Studying for a psych test. Thought you would appreciate this tidbit- postpartum depression in men is related to feeling “replaced by baby” 😭😭😭

salthoney · 2022-01-23T06:17:44+00:00

Reminds me of the post here on reddit many years ago, might have been RA or AITA, of the man who was jealous of his baby son. He wanted sex out of his wife asap after birth. She was stretched thin between recovery and caring for a brand new baby. He got upset b/c she wouldn‘t give him a bj, started yelling and telling her to suck the babies d, since he was her husband now.

Imagine being this much of a manchild, getting jealous of your own son, wanting to take away resources from your own son. I guess this is what happens when you become a literal mommy bangmaid. Mommy to the man, not the child 🤦‍♀️

Platipus6 · 2022-01-23T04:12:26+00:00

Maybe they'd feel better if they stopped being a parasite on the woman and started contributing more to their wife and infant that relies on adults or it dies.

Men like being needed, or so they keep claiming.

DankBias · 2022-01-23T06:20:20+00:00

Men: we provide for the family Also men: mommy no makie me sandwich 😭

olivialovegood · 2022-01-23T05:20:50+00:00

This annoys me so much. They see their wives as a resource that gets taken away from them. This puts the mother in a position where she feels she has to divide her energy between baby and husband. In reality it should be BOTH parents giving equal effort to take care of the baby.

Sallou9 · 2022-01-23T08:12:13+00:00

You wouldn't feel "replaced by the baby" if your relation to your partner didn't resemble one of a mother-baby so much.

In other words, if you were an equal partner, experienced mutal respect and admiration, instead of being babied by your partner (chores, emotional labor, parasitic, etc)

yoursultana · 2022-01-23T06:57:54+00:00

They’re sad bc they have to share their slave with a baby now. Less focus on them.

This is why you must critically analyze everything ladies. Just bc it’s so called academia does NOT mean it’s accurate or free from male depravity bias.

Uruzdottir · 2022-01-23T05:11:12+00:00

It's like a four year-old who is sulky because he feels displaced as the apple of Mummy's eye by a new baby brother or sister.

What is wrong with these guys? Why are grown men so NEEDY?

JulyParade · 2022-01-23T06:10:35+00:00

Men don't want to be parents - they want to be parented. Got it.

spinsterchachkies · 2022-01-23T06:19:10+00:00

My uterus just shut down reading that

herbivorouscarnivore · 2022-01-23T04:15:24+00:00

The last part sounds like pouty manbabies refusing to parent because they’re jealous. This is why we need to stop allowing L/NVM to procreate with us. A HVM coparents. In the caveman days, the L/NVM were the ones who ate their own young.

GeorgiaPeach_94 · 2022-01-23T08:21:56+00:00

That's because they are taking on the role of the baby, wanting to be coddled by mommy, rather than the provider who's taking care of the woman and is also capable of taking care of the offspring.

What an evolutionary fail. In the wild they would be weeded out by stronger competitors.

MacrameGoose34 · 2022-01-23T04:44:30+00:00

I've been noticing a lot of men's depression stems from a basic lack of empathy. They are socialized to get rid of their empathy from a young age, so if their validation supply changes even a bit they are forced to deal with the gaping emotional void within themselves that they incessantly try and fill up with stuff, power plays and digital dopamine hits like porn and video games.

Its why they cheat or tire of a partner that they aggressively pursued. At baseline they feel empty, and if they don't have immediate access to their weird coping mechanisms their whole sense of self collapses.

Meanwhile women suffer postpartum from a myriad of reasons that are much more tangible.

I'd be curious what kind of questions the survey asked; is he genuinely depressed, unable to function or is he just mopey that he can't have instant gratification.

askmeabouttheforest · 2022-01-23T07:21:12+00:00

Well, that's clearly impossible, how could a functioning human adult feel threatened of replacement by someone completely dependant, who contributes absolutely nothing tangible and is a source of neverending work?

Oh, wait... /s

thinktwiceorelse · 2022-01-23T09:28:18+00:00

Of course it's a shock when she's your bangmaid and always does everything for you. If men were more independent, they wouldn't even notice they were "replaced by baby". They would cook, clean, go to work, talk to their therapist, as usual.

KindredMaximus · 2022-01-23T08:49:32+00:00

Yeah, while we are busy recovering and literally keeping a totally defenceless human alive that would die without us - 24/7. He's all - BuT wHAt AbOuT, meeeeeeee, cries, watches porn, masturbates and starts resenting his wife, who is literally sustaining a human life with her own body. Welp. What about the menz.

Maingurl · 2022-01-23T06:32:02+00:00

Many fathers feel like the baby comes first and gets all the mother's attention.

The baby should always get priority. Period. Get bent.

scorchedsouI · 2022-01-23T05:12:52+00:00

No shit the baby comes first? This isn't just a "feeling" some men get. It's reality, it's how it should be. The bond between mother and child is superior to all others.

Men are ultimately a means of having children, they provide the socially acceptable circumstances to start a family, and oftentimes the resources that are necessary.

Of course the baby will always come first.

liberal_queen21 · 2022-01-23T04:52:06+00:00

likely written by.. a man.

clithoodwink · 2022-01-23T14:18:34+00:00

This is so repulsive. The father is literally jealous of his own newborn baby. Sulking about, whining that the baby is getting all the attention from mommy and has replaced him as her most special child. These men are nauseatingly pathetic! Do they want their wives to forsake the newborn that literally depends on her for it’s survival to soothe and pamper your paper thin glass fragile ego? Get a grip, losers!

fdsbeginner · 2022-01-23T04:50:47+00:00

These are the same men who would left their wife gave birth alone while also left all the houseworks and babysitting to their wife only even she has full time job . These are men children

ifhewantedtohewould · 2022-01-23T06:32:47+00:00

Yeah because they’re used to being babied by their mothers and every woman in past relationships and they get jealous 🤡

Reasonable-Slice-827 · 2022-01-23T07:53:13+00:00

Effing pansies. They're not depressed they're spoiled AF.

veniphyl · 2022-01-23T08:23:51+00:00

I don't want kids. But if I ever changed my mind I would use sperm bank. Not gonna risk having this kind of thing to happen and having to divorce later.

Amazing_Wolverine_37 · 2022-01-23T04:30:37+00:00

This happened to me, AMA. My PHQ 9 (basic measure of depression) was 2 out of 27 at my post natal checkup. I shudder to think what my exes was but of course talking about it was off the table. 😬

Khentiamentiu42 · 2022-01-23T09:36:45+00:00

🤮🤮🤮

crafeminist · 2022-01-23T17:39:07+00:00

So does that mean that older siblings get post-partum depression when their siblings are born?

AnniaT · 2022-01-23T11:41:57+00:00

My father felt threatened by me when I was born and how my mother would put all the focus on me when I was a child. He even lashed out at me as a child and even blamed me for their divorce. I have a good relationship with my father now and he deeply apologized for his actions and harsh words but at the time this hurt a lot and I think some of my pick me behaviors came from this situation. I've also seen this in several couples. In more extreme cases we have physically abusive men or even straight out murders.

GlitteringContact8 · 2022-01-23T16:24:39+00:00

So pathetic. It’s YOUR baby too

wonkyeyes8877 · 2022-01-23T19:06:11+00:00

Another example of how men are not and have never been "providers".

Determinedblonde · 2022-01-23T10:48:25+00:00

How old is this? So wrong that it’s only 3 years. I’d toss this bullshit in the bin

Asbelowsoaboveme · 2022-01-23T17:26:29+00:00

Is there any way to vet for this? Maybe getting a pet together?

the-worst- · 2022-01-24T01:56:23+00:00

OF COURSE BABY COMES FIRST! Lol a newborn has no capacity to take care of itself. Grown ass men have the capability, but choose to be helpless babies instead.

blackmetalbetty · 2022-01-24T03:30:51+00:00

My mother did handy work with two different Hotepian/Oedipusian guys at differing times. I never saw her among the clapping parents at those elementary honor roll ceremonies and I balled up programs and flyers for events I knew we'd never attend with our emotionally avoidant family dynamic. They'd always insert themselves in some capacity, disrupting our parent-child/mother-daughter bond with some "black-man-headofhousehold-I come first bullshit". One instance I remember, the second guy interjecting that I could comb out/detangle my own hair when he walked in on my mom working on it. Literally a tradition/passtime/whatever you want to call it between black moms and their kids: working on their fucking hair. Both men have since departed this world. On some level, I hated them because they just saw themselves entitled to some enthused, sturdy ride or die eager to build up their properties (read:shacks) and egos, with occasional sexual dalliance tossed in. They'd have been satisfied if I'd never existed.

NotMyRealName814 · 2022-01-24T01:10:54+00:00

I'd bet that the men most likely to get "post partum depression" are the ones who pressured their wives to get pregnant in the first place.

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ItsFreezen · 2022-01-24T18:31:23+00:00

And this is their definition of Male Postpartum Depression WTF???

Title	Studying for a psych test. Thought you would appreciate this tidbit- postpartum depression in men is related to feeling “replaced by baby” 😭😭😭
Author	cicerii
Upvotes	643
Comments	68
Date	January 23, 2022 3:50 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/sakek5/studying_for_a_psych_test_thought_you_would/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/studying-for-a-psych-test-thought-you-would.1098083 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098083

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