Girlfriend cheated on me

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September 30, 2019

Just found out that my girlfriend had been sleeping with a dude from her friends group for the last 8 months. She wanted to fuck him and she did, I get it. She could have told me one word that she wanted to do it so that I could go on my own way. But she didn't. She had been hiding this fact from me and behaved with me as if nothing was wrong.

I didn't ask her why did she sleep with him, rather why did she hide it from me. She says she loves me and it was just a fling. I'm not feeling bad for her whoring around, but the fact that she made me a dumbass all these 8 months is devastating to me.

I found about this while we were on a trip. I've calmly told her that what she did was disrespectful and I don't want to be indulged in a relationship with a whore. She cried, pleaded, yada yada. I bailed on her while she was asleep.

Although I didn't show my anger to her, I'm absolutely fuming inside because of the fact that she made me look like a dumbass. Why the fuck do women do this? She could just have told me that she wanted to sleep around, and I wouldn't have stopped her. But this hiding stuff has crushed my ego.

How could women be so evil? What does she get by making me look like a fool? Is this what I get for always letting her do whatever she wants, never suspecting her and not being a controlling freak?

When I think back of the moments we had all these 8 months, everything looks fake. How could women put up such a facade and be all lovey-dovey while whoring around behind the men?

Post Information
Title Girlfriend cheated on me
Author PrettyPreethi
Upvotes 387
Comments 198
Date 30 September 2019 12:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
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[–]aWorldBornDead295 points296 points  (16 children) | Copy

Because they want their cake and eat it too. They want the "sure thing" that's stable while tasting whatever they fancy on the side.

[–]askmrcia69 points70 points  (8 children) | Copy

This is the answer OP. She wanted the stability of the relationship, she didn't want to look like a whore to her social circle and family and she wanted her fun on the side.

Being in a relationship can get boring for a lot of people. You're seeing and fucking the same person all the time.

I think you handled it well and unfortunately the best way to avoid getting hurt in these situations is to vet harder (does she drink, party a lot, have whore friends, ect...) and keep your options open.

Keep in mind, I'd say 90% of us been this situation before. You'll learn from it.

[–]IFuckingHateAllergy12 points13 points  (7 children) | Copy

I must say, I've experienced both sides. And I still don't get why they do it. Being the person cheated on, her excuse was that I didn't have enough time for her. And being the guy she was cheating with, The same excuse was said as she said her husband barely had time for her. Not I'm not sure if there are any correlation but there must be something there at least.

[–]askmrcia36 points37 points  (3 children) | Copy

her excuse was that I didn't have enough time for her

That's a lie. Never listen to what they say. She just needed to say something to make you look like the bad guy. The reason she cheated is because she wanted something new and got bored of the relationship.

I'm not saying you were boring I'm saying there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

[–]IFuckingHateAllergy4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm aware that it was a lie. But having two women cheating, one being my ex girlfriend and the other, a wife of another giving the same excuse makes me wonder if there was any correlation or is it just always the most convenient excuse.

[–]pilljourney7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is there "something there" when every girl who rejects a guy defaults to "I have a boyfriend" even when they don't? No. It's a lie, there's nothing there. It's a vague excuse that can be applied to every relationship like a horoscope, it makes her the victim within the narrative, and you the bad guy. It absolves them of their responsibilities and they don't have to think about it.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20021 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well put.

[–]5ubstanc30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

the ‘ole female plausible deniability.... gotta love it

[–]tom-anonymous129 points130 points  (1 child) | Copy

This 100%. Also in her mind she's rationalized why she deserves this.

Just remember, the fear of loss is much greater than the desire to gain. At the time the desire to gain was greater than her fear of losing you because women who cheat think they won't get caught in the moment.

However the fear of loss becomes much greater now that she did get caught. She may no longer have the chemical high with the other guy. Her chemical high is now focused on the fact she lost you. That will go away, so don't look back.

[–]1Shyrk28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her chemical high is now focused on the fact she lost you. That will go away, so don’t look back.

This is an incredibly important point, and you have stated it very succinctly. This is precisely why you never take back a cheater, and it’s so slyly congruent with female nature as to be undeniable.

This guy gets it.

[–]MR_SKINNYPENIS6912 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

To be fair and rational, this is also true of a lot of men.

It's a people thing.

The difference is women are far more likely to rationalise their cheating and blame you for what they did. Men know what they're doing is wrong but do it any way because they're risk takers. Men will accept it as their own fault if their gf finds them and leaves them, women will make the guy out to be the bad guy if he finds her cheating and leaves her.

[–]whostonedtx2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

There’s men like this too though. I honestly think some people can’t be monogamous

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They are. This is pure monogamy. No human in history has ever had their genuine desire and attention directed at More than one person At a time. OPs girl had her mind on ONE man during this fling. She’s monogamous as fuck and so is everyone else that’s ever lived. Maybe monoamorous is a better word.

[–]jackandjill221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea, this is exactly what my friend said to me when I described a similar situation about my ex.

[–]RivenHalf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They want the "sure thing"

One of the biggest red pill moments of my life was a girl I used to fuck labeling me as a "sure thing" kind of guy and from then on out I did a 360 on my attitude lmao yeah...never be the "sure thing" guy or you're going to have a rough life buddy

[–]SemperPrimus255 points256 points  (6 children) | Copy

Ive got not much to say other than sorry man. Shes a whore. The person you thought you knew doesnt exist. Just move 9n

[–]CombatEngineerADF35 points36 points  (5 children) | Copy

The cognitive dissonance of this was the hardest element for me to accept.

That the woman I was dating never really existed, it was merely my values projected onto her.

I've been tempted to cheat before and observed my values. But when her character was tested and she revealed who she was.

[–]TuhTodayJr5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This speaks to me

[–]Spets874 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Those first two sentences hit hard. I've experienced all lovey-dovey shit while the bitch was fucking other dudes. Didn't know which way was up for a while.

[–]Dane502 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good personal insight.

[–]Helmet_Icicle1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When you look at the tiger, you see yourself staring back.

It's impossible to truly know a human being without being inside their head. So when we look at someone trying to know them, we substitute the parts of ourselves that we can't see in the other person to get a full picture.

[–]Mugdad1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

God damn bro, mum had to bring me some tissues after reading this

[–]mickey__68 points69 points  (0 children) | Copy

How much support these people giving is wonderful, stay strong brother

[–]NeutralReiddHotel152 points153 points  (9 children) | Copy

It happens. It's happened to me, it's happened to people I know, and it happens to complete strangers.

Does it make it less shitty? No, and does it prevent it happening again? Also no. Look, whatever you are or not telling us, as much as it sucks, you will get over it. I hated every single person for a real long time that told me this instead of sympathizing or being like "Let's find you another fuck," but it's true. This girl was obviously not worth it and it was better you find out sooner rather than later.

She is also full of shit and she was over you. One of the biggest lies out there is woman believing they can cheat and get away with it. If she really didn't want to end things with you, she wouldn't have done it. No. Matter. What. Comes. Out. Of. Her. Mouth.

Actions speak volumes more than words. Keep working on yourself and do yourself a favor, block her and tell your friends to kick your ass if you ever talk to her again. Don't be an idiot and backslide.

[–]HillaryLostTheEC39 points40 points  (4 children) | Copy

I mean anybody who gets back with a chick who cheated on them is pathetic lol I don't like to put it so hard, but if your boys saw you with her they'd think the same thing, they just wouldn't tell you.

[–]TuhTodayJr3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Been there dude :(

Never ever again

[–]HillaryLostTheEC0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just gotta remind yourself that their are plenty of fish in the sea that have morals and won't cheat on you...

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It depends. It doesnt always have to be over no matter what. It’s rugsweeping and instant forgiveness that should be avoided

[–]Condescending-Guy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's true, I do think that in extreme circumstances you can fix things and you can start pushing game again to fix things in your LTR.

HOWEVER, it is ABSOLUTELY not worth it. She's shown who she is when things are a little sour. Why take the risk? He's gonna be walking on eggshells the rest of his life. It's never worth it. For his sanity, he needs to run and never look back.

There's plenty of women out there that are faithful and even in the darkest times she won't cheat (despite what this sub will have you believe). Go find a good girl. There's so many of them.

[–]agjrpsl4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Very well said sir. Yes , women can be very evil and deceiving. That's why humans are not cut out for monogamy. Take care of your mind and body right now. Thing's will be alright.

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Monogamy is among the most primal needs a human experiences. Humans are 100% monogamous. If I could professor x everybody in the world and walk their their thoughts... I would find that everyone only has ONE person on their mind.

[–]agjrpsl0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Don't know where you are. But things have changed.

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No they haven’t and never will. You nor anyone else has ever been truly into more than one person at a time ever. Serial monogamy is what is natural to humans.

[–]1InformalCriticism82 points83 points  (13 children) | Copy

Why the fuck do women do this?

You've already answered this. Women don't respect men (at least not in the same way men respect one another). We are not human beings in their eyes, we are human doings.

What does she get by making me look like a fool?

She was keeping you around for her emotional needs, and filling herself up with her carnal needs when it suited her. Society tells them they can have their cake and eat it, too. They just go through life without expecting consequences, because often there aren't any. (In fact, there are countless circumstances when women are rewarded for bad behavior).

Do yourself a favor and don't make this a mistake by not learning from it. I'm not saying mope around and wallow in self pity, I'm saying never forget this and guard yourself against female nature by internalizing their nature.

[–]Andgelyo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great advice. I know the feeling all too well. For the majority of red pill men, this is their awakening. Never been the same since. Dating a girl for 7 months, everything is great, she might not cheat on me, she might as well cheat on me. Whatever happens, happens. I’m just taking her along for the ride.

[–]catgirlmasterrace-1 points0 points  (11 children) | Copy

there are countless circumstances when women are rewarded for bad behavior

just out of curiousity, nothing else, what examples are there for this?

[–]SerialATA_Killer18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cheating on faithful provider husbands and fucking them over a table in court

[–]Distractingyou10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

When they break things and people say its ok sweetie dont cry or when 10 white knights tell you her you are perfect when she is shit at something and she actually wants to learn but all the dumb white knights only give her positive feedback so she actually doesnt learn or she dates a drug dealer and gets caught but gets released cause daddy paid the police and female priviledge.

[–]1InformalCriticism6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy

If you're looking for a list, I can provide one, but you'll have to be more specific if you're curious about exactly how or why I believe each one belongs on the list, and it is by no means exhaustive, but it is the one I've either personally experienced, or has been correlated as true with an intellectually honest review of statistics.

  • Custody Arrangements
  • Alimony/Child Support
  • False Allegations Made Legally or Socially
  • No-Fault Divorce Laws
  • Comparatively Lenient Sentences for the Same Criminal Activity as Men (especially for crimes against men and children)
  • Abortion Laws

And really, just the myriad of issues inherently intertwined with each of those issues.

[–]Neesi0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

abortion laws? elaborate

[–]1InformalCriticism5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

Women have the sole right to determine whether the man or the woman become parents, regardless of whether the women's decision is against the man's will.

In other words, women have both the right to kill their child or indenture the father against his will according to her selfish desire. Women are given all of the parenting rights and at worst only half, and at best no responsibility for their decisions.

In an egalitarian society, if abortion is a female right, a man should also be permitted a legal/financial abortion. If abortion is not legal, then, and only then, indenturing unwilling fathers makes sense.

[–]GAMike19710 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I said the same in another Reddit and got 30 down votes.

[–]1InformalCriticism1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Justice and equality under the Constitution is a minority view.

[–]Neesi-5 points-4 points  (2 children) | Copy

the woman carries the child..

[–]1InformalCriticism3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're going to have to elaborate on your argument, because I just don't see one. I'm left guessing you just have bad feelings about wanting something that is clearly immoral to remain at your disposal, vis a vis the choice between infanticide and forcing others into indentured service based on your selfish desires.

It sounds like you're saying women are somehow owed something for their mistake, simply because of biology.

It sounds like you are saying you favor abortion, since you used an incomplete argument to counter my thoughts. If that is the case, I'd like to hear you stumble through an argument for why men have to pay for a mistake that took two people for 18 years and tens of thousands in legal fees, whereas women can simply pay for their mistake with about $700 and a few days rest.

[–]theherosmyth2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being a cunt to people and being called strong for it. Thinking they can assault/slap/throw drinks at men with no repercussions whatsoever. Causing a huge fight in the house with her man. Who do you think is getting dragged out of the house when the polive show up? Exaggerating emotions to get their way. Fucking the poolboy, divorcing her husband who has been nothing but good to her and taking half his assets. Taking advantage of beta orbiter men by giving them a little bit of false hope. Lying, knowing she'll be believed because #believewomen

[–]redpilllogin36 points37 points  (1 child) | Copy

All I can say is this was not about you. She did not do this to make you look like a fool. It was just her nature. My recommendation is to go read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. A lot of this will make more sense then.

[–]MisfitPL90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I 2nd this. Also read No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover

[–]Drainstink28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

She wanted her cake and to eat it too. AF/BB. She can Love her beta or boyfriend/ long term companion while getting hot sex on the side. She wasnt lying about that. And often there are no consequences in this day and age. Many men are willing to forgive this especially the first time. Its pathetic. So they never really learn. You are doing humanity a service if you break up with her forever. Any unlucky future man who gets her might be better off as she learns a lesson. Or not.

Women cant handle a guy who breaks up with them as its so rare to be that way around.

But its not good enough. U did the right thing. Tbh thre was probably signs of this early on and long ago which you were not ready to act on or notice. There does exist women out there that can self regulate, especially with your help by setting boundaries and being high enough SMV that she wont risk it or necessary want to.

Not easy though. Good luck.

[–]halfchub690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What kind of boundaries should we be setting?

[–]afterthe_fapocalypse22 points23 points  (7 children) | Copy

Why did she do this to me?

Your answer:

she could have told me ... so that I could go my own way. but she didn't.

Don't you see? She wanted whatever it was you were providing, and then the other guy to fuck her too. To her, she just wanted what she wanted. She wanted that sex bad enough she risked this happening for it. She also risked being framed as a slut and a cheater. You should ensure that her future bfs know about this if you care about them, because they'll likely feel like you do.

She probably indicated signs that she was immoral before. Maybe she's really hot and it was easy to ignore them. Definitely made that mistake bro. Go back through the early days of your relationship and look for cues, red flags, etc. What was her relationship history before you? cheaters often don't just cheat once. Are her family dynamics pretty fucked up? How does she treat waiters when you go out to eat? Etc. Etc.

Actionable steps:

  • LEVEL UP, start lifting, etc. and move forward. You don't have to "Make her regret it" but the more you let it go and move forward the better you'll feel. Eventually you'll get to the point where you're just thinking about other things, and this will be a distant lesson.
  • Cut her off completely
  • Become friends with the dude who was fucking her behind your back.
  • NEVER ever under any circumstances answer her number, texts, snap, WhatsApp, etc. Completely ghost her and
  • when you see her out with a guy deliberately go up to him and kindly inform him that she just cheated on you for 8 months straight with another dick shaft while lying to your face. Deliberately warn the poor guy. That guy was you.
  • Women do not like to be seen as cheaters to their friends. It's important you don't bitch about it or gossip. They probably already know. And if they're still friends w her, they're probably all cheaters.
  • Realize that it's not your fault she cheated on you. That's on her. It's not wrong to trust someone not to cheat on you, but it is wrong to ignore the fact that it could happen again. People are people. Women are hypergamous.

What I'm interested in is when you bailed on her while she was sleeping. How exactly did that play out?

[–]ducanukem24 points25 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why become friends with the dude who fucked her?

[–]MrBreitling 3 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Because if done correctly, it can be the harshest insult to power ever.

From personal experience; I was with a BPD in the early 2000s - In a fucked up way I could thank her because I learned alot (with alot of pain) about women and their nature because she was so raw and untethered compared to a 'regular' woman. It's like a regular woman on turbo steroids with a magnifying glass.

Regardless, she kept parading her exes in front of me; one by one, as we were dating. I was the worst case of lap-dog beta-max at this time. She mentally abused me for 2 years, threatening all sorts of legal consequence for made up events, turned all my friends against me and so on. About 18 months into the 2 year relationship, a 'mentor' (older man at work) saw an event that occured publicly and rescued me.

He turned me to old school PUA from usenet, message boards and Proto-redpill material like Patrice, and I reclaimed my balls and dumped her. Before I broke it off, I started reading 48 laws of power. I started to use her own tactics (and then some) against her. In every single case I ended up becoming best mates with her exes, all of whom she had up until that time remained friends with.

I took every single one of those guys and turned them against her. She was infuriated. Imagine you're a cat, and she's dangling a toy on string in-front of you. Then out of no where, you jump up and take her eyes out, Kill Bill Style. Then you shit in her eye sockets. She is no longer friends with any of them.

In the case of OP; did this guy even know? If he just fucked her and she told him she was single how would he be held responsible? Bro-code doesn't exist here. He should/could simply become best friends with this guy. Rub it in her face. High five each other. Send her pictures of the two of you at the gym holding hands "DILLON, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!" Predator style. See her in public and laugh about how you both fucked her. Men should always chalk this shit up to the game. We need to stick together in cases were it wasn't an out and out attack (aka fucking your best mates wife for revenge).

Some guy ended up with all of my modified cars as I sold them. I miss the cars but I'm happy that someone else took it and either loved it or made it even better. I moved on, that isn't mine anymore. It was just my turn.

[–]GonadGravy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just want to commend you on your excellent replies. It’s nice to see someone here who really gets it and has some valuable input. This type of fresh thinking has been scarce here as of late. Cheers

[–]FunnyCantaloupe1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

How does she treat waiters when you go out to eat?

what does this tell you?

[–]MysticalMike19903 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

if she is going to be shitty to complete strangers that are serving her food, how do you think she is going to treat people she is familiar with?

[–]afterthe_fapocalypse2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

it's a classic sign of narcissism for someone to pick on another person in a helpless situation. the waiter is rarely responsible for the problems that occur in restaurants. And he cannot stand up for himself when abused because he's holding out for that tip that comes at the end of a meal and will be fired if he retorts. So when someone picks on a waiter, who literally cannot say anything back (I've worked in restaurants ~4 years), you really see just how they act when they know they won't get called out for their shit.

[–]GAMike19710 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is mostly childish BS. It sounds like high school revenge.

He should just move on with his life.

[–]masterpiece0049 points50 points  (3 children) | Copy

How could women be so evil? What does she get by making me look like a fool?
How could women put up such a facade and be all lovey-dovey while whoring around behind the men?

You're obviously very new here and or in the anger phase and haven't read anything.

Your GF saw you as the a safe beta, mr. dependable, maybe got a little too stale, boring in bed etc.

Regardless she found a new chad or two 9 months ago, an alpha dick she couldn't refuse and fucked it, the end.
Just move on, easy.

[–]abir0692 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

How did you quote from the post? I can only quote someone's comment

[–]moltenw9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Use the ">" symbol and after that copy / write the text you want to have quoted.

">" this thing quotes

this thing quotes

[–]coloredzebra4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just copy and paste then hit the quote block, I have reddit enhancement suite, but I'm fairly certain it's on vanilla.

[–]Manny140015 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why did you even discuss this with her? Like some kind of conversation is going to make it better?

If something like this happens, you walk and never look back

[–]ToraChan2312 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why the fuck do women do this?

Because they can. It is what it is. They want to have their cake and eat it too.

How could women put up such a facade and be all lovey-dovey while whoring around behind the men?

You learned a valuable lesson and it's great you didn't blow up at her or give any emotion she could feed off of.

[–]IOwnMyShit28 points29 points  (4 children) | Copy

That really sucks, fuck that hoe. She and the guy she eventually settles down with will have a very miserable life, so at least there’s that.

You’re lucky to have TRP knowledge, it will help you massively. All the best my man!

[–]merrill140023 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

only time (that I know of) that I got cheated on, the chick ended up marrying the dude a couple years later.

I recently checked up on her social media. Turns out the dude dumped her for a younger model 5 months after she gave birth to their child. So she is now a single mother.

What goes around comes around

[–]Shadows14558 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Remember guys, AWALT, you cannot trust anybody, ever the girl you love.

I'm truly sorry for you OP, it also happened to me a year ago, good thing you dumped her

[–]harbinger194522 points23 points  (5 children) | Copy

IMO, it's human nature. It applies to both genders. Simply speaking under certain conditions people will cheat on their partners no matter what.

Do you think your gf will not cheat on you if Brad Pitt comes along and tells her that he wants fuck her ? Wouldn't you fuck Angelina Jolie in her prime if she came after you ?

I don't have any illusion, when it comes to mate finding in this world. We all are looking for someone/someone better. 99% women are not worthy of LTR. Their ability to pair-bond is basically broken.There are girls out there who cheat on their husbands for years and they might not even know that their snowflake cheats on them.

Last week I met a girl. 20, cute af, nice body, no tities but whatever(one of the best looking girls I ever fucked). She was in relationship since 14 with a guy she known for 16 years, and nowadays is friends with him(She's basically alpha-widowed at this age).

Didn't stop me from fucking her, but do you think that she's LTR material ? I haven't met a girl in two years of dating that wouldn't be alpha-widowed in one way or another.

You will not be the THE ONE for her, unless you are her first or second, anything after that and you will be compared to previous partners, and unless you will be absolutely great in every way imaginable than you are out of luck(yes even your dick size plays role)

So don't be angry at women, or humans in general. Accept it, and ask what you want from this world and its people. If you want LTR..well good luck, because you're going to need it.

[–]wolfgang2632 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Best Awnser itt lot of incels crying over human nature

[–]CombatEngineerADF0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Incel accepts the nature of humans, they just would have preferred the traditional structures that were put into place to mitigate the corrosive elements of such nature.

[–]SalporinRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In my 8 or so years of dating (24 years old) I've met approximately 1-2 girls who I would consider LTRing now. I had a fair amount of LTRs in my BP phase but looking back they were all shit. The amount of LTR-worthy girls out there is literally miniscule.

[–]Qba1994 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

„You will not be the THE ONE for her, unless you are her first or second”

I’m currently with extremely beautiful girl / model look and I took her virginity and I’m her first. How do I keep her around for as long as possible? Any advice to make this relationship work for a long time? She’s 16 I’m 20 (Europe)

[–]flipdoggers4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

IMHO you will never be "the one". Even if you stay exclusive your whole lives, it won't be due to blind loyalty and soulmate-ness, it'll be because you're both each other's best options. If she gets into an accident and burns half her face off, as sad as it is, you likely won't want to be with her anymore. If you get depressed and fat and play Warcraft all day, she likely won't want to be with you anymore.

Just enjoy it while it lasts and enjoy the journey of life as much as possible.

[–]babybopp4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

wait until you find out OP that she slept in his bed yesterday....

move on man, you handled it the right way but your turn was over.

[–]i-am-the-prize6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

it hurts. recognize the anger and pain, do not deny it. but do not let it define you. write down how you feel, somewhere private, secure app/physical journal, get it out, close the page/app, and get on with your day. do NOT imagine what happened, do NOT go over how you would have acted differently, DO NOT WASTE ANY MORE TIME/BRAIN CYCLES ON THIS WHORE. I know this is easier said than done, as you're the one with the pain, but it's our role to speak the truth, and your duty to hear it and act on it. your duty to yourself. you are your own longest LTR - remember that.

we've all been cheated on. it sucks. it doesn't make you any less of a man. i've been cheated on by women who chose guys who were seriously lower smv and no game I knew (friends of friends). it's a weird "the thrill of the chase" sometimes for them. so learn from this. never again have an LTR wihout dread and abundance on your end. For now, go spin plates, work on your frame, game and looks and make the most of life.

life will go on. make the most of yours.

[–]omega_dawg934 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

don't get mad.

don't hate her.

just accept the FACT that it's female nature... and it's simply what they do.

read the sidebar & rational male, get into the gym, get out more often with your buddies... enjoy your freedom and forget about dating.

just chill... you'll get past this.

[–]linkschode6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

You’re not feeling bad for her whoring around? I would be devastated if my LTR was fucking someone else for 8 months.

I’d guess that you weren’t emotionally available for her, so she’s found that connection elsewhere.

This is the danger of RP mentality in my experience. The push pull of being indifferent and unavailable most of the time builds attraction in the honey moon phase, but if you continue that shit into the LTR phase, you gon’ get cheated on.

The hardcore here will think I’m BP for not advocating RP through and through, but honestly, so many of us are seeking an emotional connection - the trade off for which is vulnerability and opening yourself to the possibility that you will be emotionally devastated.

[–]ramaga5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here's some advice from a guy in his late 40s:

Once a whore, always a whore.

I say that to emphasize the fact you should not take your ex back under ANY circumstances. If your ex is like most women (and they ALL are like most women), she will beg and plead for forgiveness and for you to take her back.

Stay strong and don't do it. Because if you do, her cheating will happen again. As the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

Repeat after me, my man:

Once a whore, always a whore.

Interestingly, after your ex finishes begging and pleading and she sees it's not getting her anywhere, she will accuse you of driving her to cheat and that the whole thing is really your fault.

And the bizarre thing is, her inner hamster will have convinced her it's true. Most women are incapable of taking responsibility for their own actions.

There are literally billions of women in the world. Forget about this one and move on.

Good luck brother.

[–]MansfordM4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just remember this happens to men and women. People are people. And for the most part people suck. But there are good ones out there, and like everyone else has said the best thing you can do at this point is move on and forget about it. Sorry it happened bro.

[–]COLIE534 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your only a fool if you stayed after finding out. You did the right thing by leaving that situation. Hold your head up and keep chasing goals.

[–]fatbloop8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm sorry dude. I know how that feels.

Instead of typing things out I'd recommend you go through my post history and read all the comments on that post. It'll help you out.

[–]red_philosopher7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actions speak louder than words. Just be glad you found out now.

[–]Anasthaesium3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Was she desi too?

[–]ButMessiDeservedIt2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wanna know too. OP please respond.

[–]1ANGRY_ATHEIST2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

AWALT. If given the chance, and if they think there are no consequences, they will all cheat. Every single time.

Women, in order to compete in this rat race, they must be sociopaths on some level or another. Men outweigh them physically in every category, the only possible way they could survive is to figure out how to manipulate us, and they do. Shit, this entire forum is dedicated to "why the fuck do these women manipulate us so bad?"

She was not your woman, it was only your turn.

She did not go out and plan to cheat on you. Some alpha gave her the tingles, fucked her, and afterwards the hamster told her it wasn't her fault.

If you want to LTR you must hold some sort of leverage over her, or they will all do this and won't even feel remorse about it.

[–]trpppp1231 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What kind of leverage?

[–]1ANGRY_ATHEIST0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dread game, see also covert contracts

[–]TehJimmyy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She says she loves me and it was just a fling.

Watch what they do not what they say

[–]RaidenDark2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why do they do this? Could be any number of reasons. We really don't have enough information on your situation to tell you why it happened. I'm gonna say something you might find hard. Brace for impact.

Assume it's your fault.

Now, don't go all mopey on me. Always assume that when bad things happen to you, it's your fault. Always. Even if it's a fucking earthquake. Assuming you could have prevented the situation will lead you into insight on how you can prevent such a situation in the future. It's not a comfortable thing to do, but man, fuck comfort.

Where did this all start? Did you begin to make mistakes at some point? What were they? When were they? Perhaps you only made one single mistake. Maybe that mistake was dating this girl in particular. Be wary of early redpill initiates that tell you all women are the same. Not all women are created equal. Some are instant wife material, some will give your dog up for adoption and tell you it ran away. Infatuation often prevents us from making this judgement well. This is one of the reasons it's so fucking important to have good male friends who will tell you straight up if they hate your girl. If the squad don't like her, drop her. If your parents are respectable people and they don't like her, fucking drop her. If you don't like her parents, don't you dare give her free access to your place. There is no situation in life in which you should be more picky than the women you allow into your future.

Somewhere in the timeline, you should be able to pinpoint at least something you could have done differently, had you only known now what you did then. Don't beat yourself up over it. Simply internalize it. Remember it. Become stronger and wiser because of it. Warn someone else when you recognize the signs. Your suffering now will prevent future suffering on your part or in the lives of others. If not a friend, perhaps a son or grandson.

You can grow smarter by listening to others, but you cannot gain wisdom without suffering. Rejoice. Fate has seen fit to make you more of a man than you were yesterday. Don't squander this gift.

[–]Onidramon1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

>Always assume that when bad things happen to you, it's your fault. Always. Even if it's a fucking earthquake

That's silly and counterproductive. Some girls are just retarded. You don't have to go all white guilt mode and start taking responsibility for mental forest fires

[–]RaidenDark2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she's retarded, you should have known better than to let her into your life.

Did I say to feel guilty? This is about giving yourself a sense of agency, I specifically said not to get mopey or beat yourself up. Read more carefully.

[–]GAndGMethod6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you ever become a women’s boyfriend you will eventually be placed in that beta rule by her and her hypergamy will kick in and she will cheat.

Don’t be fooled thinking your “high smv” will save you that fate. I’ve fucked plenty of women whose boyfriends/husbands are a lot higher smv then myself.

Ltrs are pointless. You guys will all save yourselfs a lot of pain if you just truly unplugged and realize that all ltrs really are is long term plates.

It could be in a year, five even 30 plus long relationship, she will cheat it’s in her dna.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m in the top 10% of men. And it’s happened to me too. No stress. Grow from it and learn what you can.

Study body language and psychology if you want to read minds. Focus on micro expressions, body language and pacifying behavior. This is how cops interrogate criminals, they ask them play questions to study their pacifying(everyone has different pacifying behavior) behavior and have a group of guys behind the scenes study the tapes and look for tells.

And psychology to learn why.

The better you understand a system, the more power you have.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah that's the crazy part, is the duplicity. How can she lay with you, cuddle with you, tell you she loves you, while doing this other stuff?

The unfortunate answer is that it's part of the core female -- a piece of pre-installed software.

Human women are one of the only ape species to conceal ovulation. I cannot understate how rare this is; in almost every other ape species, the females indicate ovulation quite obviously -- usually through estrus: the swelling and reddening of the vaginal area.

And yet... human women don't. Why? Well, one prevailing theory is that it enables the maintenance of a provider male while secretly receiving genes from a genetically superior male. Or, in other words -- you guessed it! -- alpha fucks, beta bucks.

That's the core of the human female reproductive strategy. So, of course, women have psychological mechanisms in place to create behavior that facilitates that strategy, up to and including the instinctual expression of regret and remorse when the strategy is discovered.

Hence the advice to ignore her words and look at her actions, and to trust your instincts. It is what it is.

[–]krunchtimer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Also learned something new too. Thanks.

[–]Shadows14552 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Remember guys, AWALT, you cannot trust anybody, ever the girl you love.

I'm truly sorry for you OP, it also happened to me a year ago, good thing you dumped her

[–]_Ulan_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Been there. You'll be happy of the things you are learning once it will all calm down. Stay strong and don't forget you are still worth it

[–]moltenw2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

why do women do this?

To have their cake and eat it too.

Telling you doesn't benefit her, only you. Why tell you if the only thing she's getting is a clear conscience while losing the realistic benefits from you, aka the boyfriend experience, less living expenses, comfort, status etc.

[–]garf8768 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

How did you find out?

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Curious about it too

[–]Ivabighairy12 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

She might be your girlfriend, but you are her plate.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Men do this to women too. Don’t highlight cheating and covering up as if it’s a woman-only phenomenon. We cover more nuanced and developed topics in this group. In any case, I’m sorry this happened to you.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She says she loves me and it was just a fling

Sorry to say this means "I want your security".

Why the fuck do women do this?

Read the whole of TRP in detail, especially hypergamy, alpha-fucks/beta-bucks. Dualistic mating strategy: gets security from one man and genes for her offspring from another.

How could women be so evil?

It's not evil, it's maximising her genetic potential. It's utterly and completely uncaring about you, but (and I'm sorry to tell you this) but women don't care about men. She wanted to do it, this maximises her assesssment of her life so she did it. This is how women are.

What does she get by making me look like a fool?

Don't take it personally... that wasn't the intent. It was uncaring, but not actually malicious.

Is this what I get for always letting her do whatever she wants, never suspecting her and not being a controlling freak?

Basically yes

When I think back of the moments we had all these 8 months, everything looks fake. How could women put up such a facade and be all lovey-dovey while whoring around behind the men?

Because it works.

Never trust anyone 100% ever again.

Sorry this happened, I know it really sucks.

[–]Fukboi13992 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's not yours. It was just your turn

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You spelled "ex-girlfriend" wrong.

[–]1walawalawa2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hypergamy. Here's a situation I recently faced, a plate I was banging all last year moved to my city for school. She texted me to meet up, came over, banged me, then headed with me to a club where I was djing.

She was all set to leave with me but some dude came over and was hovering, offering her a ride home. She took it, left with him and has been going out with him ever since.

Wrap your head around that: bangs me 4 times and then 3 hours later leaves with another dude who has a car.

I know you feel bad but don't. You can't blame yourself for the past, only the future which you can make.

As an update, the guy my plate banged is actually an acquaintance of mine. A "nice guy" truly. I don't have the heart to tell him the girl he thinks is his "Girlfriend" is a whore. I see them out. He talks to me all the time. She stares at me but I've ghosted her. Still she stares when I'm at the club with other girls.

So there is always the possibility of banging her again except seriously, I don't need the "lets you and him fight" drama.

[–]Chadster1130 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You ghosted her because of the other guy?

[–]1walawalawa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. Didn't need the drama.

[–]drqxx11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

I'm going to tell you a harsh truth you're going to downvote me and be angry but it's okay it's still the truth.

It's because you weren't good enough, when you understand that then you'll understand what you have to do next.


[–]TheBunk_TB10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy her eyes. It happens. Guy could actually be in worse shape, broke, etc but she sees it another way.

[–]FunnyCantaloupe0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy


you're assuming all women function the same way. I completely agree that chemical/biological attraction tho

[–]drqxx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I do not I don't subscribe to the all women are like that Awalt, I'm not some MGTOW INCEL FAGGET.

I'm simple aware of hypergamy and mate poaching.

[–]CombatEngineerADF0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's no always true.

I've seen good men with solid status be cheated on with men of lower status simply because of the woman's nature.

Let's focus on what he can control, vetting in the future and building his value.

[–]animal-mother1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro, you're feeling your ego is hurt when this shit can and does happen to the best of us (even the most alpha, successful, whatever) purely on the principle of last dick standing and her confidence in her ability to keep it discreet.

She probably wasn't making you look like a dumbass, and you looking the fool decreases her status. You were the last thing she was considering while cheating on you. She only cared about taking the dude in front of her at that time.

[–]_Zalos_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry about this man. That's all I can say

[–]Stupyyy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She didn't value your relationship enough with you to not go fuck the other guy. You were never the priority in her mind.

[–]MOSFETBJT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey man, I'm really sorry that this happened to you. There isn't much advice to give. I'm glad you kept your cool and didn't give in.

Something similar to this happened to me, I ended up fucking her hotter friend.

You're going to do well in life.

[–]yrn_donno1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never your girl it’s just your turn

[–]sixseven891 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

you're preaching to the choir

[–]777views1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is why I’ll never leave the anger phase. All you fuckers think that you should just “accept” women’s actions and “get over” the anger phase. Fuck that. Wait until your girlfriend/fiancé/wife cheats on you, or some random chick says that you raped her, or your wife divorces you and takes everything from you, etc. Try and tell me then that doesn’t piss you off. Get over the anger phase my ass. What a joke.

[–]BusterVadge1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm sorry this all happened to you. While my ex never cheated on me, what helped me to get through the breakup is gym, mediate and hanging out with my bros.

You're gonna be in the anger phase for a while and you may as well channel the anger somewhere productive.

[–]Mikejonz1111 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Lesson Man. Do NOT date promiscuous women. If you are promiscuous, you will attract what you are. Learn to spot them bc they will manipulatively make themselves seem like the perfect girlfriend (by telling you they’ve had very few sexual partners, they only care about personality, they’ve smoked/drank/clubbed/partied very few times in their lives etc...) to initiate the “honeymoon phase”and make you think that she’s the one. This will retrieve the BETA ONEITIS side of you. Check for the way she dresses and the type of friends she’s into and that will tell you a lot about her. Promiscuous people do not form healthy long term relationships but they can easily form short term relationships. Usually they only last until the honeymoon phase ends and then they claim that: they don’t feel the same, things changed, things got boring, you’re not the person she fell in love with, she found someone else more exciting, she lost feelings, she can’t “get there” etc....

[–]PrettyPreethi 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Do NOT date promiscuous women.

I was her first guy. That, and she was traditional and believed in God - Two reasons why I didn't really think she'd turn out to be a cunning whore.

[–]Mikejonz1110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Since you’re her first, it means she hasn’t had her “hoe” phase yet. But that’s what women do. They shit test you to evaluate you whether your B or A and then they play their cards right by saying exactly what you want to hear

[–]-ThePathIsTheGoal-1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everything you’re felling is totally normal and natural, even the raw emotions that weren’t touched upon or expanded upon in the post. They’ll go away.

In a few months or so, you’ll look back and laugh at how much you initially cared. You’ll probably still get angry and feel rage whenever you think about it but that’s not too serious at all. The sadness and depression are what debilitate you, and THATS what will fade over time. So just push through until the really bad emotions gradually fade away.

She disqualified herself from you. Unfortunately she was just another low value whore not suited for a red pilled man like you. Whether you believe this or not, whether you’re a red pilled man or not, you will be. You will be because there is no other way. You have discovered this forum, and cannot un-known what you now know, so be grateful that this experience just accelerated your growth.

[–]Vermillion_Rx1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She could have told me one word that she wanted to do it so that I could go on my own way.

But then she would have lost her emotional relationship and only would have had a fuckbuddy. Like other commenters have said, she wanted to have her cake and eat it, too. By being single and in a relationship at the same time.

hiding this fact from me and behaved with me as if nothing was wrong

Women are almost encouraged to explore their sexuality without ramifications or being judged by society while men are chastised for seeking sex. You can blame society and all the cucks that forgive their cheating LTRs.

She says she loves me and it was just a fling

I can't believe she used such a lame excuse but I'm not surprised. This is just manipulating you via trying to make it sound like it was a trivial mistake. She just seems like a piece of shit to be honest.

I found about this while we were on a trip

Out of curiosity and nothing else, how did you find out?

She cried, pleaded, yada yada. I bailed on her while she was asleep.

Female manipulation 101, damsel and cause your protective instincts to override your rational and logical judgement. Fuck yes dude, I am so proud of you for black-knighting this bitch and ghosting on short notice!

But this hiding stuff has crushed my ego.

Please don't let it, any time you are dealing with a genuinely shitty human being like her, safely assume it has way more to do with them than it does with you. It's a reflection of her lack of basic human decency, not a defect on your part. She sounds like a class A deceptive c*nt

How could women be so evil? What does she get by making me look like a fool?

She wasn't trying to make you out to be a fool, she felt entitled to have sex on the side. Like I mentioned before, society has erased standards of common decency for women and has vehemently opposed "slut-shaming" to the point that women don't feel shame for whoring anymore.

That's why you see so much ass and heavy cleavage on Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram. They're becoming whores and there are few downsides because so many thirsty simps feed into the problem.

Ghost and Block this bitch, and go fuck ten other women (figuratively, not necessarily literally speaking). Also, ghost and Block any mutual friends that condone her behavior and stay by her side, you don't need that cancer in your life

It's not you man, this girl is just a piece of human debris. Improve, lift, get hotter, better women now that you're single. the pain will last a while but channel it into your new-found singlehood and let it propel you to bigger and better things

[–]MaistroMariguano1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My ex just told this to me after cheating on me 2 years ago, she said "I like to have my backup plan if I leave someone" (she believes we are still friends)

[–]ngyuhnang1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Awalt, so avoid a serious relationship at all costs.

[–]zxcvb78091 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ever hear the saying "She isn't yours, it's just your turn?"

[–]Kabuki4311 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This exactly how most of us guys end up on trp. Your post echoes thousands of guys who got cheated.

And you put it right, it's the feeling that you got played and made a fool of by someone who you opened up to and trusted hurts.

Take time to process your emotions, lift with a goal.

[–]mrrooftops1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Groin greed.

[–]Distractingyou1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

First don't be too hard on yourself how could you have predicted this if she was actually so good at hiding it, you are angry cause you feel like a cock and you are even more angry that you didnt find it quickly, the thing is dude nobody is perfect and you dont need to be so hard on yourself on why you couldnt have figured out earlier, it happens to the best of us i think you can only conclude that the moment you see a new girl that in her eyes she is not worshiping you any longer its time to open that relationship with new girls.

Also do you know why girls love makeup? Cause inside all of that insecurity and need to look pretty and innocent is the reality they are hedonistic soulless creatures thats why the bible focuses on man cause girls are of this world not more that is why we sometimes feel like we are talking to an NPC that likes nothing more than sleep, netflix and talk about people.

Also for the people saying she wasnt always like this, she was, thinking peoples nature change is stupid.

Right now what you can change is focus your thoughts on somethinh positive of course it hurts time will heal it.

[–]Haytch12341 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because in her eyes she is not evil. She is acting on biology. She has security and the comfort of knowing you will be around. Security comes first for women. Then comes the fucking around. Ahe boxed you into a guy she can depend on for stability. And so she fucked some other guy she boxed into a fuckboy only good for sex.

You know what you do? Fuck her off. Or if you really want to be calculating and fuck with her, then don't fuck her off. Cut off any support and just fuck other women on the side whilst leaving your girlfriend in the dark.

Withdraw emotionally. Leave explicit signs you are fucking women. Do it so she can get hints you are fucking women. But dont ever verbally admit it. It will fuck with her head as women need closure. Dont ever give it.

She is to no longer be taken serious.

[–]mustache_ride_1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

She could have told me one word that she wanted to do it so that I could go on my own way. But she didn't. She had been hiding this fact from me and behaved with me as if nothing was wrong.

She could've cut you off, but then who's going to pay for her meals, bills, and pills? She'd have to start all over again with another chump. All you folks keep coming here for great advice on how to pick the hottest whore, but you're missing the most important fact: "lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes of".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Sure it's female hypergamy and in her nature to trade up, but I swear some of these hoes actually get off on their own manipulation.

[–]DickMasterson691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is better to be feared than to be loved. This is especially true with women.

You've learnt your lesson. Next time you'll show some balls and assertiveness so that she won't stray.

You can only gain character out of what happened.

[–]Shoeaddictx2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking bitch.

[–]OkCellist22 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah unfortunately there's not much to do here bro. Fucking retarded, but women aren't capable of love in the same sense that we are.

This is why I refuse to date women. If we were friends, I'd get a bottle of jack daniels and we'd drink/play video games/go camping or some shit. Hopefully you've got some good buddies around.

Will take a bit of time to get back to square one, but remember... if you take the right steps in the next few months, you can really look back and see this as a blessing. Make your life fucking incredible without her to the point that it becomes a fucking godsend she did that because now your life is 10x better than it ever was.

Good luck

[–]roughback3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women before the wall are riding the carousel, cold-blooded as reptiles. My first love fucked a friend of mine, a coworker AND a neighboring loser before one of her friends blew up her spot - and she still had the nerve to cry like a newborn when I exiled her from my life.

Gotta love them like a dog, and when they eventually bite the hand that feeds them you take em out back and put em down.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shit in a basic brown bag (the kind you may have eaten lunch out of as a kid), put the bag on her porch, light the top of the bag on fire, ring the doorbell (or knock) and run to a pre-set hiding/viewing location. If all went as planned the victim will see the flaming bag and be all like "ahh fire!" followed by a quick stomping of the bag.

[–]cydestiny0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She could have told me one word that she wanted to do it so that I could go on my own way

Communication of both sexes are different, just don't expect our opposition to confront us on something when they know they're wrong. We men seeks answers, women seeks comfort.

How could women put up such a facade and be all lovey-dovey while whoring around behind the men?

Because they can and guys like you're buying it. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

[–]bigmanoncrampus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You were just one of her plates bro=( move on!

[–]DominatePressure0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Virtue signaling and convenience. That's why she could not be honest with you. Plus the mental gym so she feels what she do is right.

[–]gyunbie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It happens to everyone at some point. It has nothing to do with you. It's hypergamy, move on.

[–]Lilluzzo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry my friend. Probably she didn't want to lose your attention and your circle of friends. Same happened to one of my best friend years ago

[–]mrdeeds19720 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It happened to me too in a 15 year marriage and some one I stupidly LTRd after. Never thought that either would ever do such a thing. AWALT. Continue or begin your journey on being the best version of yourself.

[–]hedden930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've been there man. You're gonna be angry for a little while. Try to find a healthy outlet for your anger. Get busy and just focus on your purpose

[–]hippagun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know how it kills from inside ..My only advise is to join a gym and wear yourself out so that you don’t feel anything else.Stay strong brother 💪

[–]Siyuen_Tea0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's not yours, it's just your turn

[–]WeddingCrasher910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am surprised if there was no signs in these 8 months. Less attraction, more shit tests, less respect, less sex? Did you notice any?

[–]DevilishRogue0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why the fuck do women do this?

The same reason any one does; it seemed worth it at the time. She thought there was a low risk of you finding out and/or that you wouldn't leave if you did find out.

How could women be so evil?

It's not evil. That's the beta in you talking. She made a choice to take a calculated risk. It didn't pay off, she got caught and you split up. I appreciate you can't look at it very objectively at the moment but that's all that happened. It wasn't personal.

What does she get by making me look like a fool?

Nothing. It makes her look like a slut, ends her relationship with you and quite possibly with the other guy too depending on how things go. Understand that she didn't do this to you, she did this despite you.

Is this what I get for always letting her do whatever she wants, never suspecting her and not being a controlling freak?

If you are here you must already know at least something of how to maintain sufficient attraction to discourage infidelity. You simply didn't make the cost of taking the risk high enough. Being controlling is the beta way and costs you attraction. Being liberal is the Alpha way but needs to backed up. Ironically you've handled that pretty well since finding out judging by what you've written (apart from leaving while she was asleep). But you've learned that she wasn't worth the investment or effort anyway.

How could women put up such a facade and be all lovey-dovey while whoring around behind the men?

Easily. And the exact same way that guys do.

You could always see if you can get her to agree to an FWB arrangement if you think you can hack it. Otherwise leave well enough alone.

[–]faithfamilyfootball0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That sucks man sorry. Hope you’re able to move on

[–]anotherchump990 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you seriously gonna act like men don't do this at all?
Why are women so evil?

What kind of nonsense is that?

Women cheat, men cheat. You met someone wrong, move on

[–]troyohchatter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't let her piss you off. Just walk. She's not worth getting upset over.

[–]flatox0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ghost completely, no contact and dont reward her with closure.

[–]wagweb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

TL:DR all the comments so this may have been stated before.... At least you know now. A bunch of us older divorced men had a similar experience and then our ex’s divorce raped us on the way out. It’s a tough pill to swallow that your spouse cheats and not only gets away with it but takes half of everything you worked for during your marriage. You lucked out and found out before you got married. All the best to you.

[–]ChiBron860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have every right to feel the way you are. I wouldn't necessarily make it a gender thing though. Statistics say men and women pretty much cheat in equal numbers. At the end of the day, if somebody really desires something and they can get away with it, they will do it. And that's how I essentially see your g/f's actions. She liked being in a 'relationship' with you, but she also enjoyed the tingles she got from this other guy. And thus, she did it. It wasn't something she did to make you look/feel bad. It wasn't about you at all, in fact. It was about her. People are selfish. Go figure.

It's just that it "feels" more shocking when women do it because men are raised to believe women are these precious, innocent dolls who wouldn't hurt a fly. But they are no different than men. And when it comes to relationships, they tend to be a lot colder and calculating than men. Thus the birth of TRP - so we can understand the true nature of women.

And the true nature of women is one of selfishness. I only recently found out from my ex LTR, who is also my coworker, that she's been dating another coworker for the last 6 months right after she dumped me. Literally someone 10 feet away! And my ex, by all definitions, is the embodiment of a 'good girl' (or so I thought). When we were together, we even discussed multiple times that we'd never mess around with anybody else at work if we broke up. And look at what she did! Literally moved on with another person 10 feet way the moment she dumped me. And I can tell she feels zero remorse about it. This is who women are. If they want something bad, they don't give a fuck about you or anybody else.

Anyway, you did the right thing by walking away. Do not let this woman see how much she hurt you (they love seeing that). Of course, it will hurt you like a bitch for a long time and it should. The best you can do is hold your head high, continue working on yourself (lift!!) and do your best to move on. Fuck her.

[–]rookieMale0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I do have a question on this

Do you tell other people that you broke up because she fucked another person for 8 months?

On one hand you spoil her reputation. On other you do yours.


[–]zeekt120 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to the red pill brah

[–]Chadster1130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Now go treat women as sex objects only for a few years

[–]CombatEngineerADF0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My ex did the same, if you need to talk PM me.

The woman you thought she never existed, it was you projecting your values of honesty and fidelity on to her.

Look at where you went wrong if possible, (vetting, etc) and focus on yourself. Work out, lift, spend time with friends. This is a rite of passage, use it as an opportunity to demonstrate the man you are.

You've done well so far in ending it without emotion. Go no contact and live your best life.

[–]LeEbinConchShell0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

get used to it pal. just pump and dump. there is literally ZERO reason for young dudes to get into LTRs. you just set yourself up to be a sitting cuck. pursue self improvement + pump and dump you cannot go wrong.

[–]Bear-With-Bit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I text with girls, some of them with boyfriend or husbands. It's almost always not a matter of them being spoken for, but because I'm not attractive enough or I'm too far from her.

[–]zboo1h0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Everyone gets got. Take your rage and express it outward, onto a heavy fucking barbell. Express it into a musical instrument. Express it all over some other slut's back. Then, get back on your mission, because the real world doesn't give a fuck about your feelings. So feel them, and then get your fucking hands and head back in the game.

[–]ducaati0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly, I’ve read so many stories like this, I almost can’t even talk to women anymore

Glad you made it out before you were locked down, brother. Let let the whore suffer with her bad boy. It will get old.

[–]BeeBopJoe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The best thing u can do now is reflect on things and try to pin-point red flags that you might have missed. These red flags will be useful for future prospects.

[–]dingleburry_joe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They always say they love u....but

[–]Sagiahill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just an FYI, you are single until you are married.

[–]Atriplex1240 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm never commiting again I learned my lesson more than once.

[–]goathunter050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"I don't want to be indulged with a relationship with a whore" fucken oath cunt respect that

[–]BROqal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm sorry man. It's been said plenty of times but I'll say it again.

She's not yours, it's just your turn. AWALT. Go into a relationship expecting this will happen. Never trust them. By the way, women aren't evil, they don't owe you anything. In fact, I'd say this was your fault for trusting her not to do this. It's time to swallow the red pill.

[–]redmaxz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My ex also slept with my best friend for 6 months and others of the friend circle. I was the same as you. They don't tell you about it because that's how they get what THEY want. They don't care about you. They get to keep you as long as you don't find out, and they get to sleep around. So why would she tell you?

I even told my best friend the same thing. He also didn't tell me because he wanted to stay friends with me.

Obviously ghosted them but at the time I was devastated. Been half a year and I barely think about it now and it's okay. You will be okay too.

Spending more time in this place definitely helped me understand the situation more clearly.

[–]slamdunktiger860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry Oo. Same thing happened to me before. We’re they’re any red flags in hindsight?

[–]silent_dominant0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Look up the story of the frog and the scorpion. Then let the anger pass through you, so you can get rid of it, then move on.

[–]Don_Draper270 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She could have told me one word that she wanted to do it so that I could go on my own way. But she didn't.

Don't EVER expect people to follow any humane or decent code of honor. Doing it behind your back probably got her off.

She had been hiding this fact from me and behaved with me as if nothing was wrong.

Women are good at hiding shit and most of them will take secrets to their grave.

She could just have told me that she wanted to sleep around, and I wouldn't have stopped her. But this hiding stuff has crushed my ego.

lol - if you genuinely expect a woman to bluntly tell their boyfriend, "We need to end things because I want to sleep around" then you are living in Fantasy Land.

How could women put up such a facade and be all lovey-dovey while whoring around behind the men?

Men do the same shit honestly but this is the reality we live in. This is why TRP exists. To accept the game for what it is and learn how to get the most out of it without getting fucked over.

[–]onionknightofknee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you got a bad apple.

right now you're angry. you realize over time you are lucky to find out and not waste more of your life or worse... marry her. next time do a little more investigating but don't get all paranoid.

there are many women out there; and the faster they eliminate themselves, the quicker you can move on the next one to potentially find a really good one.

life too short to be paranoid of getting hurt.

[–]goon0200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well in order to answer ypur questions I need more information. For example how intimate were you guys? How free were you in your relationship etc etc. Also taking a look at the person she cheated with can tell you a couple things. I'm not trying to justify her actions btw but there is always a reason why people cheat. Even though there should be none. And it's different for each person. And yes the messed up part was that she didn't tell you, but at the same time I also don't know if you have always been honest with her. She is not here to defend herself and the case is quite vague. You probably know yourself better than we do so if you feel like you did nothing wrong then don't let this person affect your life for the worst. That is the most important thing.

[–]Mugdad0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Reiterating what everybody else is saying. But I cannot stress this enough. Do. Not. Go. Back. There. You’re worth way more. Hit the gym, chill with your bros. Work on you.

[–]GuineaPigLover950 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wow. I am a girl and I am so sorry this happened to you. To be fair I do not have the ability to lie like this. Even with small things my stomach messes up, I have intense anxiety, I can't eat or sleep and is just a huge issue so I wouldn't be able to do that. However, some women have the ability to seem like everything is okay because they convince themselves that what they did wasn't all that bad because "I'm not getting attention at home" " the sex is terrible" etc..but it's all a lie. It has more to do with their own troubles than anything to do with you. The only decision you can make now is can you work past this just because she made 1 mistake or do you believe she will do this in the future? Forgiveness of cheating is really hard but this is a decision for you. I'm really sorry you are going through this and I hope you can pull out with minimal emotional turmoil.

[–]HotAndColdSlaw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She wanted the safety of the relationship with you, AND the fun of whoring around too.

[–]fuaaaaaaaaark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Extract a cruel revenge.

[–]BusyHearing0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

> How could women put up such a facade and be all lovey-dovey while whoring around behind the men?

When it comes to psychopathy, violence is overrated.

[–]Xerexes38690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Always remember to cheat on the gf if an opportunity which is worth it presents, because your gf would cheat on you in an instant. It's just female nature

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (2 children) | Copy


[–]PrettyPreethi 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I think this post is more like sharing what I feel, cuz there's so much of anger pent-up in me. I don't share my personal stuff with anyone in person.

I kinda know what women are capable of, and why stuff like this happens. Maybe I just want to hear people's experiences and knowledge so that I will never put myself in such a scenario again.

[–]MillionaireSexbomb11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here’s the reality man. You can’t control what she does, she will always do what she wants. Even if you’re the most attractive man in the world with everything going for you, there will still be that chance. It’s a reality you will have to accept, and the only things you can really do are vet your relationships thoroughly and live a life that’s fulfilling for you, for you. Women will enter along the way and earn their place. Living life to the fullest will always require being vulnerable in a sense, and that means stuff like this will never get any easier, you’re just able to potentially hedge your bets a little better next time, but don’t close yourself to future possibilities because of this, that’s not living life on your terms whatsoever.

[–]FinancialThanks1-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t let this be a reason you start hating women. She didn’t do it with the intention of making you look like a dumbass. Like many men, she was too immature to choose between the relationship she wanted and the guy she thought was hot. Then she was too scared to tell you and it got harder as time went. Choose a woman with more self discipline.

[–]Thunder_banger-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't throw around the word evil. That will keep you from understanding her actions. She did it because she wanted to have her cake and eat it too, and figured she could get away with it with you. Not evil, just selfish which is pretty normal human behavior. Use this to learn how to not end up the same way again.

[–]DrExtra-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry to say but she is capable of putting on a act because women are masters at acting on fakeness. Just look at their personal relationships with other women. Fakenesss is what they love/hate about their own gender. We men tend to honor values like honor, loyalty and realness. Concepts that women never really understand not place emphasis on. Just see her as a fake manipulate cunt who wasted your time and try to move on as best as you can. If you do it right, you'll be getting some form of proof somewhere in the future that she made a terrible decision.

[–]nidham21-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

My opinion, girls are so emotional and dramatic because they're the breading sex so cheating creates more drama and fun for her.

[–]Scorsone-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

In the name of the Red Pill Father, his Son Chad, and the Alpha Spirit.


You’ll get over it in no time. Women aren’t evil. They have needs just like men & I always say that if someone cheats the blame is on both partners.

Either you didn’t have a strong enough frame, wasn’t wealthy enough, or had a long enough dick, etc. Whatever it was she liked in this dude you lacked, or simply wasn’t her preference. Own it & move on.

Plenty of plates in the kitchen.

[–]mrpoopistan-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is what you get for having your ego tied up in another person. She smelled wimp on you, and her suspicions were right.

Stop blaming her. It's not that women are evil. Hypergamy is a fact of evolution, and evolution renders no judgments of good or evil.

What happened was simple. You felt like a wimp to her. She knew she could position you in the beta boyfriend role and she was right. Fuck, you're still being a whiny beta.

Up your game and become the guy women want to fuck instead of a whiner.

Fucking women is like smoking tobacco. Know the facts and smoke if you want, but don't complain about the negative effects.

[–]Onidramon0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This would make sense if hypergamy always led cheating in a linear path from lower to higher SMV, but it doesn't work like that. Women fucking doesn't play out like an engineering problem. Alphas get cheated on for betas a lot. Weaker, softer, wimpier betas. Because it felt right and they were new. There is no upping your game to become new. It's like trying to overfill a bucket with holes. No level of value or game will ever prevent cheating. Crapshoot. Consider each day the last

[–]mrpoopistan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When you're comparing something to smoking tobacco, you're talking about the crapshoot. Seriously, read before you jump in with a counterargument that isn't even a counterargument.

It's like trying to overfill a bucket with holes.

Congratulations. You literally have figured out the Red Queen Hypothesis as it pertains to evolution and hypergamy. Solid 100-level, "read the sidebar" stuff there.

[–]wzachmorris2-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

DUDE, please don’t make it into a gender thing. There are good people and bad people. It’s not about women. Men have done a lot worse. If you start looking at this from a “women are like this” standpoint, you’re gonna start hating women. You are a champ for leaving though. It’s the only chance you get to come out on top and get respect from her. Don’t let her fuck with your ego.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You know what? Of all the men I've known in my life...friends, co-workers, relatives etc, every one of them who I've talked to about relationships has been cheated on at least a couple times by ex gf's.

This sub isn't about hating women, btw, it's about understanding their very nature so you don't have to hate them (or yourself) when you find yourself in OP's shoes.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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