It's really funny when people bring up the idea of "you don't need sex - you can just jerk off" and then complain about men who only want sex.

Lysa_Bell · 2026-01-19T17:29:02+00:00

How is it "depriving sex of emotion" when you dont want to engage with sex without emotion?

Disastrous_Agent9307 · 2026-01-19T18:56:30+00:00

Jerking off fulfills the physical element thus making sure particularly for men the pipes get cleaned out. The emotional desire for attachment and intimacy is a solid desire and one I totally understand...but something that can be fulfilled without sex (a close friendship or even a pet would get you that). That's why we suggest jerking off.

The anger at men who just want sex is anger at men desiring to use women as masturbatory aids plus some ego validation. We aren't removing emotions and intimacy from sex, we're saying if you can't find someone who wants that with you, you can meet the physical need through your hand and the emotional need through a good friendship, family, or a pet. It's an approximation of the same thing, like tofu nuggets or plant based sushi. It's not a perfect replica, but it will meet the desires you're calling needs.

YourMrFahrenheit · 2026-01-19T17:53:52+00:00

OP, I think you’re delineating sex and masturbation as the difference between orgasm with and without connection, but what you’re actually describing is the difference between orgasm with and without a woman’s validation of your desirability. Hope that helps.

mandoa_sky · 2026-01-19T17:27:53+00:00

since how do you get emotional connection from someone you just met?

real emotional connections develop over time.

sablesalsa · 2026-01-19T20:37:07+00:00

You can get emotional connection from other non-sexual relationships in your life, and temporary relief by jerking off. Sex is good but it is not a need the same way food, water, air, and social connection is.

mashedturnip · 2026-01-19T17:40:50+00:00

It’s very logical — we don’t want to be a living jerk off

Dependent-Tailor7366 · 2026-01-19T17:31:24+00:00

What emotional meaning? Y’all talk about it like it’s a physical need you will die without. That’s just an orgasm. You can do that by yourself.

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2026-01-19T17:32:55+00:00

You can't have sex with emotion with someone you barely know. It takes months to years to fall in love with someone. Unless you're willing to wait that long to develop an emotional connection first then you make zero sense. Also you don't need sex, you just want it really bad.

ThatBitchA · 2026-01-19T17:28:31+00:00

What exactly is there to debate?

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-01-20T01:30:01+00:00

Because when men treat everything that has to do with actual human connection with a woman as a price to be paid for sex, women assume the connection part isn’t wanted.

All the bouncing back and forth between “I don’t just want sex, I am lonely and crave intimacy,” and “I don’t want to have to deal with all that BS just to get laid,” only starts to make sense when you realize it’s not about sex nor intimacy. It’s about validation.

JonMyMon · 2026-01-19T18:03:52+00:00

Here's the disconnect. Sex is validating for everyone, but it's less emotionally validating for women than it is for men. Women understand that men are sexually interested in a large field of women. Men receive way less attention (especially sexual attention) from women so sex is infinitely more validating for them.

For men, sex is like, oh my god, she wants to have sex with me, oh my god, she's getting wet, oh my god, I have value, I'm a real boy after all!

For women, sex is like, duh-doy, he wants to smash, and he popped a boner, and he came after a minute of penetration. Like every other man. Am I special, or could he achieve that from a plank of wood?

Women suggest "Just rub one out!" because they simply don't understand how a large part of sex for men is not simply about the orgasm, it's about validation. A lot of men don't even understand this, or will virtue signal about how they're above validation. And then women will chalk men's thirst for validation up to them being weak-willed, while not realizing that that perception is shaped by their difference in life experience.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2026-01-20T10:32:58+00:00

How do you get emotional component from random woman you don't even like as a person?

You must first find the one and only then you can think about sex with them.

Sex with random person doesn't give you anything extra compared to just doing it yourself. It only causes you emotional damage after you break up.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-01-19T18:04:23+00:00

That's like two extremes to be honest. The fact that sex is important and brings up more emotions, contact than simple jerking off doesn't mean that it's not valid to not like when you're valued/seen good for only sex.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2026-01-19T18:12:07+00:00

I think this is usually in response to men saying that sex is a need. Like yes in some sense, but not on the same level that food or water or oh then are needs.

ChewedMyWayOutOfThat · 2026-01-20T00:40:40+00:00

emotional meaning of sex and the mutuality/communication between people.

OP says this when women have a 10% chance of orgasming from a one night stand and a 49-65% chance of cumming in relationships with men.

complain about men who only want sex

With such abysmal numbers, who the fuck wouldn't complain? Do you know what men are communicating with the orgasm gap? That they don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves.

Then men dare to be outraged when don't want to have sex with selfish cunt men.

Chance_Dog_6281 · 2026-01-20T04:58:40+00:00

I don't know, I have a deep emotional connection to my hand, one that's never really been matched by any woman I've been with.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-01-20T12:41:22+00:00

I’m not a living fleshlight. If what you want is to cum. Then jackoff. Or buy toys. Random sex isn’t going to make me feel anything other than mostly regret.

Axis_Control · 2026-01-20T13:57:03+00:00

A lot of men just want to use women for sex so there is no emotional component its just using woman as a masturbatory device.

Women don't want to be used in this way hence it is seen as disgusting if men seem desperate to have sex with us.

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Electronic-Cherry266 · 2026-01-20T23:13:31+00:00

I might not understand the complaint, because you just described two things that don't seem opposing at all -- they sound like they go hand in hand. I think it makes perfect sense that those people would complain about men only wanting sex, because the point is that those men aren't often providing any emotional connection for their partners. Men who only care about sex aren't usually looking for an emotional connection, they're looking for a sex toy. A woman is not a sex toy. She is not a fleshlight, and she doesn't want to be made to feel like one.

y2kjanelle · 2026-01-21T08:23:51+00:00

What you are describing isn’t emotional connection, it’s validation. You just want to feel sexually validated by a woman wanting sex with you regardless of how well you know her, regardless of whether you even know her name. That is not wanting or desiring an emotional connection. That’s having a deflated ego.

These are in no way parallels and if you want validation from women, then you need to have something for them to validate.

Emergency-Sell-6713 · 2026-01-21T13:53:22+00:00

When people say "you can jerk off" it's because they live in a world where sex has already been stripped of all emotion. You inverted cause and effect. That or it's just a vicious cycle. We do need more naive people in this world, but I honestly don't know how that would work out.

Shoddy-Cherry-490 · 2026-01-19T19:00:35+00:00

The real problem here is that women get so hung up about men’s unwavering, ever-present desire to get laid. Every time I hear a woman complain how the guy just wants sex I think to myself “No shit Sherlock! Men are horny, lustful creatures!”

The ironic thing is if men weren’t constantly pre-occupied with women (and by that I mean having sex with women), how do we imagine humans would ever couple up? Do the ladies really think that men obsess over women just so we can give away our time and money? That we risk the embarrassment of rejection only so that we can listen to someone else’s problems?

Despite all the thousands of years of social conditioning, all the million other ways in which we (men and women) try to give meaning to our lives, at the end of the day, men will always instinctively be drawn to opportunities of procreation, of getting our rocks off! That doesn’t mean men should behave like pigs of that men should be given a pass for indiscretions. And most importantly, it doesn’t mean that as men, we should ignore the woman’s role, a woman’s need for physical and emotional safety or simply speaking that women deserve our respect, our admiration and gratitude!

At the end of the day, the only way to solve these very real and intractable differences between men and women and how we pursue one another is by accepting that the other side perceives the world a bit differently and rather than judging a man (or woman) for what is perceived as a fault, perhaps we can listen and try understand how those very “flaws” are actually a feature.

xxTx-Toymanxx · 2026-01-19T19:43:13+00:00

This goes further than that. Men are still being expected to fulfil gender roles while women feel they do not have to do the same. Unfortunately men aren't looking for the same things in a relationship so sex becomes one of the few things men are seeking.

If that is all they see as important and what is offered, then that is what they will seek and you can see a good percentage have embraced the hookup culture and are no longer focused on relationships. Remove sex and now there is no relationship. The fact is if you want to drive the sexy porsche you don't head to a kia dealership.

eluusive · 2026-01-19T20:04:31+00:00

It's so stupid. Oxytocin and other important hormones are not released when someone jerks off.

This stuff is important for male mental health in many people. It's rare that a person does well and doesn't experience sex regularly.

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