Q4 RP Men: How many of you actually paternity tested your kids?

JohnDoe9564 · 2021-01-07T13:53:45+00:00

I hear a lot of talk about paternity fraud in RP spaces, so I'm curious to know how many of you Red Pill men actually went ahead and did it....

[–]SeemedGood37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link

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[–]-saraelizabeth-0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s the racist with poor reading comprehension version of the story. Predatory old black man forcibly rapes young blond, blue-eyed white girl.

The objective likelihood is that she was sleeping with at least one other guy (of indeterminate age) and was “statutorily” raped by her white 35 year old coach because she found him attractive and she was clearly exploring her sexuality.

No doubt he was suspect for being 35 and banging a 16 year old, but in 1967 it probably didn’t even amount to statutory rape.

Edit: I remember how the young teenage girls hearts were all fluttering for our 30 year old Chad of a gym teacher who drove a Lotus. The boys wanted to be just like him because all the girls couldn’t stop talking about him and flirting with him. Wouldn’t be surprised at all if one of them tried to sleep with him, there were certainly rumors. He also ended up sleeping with two of the hottest teachers at the school, both of whom were married to other teachers and subsequently divorced - 1970s and 1980s private school drama.

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[–]-Acta-Non-Verba-16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

TRP assumes AWALT. My life experience tells me some women are great and trustworthy, some are shitty, and most are somewhere in between. Just like men are.

I married a person of sterling moral character. She can't lie, even when playing a game, it shows all over her face because it's so rare for her. She would never steal. She was a virgin upon marriage in her mid-twenties. Year after year after year she has displayed high moral character in all she does. Yes, we're religious.

The point is, I trust my wife. If I didn't, she wouldn't be my wife.

There is much of value that I have learned from RP. But the blanket assumptions about women all being the same is not one of them. Men are not all the same, neither are women. Learning to tell good people from bad people, and keeping good people around while discarding bad ones is an essential skill in life. Don't generalize, evaluate, asses, do extreme vetting, and choose. Over and over again.

The other side of this is that if you want to marry a good person, you have to be a good person, because that's what good people are looking for as a partner.

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Curious here. If a wife wanted to put some tracking app on her husband, or wanted to consistently read all of his messages, emails, whatever. Or maybe she demands a picture from whenever he’s out with his friends to prove he’s not cheating... would that be OK? Bc it ‘helps her feel more secure’? After all, cheating happens all the time and how can she really know without proof?

(The point I’m making here is that would be abusive, controlling behaviour)

If they wanna make paternity tests mandatory so that there isn’t the accusatory thing flying around, sure go for it. Except that hospital labs already have plenty of work without it.

Edit: I’d also be fine with removing the requirement to sign a birth certificate. Didn’t even know that was a thing tbh. But best believe if my partner refused to sign, I’d reconsider that relationship.

[–]LondonLobby0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

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[–]abaxeron✴️Indian Programmer8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Not only did I go ahead.

I informed my partner that we're doing it basically as soon as we found out she's pregnant. One more time: I simply informed her that it's the fact of our future. There's no if, no maybe, and no let's discuss.

I didn't do a useless money wasting DIY cheek swab kit, and directly paid for a full test with two medical witnesses that is admissible in court.

I did not do fetus test through mother's blood sample, since it's insanely expensive. So, we had to wait a little after the kid was born, since DNA test lab workers didn't have proper licensing done for taking samples from newborns.

Most of her relatives are unaware I demanded the test; she asked me specifically not to tell anyone outside the "immediate circle" (parents and siblings).

She was surprisingly understanding, didn't argue, and never brought it up again except as a joke.

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That’s fair.

I’m a big believer in vetting out the person you’re with. If you have options when you’re dating and aren’t someone that generally needs to settle, then you really should take your time and make sure who you’re with aligns with you are. This goes for every part of your life. Not just the one we’re discussing now.

But if you’re someone that got caught up, don’t have many options, or simply just prefer to be with that person even if they demand things you don’t want. Then yes, do it in secrecy.

When my child was born I cried in the delivery room because it was so emotional and a lot to take in. But seeing the paper after the fact proving it was mine, is a different feeling.

For me - it really kinda brought everything together. Like I said, I didn’t really talk to her much about it other than 3-4 minutes. If that.

But I get your point.

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Asking for a paternity test IS accusing someone of cheating. How isn’t it? Please explain that.

Sure! Most men should be about 99 % certain that their baby is theirs. Most studies of extra-pair paternity come up with frequencies in the 1 - 5 % range, sometimes higher, but if you trust your wife, you should be about 99 % certain that a baby is yours. For anything else, that would be certain enough, but given the stakes it makes sense to do the test.

not understanding how someone could be offended by that

I understand why women might feel offended. No one wants to hear that their partner doesn't trust them blindly, even if it's irrational. It's difficult for either sex to see the other's point of view on this topic. That's why for most men, the best course of action is just to do the test quietly.

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I agree with this, and would also add that just because a woman agrees that paternity testing is reasonable in the abstract doesn't mean she'll feel the same way when she conceived a baby in marriage, with a husband she's faithful to, carried it for nine months, went through labor and delivery and is recovering from childbirth and you say "Welp, guess it's time to get that paternity test we talked about."

Speaking as someone who's currently undergoing a complicated pregnancy that was two years in the making, there are a LOT of emotions tied up in that. To go through this pregnancy, knowing that I have been unfailingly faithful to my husband and want nothing more than to have a child with him and underwent pain and surgery and heartache to make that happen, grew his child in my body for nine months and then pushed it out, and knowing that all the while he was questioning whether this child was his, would be utterly heartbreaking. Even though I understand it intellectually, six months deep into a pregnancy it's impossible to separate your emotions from it.

Here's my thing. It took me a long time to come around on this but I have finally reached the point where I understand where men are coming from here when they say that their need for paternal certainty isn't necessarily a suspicion that their wife cheated. Even though it FEELS like that to me as a woman, when I zoom out and look at it objectively from a neutral standpoint I understand what they mean. But if your need for a paternity test truly has nothing to do with her, if you are certain of her fidelity but need the test to put your mind at ease, if it really isn't about HER at all, then why the desperate need to involve her in the conversation? If we are truly to believe that it's not actually about her, then I can't understand why you need to tell her and put her through that emotional wringer. Just swab the baby, get the test, and if the results are positive then tear them up and throw them out and never speak of it again.

Yes she will still be upset if she finds out but it's very unlikely that she will. If you can avoid the heartache and the headache and the conflict over something that you insist really has nothing to do with her in the first place, why wouldn't you?

[–]missileBellum omnium contra omnes2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]death_by_1000_catsrisky vagina lifestyle2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This is probably the best comment on the entire thread. If giving money to Reddit didn't make someone a bigger cuck than having all of your children conceived by other men, I would give this gold.

This genuinely made me LOL.

I actually had an epiphany about this topic in a really stupid way. I've been on PPD for several years so the whole paternity test argument is one I've had here many times. A year or so ago I had been arguing about it all morning and then my husband and I went to a movie. During the movie I had my purse in my lap, and for some reason I kept having this overwhelming urge to check and make sure my keys were in my purse. Even though I KNEW my keys were there, I had put them there myself and my purse had been in my lap the whole time so there was literally no way short of supernatural interference that my keys wouldn't be in there. And yet I couldn't focus on the movie until I reached in my purse and felt my keys. I did it several times throughout the movie. Intellectually I KNEW my keys were there, I knew there was no way they weren't there, but until I FELT them and made sure, I couldn't get the nagging "What if they're not there?" out of my head.

And I realized oh, okay, that's how men feel about paternity. It is possible to know something beyond a shadow of a doubt and still have that niggling "what if?" in your lizard brain that won't be satisfied until you get proof. It was a really dumb way to come around on this topic but there it is.

So like, I get it, I have total sympathy for it but I also have sympathy for the female perspective (assuming the female in question really was faithful). At the end of the day it's irrational (or pre-rational), visceral emotion at work on both sides. Getting the kid tested on the sly seems like the best way to quell everyone's insecurities in a situation where really both are valid.

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"Studies ranging in date from 1991 to 1999 quote the following incidence rates: 11.8% (Mexico), 4.0% (Canada), 2.8% (France), 1.4% and 1.6% (UK), and 0.8% (Switzerland).[5] These numbers suggest that the widely quoted and unsubstantiated figure of 10% of non-paternal events is an overestimate. However, in studies that solely looked at couples who obtained paternity testing because paternity was being disputed, there are higher levels: an incidence of 17% to 33% (median of 26.9%). Most at risk were those born to younger parents, to unmarried couples and those of lower socio-economic status, or from certain cultural groups.[6]"

Like yeah If you hookup with a girl and she says you're the father when she's pregnant it's probably good to get a paternity test, but you grossly misused your statistic because it's not representative of married couples.

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Q4 RP Men: How many of you actually paternity tested your kids?

Comments

Women will only be jailed for serious crimes, Justice Secretary reveals

Title	Q4 RP Men: How many of you actually paternity tested your kids?
Author	JohnDoe9564
Upvotes	68
Comments	375
Date	January 7, 2021 1:53 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ksdomv/q4_rp_men_how_many_of_you_actually_paternity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4-rp-men-how-many-of-you-actually-paternity.729741 https://theredarchive.com/post/729741