Walked out of diner on first date yesterday!

Inspection-Critical · 2021-02-22T16:52:41+00:00

I wonder how long it took him to realize you'd left.

grayforamerica · 2021-02-22T18:04:24+00:00

On my first real dinner date the guy brought his iPad. He was a manager and said he needed it for work because he was on call, so I’m like that’s fine as long as he doesn’t use it for more than a minute I guess.

He was talking to other girls on it through Facebook messenger. I know this because he had it laying on the table with the brightness all the way up and was giggling at his conversations the whole time.

FabledAngryVillager · 2021-02-22T15:42:39+00:00

I don't even do that to friends. So rude.

shockingupdate · 2021-02-22T18:40:24+00:00

“I’m gonna use my POWER PLAY on her and IGNORE her and make her JEALOUS this is gonna get me SO LAID heheheheh wait where’d she go”

Summerisle7 · 2021-02-22T15:50:05+00:00

LOVE THIS

LittleWinn · 2021-02-22T15:51:55+00:00

Would have done the same, that is so incredibly rude and disrespectful.

LuckyCharmsLass · 2021-02-22T18:43:35+00:00

I had one that kept trying to hold my hand across the table. Our second meetup. He seemed like a nice gentleman on our first 'date' that was basically just coffee. This was dinner. He grabbed my hand while I was looking at the menu. I thought, ok. This is weird. It made reading the menu a little awkward. I pulled my hand back as soon as I was able to extricate it. Kept them both in my lap, as we waited to be served.

Drinks and appetizers arrived. I needed to use my hands... and I'll be damned if he didn't grab one again. I pulled it back and said, excuse, I need my hand to eat, and laughed. He said, 'Oh no, I can see you are uncomfortable with intimacy, so you need to get comfortable with someone touching you'.

I calmly caught the waitresses eye, she came over to the table, I said, may I have a check for the drink and the appetizer I ordered?, but not the dinner. I folded my hands under my chin. And smiled. She said, of course, and went to prepare a separate check for me. She knew I was getting OUTTA there.

He says... you don't have to wait, it's covered. So I opened my purse, pulled out my wallet, grabbed a $10, laid it on the table, and said, that's for the waitress.

My phone rang about 15 minutes later, I was still driving home. It was him. I didn't answer.

Since that day, I learned one thing: tell them 'no' about something they want. Early on. You will find out quickly how controlling and demeaning they are.

bride-of-sevenless · 2021-02-22T17:25:19+00:00

I bet he did that to "test" you to see what he could get away with. Not today, satan!

spinsterchachkies · 2021-02-22T15:40:14+00:00

What the hell is wrong with men?? That is so rude! Good job leaving because that is so disrespectful.

tinykittenteeths · 2021-02-22T18:44:49+00:00

I fucking love that you turned the tables like that. To imagine him sat there for ages and then it dawning on him. Him driving home thinking about how you just walked out, and how he waited. 😭😭😭👏👏👏

Meccha_me_2 · 2021-02-22T20:19:35+00:00

Don’t underestimate the importance of what you did that night! Story time:

I had a friend who was an amazing woman but was always a pickmeisha. She went on a first date with a guy and when they got to the restaurant he said he had to take a phone call for work and that he would be “ten mins.” He left the table and was in the bathroom on the phone for almost an HOUR and she just sat there and waited for him. She said that when he got back she implied that what he did was kind of rude but brushed it off because he was super apologetic. And I think her accepting his behavior was the beginning of an absolutely absurd relationship.

Next date he didn’t show. He texted her at the time he was supposed to arrive saying he got caught up with a friend. She STILL went on the date. She finally got some sense and broke it off and he chased her for weeks saying he could see himself with her and that she was someone he really wanted in his life.

The rest was just absurd. They became official but she said she always wanted her to meet his exes because he was proud of being friends with them? So they would do two on one dates with women he’s dated in the past? He also had ED and was overall flaky and odd.

6 months later he dumped her because he said he woke up one day and realized he only liked her as a friend the entire time. He seriously wasted her time and she let him because she refused to see the flags. Good on you for not falling for it!!

prettyexcitingnews · 2021-02-22T16:13:16+00:00

What the fuck. Sorry this happened to you. Great that you didn’t let this dude waste your time further.

purziveplaxy · 2021-02-22T17:39:41+00:00

I don't even do that around my friends. Totally rude behavior. It would have only gotten worse. Date #1 and he can't ignore his friends for fifteen fucking minutes.

eveloe · 2021-02-22T18:57:14+00:00

Big hoop energy.

I love it. I wonder how much longer he was in his phone before he realised. Now he’s gonna be worried every time a woman needs to use the restroom 😂

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-02-22T16:30:59+00:00

Perfect response.

jargon_explosion · 2021-02-22T17:52:22+00:00

Good job! I have zero tolerance for texting while we are actively hanging out or out for dinner or drinks or whatever else. You are taking up my time and you can't get off your phone? It's rude. It will never not be rude.

Foreverme133 · 2021-02-22T18:06:08+00:00

Good! People are on their best behavior on first dates anyway. So you can only imagine how he'd be if you went on more dates with him.

vaguelinen · 2021-02-22T15:54:06+00:00

On my first (dinner) date with my boyfriend he went to get more drinks and I was just gazing out of the window watching the people outside (it had rained and it was a prettily lit area so it was a nice scene to muse over. That decided it for him. He loved that I didn’t pull out my phone. Naturally this means he wasn’t on his phone either (we dated for over a month before I even saw it) but was instead taking in the scene and the opportunity to check me out.

It seemed such a small funny thing at the time that we liked each other for not being phone obsessed but actually it’s huge. I had sorted childcare and committed to wearing a dress etc and he’d travelled to my town, ironed a shirt etc. It’s just how we ought to behave!

Edit: Good for you and if I’m ever dating again, I hope to have your attitude.

littlepip38042 · 2021-02-22T16:47:46+00:00

Excellent--can you imagine putting up with that ALL THE TIME? No, cut him out early.

eveloe · 2021-02-22T17:20:05+00:00

Loool I have done this during bad sex. I was tired of teaching a grown man what to do.

Diamond_fairy · 2021-02-22T16:32:11+00:00

Very well done! People that pull out their dirty and nasty phones during any social situation - let alone a date - without it being a serious emergency, deserve no less than being left there hanging.

oceanstains · 2021-02-22T18:10:38+00:00

QUEEN

Velvettcum · 2021-02-22T16:29:22+00:00

Who's on their phone for 15 minutes on a date?

Maybe it's his baby mama asking for CS. -/j

scooter_se · 2021-02-22T18:55:11+00:00

We love to see it ladies 💅🏻

littygirllilly · 2021-02-22T18:45:27+00:00

This is GOLD. Proud of you!

Winter-Firefly · 2021-02-22T18:04:56+00:00

Good on you for leaving! If he won’t value your time and attention then you have to.

Meadow97 · 2021-02-22T22:08:05+00:00

Good on you!

That's so disrespectful. It's insane how men think this is acceptable behaviour.

I had this happen to me for the first time last year also. He was texting and scrolling through Instagram and twitter in the cinema. Excused myself to the toilet and blew out, blocked him on the bus ride home.

abby_ch238 · 2021-02-22T22:40:39+00:00

On a related note, what is with guys and going on their phones while on a date? My LVX used to always be talking to his friends while on dates so one day I just started doing the same as he was doing AND SUDDENLY MANS IS SO UPSET LIKE WHY AM I ON MY PHONE WHEN WE’RE ON A DATE. When I pointed out he was doing the exact same thing he just wouldn’t acknowledge it.

At the time I didn’t even know what gaslighting was and later on I found out my ex is a narcissist but even then, it seems every woman has had an experience where when we give men the same energy they suddenly act hurt and pretend they didn’t do what they did. Like where did they all learn to gaslight like that!?

2021-02-22T16:51:05+00:00

next time dont wait

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-02-22T19:22:53+00:00

👏👏👏👏Queen right there.

alienflowercatz · 2021-02-23T06:15:59+00:00

He was probably scheduling other dates

alwaysonalongtrip · 2021-02-23T00:38:51+00:00

I can understand if you rushed straight from work having to check or send 1 message when you sit down. You should apologize and it should take less than a minute.

15 minutes??? He was negging or just that self-absorbed.

Honestly_th0 · 2021-02-23T06:35:56+00:00

I so wish I could go back in time and do this!

Sensitive-Shoe-1079 · 2021-02-22T21:16:40+00:00

I love that you just left. Perfect. Good job.

nutterbye · 2021-02-23T00:33:48+00:00

I am so proud of you!!!

perkytitssolidshits · 2021-02-22T23:30:31+00:00

What an idiot lol and he probably did it to seem like he was an important, busy man, working hard and lots of friends and socials lol.... in reality he’s addicted to Instagram and plays games half the day masterbates the other half lool

yolosunshine · 2021-02-23T00:31:24+00:00

Not a vibe!

eveloe · 2021-02-25T16:00:28+00:00

Why do I want to write a novel based around this scene?! 😂😩😂😩

saltedpretzel2 · 2021-02-22T23:57:51+00:00

Yassss queeen!

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Sewud · 2021-02-22T19:30:01+00:00

This might get me the ire of the FDS mods, but I think you should have more respect for the staff. If the man doesn't decide to take the responsibility for paying for your meal after you left, you committed theft. I would say you should go up to the staff and pay your bill before you leave.

Title	Walked out of diner on first date yesterday!
Author	luvk9s
Upvotes	1509
Comments	131
Date	February 22, 2021 12:05 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lpmgyk/walked_out_of_diner_on_first_date_yesterday/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/walked-out-of-diner-on-first-date-yesterday.750137 https://theredarchive.com/post/750137

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