Your Future in an Age Gap Relationship

Frogspocket · 2021-02-16T16:31:53+00:00

I cringed my way through that thread too. Painful. People were calling her out as a troll so i looked at her post history. In the past she's said that the thought of doing anything sexual with him makes her want to jump off a bridge, that she feels shes trapped in an unhealthy marriage, that she is repulsed by him, etc. But blames it on her period. And after her period shes able to convince herself that their marriage is totally better than everyone elses. She obviously hates him at her core but years of gaslighting and brainwashing is crushing her pyche. She was also a victim of abuse. So he swooped in on a lost 20 yr old with trauma when he was 40 something. Repulsive. And now it's catching up with her (it ALWAYS) does, women who are victims of predators DO snap out of it, but in the early stages they always go through an aggressive denial phase, which is what she's in. I hope she gets out and spends some time in reflection and therapy. And i hope she finds a new relationship so she can experience what an actual good relationship with a non-predator is like. I hate predators and age gap abuse.

Peengwin · 2021-02-16T17:37:01+00:00

When I was younger, I would date guys 8-15 years older than me and didn't think much of it because the guys were still relatively young at that age, too. Then one day I was on a flight for work and the couple next to me was a woman who was probably in her 50s and had to be the total caregiver for her older husband. She was still vibrant and he was unable to do much at all. I was like NOPE and never dated older again. When you're in your 20s it's sometimes hard to think alllll the way into the future, and mind you my own mom and friends were telling me to date older because they knew I was not into immature manchilds, but then it's also like um hello why is this older man still single and interested in someone younger to begin with?? LOSERS

Papaverinum · 2021-02-16T16:08:15+00:00

Should the roles be reversed, she'd be dumped in a matter of s e c o n d s. Gotta love double standards.

Jinxhourglass · 2021-02-16T16:02:10+00:00

Her main concerns don’t sound like age related problems they are actually his fault lol. It sounds like he doesn’t brush his teeth or shower. If he has a bad diet he’s probably eating things he can’t digest anymore that make his breath stink.

Unless he has dementia or something he’s just not disciplined. Whew if she thinks she’s a caregiver now...if he’s not exercising he’s going to be immobile soon and he will need someone to wipe his ass. 🤦‍♀️

Interesting_Day1188 · 2021-02-16T16:56:13+00:00

No, he's just gross.

My ex also started to 'deteriorate', he was 11 years older than me, and it came down to lack of personal hygiene. He got comfortable and stopped trying, where I did the reverse to try to keep the relationship alive much longer than I should have.

ciciplum · 2021-02-16T19:45:21+00:00

I hate that she says "i try to keep him healthy". SHE tries to?!???!?!??! Ugh

honeybeeroll · 2021-02-16T16:16:11+00:00

On one hand I feel bad for her but on the other I'm like....what a waste, what a stupid, unnecessary way that she CHOSE to waste her life. She hasn't been happy with this marriage for a loooooong time it sounds like, and yet she's staying AND lying to herself that the problem is he's getting older. Girl come on, she knows he's just a disgusting scrote. My dad is almost this man's age and doesn't have disgusting dental hygenie and also doesn't look like an old man. My grandma doesn't have these problems and she's almost 100. Dude just doesn't take care of himself and she unfortunately feels obligated to drag him along in life :/.

level_up_always · 2021-02-16T16:11:47+00:00

these scrotes have no qualms about leaving you as soon as anything isn't to their liking we need to do the same. they have zero sense of loyalty she's done enough. you can still love someone from afar.

aquarieux · 2021-02-16T17:43:48+00:00

Honestly, I tuned out when she wrote "we have had ups and downs in our relationship" right after saying they got together with a 20+ year age difference when she was "quite young." And then she goes on to write that "she", not "we", has been determined to make it work all this time. It sounds like he's never made true effort in their relationship. She doesn't and probably hasn't wanted to be with this man for some time now. She should leave him ASAP and enjoy the best years of her life with someone who takes care of himself and is the partner she actually wants. Men wouldn't think twice to leave their longtime partner in such a situation.

localgirlcult · 2021-02-16T17:26:19+00:00

I get why she's disgusted by him. It's completely understandable because yeah, he's too old for her. He seems to not even take care of himself so he looks even worse. Men often age terribly. Brainwashing of women and presenting lies as truth to women is 100 percent going on. Many women fall for it, I GET IT. But, even with all that to not recognize that very soon he will be an old man and you will still be pretty vibrant. I don't understand the complete lack of care for yourself and lack of thought for what your future with this man is gonna look like. What kind of father is he gonna be? How long will he be around? I feel like I put more thought into mundane things than she did into her future in this marriage. What did she think was gonna happen? Like genuinely what? She'll be 46 and wanting to do things and this man will be SEVENTY. Not that I don't feel bad for her because the way she presents it, the situation sounds sad and revolting. But she tied her life to someone 24 years older than her and is now like "eewww but he's oooold" I mean, yeah? She says she feels cheated. HOW. Did she not know the concept of time before? What advice could someone possibly give her except "leave"? All of these women end up as caretakers very quickly. It's just how it is. The only thing I can think of where I can get it is if she was reeeeaaally young and he groomed her.

shay7079 · 2021-02-16T17:36:52+00:00

This reminds me soo much of my grandad who left his wife for a younger woman fast forward a couple years his health start to fail and the younger girl runs away. My mum is stuck with him now, draining her account his paying medical bills . My auntie is in no contact with him because she can't look past the years of abuse and neglect ,he couldn't hit my mum as much because she would pass out everytime he hit her (scared him a little i guess). His life now is just different level of pathetic....I'm yet to hear anything positive about him.

souredskittles · 2021-02-16T18:16:09+00:00

💀 this post was real af.

At 42 you are still very young. I see my mum and she’s literally the same as when she was younger. Like I don’t see her as old and she doesn’t have those old man traits OP is talking about.

But ew, miss me with that age gap.

Davina33 · 2021-02-16T18:17:58+00:00

So true. I guess I'm lucky that I broke up with my much older ex at 35, he is 19 years older than me. I don't want that to be my life, a caretaker when I'm still young and want to enjoy life.

Tomoshaamoosh · 2021-02-16T21:20:26+00:00

In my line of work I recently encountered a dying 89 year old man and his 56 year old wife who couldn’t afford to retire because she had to keep working to pay for his care. Was sad to see

-badmadAM · 2021-02-16T20:54:05+00:00

Even men who still might look fit and care for themselves can do nothing about that certain "old-men" smell a lot of them have when they get older. Unfortunately I feel like I can smell it from miles away and it is so off- putting. It is hard to describe, but maybe some of you know what I mean? Maybe biology wants to tell us something here.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-02-16T16:49:08+00:00

Bet he was previously married and dumped his starter wife because she got a line between her brows. As ye sow so shall ye reap lol.

2021-02-16T18:48:35+00:00

it's not his fault

Hum, yes, it absolutely is. He doesn't have to let himself rot just because he's getting older. If his teeth and breath are bad, and he won't take care of himself, that's because when can't be bother to, for himself and because she's showed him she's happy" with his disgusting self.

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2021-02-16T18:48:11+00:00

This makes me feel so relieved I never married my ex. I saw a photo of him online and he had actual moobs. His wife now is a complete airhead and I don’t think it has even dawned on her that she’s going to be wiping his ass shortly. They have no money and can barely get by, so a care giver is out of the question. That’s going to be her karma for hooking up with a man in a monogamous relationship. 😂

SansaDeservedBetter · 2021-02-16T16:08:03+00:00

Exactly. 66 is not THAT old. If he eats healthy, drinks water, takes vitamins and works out, then he should be fine. The way she’s speaking, like he is decrepit, makes me think he isn’t taking care of himself. He doesn’t brush his teeth, and she convinced herself it’s because he’s aging. He knew he got a much younger woman locked in with marriage and kids so he gave up trying.

Davina33 · 2021-02-16T17:47:32+00:00

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iamtoopretty · 2021-02-16T18:59:44+00:00

In few years she's gonna double as his bedside nurse and still get excluded from his will

🤡🌎

relationship_reddit · 2021-02-17T02:34:36+00:00

After realizing how bad men are at taking care of themselves, and learning what pervs older men can be, I now hesitate to consider dating a man even 5 years older than me (I'm in my late 20s). I feel bad for women who end up in situations like this.

MACMUA · 2021-02-16T23:09:47+00:00

Girl your so close to that inheritance don’t leave now. Lol

I wish all younger females can read this before they get flattered when a old ass perv tries to talk to them

GoldandGlowing · 2021-02-17T06:31:42+00:00

Men leave their similarly aged wives because they no longer look twenty-three anymore. She best leave this old loser

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-02-16T20:57:54+00:00

It’s a lack of respect when your partner refuses to tend to their hygiene. Like okay, if you personally DGAF how you smell and live alone that’s thing , but when you’re living with someone else be considerate of your odor.

bunnytron · 2021-02-16T19:51:21+00:00

My mom’s friend married someone 25 years her senior. By the time she was this woman’s age with 2 teenage kids, the husband hurt his hip and was bedridden. He refused to ever be in their bedroom alone, and insisted on his bed being in the middle of the living room where he barked orders at everyone all day.

nyarlathotepkun · 2021-02-16T17:31:33+00:00

Sounds like her husband didn’t take care of himself and now she’s reaping what she sowed by marrying someone who probably always saw her as a caregiver.

Affectionate_Pilot42 · 2021-02-16T19:49:40+00:00

Currently trying to leave a guy 20+ years older than me for this reason among a few others..

PasDeTout · 2021-02-16T18:08:49+00:00

Ageing does not cause bad breath.

FastCardiologist6128 · 2021-02-17T14:45:52+00:00

If the roles were inverted, she would have been dumped years ago smh

spinsterchachkies · 2021-02-16T17:28:41+00:00

My dad is 60 and looks great... it’s not age

ferociouslycurious · 2021-02-17T05:11:44+00:00

When I found this thread the words on the picture didn’t show up, it was a blank screen. I thought that was a commentary on lack of a life 😂. Umm his breath shouldn’t be bad, that’s not aging, that’s poor dental care 🤢.

N2Gen · 2021-02-17T06:14:33+00:00

Gross

MisandryFTW · 2021-02-17T06:01:04+00:00

Age gap relationships are toxic. I got stuck in one when I was underage and he was 30. Shortly after I became an adult he was no longer attracted to me and kept being creepy at underage girls. So glad I left. Recently he said he wanted to adopt a little girl. I'm keeping tabs and plan on contacting child protective services if he makes any progress.

Another thing I've noticed is I grew and matured as a person but he did not. He then kept accusing me of hiding my true self and felt betrayed, but in reality I was just becoming an adult.

Now that I'm in my 30s I work with kids and they are so gross and stupid. I have no idea why any adult would want to be in a relationship with them, even if it was ethical.

la_zarzamora · 2021-02-16T18:10:10+00:00

I was in an age gap relationship in my 20s with a wonderful guy, and it was definitely a relationship I needed at the time, but both of us knew it would have to end eventually. He specifically told me he didn't want me to waste my life taking care of him when he got too old. We are still good friends today. But getting married to him would have been an awful mistake.

saggy_lemons1 · 2021-02-16T17:44:27+00:00

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Wawald · 2021-02-16T17:17:16+00:00

Take a shower with him, make it fun , put a back washer in the shower , show him how to use it, load up both your toothbrushes, tell him it saves time to brush in the shower.....tell him nothing turns you on more than a freshly washed man with freshly brushed teeth. It's worth a try.....

Title	Your Future in an Age Gap Relationship
Author	EarthKveik
Upvotes	883
Comments	117
Date	February 16, 2021 3:52 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ll6oyx/your_future_in_an_age_gap_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/your-future-in-an-age-gap-relationship.1192385 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192385

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