Women truly do not care if you’re unattractive like you think we do. It’s truly about confidence and charm….

jplpss · 2025-03-22T17:20:25+00:00

Low effort bait. Where's the adm?

Ok_Cook_3098 · 2025-03-22T17:06:00+00:00

Do you have any data or study actually undermining this.

Its just, i know there is a ton of proving you wrong.

Dertross · 2025-03-22T17:20:51+00:00

The women on PPD are always saying, "personality and confidence is more important than looks...if I'm already sexually attractived"

Because they don't seem to understand what a standard is. OP doesn't either.

Also, OP is another person who doesn't understand. No one gives a fuck about your anecdote. We care about the statistics. It's like saying, "never giving up is more important" when someone tells you that gambling is a losing proposition.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-03-22T17:03:48+00:00

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ruthpalo · 2025-03-22T17:09:27+00:00

pure bullshit.

1a. confidence and charm come naturally to attractive men.

Lovers691 · 2025-03-22T19:43:50+00:00

Everyone here is making fun of you/saying you’re wrong but hasn’t posted any research showing you’re wrong so I will. A meta analysis by Eastwick et al. shows that looks predict romantic choices for men and women at almost the same amounts, it was r=.43 for men and r=.4 for women, the correlation was strong and the difference wasn’t significant. There is also another study by Eastwick showing that it is looks>personality>money for both men and women in terms of actual relationship success/revealed preferences not stated preferences. There is also a study by Fugère et al. which shows that personality traits only start to matter once you move past a certain looks threshold.

In shorts, looks are the most important factor for mate selection in men and women and for women, personality only starts to matter once you get over the looks threshold in heterosexual relationships at least. I can easily concede that it may or may not apply to female homosexual relationships because I personally don’t care about them.

habbo311 · 2025-03-22T17:22:58+00:00

Why don't women feel the same need to be extra confident and charming? Why is EVERYTHING the man's job? So damn tiresome

SituacijaJeSledeca · 2025-03-22T18:25:27+00:00

I have less attractive versions of Brad Pitt as friends and trust me, they only get by on looks.

ProtectionPolitics4 · 2025-03-23T02:08:35+00:00

Strongly disagree. If you're Brad Pitt hot, you literally get approached by women nonstop.

Yeah yeah, "don't believe your lying eyes" is what some people will try and say. Truth is the top <5% of men looks wise have their pick of the prettiest women.

mertvayanadezhda · 2025-03-22T17:18:35+00:00

i don't care about confidence, i'd never date someone i'm not attracted to

justdontsashay · 2025-03-22T17:28:34+00:00

So your basis for this claim about how women view men is…one anecdote of a lesbian relationship?

Looks aren’t the only thing that matters. I’ll take an average looking man whose personality clicks with mine over a hot asshole any day. But looks do matter, physical attraction matters.

It just doesn’t always matter in the very specific way that men here claim it does. Physical attraction can be about things other than someone’s level of conventional attractiveness. Some women don’t care much about height, most of us don’t care at all about dick size, some of us don’t want ripped muscles and prefer a bit of a dad bod etc. So the things men use to measure who we’ll find attractive can be flawed. But saying that looks aren’t a factor in physical attraction is stupid, of course they’re a factor.

KamuiObito · 2025-03-22T17:08:13+00:00

Bi women in general tend to be more open..first time I went clubbing I got lucky at with a 2fem bi couple..and they came to me.

Incognito2362 · 2025-03-22T19:05:48+00:00

I already knew posting actual bullshit was allowed here if you're a woman, but damn...

OKSector69 · 2025-03-22T20:48:48+00:00

I’ve noticed a lot of young lesbian couples where one is hot and one is not. That has absolutely nothing to do with men dating straight women.

Efficient-Baker1694 · 2025-03-23T07:03:47+00:00

Women absolutely truly care about a man’s looks. Yes confidence and charm are needed but they are not as important as a man’s looks. Especially in today’s world where women (and men) have created unrealistic standards for each other as far as being in a relationship. Whenever a woman first comes across a man, the first thing she see is his looks. That’s the part that gets the door open. If the woman sees him ugly, she’s quickly shutting that door and never opening it.

LaterOrSooner · 2025-03-22T17:22:59+00:00

Attractiveness and confidence go hand in hand however attractiveness is always going to be the bigger factor.

It’s like when people say “Hardwork > Talent” when in reality talent is the variable.

KingBembi · 2025-03-24T03:03:14+00:00

This is so dumb you used a two women dating as an example that ugly men don't have it that hard. Those situations aren't even comparable ugly women still have more options then ugly men this didnt disproved anything I don't even understand how you could think it would.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-03-22T17:04:49+00:00

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MongoBobalossus · 2025-03-22T17:30:54+00:00

Odds are there’s somebody out there for you, as the reality of the data on people in relationships demonstrates. So your natural looks and charm statistically will probably net you someone provided you aren’t some kind of extreme outlier.

The world isn’t like how all the mentalcels on here portray it as.

ArtifactFan65 · 2025-03-22T22:01:54+00:00

Yes not only do you need to be hot you also must be confident and charismatic to make women attracted to you this isn't a revelation.

berichorbeburied · 2025-03-22T17:15:39+00:00

Yes women use men for other reasons than attraction

Yes most women never approach

So if you’re one of the few who approach you’ll always have a >0% chance

But no

Women do care if you are attractive

They are just Machiavellian and opportunist

They will be with you or have sex with you for other reasons

They just will never actually be attracted to you

man-frustrated · 2025-03-22T17:19:26+00:00

To other women reading this: don't you find posts like this offensive? Do you not feel erased when another woman tries to speak for you and claim you don't care about looks? Do you want men believing that you don't care about looks?

Poppy_Luvv · 2025-03-22T17:29:18+00:00

There is no definitive statement on looks vs personality. It's both but in different ratios for each person (woman).

DragoniteNine · 2025-03-22T18:30:08+00:00

You can't be confident when you have nothing to be confident about. That's arrogance. All of this only assumes you're at-least normal/average looking to begin with (Which I'm not).

But in the case of being physically unattractive, you're much more prone to having long term negative reinforcement and that just knocks your said confident out of your hands (Can confirm this from experience).

just_a_place · 2025-03-23T05:25:13+00:00

I call bullshit because I can attract women just on my looks, confidence and social skills (charm) and still not elicit women's genuine respect. Everything can be perfect, relationshipwise, except for the little fact that women are hypergamous as fuck. So while they have absolutely no issue sucking my dick, flirting, and even "relationshipping" with me, they will just as quickly run after the short, insecure, balding, older excuse for masculine overcompensation just because they make 6 figures, drive a better car and own a bigger house.

Looks, charm, and confidence get men a lot of sex, but getting pussy is not the same as getting her attention, much less her loyalty. Women's dual mating strategy means she will never be fully attracted to any one man, which is why they are always "compromising." They spread for some guys but marry and sell their loyalty to others. The only way you will ever get a woman's full loyalty and whatever passes for "love" with them is if you have all these traits in one body: looks, charisma, wealth and status.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-03-23T10:11:18+00:00

What’s the difference? Both are just as inherently fixed traits.

Riderman43 · 2025-03-23T17:50:11+00:00

This is 100% false. if you’re unattractive at most they’ll see you as a good friend

ViolentShallot · 2025-03-22T17:08:33+00:00

Confidence is a pillar of attractiveness. So is looks. Third is power. You can compensate for the shortcomings of one with an overabundance of another.

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FearlessSea4270 · 2025-03-22T17:30:24+00:00

I mean it’s a combination. When you’re looking for a nice meal to eat you’re not choosing on aesthetics alone, it’s all these other factors that make your body want that meal.

It’s smell, it’s look, the ingredients it’s made up of, the unique flavor profile, maybe there’s a comforting nostalgic quality to it that makes you feel warm and cozy. As humans we make intuitive based decisions every single day, our brains take in thousands of sensory stimuli and give us a feeling or opinion to operate from.

So yeah confidence is a huge part of it. How you present yourself to the world is everything. You could be a Michelin star five star meal but if you’re served on the floor it’s not going to look as enticing or pleasant as it would on a good plate.

No-Buy7459 · 2025-03-22T17:35:21+00:00

Im in the same boat as you. I have severe autism but Im very good looking. Its very easy to hookup with average girls and sometimes hot ones when my game is good as we have something in common etc. I have slept with almost 100+ women but I never had a gf or a fwb last more than 2-3 months.

meteorness123 · 2025-03-22T18:23:16+00:00

"Confidence and charm" are relatively useless if you're significantly less desirable than her (in terms of emotional regulation, appearance and overall competence). As simple as that.

DoubleFistBishh · 2025-03-22T22:09:49+00:00

If you have no standards and literally any woman will do for you then you are correct. Looks do not matter.

GKilat · 2025-03-23T00:09:47+00:00

Physical attractiveness isn't irrelevant no matter the gender. Maybe in everyday and casual life, physical attractiveness is barely relevant but it definitely is when it comes to bed intimacy. It may be true that women are not as visual as men but physical attractiveness still matters. Being average looking isn't a problem with a bit of bed skill but you better have godly bed skill if you are below average in looks.

3stun · 2025-03-23T11:03:58+00:00

Nobody denies that when it comes to attracting women, being super hot does not compensate lack of social skills, and vice versa being super funny but ugly as sh*t will not get you very far. Attraction is combination of everything. To a degree, different traits can compensate each other. But being "below standards" in any regard will almost automatically disqualify you, at least for women who are moderately attractive.

RoseyButterflies · 2025-03-23T12:24:14+00:00

Lets be realistic it's probably 50/50.

50% looks 50% personality lol

Full-Rub-9348 · 2025-03-23T12:46:27+00:00

I appreciate your post even tho it just sounds too simple and easy to be true.

Thanks for trying

Churchneanderthal · 2025-03-23T15:02:27+00:00

Lesbians have different rules and that's all I'm going to say.

Straight women definitely have "types" and the men we like definitely don't have to be even close to conventionally attractive. If people want evidence, hang out with bikers sometimes.

JonMyMon · 2025-03-22T17:13:15+00:00

People on this sub vastly underestimate the effect confidence and charisma has on women.

I don't know if it trumps looks, but it's right there with it.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-03-24T05:05:36+00:00

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Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-03-22T17:46:20+00:00

Men are aware, they just know they don’t know how to be charming/smooth, and definitely aren’t rich

AnonPinkLady · 2025-03-22T17:06:21+00:00

Confidence or charm isn't it for me either. Warmth, Gentleness, compassion, creativity, a good sense of humor, and compatibility are what matters to me. He can be shy and awkward as fuck but if our interactions leave me admiring him as a funny, safe, comforting person with a great quality of character and morals after getting to know him, I'ma fall in love. I'm not attracted to a guy who's charismatic but has zero substance or compatibility with me. It's about how our thoughts and personalities intermingle.

Title	Women truly do not care if you’re unattractive like you think we do. It’s truly about confidence and charm….
Author	FishMap12
Upvotes	0
Comments	166
Date	March 22, 2025 4:59 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jhd1ly/women_truly_do_not_care_if_youre_unattractive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-truly-do-not-care-if-youre-unattractive-like.1547202 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547202

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