"Men want sex women want love" my girlfriend said

redidiott · 2025-10-03T15:15:46+00:00

She sounds like she has zero real life experience.

Kuato2012 · 2025-10-03T15:03:58+00:00

How many of the men in those romance stories for women are poor or short or have normal, unglamorous, unsexy emotional responses to things, I wonder. "Whole person" my ass, it's just a different superficiality.

Puzzleheaded_Card_71 · 2025-10-03T16:25:41+00:00

Standard sexist tripe modern women spew. You can either do the work to break her sexists opinions apart, or just walk away, but any women who spews this wouldn’t be worth having as a girlfriend.

sambo_rambo · 2025-10-03T14:40:53+00:00

Women flexing they can get sex is not the flex they think it is.

These deranged people judge everyone on body count. Too many for a girl is a slut. Too few for a guy is an incel.

No shit guys want sex. We've been hardwired for it. Its a bit reductive compared to what she says about herself. Could be just as reductive and say "women just want men to look after them." Women have been hardwired to keep the father around to protect and provide for their kids.

If you really want to talk down to her, tell her you would be offered a relationship with almost any woman you can sleep with. Women can't say the same.

Snoo_78037 · 2025-10-03T15:17:09+00:00

Sex and love shouldn't be mutually exclusive. Sex is unifying. Healthy marriages have healthy sex lives. Men value companionship in the long run.

Tumor_with_eyes · 2025-10-03T17:13:42+00:00

Pfft, she completely ignored your statement about all the men in women’s romance novels being the very definition of “Chad’s” but doubled down on how women want emotional connections.

I mean, sure. They want “emotional connections,” with men who are tall, handsome, rich and powerful. Not the geeky nerd who works in low level IT, even though he’s a nice guy.

If Dorian, from “50 shades of grey” was the richest guy in a trailer park? It would be a horror movie.

Your gf is just being willfully delusional.

Hell, take her to the “Hear me out” section in Barnes and nobles and have her look over the crazy shit women are gooning over. Iirc one of the top sellers is literally a woman “milking” bulls on a farm for big pharma.

And then most women erotic novels center around cheating on their husbands or boyfriends. So there is that.

wants_a_lollipop · 2025-10-03T17:46:00+00:00

She's wrong about at least one thing-

I've experienced a steady stream of sexual advances and harassment while working in several female-majority environments.

IceCorrect · 2025-10-03T16:21:08+00:00

Men look for looks - bad

Women looks for looks, money - good

I've read one of this novel to confirm how emotional it is and it make my dick hard, so men are as emotional as women, or it's just porn

redditforcedmesignup · 2025-10-03T16:09:40+00:00

Women like her will not only fuck, but FALL IN LOVE with a 105-year-old barely breathing living corpse or a morbidly obese man who literally can't stand up AS LONG AS HE'S RICH/ASSHOLE/HAS POWER!

Even a teen boy if he is FAMOUS! Remember that Justin Bieber interview?

PastDifficulty7 · 2025-10-03T14:39:17+00:00

That's quite the grab bag of gender stereotypes. It's the men are from Mars, women are from Venus school of pop psychology.

It's objectively not true. In lab experiments, women experience just as much arousal as men when watching porn (at least with regard to heart rate & other physiological responses.)

Men enjoy romance novels and reading smut. The erotic pleasure of sex is enhanced for everyone by having an emotional experience attached to it. I think the emotional feelings that men and women are chasing are just slightly different; and we don't frame male desire in emotional terms. But, I think it's universal that no one is satisfied by completely emotionless sex.

The "Men are dogs" stereotype excuses bad male behavior, and makes women distrust men in general. It's a type of misandry that common in Conservative circles. Surveys of Christian couples demonstrate that couples who have this type of belief about men are less satisfied with their marriages. It stresses the woman out to be constantly vigilant about her husband's faithfulness, and the man feels unseen.

I don't have time at the moment, but if people care, I can provide the references.

Due-Succotash-7623 · 2025-10-03T16:41:20+00:00

This is such a popular opinion women have of the differences between men and women.

They claim that men are disgusting because they get off to visual sensory information, like watching porn on the computer, but say it's OK for women because it's a novel or a book. This is absurdity and delusion at it's finest.

Studies show that just like how porn triggers certain chemicals and functions in the brain for men, women have these same exact triggers when reading erotic literature.

This lady goes into it very well in this video:

https://youtu.be/ffvRhsViyIQ?si=N619NgRf_AOM53Xm

JACSliver · 2025-10-03T17:58:26+00:00

I wholeheartedly disagree with the "sleep with anything" part. We have standards as well.

UbiquitousWobbegong · 2025-10-03T17:19:58+00:00

Women are very shallow in a different way from men. They're not shallow in the sense that they don't care about a person's personality, backstory, etc. They're shallow in that they are hyper-attracted to only very specific collections of attributes in men.

Also, (some) men may sleep with any attractive woman, but we wouldn't wife them up. Women don't seem to understand how picky we are when it comes to long term relationships because they see that we have relatively low standards for sex.

We're just different. Neither gender is inherently more superficial than the other. But when it comes to fantasizing, both men and women have an archetype in mind of who they are attracted to. Neither of us think of a complex person with traits that are unattractive to us, like real people would have. All fantasies are idealized. And that makes them shallow.

MRA-automatron-2kb · 2025-10-03T18:14:31+00:00

So if men are the superficial ones, why is it women who wear skimpy clothes and who go to nail salons and buy all the make up?

I never hear women tell me about hobbies, about what they fixed, what they made... it's just look at my new leggings, look at my new mini skirt.

If men are the superficial ones, why do women have the 6 foot tall, 6 pack abs, 6 figure income standard?

Mobile_Lumpy · 2025-10-03T17:35:20+00:00

LMAO, guess what is the most popular women novel tend to be? 50 shades of grey, and these novels do not focus on emotions..

SupWitCorona · 2025-10-03T16:14:25+00:00

So she’s a teenager right?

63daddy · 2025-10-03T18:33:59+00:00

Well, romance novels show what women want: an incredibly handsome, wealthy man with no flaws to sweep her off her feet, provide her a extravagant lifestyle and always pug her desires first.

Way more unrealistic than just wanting sex in a relationship.

AbysmalDescent · 2025-10-03T17:43:48+00:00

Men want love too. The differences is that, not only do men not have access to sex the way women do but men must also become experienced and well-versed with sex in order to find love as well, and women do not.

Women read romance novel because they are turned on by the settings and the characters. It's still very much about sex. You cannot have a relationship with a book or a fictional character, and a lot of what they read in those books is often incredibly harmful, toxic and sexist as well. These are settings that they find sexually exciting.

It's also untrue that men don't care about who a woman is. They might not care about who she is if the goal is just to have sex, but they certainly care about who they are if the goal is to build a life. Women expect men to do everything for them in dating(and that's usually what they will find in those books as well) but men still need to build that experience somehow. In order to be considered worthy of love, men need to have sex and be considered sexually desirable by other women.

If women took initiative and romanticized male virginity the way they romanticize experience or dark triad traits, the dating world would look completely different.

Ok-Manufacturer-7842 · 2025-10-03T16:35:19+00:00

Men also look for emotional connection but can perform and enjoy sex without it. That is probably because of a few key reasons.

Women are in general sexually submissive. Being submissive takes trust and connection to work. Therefor women look for this in a man.

Men on the other hand are generally sexually dominant. That requires your partner to respect you and being susceptical to dominance. This is why men often dont want a strong independent woman.

It’s easier to get respect fast than trust and that’s why you need to work a woman to get her started. Respect is incredibly easy to get from people that don’t know you but very hard to maintain. That’s why many relationships end up sexless. Women also need a man that they respect to get sexually aroused. So it’s fair to say that when a woman loses her respect for you, sex is over.

Njaulv · 2025-10-03T17:30:15+00:00

Your girlfriend is extremely naive and her thinking is oddly enough, extremely superficial. Men and women can want both things to a degree specific to that individual. I have read many a romance novel, and love is hardly at the forefront of most of the steamy ones. Men are statistically more turned on by the visual, but women are still there with it too. That does not mean men do not crave love or women are not lustful. Did your gf grow up in some small religious town or something? Spending even a couple of months exploring the world or even going to a city and interacting with different people would show that she is wrong.

Nalyd87 · 2025-10-03T18:11:48+00:00

I sure as hell don't want or believe in "love" anymore.

But i don't even have sexual desires either at this point

I'm functionally just dead inside.

Dear_Archer7711 · 2025-10-03T15:23:01+00:00

I don’t want sex, not purely per se.

I want a woman whom I will be proud of, someone who can complement me. Someone I can bring to a company dinner or a family reunion and absolutely sweep the floor with her intellect, charisma, beauty and confidence. Someone who stimulates me, mentally, emotionally, sexually. Someone whom I trust with our finances, our secrets and our lives. Someone whom I know is fit to be a mother and partner— my one and only other half.

I don’t want a woman who looks at men based on their status and wealth. “Emotions” is bullshit. Any woman who thrives off those “emotions” is just a drama queen who lives on the excitement of being chased by the “top dog”, as though she is the only one who is beautiful enough to catch his eye, to feel special. I get the same feeling when I’m trying to hook up, I guess. But I know, if she’ll let me, she’ll let someone else too. It’s all just juvenile talk.

Anyway OP, your gf is a piece of meat as much as she thinks men looks at women like pieces of meat. One likes the chase and the other likes being chased.

2025-10-03T17:22:29+00:00

First of all not all women are like her. I and many other women like the visuals and not romance novels. I hate romance and erotica because my imagination is far better. I love seeing sexy, nude men, much more arousing than any story. Many women just want sex with no strings attached, many men want a relationship and companionship first. There is no one size fits all. That train of thought is very harmful.

tomsnrg · 2025-10-04T05:58:31+00:00

I worked as a 18 year old male in a predominantly female department - never learned so much so fast on being on the receiving end of sexual harassment.

Bullet0AlanRussell · 2025-10-05T00:43:59+00:00

Nah man, your girlfriend is either just straight up lying or is incredibly naive. Source- The heaps of woman targeted smut I've read.

ReceptionInformal749 · 2025-10-05T06:20:15+00:00

Then how dildøs come into existence

MRA-automatron-2kb · 2025-10-03T18:11:17+00:00

I used to read Dear Abby in the newspaper back in the 1980s (we had no internet back then) and that "Men want sex women want love" refrain she'd write in her replies to people seeking advice annoyed me so much. Men were so isolated back then, we didn't have forums to dismiss this misandry. I thought that phrase was no longer used, so your post brought up that here we go again feeling.

Street_Conflict_9008 · 2025-10-03T18:20:40+00:00

By her logic, she doesn't care about the person either. Status and stability here are not personal characteristics traits, but is a focus on materialism. It is what can he provide me. This is an argument of selfishness!

Ask her what her definition of love is?

Chances are it will be shallow. It sounds like she wants to be desired and princess treatment.

Not all men want sex, alot of men want companionship and intimacy. This is a form of emotional connection, something deep, not shallow and dismissive like she has argued.

Longjumping_Mud8398 · 2025-10-03T18:34:05+00:00

It's easy to find video footage of women thirsting over tall, handsome, high status men such as Henry Cavil and Chris Hemsworth. They say inappropriate things to them, stare at them, and look for excuses to touch them inappropriately. This is on television.

They do it to tall, handsome men who aren't famous too, and the behaviour gets even more brazen and inappropriate when there's no cameras watching.

Even if it's tempting, men are a lot more reticent to behave like this because we know we have stigma on us from a society that labels us as perverts simply for the crime of being born male.

Women are also orders of magnitude likely to complain about unwanted advances too, so it creates an illusion that it's almost exclusively a male behaviour. We all know there's no point for a man to complain because we don't get taken seriously.

I'm a decidedly average man. Average looks, average height, average income, and I've still had it happen to me, albiet only on a few occasions. Twice, it was girls in their late teens when I was in my 30's. After one particular incident where she started telling me about her sex toy collection completely out of context to the work related discussion we were having, I confided in a colleague that it she was making he feel uncomfortable, he asked me if I'm gay. I'm not, I just don't think it's appropriate to get sexually involved with workmates, especially when they're far younger than me and seem to have issues.

Falconoflight777 · 2025-10-03T18:36:12+00:00

Men want love women want resources and slaves who will adore them and serve to them AND sex... So its pure misandry, because its women who dont see a person not men, because its totally usual when men date poor and not pretty women and literally loves her, yet even rich women tent to find rich men. The only half true that men are more tend to seek pretty body of partner BUT tell me now what is more you - your body or your wallet? - exactly.

Pretend-Storm4566 · 2025-10-04T02:39:04+00:00

One third of porn surfers are female.

If women don't want sex so much, then why are male strip clubs a thing? Male strippers will tell you women are far more aggressive at male strip clubs than men are at female strip clubs.

I've been sexually assaulted by girls several times. Gropes, forced kisses.

These are bizarre facts if women only want romance. Your gf is a sexist ass.

Local-Willingness784 · 2025-10-03T16:09:21+00:00

are we assuming that women who spend hundreds of dollars on smut novels, read fanfics 24/7 and idk, have porn in audio are not addicted to porn in the same way men are? or that it doesnt affects them as much? and isnt liking a man for his looks, status, stability or emotions he provides equally dehumanising? isnt the guy a means to and end in the same way a woman would be if she is "used" for sex?

No-Cartographer-476 · 2025-10-03T17:01:18+00:00

Lol so Edward from the Twilight series is just some normie? Gtfo, theyre shallow as hell

Drakin5 · 2025-10-03T17:33:01+00:00

Your girlfriend needs a reality check.

Men watch porn and get aroused by visuals and “superficial” things.

Women watch corn, too. How is she not aware of this?

Women read romance novels or watch dramas, focusing more on emotions.

the male characters are almost always rich, powerful, confident, tall, and handsome

Yep. Male characters in romance are almost always objectified based on their social standing and how likely they are to be paypigs for women. Or just watch a few gameplays of Love and Deepspace, then check the playerbase and reviews.

but if I worked in an all-female workplace, that wouldn’t happen.

You're more likely to be falsely accused of grape. Guess what? You also don't get to see or know who your accuser is. Lawyering up is the bare minimum here. Best case? You could be swimming in settlement money. Worst case? Your accuser gets a light sentence, maybe 1-3 years in jail compared to the life toll you experience.

SnowFire · 2025-10-03T18:42:27+00:00

You don't want to work in a female-majority workplace. Women hate other women with a passion. They cannot be friends, and constantly sabotage each other. Men just wanna get the job done and go home. Women want to vie for power and bring the baggage home at the end of the day.

BEEZY086 · 2025-10-03T20:36:28+00:00

Of course, she would get approached by men. We live in a society where men do the large majority of breaking the ice. You "gf" is really oversimplifying her sexist opinions. Both genders want both sex and love, thats a fact.

GodHand7 · 2025-10-04T03:26:36+00:00

Those thing she said are off the rail sexist and by what shes said, she would call you sexist in a heartbeat if you said similar stuff, she said

dmatech2 · 2025-10-03T14:54:08+00:00

It's a stereotype, but stereotypes are often rooted at least partially in reality. For women, being loved means being protected and provided for. Men might not be wired to need love in the same way because we're expected to protect and provide for ourselves. We're still wired to need respect, though.

On the other hand, most women are pretty enough that they don't have trouble attracting men who want to have sex with them. If they want to get pregnant, there's really not that much stopping them. In fact, they have to go out of their way to screen out all the unworthy attention they're constantly getting and try to attract people who will provide for and protect her (or at least have excellent genes).

anothermanwithaplan · 2025-10-03T23:05:08+00:00

There’s a lot going on here. Addiction is an issue in and of itself, regardless of the “fix”. People that have an addiction disorder need support around them to get help and stay on track, it doesn’t matter if it’s porn, drugs, gambling or anything else.

Both men and women are visual creatures, but not always in the same way, usually men need to see it, and women need to believe it. Men want to see something in front of them whereas women like to have an imagination.

Looks get attention, personality gets everything else. Men pursue on attraction, it’s that simple, because it’s a necessary foundation. Emotion, romance, and everything else come after. I don’t even know what order women look for things anymore, it’s a mess.

The work place thing has its merit, usually men pursue and women don’t so logically she would get approached a lot. And if you worked with all women you’d still have to be the one to pursue. The pattern here is that more often than not it’s men putting in a lot of effort up front, which is why rejection feels so bad. Although, wait until you see how most women handle rejection, yikes!

However, none of this is superficial, because you, me and anyone else are perfectly within our right to like or dislike someone on any criteria that suits us.

The only people in my experience that have this problem with things being superficial, fake, have a problem with makeup, looks and similar, are people who are insecure in themselves or who are jealous of others. And that’s ok, but to move past it all, steps need to be taken to become comfortable in yourself, to accept what you are and what you’re not.

wordjedi · 2025-10-04T04:43:49+00:00

Women, on the other hand, look for.....status

Who says the highest status job a man ever had was actually fulfilling or satisfying on any level? If there's a gun to your head to never leave that job she was so "attracted" to, or else she'll leave too, do you really have any freedom over your own life?

Maybe I just can't think like a female no matter what. If I dated say, a female scientist who I thought was smart and cool, trying to advance human knowledge and change the world, and later she wanted to downsize to a more satisfying less stressful job, she didn't suddenly become a boring dunce. As long as she has her head above water financially in that new job I'm all for it if it will make her happy!

mrmensplights · 2025-10-04T17:51:16+00:00

Your girlfriend has a pretty dehumanizing view of men, which kind of means she has a pretty low opinion of you. That's kind of sad man.

Unfortunately, her beliefs are not uncommon these days. Despite men having authored poems, stories, and music about the human condition for over several millennia, modern society has no problem reducing men to base animals who are only interested in sex while ascribing dignity and humanity and the better angels of our nature to women. In reality men seek emotional connection, loyalty, and partnership every bit as much as women do.

Some counter arguments:

Men watch porn and get aroused by visuals and "superficial" things. Women read romance novels or watch dramas, focusing more on emotions.

Romance novels are also superficial. They usually feature men who are tall, rich, confident, powerful, and handsome. Just like porn exaggerates bodies, romance exaggerates status and personality traits. Both are forms of fantasy, not real relationships.

Women, on the other hand, look for emotional connection, stability, and status — the whole person, not just the body.

Status, stability, and appearance are also selective traits - they're not the 'whole person.' Plenty of women won't date men who are shorter, broke, or insecure. These are just as much a superficial filter as men focusing on looks.

men would sleep with anything. They don’t care about who a woman is, only about her body.

If men only valued bodies, then relationships, marriages, and loyalty wouldn't exist in the first place. Research shows men consistently say they want kindness, humor, loyalty, and compatibility in partners. Men might be more open to casual sex, but that's not the same as having no standards and it's not the same as being fully interested in sex. Also, in an era of dating apps there's plenty of evidence that shows women are every bit as open to casual encounters provided there's no strings attached.

if she worked in an all-male workplace, she’d constantly be approached because men are “desperate and only want sex,” but if I worked in an all-female workplace, that wouldn’t happen.

That doesn't match reality. Men in workplaces generally don't constantly hit on women because of professionalism, fear of rejection, and respect for social boundaries. (or you know, HR) Men are every bit as contextual as women are when it comes to making moves and approaching women.

barkmagician · 2025-10-04T18:37:42+00:00

Men are not the ones wearing wedgie shorts in the gym. Men are not the ones showing half of their ballsack in public and bending over for instagram pictures.

Hound_of_Hell · 2025-10-04T19:16:10+00:00

Yeah Ive seen the men in these so called “romance books” and you can tell its definitely about the body and not the personality. Im sorry to break it to you that most 18-20yo’s don’t have the body of Jason Mamoa

TenuousOgre · 2025-10-04T19:33:29+00:00

Tell her that with enough time you come to realize both genders can be shallow is choosing for sex. But long term relationships require personality, integrity and such. Beauty faded. Character grows.

necrose99 · 2025-10-04T19:40:24+00:00

Some Women Are Buy sexual.... Buy them a BMW, her motor to bonk purs.. Buy her a new set of outfits... her motor purs.... and she's turned on to try the skimpy skirts ... Buy n spoil .... in the immortal words of Kanye West... We ain't saying she's a gold digger... But yeah Buy dinner movie n a perfume, n she gets all sexy... Some need 1000$ some need just enough to feel appreciated...

Sex men do like sex, but it can start us down the pair bonding pathway... unfortunately the bio drive to love a woman, get some kids in her oven and the white picket fences.... its a minefield... as feminists brain-rott has kicked in... As most want marriage kids etc.. it's carved into our DNA... However we live in odds for times... <Excuses insert women's blames by millions here> blame the patriarchy Ie it's thundering ⛈️... , didn't get my raise... endless.. He looked at me wrong and isn't 25/10 in looks..

Not all of us are billionaire trust fund Giga-Chad Chipendale models ... to were we can hit n quit 30 Women and care not if they all become our harem of single moms

Most of us are average or mildly above average in looks.. Wallets most see us as walking around Wallets

downvotevillain · 2025-10-04T23:43:15+00:00

She sounds delusional

Edit: and bigoted

dexterpoo · 2025-10-06T01:32:20+00:00

I’ve literally had girls lusting over my man and literally talking about more sex then men, to be honest.

Reasonable_Elk3267 · 2025-10-06T10:46:53+00:00

“Men would sleep with anything!” —The gender that uses cucumbers, electric toothbrushes, faucets, shower heads, and toys for masturbating.

Fast_Equipment9445 · 2025-10-06T19:51:30+00:00

Here in the west and Japan in the older days women was considered more sexual than men look today at what women do just saying women are more sexual than men they just don’t wanna admit they are so they only tell certain guys that gets to sneak in at the sleep overs then that’s how you’re average guy thinks women are never anything outside the equation of God himself

Broad-Choice-5961 · 2025-10-03T17:35:48+00:00

Fictional books or real porn women use them both depending on their type of horniness at the time. I had a gf who would masturbate constantly to lesbian porn yet never wanted in real life. We had a great sex life.

RennietheAquarian · 2025-10-03T19:04:24+00:00

That’s bs. Tons of women just want sex and no love from men. Look at all the women who have tried to cut their husband’s penis off, because he rejected sex one night.

OfficeResponsible781 · 2025-10-03T19:54:45+00:00

Women are imo hornier and more picky than men for the reason they think they only deserve the best. They’re more “emotional” in the sense they are more cunning but they use it against men who are attracted to them for attention.

I notice guys fall deep and quick, women lead on guys they aren’t interested in because they want a “safety” to fall back on.

Sure, am I reaching yes, there are good people form both genders but her saying that about all men is just insane when there are just as many manipulative women out there who only care about their “status”

2DogsCaged · 2025-10-03T20:04:00+00:00

Men want love first and sex second. Women want security and will do what they think is required to get that.

StangF150 · 2025-10-03T20:10:36+00:00

OP, it sounds like your GF has never wanted a Guy, and been Turned Down!!!! Women lose their shit when they get rejected for sex. B/c they have convinced themselves that No Man would or could EVER turn down Sex!!!

Evening_Crazy1579 · 2025-10-03T20:18:46+00:00

Your ex said what?

itsakon · 2025-10-04T02:11:38+00:00

Talk to most fat girls, gals who grew up like a guy. Without anyone looking at them twice , let alone the constant attention that even basic women grow up with. That “girls don’t care about sex” thing disappears instantly. (Or look at most erotica writers.)

Jelooboi · 2025-10-04T08:01:03+00:00

Lmao believe it or not men have standards! I actually turned down 2 girls I'm my life surprise!

hostility_kitty · 2025-10-03T18:55:33+00:00

Very untrue. I have a higher sex drive than my husband. He gets sad if we don’t hug or cuddle enough. People think my husband is broken because sometimes he’d rather watch a cozy movie together than have sex.

GuyWithLongUsername · 2025-10-03T20:27:08+00:00

This https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-actually-crave-romantic-relationships-more-than-women-do/

And this https://www.psypost.org/men-value-romantic-relationships-more-and-suffer-greater-consequences-from-breakups-than-women/

SidewaysGiraffe · 2025-10-03T20:43:03+00:00

In a workplace of the opposite gender, she'd get approached and you wouldn't; that much is true- but that's not because (or at least not primarily because) men are overly horny; it's because society is structured to place the burden of romantic pursuit entirely on men.
A frankly staggering amount of complaints women make about this are simple results of men looking at the situation logically: the odds are against any one attempt working, and most guys would grow old and die several times over waiting for a woman to make a move on them, so it makes sense to hit on them freely and frequently.

Increasingly liberal attitudes in society (and some level of desperation from women not getting attention after men have been bombarded with messages and retaliation discouraging the logical approach) are pushing women to start making moves themselves. This is good- it encourages more agency and shows each side the difficulties the other faces, at least in theory- but it's not something that a guy can RELY on, and many women, though they'll try to justify it with self-righteous sanctimony, refuse to give up the easier position.

PhulHouze · 2025-10-04T01:06:38+00:00

It’s really not that complicated. Sex is a desire of human biology - we basically evolved to reproduce sexually because it creates diversity that is beneficial for the survival of the species.

For sexual reproduction to occur, two individuals of a species need a mechanism to combine gametes.

The specialization that humans inherited from our ancestors is such that men share small motile gametes, while women receive these gametes, which combine with their large cell gametes, and house the resulting zygote until birth.

The asymmetric involvement in reproduction causes women to value quality over quantity - they invest so much in a single coupling, that they need to be sure the male has high quality genes and will stick around to help raise the child.

Males invest so little via the sexual act that we are incentivized to value quantity - the more opportunities to mate, the more likely it is that our genes will survive to future generations.

Every one of us is descended from a long line of individuals who successfully navigated this process. Those who did not are extinct.

Complaining about it is like protesting the Earth’s orbit.

Icy_Table_8856 · 2025-10-04T02:16:31+00:00

I once dated this chick, on the first date we were at this hookah lounge type of place and were sitting next to each other. She went to show me something on her phone and opened safari.

She had at least 5 tabs up of pornhub and xvideos. Your girl is either lying or delusional.

random_sm · 2025-10-03T18:31:20+00:00

"not just the body"

..... until you are a short king or bald...

Proof_Boysenberry_74 · 2025-10-04T02:48:32+00:00

Idiotic statement. Testosterone plays a big role here. A little oversimplified but it basically makes men more impulsive. Mens and womens libido is triggered by visual stimuli, so seeing something attractive. Men just expierience that in a more intense way like they do with many things due to testosterone. But that dosnt mean men don't have any interests in romance, intimacy or an emotional connections to sex and their libido. I find it difficult to understand why someone would want a romantic relationship with men in the first place if they are convinced that they are generelly not capable of romance and love.

Practical_Example_73 · 2025-10-04T20:44:53+00:00

Yet women are in business Men are the Romantics?

desultorythought · 2025-10-04T22:50:39+00:00

My boyfriend used to be this way. But now he’s said, with age, he’s become significantly more driven by emotional connection.

ElegantAd2607 · 2025-10-05T08:22:12+00:00

I've seen women on reddit talk about how women's sexuality is more "innocent" they're more likely to just want something cute and wholesome.

But then I also saw people say that women like aggressive porn more. https://nypost.com/2022/06/07/more-women-than-men-turned-on-by-aggressive-porn-study/ I'm not sure what to think.

nebulousrealist · 2025-10-05T08:57:41+00:00

I hate sweeping generalisations of men this women that anyway.

But as a woman I've . - been addicted to porn - been very superficial in attraction - hate romance novels - enjoy smutty novels only if they're fantasy or really well written, 50 shades of grey is terrible - have a fairly even split of male / female / trans friends - have worked in male dominated spaces and been able to have connections with them and build friendships (it was another women who disliked this as she has the same mentality to your partner).

I dunno, I just fundamentally disagree with her position on this - I know so many men who want a real emotional connection and to be safe to feel vulnerable. Where the person is the most important.

kochIndustriesRussia · 2025-10-05T14:51:05+00:00

Not true.

My gf wants sex.... and she'd like it every day lol.

She sometimes has to remind me that her pussy needs attention.

Qantourisc · 2025-10-05T15:33:43+00:00

For sex and orgasms I have porn.

But what I seek in a woman is intimacy, so she's not speaking for me.

2025-10-05T18:00:46+00:00

Lie. Women only want to be loved, never love. Their ideal is narcissistic. Men do love; and they desire the person themselves and not “things”.

2025-10-05T18:09:14+00:00

Only those who are attractive and work with women know how much they antagonize you because they want you but can't and don't know how to deal.

Big_Cartographer9188 · 2025-10-05T20:18:27+00:00

I dislike generalizations that require specific categorization of things in life that are actually extremely nuanced and not as all binary like: Men, Women.

Your girlfriend, though it is great that she can think and come up with her own opinions, seems to fallen for the 'fallacy' trap.

•I've read similar things in terms of visuals vs literary in regards to men vs women.

• Secondly, men are not just into porn and having sex with women- but I'd say it's proportionate to the amount of woman who are out there gold digging for a comfy life, for lack of a better term.

• When your girlfriend tries to speak for men, just know that she cant- she's literally unable to speak for the male experience.

•By validating the behavior, you validate her opinions as fact, through her choice of phrasing, "She thinks or has the perception that men are sexually superficial"

•What she says it is that men want is really just her own opinion with no credible experience to base it off of- not even if she has brothers or has healthy male friendships, not even if she heard some guys testimony because that would still be lumping a whole social group together, and she perceives what she learns about us through the knowing of a woman. (Not being sexist- an example, when my sister told me she got periods, I thought she meant once a year and when I saw how much she bled a month by accident- I called 911 because I thought she was dying. My make mind equated it to a holiday, not quite understanding)

•We all know that being human and the human experience as our own individual selves makes us extraordinarily unique- that's why it's unhelpful to speak in such broad ways. •As a man, I only understand women, through the lens of a man and as such, would never state a generalization about women.

To conclude, your girlfriend didn't have an actual foundation for discussion since she didn't properly represent men in her opening statement.

I will conced that porn addiction tends to be something that a higher percentage of men do- in the same sense that women tend to be financially or materialistically superficial when it comes to seeking relationships. Keep in mind this isn't about comparison it's about drawing parallels between both men and women to show that we actually do stand on equal footing.

Also keep in mind that if the focus is that men are sexually superficial, then how come men still adhere to protector role, provider, etc, etc? In the same sense that woman become nurturers and connection driven, because if a womens dream is to have children rather than build a career, this provides the opportunity. A relationship takes two to tango.

I want end this by saying, I think your girlfriend was being a bit unfair and intellectually dishonest by conflating what she thought instead of seeking actual discourse with you by asking what you, as a man, want.

Cindylynn43 · 2025-10-05T21:42:01+00:00

I'm a woman, and I know plenty of women who sleep with men for superficial reasons. I had my share of one night stands before I got married. It had nothing to do with love and everything to do with having a good time. 🤷‍♀️

CricketFormal3564 · 2025-10-06T01:26:51+00:00

With that statement, id hate to see how she feels about gay men. She is probably a homophobe.

umenu · 2025-10-06T11:06:41+00:00

Does she even like men? How does she perceive you? I can't imagine being happy in a heterosexual relationship while thinking that my partner is only in it for the sex. Is my whole relationship just based on product availability? I would like to believe that my partner loves me because I'm adorable, thank you. But yes, we differ in libido and the way to get aroused. For most women, horniness is indeed an emotional state while ( in my experience with) men can be overcome by an urge. While women also experience urges, mainly during ovulating (damn our biological urge to conceive), it really is different. While my man can get aroused from the position of my but when I'm the small spoon, I generally do need a bit more to get there. And I don't know if he can do that with anybody but I like to believe that I'm special. Edited to add: The first part of my comment is just a joke. I believe she likes you. I just didn't like her generalization of the whole male population.

wolfoftheworld · 2025-10-06T14:32:03+00:00

I've never been a dude who lives only for sex. There's so much more to life. I hate how we get pigeon-holded into thinking we are all natural-born horndogs.

No-Astronaut2025 · 2025-10-08T08:15:17+00:00

I prefer loyalty , kindness and support thx

Sinshalai · 2025-10-10T02:40:45+00:00

I'll direct you to the Youtuber named Shoe0nHead and her recent video covering female gooners. It's definitely not just men. Just because we read smut novels doesn't make our tastes on sex in media any different than men. Sure, we're more emotion-based, but you're right in that it's just as superficial. It also can get just as weird, as this video will show you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ3OPifyQZ8&pp=ygUKc2hvZW9uaGVhZNIHCQn8CQGHKiGM7w%3D%3D

zaririi · 2025-10-03T15:38:50+00:00

She's discussing gender stereotypes. Men and women are biologically different on a general level and generally she isn't wrong, but on a more nuanced/individual level it's not 100% the case.

Cloxxki · 2025-10-03T17:48:05+00:00

That's ONE aspect of physical intimacy.

What men want short term is exactly what woman have made the most accessible for all of time: sex. In the past men might have needed to dead with resistance to grape, now many women just brag about their rosters. Women becoming men. Very convenient to men who are not interested in anything too meaningful. An let's not pretend women are still the idealistic angels their grandmothers were. Heck, even those grandmothers may have been in countless hippie orgies.

A man who wants a woman to share life with (modern women will have derogatory terms and prejudices for that) wants simple things. Sex is just the RESULT of a healthy relationship. Women who complain about a man's unfaithfulness when she nagged absolutely daily and withheld sex to try and "teach him". I am not making this up, women toot about this with their face and full name on social media. A man who gets his blls drained at least once or twice a day without having to ask for it, will just not cheat. Might not even get it up for a new woman, just rushes home where his good life awaits.

Many women have very high body counts now, accumulated by spreading their legs for Chad and Tyrone, not for genuinely great guys they looked to build something with. Men with high (recent) body counts are getting very rare. As usual, women most affected.

trhaynes · 2025-10-03T18:58:04+00:00

I think the problem is in assuming one sex is “superficial” and the other is “deep.” What really happens is that men and women tend to separate out different aspects of the same thing. Porn strips sex down to the body without the person. Romance novels strip it down to emotions and fantasy without the person. Both are distortions.

Real intimacy isn’t just bodies or just feelings... it’s the whole person. When either side gets isolated, whether through porn or through idealized romance, it turns into consumption rather than relationship. The fact that the distortions look different for men and women doesn’t mean one is shallow and the other profound.

It just means both are tempted to settle for less than the full reality of another person, mess and all.

East_Meeting_667 · 2025-10-03T21:00:02+00:00

Since you started with porn. The majority of women will play a scenario out in their mind and guys will focus on visual stimulation. For some guys sex is the bonding and validation they crave much in the way girls enjoy asking you to do things first them.

daemon86 · 2025-10-03T21:06:42+00:00

We all know women filter out guys by height on tinder. Also, women move on quicker after breaking up. Women are only able to love (unconditionally) children. They don't love men.

MeasurementNice295 · 2025-10-03T21:15:07+00:00

No, it's still cheap sexual arousal, except it's achieved through description of social power-play shenanigans instead of raw action.

Still as much, or even more, of an unrealistic fantasy.

angelussin · 2025-10-03T21:20:54+00:00

Have seen those videos where women talk about their body count? Makes me think it's actually the other way around...

CarlosMarcosApproved · 2025-10-03T21:37:33+00:00

Bullshit generalization. Maybe back in the 50s and 60s men were more promiscuous but I think it’s the other way around these days. I hear more about girlfriends or wives cheating than I do men these days and I don’t hang out with just men. Obviously men cheat too and our promiscuous, but I feel like women these days are the biggest offenders and they don’t seem to have any guilt about it. when you confront them they often say stuff like “ it’s just sex.” as if a man have no emotional connection to their sexual relationships as if that’s all we care about so if it’s just sex and not love, why should we care? According to a lot of women it seems these days. We have no emotions so why do we get upset?

Kevidiffel · 2025-10-03T22:11:13+00:00

This gotta be ragebait

xSlaynx · 2025-10-03T22:25:54+00:00

She is right, women are not superficial, most modern women only care about having 6 pack while also making 6 figures, nothing supeeficial at all.

/s

As a girl told me once "nothing extreme, just like Chris Evans in captain america, a bit muscular, thats it" (i swear she said that)

My goodness...

Medium-Knowledge4230 · 2025-10-03T22:42:18+00:00

I think you should ask her "do you think that i am with you only for sex?" Either she doesn't believe her own crap, or she doesn't see you as a man or she really thinks that you see her as a free hoe that can be thrown away at any moment. It's bad either way.

FH-7497 · 2025-10-03T22:53:30+00:00

It’s not uncommon for less experienced people to assume their limited experience covers all ground. Unless it’s directly negatively impacting you guys this may be a “pick your battles” moment, bro. She’s wildly wrong about a lot of this stuff lol

Smoothsailing4589 · 2025-10-03T23:39:17+00:00

I disagree with her. Men are more romantic than women. I have heard some women who are men's rights advocates and even they agree that men are more romantic than women.

reignoferror00 · 2025-10-04T00:49:41+00:00

Tell her being shallow on multiple levels doesn't make you deep.

FatGimp · 2025-10-04T00:54:01+00:00

Hahaha, she is delusional. I've worked in 2 pink collar industries, and I have only learned that women are no different from men.

ispq · 2025-10-04T02:22:34+00:00

Romance novels are porn for chicks.

Pantsyr · 2025-10-04T03:29:28+00:00

A half decent body may get a woman sex from many men, but it won't get a relationship or commitment without some personality or humanity to bring to the table.

CoffeeWinter3729 · 2025-10-04T06:52:22+00:00

A quote "Men are far more romantic than women. Men are the ones who’ll say: “I’ve found somebody.
She’s amazing. If I don’t get to be with this person, I can’t carry on. If I’m not with her I’ll
end up in a bedsit, I’ll be an alcoholic.” And that’s how women feel about shoes."
– Dylan Moran

Tallos_Renkaro · 2025-10-04T06:59:10+00:00

I hate when people speak on behalf of an entire gender.

Trust me, my gf wants sex and I fucking want love.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2025-10-04T07:25:45+00:00

Not true of women wanted love they would not keep choosing bad boys. That would not do the romantic thing for them at all.

So I call bullshit on that.

Women want to be the damsel in distress. And be picked up when they are struggling and build back up by a men.

But at the same time would never struggle with a men.

So they would tear men down.

And rather be pumped and dumped and wait at the finish line for the winner then. Go on a journey of love and discovery and build something up together with a men.

What shows for most women its not about love at all. It just takes a short look at the choices women make not the empty words they keep saying.

And its easy to see the truth. Women rather be treated like trash by men that focus more on there own journey and don't need a women and put her as a unnecessary part of his life then a men that is a hopeless romantic that put her wants and needs and wants to build something together.

No women always go for the men that really don't need the women at all. And would often never put them first ever. What shows they don't care about romance. Cause they would never pick a men that would put them first cause of there live and devotion.

What makes women just want men that don't need women cause they are already successful and content in there life's but want to try and change that men to be suddenly a romantic with them what often just does not happen at all. But thats the way women see romance.

So what they say and what they mean and there actions they take and choices they make show again and again its bullshit. And a waste of time to listen to what they say when it has no barring in reality when you look at what they do.

New-Distribution6033 · 2025-10-04T09:44:53+00:00

The difference between visual and written porn is that written porn has more pages devoted to describing her lust.

criminal_lawyer_ · 2025-10-04T12:30:08+00:00

How many of those men are not sigma male billionaire werewolf?

NinjaMon1022 · 2025-10-06T03:13:51+00:00

She is one of the people who just thinks women don't even like sex or are incapable of having sexual feelings at all and any feelings a woman has on a man that's she attracted too can't be sexual and men have no control of their desires whatsoever.

TraditionalCup1007 · 2025-10-06T05:22:12+00:00

I don't know about women, but the amount of men commenting under a post about female teachers molesting male students with "where was she when I was in school" makes me think her assertion is correct.

Then again I remember women simping for a murderer because he was cute.

Maybe everyone is just after sex and not love.

mohyo324 · 2025-10-03T19:35:03+00:00

that's basically what happens when redpill and evo-psych go mainstream
i hate how men always praise these when they are pure determinism and misandry

Phuckers6 · 2025-10-03T20:19:31+00:00

Men who want to settle down and start a family wouldn't just go for anything. This is an apples to oranges comparison. She is comparing the women who want to settle down with the men who just want some quick fun.

Once a guy is looking to settle down, he also needs someone stable, trustworthy and reliable that he has something in common with and can get along with.

stinkydogusa · 2025-10-04T13:17:02+00:00

Seinfeld did an episode about this.

Women are way more sexual than men. Some can’t even function if they go without it.

Rob_Croissant · 2025-10-03T22:12:41+00:00

I always thought the opposite tbh

Medium-Knowledge4230 · 2025-10-03T22:35:53+00:00

Meanwhile: women being very active in porn sites and the main audience for BDSM and r4pe roleplay videos

Karategamer89 · 2025-10-04T12:23:22+00:00

she says she wants love and reads romance novels? the ones where they choke tf out of the girl? and if women were so captivated by love, they wouldn't cheat since you can't develop love from a one night stand.

FeedbackSilver4261 · 2025-10-04T12:48:38+00:00

Stay away from her, she is literally saying that you don't feel any emotion about her. I recommend GF with intelligence.

imac_aden · 2025-10-05T00:29:39+00:00

I think it’s true honestly, but it depends on hormones and personality.

Consistent_Lime_433 · 2025-10-05T04:31:23+00:00

You have literally discovered the main difference between the male and female brain. Tha male brain is more visual driven, we are biologically attracted by visual appearance because that's when we know at a subconscious level: "hey! I like that features, we could make a baby!" While instead the female brain is more emotional and that's why they read more than watch they need to feel "he's strong, tall, wide back, big hands etc.." <- these are all mental signs of "domination", someone that could carry a family. We are biologically different but there isn't one better than the other.

Cwash415 · 2025-10-04T07:57:32+00:00

im always amazed at how most women are baffled at why men want sex so much, its called NATURE, all that education and they still dont know basic biology ...sperm is cheap and eggs are scarce , hence why women have to be very selective with their partners and why men have less standards when it comes to just sex

Not_Just_Any_Lurker · 2025-10-04T09:21:15+00:00

Is this the same 45 year old that wanted kids that you booked to Italy?

addings0 · 2025-10-04T11:17:12+00:00

Sex for men is not a fulfillment, simply a drive. The superficial only lasts for so long. Look at Brie Larson.

mrkpxx · 2025-10-04T07:06:20+00:00

She's right about one thing. Women want less sex than men, which is supposed to justify the other thing.

Title	"Men want sex women want love" my girlfriend said
Author	Lost_Low_5951
Upvotes	474
Comments	201
Date	October 3, 2025 9:25 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1nwud9b/men_want_sex_women_want_love_my_girlfriend_said/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/men-want-sex-women-want-love-my-girlfriend-said.1563353 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563353

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