Along the same lines as the post about not being afraid to lie - saw this infographic on FB the other day, very helpful for the "too-friendly" of us

purasangria · 2021-08-17T23:40:52+00:00

Also: When using a ride share app, screenshot when your driver is assigned so you have the name and the license of the car. This info will disappear if the driver cancels the ride or when the ride finishes, so if he cancels and then does something weird, you won't be able to ID him.

aspermyprevious · 2021-08-18T00:10:40+00:00

My husband is traveling for work. He knows not to post any pictures until he’s back home. So as not to alert someone that I’m home alone. Also leaves his car in front and takes a Lyft to the airport.

SuitablePerformance3 · 2021-08-17T23:42:04+00:00

At this point I've stopped using Uber and rideshare services entirely. They let men with violent records work for them and don't take reports seriously. I've been harassed multiple times while in an Uber, I'm not doing it anymore.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2021-08-18T02:01:13+00:00

Women have been socially conditioned to be "nice and polite" to everyone. And it's not to women's advantage (e.g. Ted Bundy's victims who stopped to help).

sagicorn2791 · 2021-08-17T23:54:25+00:00

When I have food delivered I use a man's name instead of my real name.

CornPopsLover · 2021-08-18T01:42:13+00:00

Omg one time my girlfriend and I reported our Lyft driver. He was being so creepy and saying he wanted to come hang out with us (we were going to the bar) and that he could make this his last ride and saying things like “wow, you girls must have money to be paying for a ride and going out for drinks” 🤮

AyemHerself · 2021-08-18T00:46:30+00:00

To add to this: If a strange man asks if you have a boyfriend, the answer is always yes.

I made the mistake of honestly saying "no" to a creepy guy at college and he got really pushy/flirty with me afterward. Did the same to who knows how many other women at the dorms, and I heard he raped a woman.

Sometimes this doesn't change their minds, though. I said "yes" to having a boyfriend on another occasion and the guy's response was "well he doesn't have to know anything"

TheNextMrsDraper · 2021-08-18T03:58:46+00:00

I’d also like to add that if you’re on a “girls’ trip” at an Airbnb or other house rental, don’t talk about it when you’re in public places. You’d be amazed how many details you inadvertently reveal while talking amongst yourselves.

A friend’s sister was almost raped because a man overheard them talking in the grocery store and figured out it was a group of girls alone. He broke in after they all went to be and tied one of them up, thankfully another girl woke up and scared him. When the cops caught the guy he admitted to overhearing their conversation and tracking them to the vacation house.

I’ve been on vacation with friends and it’s amazing how feeling carefree can lull you into over sharing. I’ve had to warn friends not to tell the uber driver we’re all by ourselves. Worst one was when my (female) boss explained - in detail - to a rando in the hot tub at a condo complex in Tahoe that we were on a work trip with all the men in one cabin and all the women in another, (and that was after he said he’d figured out exactly where we were staying)! That was a harrowing night, but thankfully all he did was match with one of us later on a dating app. Still creepy.

greater_yellowlegs · 2021-08-18T01:42:01+00:00

I work in a hotel and we try to make small talk with our guests. The amount of info people share is mind boggling and has made me very aware of what to not say when I travel. Please remember these tips when traveling/staying at a hotel too. I’ve never heard of a creepy hotel employee but creeps are everywhere and I don’t want them to know anything about me beyond the bare minimum.

Junior-Lion7893 · 2021-08-18T00:48:34+00:00

I don’t even talk to my uber driver lol I have my earphones in and pretend that I’m listening to music. Or I pretend to be texting my friend.

kwallio · 2021-08-18T01:29:24+00:00

I drive uber/lyft. Always check the license plate! So few people do this and it solves so many problems. If you're not sure if you have the correct driver ask the driver to show you your profile on their phone.

Also, as someone who drives uber, if you use a neighbors address please remember that you did this. The number of times I have shown up and gotten yelled at for being at an address a few doors down is staggering. If you want to be picked up at your door, use your own freaking address for crying out loud.

DarlingZiv · 2021-08-18T06:53:48+00:00

its not only uber and such, carefull of grocery delivery men too. had one that you could clearly see was way older than me kept asking personal questions while i was paying the bill and asking me to go to dinner with him. had to say i dont go out without my teenage son several times for him to give up. i thought that would kill his interest. i never ordered in that time frame again so i dont get the same driver.

BasketLow8411 · 2021-08-18T02:37:14+00:00

Gawd I hate this. I had to tell one of my kids today to be careful of road rage too. I honked at someone passing me on the right when I was waiting for a pedestrian and it was absolutely the right use of the horn. And, at the same time, I was worried as a woman that I would enrage that driver and spark a road rage incident. Why are men so violent and entitled that we have to adjust our lives to be extra careful??

paperwasp3 · 2021-08-18T02:11:00+00:00

I’m always afraid the locksmith isn’t kosher. I saw a TV show as a kid and it always stuck in my head

TwerkshireSausage · 2021-08-18T04:09:18+00:00

Ok, so I don't know if any ladies watch this show but in Netflix's Tuca and Bertie, Bertie has her afternoon intruded on by an unscheduled plumber who keeps mentioning how small she is and how he could overpower her easily.

One of the tips that he gives her is to leave her boyfriend's shoes outside so that people will know that there's a "Man in the House."

:(

Independence_BR · 2021-08-18T02:02:17+00:00

This is valuable advice - Never be rude, never panic, never show emotion, just make up a lie that make you less of a potential target.

Sadly, men who ask this sort of shit are very low in the rankings of predatism: most are just trying to get lucky and taking chances, but are still predators.

Also, ALWAYS report those pests to their companies. We shoudn't take this lightly, as even after we dodge a bullet, other women would be at risk

manevi_devrim · 2021-08-18T04:09:31+00:00

I was selling a car and stupidly used my real name on the ad. I had one guy text me wanting to see it. Literally 3 back n forth texts setting a time, zero chance anything could be misconstrued as flirting. Then he tacked on at the end "you must be cute in person." I'm glad he said that cuz i immediately said i did not want to meet him. But was absolutely floored he would think or say that based solely on a female name. Not to mention he got angry and dropped the f-bomb. Seriously dodged a bullet there.

aoi4eg · 2021-08-18T08:26:24+00:00

A while ago saw this picture somewhere on reddit and comments were filled with "nice guys" whining about how women are paranoid and now they can't even come to a total stranger on a street with an intend to hit on her.

Oh no, what should I do? Miss an opportunity to give a chance to a "really nice guy" or miss an opportunity to get murdered/mugged? What a hard choice indeed.

TeaTay · 2021-08-18T04:37:39+00:00

In the words of my favorite true crime podcast hosts: fuck politeness

raqueloli18 · 2021-08-18T04:41:32+00:00

It’s so sad that we always have to say that we are “somebody’s property” for creeps to leave us alone

bitchyrussianbot · 2021-08-18T14:41:01+00:00

Jesus tap dancing Christ! Being a woman is exhausting.

intrepidis_dux · 2021-08-18T04:44:22+00:00

Yep told a landscaper the other day that I have a husband and he's at work. (I'm single)

xiumin420 · 2021-08-18T08:17:01+00:00

Saying "Who are you here to pick up?" feels like such obvious common sense but it's never occurred to me until now...

foxlashes · 2021-08-18T02:57:24+00:00

This is great! I've always done a lot of this stuff and I know a fair amount of friends who have too. We'd give fake names to guys at bars or to cab drivers, always get people to drop us off at the wrong house, and never - I mean NEVER - walk alone at night.

I don't go out much anymore but when I meet friends now we make sure to be on time so we don't keep the other one waiting alone, only meet at places with good reviews, don't hang around outside and then make sure I see them get home safely. It's also useful to tell friends and loved ones what you're doing, not just when you meet a guy, but even just for drinks with a friend because incidents can happen anywhere any time. It might sound annoying but Snapchat is good for that kind of thing. Just sending a snap of you arriving at the location to some close friends is always a good idea, and another one when you get home. We make them funny or silly but we know it's to reassure one another.

This may all sound a bit extreme but I grew up in a high-crime country and people I know now in the States always comment that I don't need be so vigilant anymore. I just see it as being street smart. Women aren't out there committing violence against other women so the more we protect each other the more chance we have of preventing violence against us by men.

witchy2628 · 2021-08-18T14:47:10+00:00

So sad we need to portray a man attached to us everywhere we go to feel safe.

AnniaT · 2021-08-18T06:55:43+00:00

Scrotes are already sliding into DMs mad about us lying for our safety lol

But yes never overshare. Not just with men but in general.

modernmedusaa · 2021-08-18T07:23:40+00:00

Screw Uber....

I swear they hire some of the most sketchy men I’ve ever met

I don’t trust their hiring process. Most the drivers could barely speak basic English, didn’t know the roads, struggled to find my pick up location etc

Also a couple of times I fell asleep in an Uber home and woke up to them taking me a much longer route than they were supposed to - so they could charge me more.

Absolutely do not get in an Uber drunk on your own if you can avoid it

Last time I was in one...the guy kept pressing me asking intimate questions and perving at me through the mirror. Like bruh....I don’t know you like that. Asking me where I live etc.

The only time I didn’t mind uber was when I was in Cali & had female drivers - funnily enough they were far more competent.

I prefer old school cabbies who’ve been in the job a long while. I once had a cabbie spot me waiting outside in the dark for a late Uber, he offered to take me to the airport for free so I wasn’t out on my own. He was a rare good egg lol

Uber Eats is high key incompetent too- hiring any old clowns. They will turn up two hours late, ignore my clear directions then seem shocked I’m angry.

Davina33 · 2021-08-18T09:19:42+00:00

Oh yes. When we were 18, my friend and I went out clubbing. We had a nice party dress on each, had pre- drinks and called a taxi to take us into town. On the way there, the gross taxi driver offered to waive our fare if we agreed to hike our dresses up and show him what was underneath. We refused and were horrified. I wished I had reported it back then but I was at an age where I didn't like to complain about anything. Some things only come with experience.

PeachPitiless · 2021-08-18T12:17:33+00:00

I ordered a pizza once when I lived alone and when I opened the door for the driver, I got a weird feeling. He looked at my bottom half strangely and told me he liked my pants. I've been in this body long enough to know that means, "I like your ass." Especially since the more crass men on the street will just come out and say that.

Then he asks if I have a dog. I say no, wondering if he's just worried one is going to run out the door and attack him. But then my fears are confirmed when he just straight up asks if I'm in the house alone. I say no, even though I am, and move to close the door in his face. As it's closing on him, he tries to ask me out.

Be rude, your safety is more important than a man's feelings. A HVM will understand, and won't put you in sketchy situations anyway.

sorakaislove · 2021-08-18T07:08:45+00:00

Oof I'm guilty of a couple of these... saved the post, thanks.

victoriabowen8 · 2021-08-18T15:36:12+00:00

Yep, When I did a solo trip to Vegas in 2019 I took a cab from the airport to the hotel and the driver was friendly but he did ask if I was single and then asked if I was here alone. I did have a bf at the time so I was honest and said I had a bf and then I said I was meeting friends at the hotel, we had to fly in different times but we're all meeting up today. There's no need to be rude if they're just making polite conversation but definitely be safe and don't trust strangers.

Thing is though it's not just your cab/uber. I had no choice but to check into my hotel alone, the hotel staff know I'm there alone. But not much you can do about that? I feel pretty safe in Vegas though because I've been there over 20 times and there are literally cameras covering every square inch of the hotels. Not sure I'd feel safe travelling to many places alone though. I live in Canada.

Also, don't post about your vacation WHILE on vacation. All you're doing is advertising that your home is vacant. I always wait until I'm home before posting my vacation stuff. I also don't talk about when I'm going away on social media. I might say I booked a trip but I never give out the dates. If someone asks when I'm going, if I trust them I'll pm them. If I don't then I just ignore.

Villanelloh · 2021-08-18T10:24:52+00:00

Yet another example to show men we aren't living life on eAsY mOdE because we're women.

mysecretdiary2 · 2021-08-18T03:18:24+00:00

I’m so sorry that this type of stuff happens. I live in a very, very safe country and most people are polite enough not to ask weird questions at all.

doc-2-be · 2021-08-18T20:52:00+00:00

This isl so important! Thank you!

Altowhovian93 · 2021-08-19T05:35:27+00:00

Ugh. My DH loves sharing his whole life story and small talking with Uber to the Walmart cashier. I say have a nice day, talk about the weather, that’s it. We had to have several conversations about how that’s a safety issue for me as a woman and the whole world doesn’t need to know our itinerary. This is coming from the same person who wants to have a $500 camera system at home!

Title	Along the same lines as the post about not being afraid to lie - saw this infographic on FB the other day, very helpful for the "too-friendly" of us
Author	top_of_the_stairs
Upvotes	4112
Comments	116
Date	August 17, 2021 11:20 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/p6f3dg/along_the_same_lines_as_the_post_about_not_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/along-the-same-lines-as-the-post-about-not-being.1058181 https://theredarchive.com/post/1058181

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