What's your biggest "aha!" realization, that seriously increased your results?

norwegiandoggo · 2025-03-27T12:29:33+00:00

That you and the girl on the same team working towards the same goal. It's not a battle where you try to convince her to do something against her will with mental trickery. You should just try to make the ride towards your common goal as smooth as possible. If your goals are too different: don't bother. Find someone else.

SuperPoop · 2025-03-27T13:42:12+00:00

talkers generally do better. If you can get yourself into a talkative, friendly state, you'll have a better outcome.

Sitting on your phone in the corner rarely pulls the hottie.

Love_JWZ · 2025-03-27T12:48:10+00:00

How remaining balanced is everything. You get pushed all the time, by your desires, uncertainty, judgements that bruise your ego. These are moments one tends to lose balance, and either go frantic or silent.

Keep balance, and it'll be a walk in the park.

bruno-vr · 2025-03-27T13:42:15+00:00

When you meet someone or go on a date, the goal is not to “impress her” or “win her over”, the goal is to see whether you’re “compatible or not”

Stop worrying about whether she likes you or not, jf she does she’ll let you know. If she doesn’t, why would you be with someone not really into you?

(If you have to ask yourself whether she likes you or not, chances are she doesn’t)

Rhino3750ss · 2025-03-27T13:53:50+00:00

My eureka moment came when I decided to completely stop trying one night. I just wanted to go to the bar, get a drink and work on my laptop, I wasn't there to meet people.

The girl a few stools away from me brutally rejected 3 men within 20 minutes that cold approached her while she was reading her kindle at the bar. I eventually got up to use the restroom and I had to walk within a couple feet of her so I acknowledged her with a deadpan "sup" and her eyes light up and she introduces herself for no reason and I tell her in a semi condescending way "you were absolutely brutal to those dudes, remind me not to ask you out"...because I was legit not there to meet anyone so I had zero regard for the outcome, I said what I observed.

She then gets closer and says to me "You don't have to ask, I'll just go out with you". We hooked up for a few months. Some years later I asked her how that even happened and she claimed she rarely felt that safe with a guy. Then I start digging deep and doing my homework to figure out what I did right. It was the outcome independence, I gave her a deadpan "sup" when every other guy shifted their emotions when approaching her, and I followed up by saying a true observation that disqualified her. I behaved in a preselected manner completely by accident, and now I know that girls feel safer the more preselected they sense the man is.

JoMoEvoluzine · 2025-03-27T12:17:56+00:00

If they wanted to, they would

GrowCanadian · 2025-03-27T13:11:46+00:00

When I stopped chasing and flipped it to “how would this girl fit into my life and interests.” It filters out a lot of garbage and you get much more compatible girls.

I started friend zoning a lot more girls after this flip and it drastically improved my game. Ask those friend zoned girls to go out and have fun one night. Showing up to an event with a cute girl, even if she’s a friend, shows preselection and boosts your attraction to other girls. Girls also typically have girlfriends that they can introduce you to. That’s how I met the amazing girl I’m seeing now.

RosieArl · 2025-03-27T15:47:35+00:00

Acting cool < having fun.

Life is already too serious, too bleak, too heavy. Let conversations and interactions be about relaxing, lightness, laughing, and having a moment of connection! With ABSOLUTELY NO EXPECTATION from the other person.

Be the kind of person you wish approached you. And be totally okay with 99% of people just being "practice" till you find your people.

I decided that I would not pursue anyone who didn't match my vibe. If I'm doing the leg work of being open, asking, engaging... then anyone that doesn't match it is just not for me, but practice for me to act the way I feel most fun to me.

Pinhead-Larry27 · 2025-03-27T14:16:38+00:00

Women like to have sex too, they just don’t want to be used. It’s pretty simple, women have sexual desires but are so used to men trying to manipulate them to put out. The best advice I can give to anyone is to be honest and respectful. When I learned this I had slept with 6 different women. I started saying to every woman I met “I’m just looking for some fun, if that’s cool with you great and if not that’s totally cool too. We can still be friends if you’re interested”. This is obviously after flirting a bit and gauging interest, usually used early on in tinder/bumble convos. Anyways in about 6 months time I went from 6 to 24 different women I had slept with.

Be respectful (not a push over) and you’ll get laid so easily.

dkopi · 2025-03-27T22:46:04+00:00

In less than 100 years from now you'll be underground. Your flesh will have been decomposed from your rotting corpse and you will be nothing but bones and regrets for all the shots you didn't take.

Life is too short to overthink it. It's too short to waste time fearing rejection or feeling rejection. Just go have fun.

dogstarfugitive · 2025-03-27T12:28:37+00:00

Be memorable. Say what comes to mind. Outcome independence. Walk away for a bit and talk to other people guys and girls. Let them wonder why u left and if you'll come back. Females are emotional creatures who live in the moment. Female jealousy is real and immediate, use it to your advantage. Invite the girl u want back to your place with her friends if she's with friends, have liquor and weed ready. If she's by herself invite her back to your place.

LonerOnSorensen · 2025-03-27T15:38:21+00:00

By initiating the approach, I'm doing her a favour with the opportunity to get to know me.

daryus316 · 2025-03-27T13:59:51+00:00

"I'm too Nice"

Sandvicheater · 2025-03-27T15:46:55+00:00

That women want sex just as much if not more than the guy its she is willing to wait muuuuccchhhh longer before dropping her panties while dudes would drop their jeans on the 1st date THATS why men have always been at a disadvantage in the dating wars since the dawn of time our desperation for sex.

washington_breadstix · 2025-03-27T16:52:54+00:00

Knowing when to give up and move on to another girl.

Healthy_Ad8040 · 2025-03-27T17:48:52+00:00

Seduction and all their variants are not about getting women, are about getting knowledge about yourself.

firee98 · 2025-03-27T12:32:05+00:00

Physical attraction is 70% of everything

RichHomieLon · 2025-03-27T17:10:03+00:00

That the goal isn’t to see if she likes me, it’s to see if I like her. Also just to keep things chill and casual at the start instead of skipping to romance, and let things naturally progress and play out from there. That’s how I got my GF of almost 9 months

somethinlikeshieva · 2025-03-27T12:09:46+00:00

dont think ive had one yet, i guess one way to atleast weed them out is try to be direct as possible to see if theyre really interested. one thing i hate is anyone whos just looking for attention without any real interest, or very low interest

gaifogel · 2025-03-27T14:06:17+00:00

Kino, touch

Electro525 · 2025-03-27T13:08:08+00:00

The I have a boyfriend is not always true. Had a woman say that to me, gave me her contact details couple weeks later we’re going at it.

She told me she said that to see if I was really interested.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-03-27T15:40:32+00:00

Being myself was far more important than trying to emulate the phony "PUA gurus."

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2025-03-27T16:07:53+00:00

Practicing walking like a general. Women do notice it.

hydrolith · 2025-03-27T17:54:37+00:00

My biggest AHA was the value of momentum. I could go from feeling like it's an impossible situation to completely tenable and even achieve enough results that I'm happy with simply by starting, building momentum and keeping it going. By that I mean start small, talk with a family.member, talk with a friend, talk to someone unknown but neutral, then talk to an unnatractive woman, then to a woman mildly interested in, then to one I am interested in, then to more and more that I am interested in and realize I don't feel like the world is against me anymore and so on....

nordik1 · 2025-03-28T00:15:30+00:00

1) A lot of stuff online is too gamey. I got the most results from basic conversation with some physical escalation mixed in. Qualifiers and all this stuff...too much to remember in the moment and can make you come off weird

2) Realizing a lot of women aren't worth the time makes you genuinely not care and be more care free with everything, thus more attractive

water_reducer · 2025-03-27T12:47:32+00:00

natural pheromones

crondawg101 · 2025-03-27T15:49:14+00:00

I watched Seductive Reasoning.

I had one moment after another of suddenly understanding something about women I had previously found baffling

Cactus2711 · 2025-03-27T18:44:44+00:00

That having options is the biggest aphrodisiac

TurboBallsack · 2025-03-27T16:11:26+00:00

girls just wanna have fun & play the game

Lit-Up · 2025-03-27T19:34:28+00:00

That dating event context gives much better odds of success. Sure the events are shit but the women there are looking for something. Beats trying your luck with a girl from some other part of your life.

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-03-28T04:43:54+00:00

Letting go was the only way. Trying to hand logically no matter how hard I tried never got me the results I wanted

Dwerg1 · 2025-03-28T05:04:10+00:00

Feeling good precedes getting the girl, trying to get the girl in order to feel better is always a losing game.

asapberry · 2025-03-28T07:25:48+00:00

getting a bar with a couch where you can sit next to each other instead of in front of each other

Luxenburger · 2025-03-28T22:03:38+00:00

That women are a mirror and they show you a reflection of who you are. If you’re weak timid and you will act in this way. If you are confident in life you will act in this way in front of her. There is soo much you can do outside of your interactions with women to become the right guy in-front of her when you do open

miamiric3 · 2025-03-29T14:54:30+00:00

The difference between a friend and a lover is physical touch.

If you master kino (alongside the rest of your game), you’ll suddenly realize how close you’ve been to success all along.

RandoRambo1 · 2025-03-30T00:02:29+00:00

If you are struggling with dating as a man, it’s not because women’s notch count, women’s attitude, or “hookup culture”, it’s because you are unattractive. Most of your problems as a man really are your fault (a result of your behaviours and choices). And that is great because you also have to power to change, and to improve your lot in life. Biggest realization was my lowest points are my fault and I’m responsible for those as well as having the power to fix my life.

Direct-Law5600 · 2025-03-28T07:37:34+00:00

Look at a girl directly in the eye and have the confidence to tell her how pretty you really think she is. Ask her if she’s single and then just ask her for her number and to make plans for lunch or dinner. It’s really not as hard as all these dudes make it out here.

DrRonnieJamesDO · 2025-03-28T00:18:35+00:00

Saying what you want is 1000% sexier than asking or hinting.

burncushlikewood · 2025-03-28T04:08:40+00:00

I was always good at talking, but I was impatient and too sexually direct, after I started to develop patience, and got the confidence to go for the kiss

MMaximilian · 2025-03-28T08:19:09+00:00

It’s OK to let the woman chase you.

Sit back and do less. It makes you more attractive.

CompassSwingTX · 2025-03-28T16:42:00+00:00

When a woman is feeling feral and wanting it, you don’t have to do much. So much of a man’s success is timing/luck and just not fumbling. Be confident, playful, and play the odds often.

Popular-Copy-5517 · 2025-03-28T16:43:28+00:00

Everyone else is just as insecure as I am

If you disbelieve it, just try considering it for a bit and observing. Notice how often “alpha” dudes get insecure or flustered, try way too hard. Notice how easygoing guys tend to have success. This mindset shifts my perspective dramatically, gives me a centered/grounded vibe that attracts.

VrilHunter · 2025-03-28T19:27:44+00:00

People love to talk about themselves and they'll love you if you listen to them yapping.

So just make her talk while you talk minimal.

yeah280 · 2025-03-29T00:01:08+00:00

talking more after approaching a woman that increased my successrate

vladiVP · 2025-03-29T12:59:20+00:00

You aren't special if she easy, she just s hoe

roccenz · 2025-03-28T11:19:43+00:00

After I wen't from a boy to a man in mindset (most boys never become men, age has nothing to do with it), women were a byproduct. They wanted to be around me. They wanted my leadership and protectiveness. I no longer needed to work for attention.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-03-27T15:43:45+00:00

My ex-wife was the breadwinner and had a nearly $400k salary. But she was extremely short fused with an awful temper and would snap over nearly anything. Very unpleasant to be around over time.

val_br · 2025-03-28T23:01:11+00:00

A bit late to the game, but two things:
1. You can't increase your attractiveness but can decrease your repulsiveness. It's impossible to make more girls find you attractive, but you can reduce the number of girls that find you attractive but don't want to be with you for some other reason.
This means you need to drop things that people find unattractive: no tattoos, no facial hair, no weird clothing. As absurd as it sounds the more average you look are the more chances you get - not because you increase your pool of matches, but because fewer women from that pool think 'there's something wrong with this guy'.
2. Money trumps everything else, by a long shot. This sub likes to overemphasize 'game' to an absurd degree. You don't need game if you're rich, look rich or can offer experiences a rich man could offer (even if it's at a heavy discount to you).

Melodic_Cantaloupe88 · 2025-03-28T02:02:29+00:00

Replacing cheese with eggs

toheebdamilare · 2025-03-28T05:12:39+00:00

You do not pursue -- you allow pursuit to unfold.

When you ask a woman if she has any friends who would enjoy your company, you do several things at once:

You establish social proof – You communicate that you are already desirable. If she perceives you as valuable enough to introduce to a friend, it reinforces your status. Women trust the judgment of other women, and by positioning yourself as someone worthy of being introduced, you let attraction brew through reputation, not direct effort.
You create intrigue and challenge – Instead of outright declaring your interest, you present a subtle test. If she is attracted to you, she may hesitate, considering herself as the best candidate rather than offering a friend. Now, she must justify why she shouldn’t take the opportunity herself. This stirs curiosity and competitive instinct.
You remain in control – Asking directly puts you in a position of requesting approval, of hoping for acceptance. The Mysterious Emperor does not hope—he directs. By letting her suggest someone, you maintain the upper hand. Whether she offers a friend or expresses interest herself, the outcome is always in your favor.
You avoid the mundane approach – The world is full of men chasing, pleading, proving. You are different. You craft a game of power and mystique, where attraction is cultivated, not forced. Women will not see you as just another suitor but as a rare opportunity they must secure before someone else does.

Toonized · 2025-03-29T13:55:15+00:00

Significant-Cow-388 · 2025-03-29T17:22:07+00:00

i actually am very hot

bigblackdikk · 2025-03-27T12:59:45+00:00

slapping down wads of cash. Or your D. Or both

Title	What's your biggest "aha!" realization, that seriously increased your results?
Author	Intimasimplicity
Upvotes	272
Comments	141
Date	March 27, 2025 12:00 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1jl28ku/whats_your_biggest_aha_realization_that_seriously/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-your-biggest-aha-realization-that-seriously.1547796 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547796

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