so you're not in that bad of a boat. The worst thing you can do for yourself is overthink it. Do your best not to worry about it and when the time comes, just have fun.

jfe79 · 2014-04-07T17:24:31+00:00

35 and still a virgin here. I am taking steps though in changing this. Some examples: I'm reading a book called "How to be a 3% Man" by Corey Wayne (pickup/dating/relationship advice), getting LASIK eye surgery soon (since I hate glasses and really self-conscious about it), getting braces to correct my teeth (since I'm REALLY self-conscious about my smile), and simply getting out more (I don't get out enough and now I'm forging a friendship with a guy at work that gets out way more than me). Most of this is really to boost my self-confidence and what not.

On a side note, I was all starting to do this back like 10 years ago, turning my life around and stuff, when BAM, I get diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer. :(

Edit: Forgot that I decided to also start college a few years ago, to get out of these depressing, minimum-wage, go nowhere jobs I've had since graduating high school.

SockGnome · 2014-04-07T18:38:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

turkeysub7 · 2014-04-07T16:00:29+00:00

A few weeks before I lost my virginity the girl I was seeing asked me when the last time I had sex was. I said "Its been a while.. Ive never had sex. Never had the right opportunity with the right person". A few weeks later we were having sex 3 times a day.

You dont necessarily need to tell your partner that you are a virgin but my point is that you need to be confident about it. Confidence is probably the most common thread in this sub and this matter is no different.

EDIT: I was 19 and also felt like everyone else had experienced it already

Renatusisk · 2014-04-07T16:41:28+00:00

Nope. :(

TheSicilianDude · 2014-04-07T19:28:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Pantalooney · 2014-04-07T17:35:33+00:00

I've talked to a lot of chicks on the issue of virginity and suprisingly a lot of them dont mind, they actually would like to take a guys virginity. It makes them feel special. If the girl is not a whore who bases her relationships only on sex it will go well. You just have to pick the right girl and be honest.

As a person who lost his virginity at 21, you are not late, losing your virginity is not a race.

roccodai1 · 2014-04-07T18:09:04+00:00

almost - 30 year old virg, i cry myself to sleep almost every other night ...metaphorically speaking....anyway

Don't worry, you are not in too bad a shape and still fairly young. Just think about what is holding you back and then work through it

Nate32 · 2014-04-07T20:13:06+00:00

I am 23 and a virgin, i had talks with some female friends who told me they'd be willing to take my v-card. I have some issues to settle before i decide to go for it, but it did help me worry less about proving myself. If possible for you, see if your friends (that you want to have sex with and not regret it) would be willing. Because they are your friends, they can be helpful towards your anxiety and calming your fears of being inexperienced. There is a.... less nicer way, you find a girl you would like to have sex with, but don't care to keep her as a friend or girlfriend and just go for it and forever anguish in how you lost your virginity to that girl.

thrwawysed · 2014-04-07T18:33:49+00:00

Yes, lost my virginity at 28. Online dating has been a huge help in getting positive momentum for me. I still have a hard time doing cold approaches, but rest of my game I'm more comfortable with.

I wasn't expecting anything from this date, but one thing led to another. The conversation of being a virgin never came up.

Many girls on OkCupid, Tinder, etc. are looking to have sex just as much as you are. Use it to your advantage to get out there and gain experience.

StupidWes · 2014-04-07T17:02:55+00:00

Inner game. Read all of the things on inner game

WideFoot · 2014-04-08T01:17:19+00:00

I lost it at 23 to a beautiful girl with whom I was in a very good relationship (now, sadly ended). I let her know what was going on and why I was so nervous, and she was very cool with it all.

But, I prefer Laci Green's idea of calling it your "Sexual Debut." I think it's a healthier that way and makes it seem more under your control.

NYCman11229 · 2014-04-07T18:15:58+00:00

My transformation as a person to the man I am today started at 19 years old. I 2 months I turn 22 and 2 weeks ago I lost my virginity. And I didn't think anything of it. It does not mean anything. I enjoyed not because of the physical pleasure it gave me (which it didn't give me a lot because I had a condom on and wasn't used to it) but, because I connected with the person who I was with.

I told her that, that time with her was my first time and she just seemed a little surprised. Due to whatever circumstances were not seeing each other anymore, but that short time taught me a lot. I started r/NoFap and now I have more energy for other things and don't always revert to that, and I realized it's not hard to get to the point where you hook up with a girl for a k-close, or f-close, but it is challenging to truly connect with someone on a personal level.

I think for you, it will have be an easier time if you approach girls with the mentality that you already slept with them so you get rid of that mental block, so their will be nothing keeping you back from being your best self around them.

2014-04-07T18:48:03+00:00

I am still very insecure and part of this may be because of my virginity

This is a huge part of it. Get out there and lose that v-card and stop overthinking everything. I was once like you.

general_smog · 2014-04-07T20:20:40+00:00

i was a few days before my 22nd birthday. never thought id ever get laid. the few chances i had were terrible and girls never seem to be interested in me. randomly messaged this girl i used to know because i saw something on her myspace (was a long time ago) that we had in common. she is a cool and pretty decent looking girl but i actually wasnt trying to hook up with her. for some reason she started hitting me up once a week for the next month or two but i kept blowing her off cuz i was scared. finally i hung out with her and she practically raped me. not really but she def wanted it and pretty much forced it to happen and then we ended up dating for a year lol. i had problems in the past with porn induced ED which is why i was scared but at this point i had quit porn for awhile so everything worked fine. couldnt of been better timing.

Zmirburger · 2014-04-07T22:48:00+00:00

I'm 25 and I still am, but I'm hoping for the best

tails2tails · 2014-04-07T23:23:51+00:00

Are you fuckin kidding me? Just play up the whole "I'm a respectful man and didn't want to force it upon my partners, as well as i wanted to wait for the right time."

No one, will give, a shit.

rizzmatik · 2014-04-08T03:43:23+00:00

20 year old virgin... i'm with you, we're still young though

lildrinkypoo · 2014-04-08T04:36:51+00:00

Hey man,

I feel your pain. I was in the same situation a few years ago at 23 years old, and managed to escape. This is what I did to get my first sexual experience.

Unsubscribe from this subreddit. I don't think it's the right mindset for virgins. It objectifies women, while putting them on a pedestal by dedicating ones life to pursuing women. Women must NOT be the most important thing in your life.
Live with passion . Do what you always wanted to do. For me, I always dreamed of travel. So I moved to South Korea, met new friends and travelled to over 6 countries in that year. You don't have to do something so drastic as that, but it's important to pursue what makes you happy, as it's addicting to women when they spot passion in a man. Paint, play soccer, climb mountains, whatever you love to do, stop making excuses and do it.
Meet and socialize with people regularly, both men and women. Befriend women and don't automatically try to pursue her, even if she's beautiful. You will learn that women are imperfect just like men, and learn a lot about how to act around then, plus you will meet other Gia through them. Meet people through clubs, meet ups, work, sport etc. It is important to make an effort to socialize. Laugh, have fun, and try to plan events when possible like a BBQ, small party, pub night, board game night, whatever. Provide VALUE to others and you will meet many people
Exercise. It makes you look and feel great, and teaches discipline. Never stray from your workout plan, and look at your body in the mirror three months from when you started. You WILL look much better.
Make an effort to dress better. Check out the Male fashion advice subreddit.

That's pretty much it man. Live your life and have goals and things you want to do and see. My first lay wasn't great (and the girl wasn't that great either) but I learned that women are much more then there looks, and I got over the mental hurdle. I soon met a great girl shortly after.

It's really that simple man. Unsubscribe from this subreddit. It has it's own value, but it's not right for you right now. I can recommend you two excellent books though.

Mark Manson-"Models"
Dr Robert A Glover- No more mr. Nice guy.

Read nothing else and don't you dare ever use a routine again. Good luck, and please pm me if you want anymore help

jp_lolo · 2014-04-08T12:56:11+00:00

Hello. I am a female. I scan this subreddit because I find it helpful for advice that can go both ways. I finally "got some" for the first time as a 32 year old. I am similar to you in that I've been told I'm attractive, am fit, slim, smart... and have had the opposite sex pursuing me. But I am shy and old fashioned in certain ways. I found it was best to find someone for my first time who was already experienced, and wouldn't mind unexpected surprises. You could remind your girl that she might have to take the lead your first time together because you're shy, but that you will try hard to please her and will take advice. There's no harm in that. I didn't mention it was my first time, because I didn't want to freak him out or give him any unnecessary ego. But we both ended up having a good time, and started figuring each other out quickly. I think many new sex couples have to figure each other out, it's not just a virgin thing. So, if I were you, I would just read up on some educational literature so that when things aren't working, you are equipped with real world ideas on how how to change it up. I find that even if it's embarrassing, honesty (without full disclosure) is best. That means, you can tell her you're inexperienced, but that doesn't mean you have to tell her you are completely clueless and that she might be wasting her time. If she asks you a direct question, don't lie if you can prevent it. Starting off with lies is a bad start if it turns out that you wanna keep getting with her. Good luck!

ThePUA_Baddie · 2014-04-07T19:23:28+00:00

I feel like I'm the youngest here when I lost my virginity. I lost it at age 18 and it's been like 10 months since then. Honestly it all doesn't matter. All your physical success with women will mean nothing at all if you don't have a solid, confident and well grounded mindset. I've probably made out with over 5 different girls in the pass 3 months and even after losing my virginity long term wise you don't feel different. Let this be the realization to you that physical pleasures cannot change you no matter what they are. After you lose your virginity you may feel a rush of confidence but that is only short termed and not what you want. You shouldn't let your past successes make you feel like you're the shit. You should feel like the shit because you know you are and if you can manifest this then you'll be well grounded consistently as a person

EternalOptimist829 · 2014-04-07T23:00:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

HappyJerk · 2014-04-07T15:31:31+00:00

I lost my virginity at 21 and now at age 30 I've dated/banged all kinds of crazy women (playboy playmates, models, pop stars, etc..)

EDIT: why are you downvoting me? I'm trying to give OP some motivation. Damn haters!!

AnnTauz · 2014-04-07T19:44:06+00:00

You should make love with someone you love, forcing yourself will not make anything better, it only will make you more anxious and stressed, if you make love with someone you love you surely will enjoy it and you will see the face of the erotism, not only spontanous sex. Stop thinking about sex defining confidence, see confidence in knowing how to respect yourself and give logical and nice advices to yourelf PM me if you need more help.

brucebwang · 2014-04-07T18:26:28+00:00

Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed about, sex is great but still so overrated. If you really want to be someone that gets girls' attention, you need to stop judging yourself based on what society says and what the media makes being 21 out to be. You're the only one in charge of your happiness and if you spend all your time worrying about what others will think then no one will want to be around you

eggsy · 2014-04-07T21:41:28+00:00

Some great advice here. You don't need my help. I would just say flirt with everyone make it become natural and not something you pretend to do. Then it will be clear you are having fun and they will too. I had a similar worry when i was 24 but it works out i assure you!

taxesrambler · 2014-04-07T21:55:49+00:00

Yeah just do whatever you have to get it done. Don't worry too much about who it is with, even if you have to go for a girl who isn't highly attractive just find one you feel comfortable with as long as there are a few things you like about her. RSDNation is great and will help a lot in relating to women so check that out. The more girls you get with the easier it is to get girls because your confidence goes up, so don't be afraid to find a good "starter" girl. Just get it in man. Make up your mind to get laid and get it done. You are not even that old so of course you can turn things around. Your biggest problem right now is your attitude. Don't worry you will get it figured out. Remember you are the result of millions of years of sexual reproduction. Every one of your ancestors fucked something and this led to you. People fuck and you will get yours. Good luck my friend.

Gallows9 · 2014-04-07T22:09:16+00:00

I didn't sleep with a girl until I was 20. After it happened the only thing I could think was "Seriously? This is what I was afraid of?" The sex itself as I would later learn was the definition of awful, but neither of us knew it at the time.

Just get it out of the way. It's not a big deal. Hell, I bet there are hordes of college girls out there that think being some guy's first would be awesome.

rim_trabajo · 2014-04-07T22:58:42+00:00

All is not lost my friend. One of my true PUA buddies, a man now much bolder than myself, was originally a 23 yr old kissless virgin who delved into the books and material in an effort to turn it around. He is now approaching all the time and closing with a variety of women on a near constant basis. I think you will find that once you start to attract and retain women, you enter a darker period I like to call the "validation quest" where suddenly the object becomes to constantly fill the ever growing void inside yourself that you thought getting laid would cure. I can only speak from my own observations and experiences hah.

Kaeloso · 2014-04-07T22:59:56+00:00

eh I'm 27 and still a virgin but I stopped giving a shit if I am a virgin or not. Problem is my biggest phobia, being infected with an STD and partly because of my anxiety. I just becareful who I date or mess around with and always bring it up.

txroller · 2014-04-07T23:48:55+00:00

someone else said to not put "the pussy on a pedestal" I concur. Also, dating & getting laid just doesn't happen. It takes work (look at it as a part-time job) with being on several dating sites (OKCupid, POF, Tinder, etc) checking it every day and working at it.

edit... You should also put yourself out there like doing Meetups with ppl with similar interests. Going to places where you have an opportunity to meet ppl. you should set min hrs per week to put into ea of these endeavors and stick to it

throwway1111110 · 2014-04-08T00:01:27+00:00

I was in a pretty similar situation a few years ago, let me just say the day to day bummer of this is really a lot to deal with.

Let me be clear: it does eventually happen. You're fine.

I tried to improve myself as a person and improve my life in ways I could control.

I got a job, got an apartment, starting reading seddit, dressing better, etc. and it really worked.

Moving to nyc helps too ;)

Eventually I was happy enough with myself that I didn't feel ashamed anymore and I could get over my mental/ internal bullshit.

Cheers!

merzen · 2014-04-08T00:48:41+00:00

lost it at 24 by going out 4+ nights a week, reading everything here and more, and being open to new things/experiences. took me about 6-7 months.

I was fortunate to be able to not let my virginity effect my mindset too much. I decided that the only way I was going to get rid of it was to not treat it as a something bad and not apologize for it. granted I never told the first girl that I was a virgin, but she never asked. I didn't bring it up because I decided it would absolutely not be a factor. I wouldn't apologize for cumming early, either.

Acid_Rain_Drops · 2014-04-08T01:15:06+00:00

first time i had sex was at 26 and after having sex with a few other women, i realized women are just as terrible at sex if not worse than men are. had i known this the first time i had sex i wouldnt have been as nervous and wouldnt have had so much thought in my mind when engaging in the act the first time. sex doesnt get real good until after you have slept with the same person a few times and are comfortable with them and you both know what you like and dont like.

magicroot75 · 2014-04-08T01:23:56+00:00

I lost it last week to a chick on OK Cupid. I'm 25. It felt pretty good. She wasn't that attractive tho. I had a little talk with her about me being a virgin. She actually asked if I was because I was showing a lot of discomfort (religious guilt). Turned out I'm really damn good. She was cumming constantly for about an hour.

Be thankful you're tall, there are many women who will want you just for that. You have to start talking to women and expressing our interest. Don't look for results. Express yourself. Once you've done that for a while, you will see what works and what doesn't. You can get a feel for what a girl that likes you looks like and what an honestly disinterested girl is. You have to put yourself out there and start having fun. Don't focus on results, focus on honest self-expression.

jayp7 · 2014-04-08T01:54:24+00:00

I lost my virginity last year at 25 years old.

First off don't worry about how it will be. Mine was fucking amazing. Even the first couple of times where we tried and I couldn't get it up I got her off other ways and she was totally cool- I think you'd find most girls would be- And then when I did get it up... HOLY SHIT. I was an unstoppable beast for like a month. And of course a bunch of that was her or that we clicked, or, whatever. The big point is that the idea that your first time is a nightmare to just be "gotten over with" is bullshit. You have no idea.

Heck maybe the best thing about sex is how goddang 'natural' it is! You share the experience almost every other animal on the planet and we depend on it to keep existing: believe it or not evolution hasn't just left you to "figuring it out" from a combination of porn and teen sex comedies. Soooo much if it is JUST 'listening' to her body & expressions and your own and losing yourself in it.

As for what actually helped, I would suggest 3 things: [EDIT: I don't know why all of those are 1's, they go 1,2,3 here]

Work on the bare bones of socialization. Get numbers and hangout with people. All people. If you meet a dude who ya have fun joking with get his number and hangout. Ya meet a chick you click with but she’s married? Get her number! Definitely make sure you’re exposing yourself to interacting with women, but enough is fine.

It’s good to get this practice. Second this is how you build your social group and these people know single women. Thirdly, and I know with the white whale it doesn’t seem important but these are relationships that can be as worthwhile as the ones you have with chicks you bone.

Make positive changes you want to make. You probably know a few:

Exercise or play a sport. Work on your art, whatever that is. Whatever. I think when I lost mine I was getting into meditation.

Put these things into motion, and… just trust it. Trust yourself. For a little while. Trust that you’re doing what you need to do. You’re not doomed to virginity, you’re not a freeeeeak- you’re exactly who you need to be, doing exactly what you need to be doing and it needs time to develop. YES! Even more time, even though, fuck, do I know how unbearable that can sound.

Last I’ll say that somewhat interestingly I was talking to young female therapists both when I lost my V and in my most recent sexual relationship. Of course this could be pure coincidence, but I think there is something really positive about expressing these facts and anxieties to a woman roughly in your range and seeing that it's fine. And there's also something about the directness of therapy that's great: It's not a PUA article, it's not a podcasts or something else coming through the techno-void. It’s another human being you can scream your anxieties to and that other human says "You're going to be okay". That's powerful.

hairaware · 2014-04-08T01:58:20+00:00

Dont tell girls you're a virgin, be confident, and be sexual.

EternalOptimist829 · 2014-04-08T02:08:45+00:00

So I'm not a virgin but I have been clueless. Before Seddit I talked to and acted around women all wrong. I'm kinda cute (so I've been told by quite a few girls) so the only times I'd hook up was when aggressive girls came on to me. But the first time that happened I was 21.

Since Seddit though I can see the difference. You can just tell which girls are DTF and it's way more than I thought before. And when I talk to them now I can see them slowly fall for me. Its crazy.

andalite_bandit · 2014-04-08T02:23:06+00:00

Online dating is pretty cool.

mandysauras_rex · 2014-04-08T02:47:46+00:00

From a 22 year old girl's perspective, there's no shame in being a virgin. I lost my virginity when I was 20, and I regret every second of it. I know sex is different for guys, blah blah blah. But if you find the right girl, the fact that you're a virgin will make zero difference to her. Most of my friends were having sex in high school, I had felt completely out of the loop and like there was something wrong with me. Now, I wish with every fiber of my being that I had waited until I had found someone with whom I could be comfortable about it, not ashamed. It should be treated as something special and important, as corny as that sounds. Just relax, dude. It'll happen when it's right. Don't let it hold you back, you'll find someone who will appreciate you more for it, not demonize you.

JohnXSky · 2014-04-08T02:57:30+00:00

im 17 and 22 doesn't seem THAT old. At least you aren't 40.

chocorroles · 2014-04-08T03:05:05+00:00

I wasn't that old, 22 (almost 23) at the time I "finally" lost my virginity. I thought that I was getting behind, missing on the best thing ever and other stuff that you probably think right now.

But you know what, I was waiting for a good girl who I really liked to lose my virginity. And it was the smartest thing I could have done.

You know, that first time... WAS pretty embarrassing. I started off well, but soon the pressure cracked me and I was unable to keep it up. Yeah, that bad.

The girl was really nice to me, told me to just brush it off and that these things happen. Of course I felt like shit but I got better with time. She helped haha.

I ended up dating her, and eventually we broke up (we were together only 4 months). Went out to dates with some other girls (2 or 3 perhaps), but I still was to unexperienced/scared, seeking for their approval. Luckily, that same year, my semester abroad started. I met a lot of people from lots of countries, and I slept with some of the girls.

So I was up to 4 girls now. Yay me! Then I found out this subreddit.

I am good looking and fit, I attended a good college and studied a cool major. I had everything. Still do ;)

I just needed to understand that, girls are as lucky to be with me as I am to be with them.

I transformed my cockiness into confidence, and started dating a lot. Having fun, meeting girls everywhere. Learning to face rejection. Whatever.

I'm proud to say that it got a lot better. Nothing extreme, but right now, I would prefer to find a good girl to be with, than just one night stands.

So yes, it gets a lot better.

Luckyluke23 · 2014-04-08T03:06:04+00:00

22?! 22 is NOTHING man. I lost mine at 20.

you are not looking at the big picture. you are a tall, slim, quick witted, fun personality, been told I'm conventionally good looking guy.

yet, you are letting inexpereince stiffle you.

the girl dosen't care if you are a virgin or not. she sleeps with you Because you are a tall, slim, quick witted, fun personality, been told I'm conventionally good looking guy!

it's all about the law of "state transference" IE: what you feel, the girl will feel. if you are a happy confident guy, and FEEL this.. she will feel it too.

so get out there man! start approching. I have no doubt in 6 months this wont be an issue for you if you go out for 3 days a week for the next 6 months.

ThrowingAwayThatDude · 2014-04-08T03:09:51+00:00

22 is definitely not that old and the reality is, you're putting a lot more pressure on it than is ever necessary. You don't have to lie to get laid, in fact, the topic doesn't even have to come up. I lost my virginity at 21 to an ex-girlfriend and she didn't even know it was my first time. I only told her after we finished and she was shocked because she couldn't even tell.

Don't worry about virginity because it's a pointless label that's going to hold you back from achieving what you want. It really doesn't matter as much as you think. Try to develop more confidence in yourself and your abilities and just go with the flow. Things might work out much better than you could have ever anticipated. :)

SneakyGary · 2014-04-08T03:11:13+00:00

It comes down to one thing. But I'll explain this in more than one word.

You say you're lacking confidence. It happens, no worries. Everybody has been nervous around girls at some point, it's a part of life. How do you get around this? Simple. Just realize that if a girl is judging you because you're unconfident, is she really somebody you want to be affiliating yourself with? I'm not going to say "there's plenty of fish in the sea." That idiom has been beat to death. There's a saying I've lived by for years: "Onto the next one." If something doesn't work out, oh well, onto the next one. Their loss. If they didn't see your value, it's their problem, and it sucks for them because they won't get to experience what you have to offer.

You have most of the key components: personality, looks, fun personality, etc. Now you just need to gain confidence, and you do that by realizing that YOU ARE something to be desired. There are millions of girls looking for a funny, good looking, intelligent guy, like yourself. If that one sloot who found out that you're a virgin suddenly decided that you weren't "good enough" for her fun hole, who freaking cares. Onto the next one, her loss. You didn't wanna be all up in that anyway if that's how she's going to act, am I right?

Just remember that when you're talking to a girl, she's just another human being. She isn't some prize to be conquered. She's somebody to have fun and laugh with. Once you get her laughing, throw on the moves, joke with her, get a little kino in there. Kino? Now that's a power word! Kino is physical contact intended to increase attraction. It can be anything from a teasing bump on the hips to a light hand on the small of her back.

Once she realizes that you can make her laugh, she's going to want more. She's going to see what you have to offer, and she's going to want more. You make her happy, and that's what woman look for. From there, it's smooth sailing. Just remember that there's no reason to be nervous, because you're something to be desired. A good woman wants you just as much as you want them.

AFormidableContender · 2014-04-08T03:31:48+00:00

Seems like these comments are mostly men here. So i'll take a stab. 20 something female here.

The key is confidence. Truly knowing how to carry yourself and owning who you are is key. If that is rocked or suffering in any way we will notice. Be a gentleman, be the man that you envision yourself to be. This will attract girls who you can bring home to your mom, not a one night stand. (Depending what you are looking for of course)

Don't think about sex when you first meet a girl, get to know her and when it gets to the point of sex let her know. If shes a good woman she will understand and guide you through instead of scoffing and walking away. Were not that harsh.

Give yourself some credit, you sound like a great guy and the more you let this get to you, the more you're setting yourself up for failure.

jcjavo · 2014-04-08T03:32:01+00:00

I lost it at 23 .. its no big deal dude, I lost it to a girl I was in a serious relationship with. Of course I sucked.. I mean relatively.. but not as bad as it could have been.. she really cared for me so it didn't matter, we got better at it together and no big deal..

We aren't together anymore, but it definitely wasn't the sex that brought us apart, if anything it is what kept us together a little bit too long.

Tl;Dr don't be afraid of sucking, its common

donwalter · 2014-04-08T03:38:02+00:00

I was 22. I lie about it and say I was 17 if I'm ever asked. Not a lot has changed since then actually, making out leads to deep kissing and fondling which always leads to sex. Watch porn and just do what they did and even the first time is good. To this day I still go down (if its clean) to make a girl cum, which is by far the biggest turn on for me, and keeps her coming back for more.

zer0nix · 2014-04-08T03:46:03+00:00

Embarrassment is nothing more than an opportunity to laugh at yourself and to improve.

As long as you can embrace a challenge, are at least a little bit assertive, and can laugh at yourself and be open to the idea of self improvement, you can get past almost any social challenge.

jtfahyo · 2014-04-08T03:48:32+00:00

Was a 29 year old virgin 3 years ago. You already know the answers... "live your life like you are the hero in your own movie" because you are. Sex is just a thing....like bacon. They're great, but not life changing. That quote is. Joe Rogan said it or something close on his podcast.

Drogean · 2014-04-08T04:21:01+00:00

lost it at 26 way after college. was a fatty introvert my entire life. finally got my shit together years after graduating. got into shape and started pickup.

went to the RSD event in vegas and lost it a few months after the week long event cuz i went out every single weekend. kept doing it for 1-2 years and now have a great sexy gf

once you have sex you're seriously going to be like "uum... thats it?" its cool but sex for me is really about validation of having a hot chick really into you

time_and_again · 2014-04-08T08:37:03+00:00

Just gonna chime in late here. I was 25. I had a lot of opportunities before then and messed it up by having the wrong mindset: thinking it wasn't gentlemanly of me or worried it meant a big commitment.

What turned it around was meeting an awesome girl online, taking her on a few dates and just doing it on the third without a huge ceremony or hullabaloo. The fact that she had a rockin' bod really helped too. Like best boobs I've ever been with. Ahem. But really, she wanted to do it just as much. It had been a while for her too. She was more worried about her own performance to spare any thoughts towards mine. I didn't tell her it was my first time until later and I think she found it hot in retrospect.

I think there's a... narrative going around that makes some guys think women are all highly experienced sex pros that will judge our every move. But most people are just as self-conscious as anyone else, so there's not much to truly worry about. Honestly, I think the biggest hurdle isn't having sex, it's having to start all over again when a relationship inevitably falls apart. Learning enough Game to make it to the first time is trivial compared to the Game you need to keep doing that over and over until you land on something that lasts. At least in my opinion.

HowIFuckTheSky · 2014-04-08T09:13:25+00:00

I'm 24 years old.

Last september, I went on /r/nofap, started dieting and exercising properly and making an effort to be more social even got a professional haircut for the first time in 7 years.

All sorts of amazing things happened since then.

I was never ugly nor too fat or skinny, but I did make an effort to make my body look better and it paid off. Don't be afraid to ask for advice, by the way.

Last saturday I lost my virginity and it was amazing for both me and her.

The_shiver · 2014-04-08T21:35:26+00:00

Hmm claims to be a fun persona, claims to be fairly good looking, claims to be a nervous wreck around women, is a virgin. Thinking thinking. AH HA! Go find a cougar bar! They love taking virginities!

2014-04-07T21:20:22+00:00

19 year old virgin here. It bums me out but I feel like I'm holding out for something good. I don't want to blow the experience on some skank I don't care about. Virginity is really a social construction. Holds relatively little value if you have or haven't lost it. Just focus on being a quality person. If you like you, if you take interest in improving yourself than you are a thousand times better than an experienced guy who doesn't care. Yes you may not have sex experience but I think it's safe to say guys who have their shit together have a higher chance of getting laid than those who do not.

guisar · 2014-04-07T23:21:58+00:00

Hire a older sex worker and get the mechanics overwith. Older so they can help you relax.

x0diego0x · 2014-04-07T22:24:52+00:00

Get a prostitute, and fuck the shame out of you.

Whalers7997 · 2014-04-07T21:18:48+00:00

Are we still on this? How many times must this dead horse be beaten?

marvinwaitforit · 2014-04-07T23:40:39+00:00

Damn... I thought I was late at 17. Alright, just don't stress about it. Your at the age the next girl you get semi serious with will wanna do it. Just focus on living, having fun, meeting new people. The girl will come soon enough, let her control it if you think your going too fast. Once she tries to take your shirt off, the light is most likely green.

zfinisher · 2014-04-07T19:06:17+00:00

The quicker you lose your v-card, the faster you can become a player. It's all about experience

Title	Any older virgins successfully turned it around?
Author	yankeehotelfoxtr0t
Upvotes	149
Comments	173
Date	April 7, 2014 3:20 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/22fikq/any_older_virgins_successfully_turned_it_around/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/any-older-virgins-successfully-turned-it-around.1368791 https://theredarchive.com/post/1368791

Comments