I don’t even know how to react to this

RyanLedford90 · 2021-09-03T04:59:51+00:00

That whole comment history was toxic as fuck. I went through the post history of the person you highlighted in your comment. What a hateful, pitiful, and spiteful person.

Like I get being angry and upset I get that way too but their whole post history is just fucking awful. I honestly hope they're a troll because if they're not I don't think I've ever felt more sorry for an anonymous stranger on the internet.

thathighclassbitch · 2021-09-03T07:37:34+00:00

This has always been an issue for me on reddit. Its the same story. Wife chooses to be a stay at home wife, gets upset husband has to compensate and often work up to 80 hours a week because of her choice, husband is called an asshole for not doing all the childcare once he gets home to 'give her a break, husband is called an asshole for working so much, etc.

But no one asks when he gets his break? They say childcare is a full job, but also the husband should take care of the kids once he gets home, effectively giving him a 24/7 job as well. I understand if both parties have to contribute as much when they're both home, but often its "give her a break". As if he didn't just work a 12 hour shift that day.

biff64gc · 2021-09-03T11:20:18+00:00

Feminists: Men just need to talk about how they are truly feeling inside.

Man talks about his true feelings

Feminist: WTF is wrong with you? Are you just trying to play the victim you little pussy? You think you're the only one that has it tough? Grow up and be a man!

Man slips closer to suicide.

stayclassycunts · 2021-09-03T10:37:07+00:00

I feel so sad reading this. I hate that a lot of people live like this.

Sertorian · 2021-09-03T12:40:10+00:00

Quick, someone copy this word for word but replace “father” with “mother”, “husband” with “wife”. You’ll get the complete opposite reaction in the comments, shitloads of karma, and the satisfaction of know that those idiots got played because they blindly adhere to ideals they don’t understand.

thunderstorm-nigg · 2021-09-03T12:19:44+00:00

My uncle just git his first child and he has the same fucking story, her wife is stay at home and literally does nothing at home ( they have maid for cleaning house and doing dishes) all she has to do is take care of the child (2y/o) and make food for 2 adult (uncle and aunt) and one child but she can't even do that the moment my uncle leaves for the office she calls the maid and make her do stuff while she sits and watch TV and give her phone to child for WHOLE FUCKING DAY. And then take the phone away as soon as the father (mu uncle) comes home and says it's now your job to play with child he takes care of the child till the night. While already being tired as fuck and just sleeps there till the morning and repeat this shit every day

Still some of the family members says uncle is neglecting his child and wife .

Ecstatic-Flounder-48 · 2021-09-03T04:44:38+00:00

So I suggested that OP slowly make himself scarce and busy and by extension do a bit less chores so that hopefully his family appreciates him more when they have to find a way to pick up that slack. As a temporary thing.

Sure it’s not the best solution. But he stated he couldn’t express himself. I thought it’d be the best way to show his effort if someone else had to walk a mile in his shoes. That comment was the response I got.

icusu · 2021-09-03T13:17:23+00:00

Nevermind that prior to the 70s, a single parent could work while the other could stay home and still have more than enough to support a family. Wages have been stagnant since. I'm a dude, I love kids. I'd stay home with mine and everyone in my home would be happy. Unfortunately inflation has been outpacing wage growth consistently since the 1970s.

Lacks_Sense_Of_Humor · 2021-09-03T12:46:17+00:00

Looks like the person deleted their comment.

Here it is.

Powerful_Software_14 · 2021-09-03T06:56:52+00:00

I don't know enough of his circumstance to give a good answer. Here are a bunch of ideas I can think off.

If the wife can have some personal time, ask for some himself. Go fishing or even just drive around. Just don't stay at home.
If his wife don't have or can't agree to first, just apply a day off work. Leave home at usual time and go home as per usual. Whatever happened in between is up to him.
If all else fail, be a workaholic. Home is just a place to sleep. If she complained, ask whether she mind the husband earning less.

tacobellbandit · 2021-09-03T11:33:35+00:00

My friend had that issue with his girlfriend. She was stay at home out of choice and he worked 12hr days everyday, he’d come home and she’d immediately give him the kid and tell him “I need a break” before he could even get dinner or anything. Then some nights she’d go “work” at a local community club where she was bar tending. (Not saying bar tender isn’t a legit job just saying being a bartender where she was was pretty much just grabbing cans out of a cooler) so that she could just pretty much hang out with her friends but he never could hang out with anyone because every weekend he was either working or taking care of the kid while she went out and did stuff. Like yeah the dudes sitting here pulling 12+ he shifts all except for Sunday, only to get home to zero downtime then being told he’s the bad guy because he’s not affectionate enough is bullshit.

DanteLivra · 2021-09-03T14:00:43+00:00

A classic example of how we expect men to handle whatever we throw at them. We see them as tools that are useful. Whenever they show emotions, whenever they want to be happy we shame them and we say they are a failure.

Society doesn't have any empathy for men. Yet whenever a woman complain about work, emotions, relationships, kids, she gets showered in affection and support and she gets told that whatever she did, it ain't her fault.

This is for you kings, don't spend your life with someone who will make you regret it. You don't have to buy into that dream. And for the love of god if you have to settle with a woman, find one who makes her own money, find a woman who is capable of being accountable for her actions, so that burden isn't always on you.

No, edgy green shirt, men don't have reproductive rights, he didn't have the time to say no, he just had to man up and deal with it, this is the consequences.

Ixz72 · 2021-09-03T13:13:10+00:00

My girlfriend's daughter said the exact same thing the man said, and she is now at our house in Florida to decompress. It is amazing how sympathetic people are to women when they say they are tired. In the mean time her husband is at home taking care of their kids while working 55 hours/ week.

Their kids are picked up from the bus by his parents and keep them until he gets off work. He gets home, feeds the kids, clean them up and puts them to bed. In the morning he wakes them up, feeds them breakfast, and gets them to school as he begins his 10-11 hour work day, so that his wife can "decompress".

ignatztempotypo · 2021-09-03T05:28:59+00:00

Just know that that attitude is deep inside many many women. Act accordingly.

NorthHelicopter- · 2021-09-03T06:43:50+00:00

They just love to twist the story to suit their own benefit. dude just wanted a short rest

Diomil · 2021-09-03T14:23:50+00:00

what a small person that commenter is.

NumerousImprovements · 2021-09-03T11:39:48+00:00

Unfortunately these people exist in life. It’s important not to let their views affect us. Men like this exist with similar views of women. There are just some shitty people in life. Hope OP is doing well, as I do the rest of you kings.

sicrm · 2021-09-03T12:42:47+00:00

so many husbands haven’t heard thank you or I appreciate you in years if ever.

SolarEngine89 · 2021-09-03T12:48:58+00:00

Damn, that's sad. Nice, that real world people aren't those who comment on reddit much.

jkcadmium · 2021-09-03T13:23:59+00:00

The world shits out people like this all the time. They gravitate towards free media where they can be toxic and express themselves in a cathartic manner while gaining weight and inching closer to death. Reddit is effectively a giant echo chamber for losers.

ACE-JHN · 2021-09-03T16:00:42+00:00

Ah yes even more fuel for me to not get married and not have kids.

Peace doesn’t have a price tag. Id rather work 40 hours a week at some boring job and just spend WAYYY less than be some married guy who is looked at as an ATM with a pulse.

To the married gents out there, my condolences. To the single gents, stay single and if you ever have any thoughts of getting married come back to this sub and read the posts.

PurpleAriadne · 2021-09-03T22:54:38+00:00

Balancing your life is the hardest part, please figure out what you need to do to recharge yourself. Make sure your partner and your children have that time too. It can be 15 min a day, maybe a regular evening, whatever works for your schedule. Your kids need to learn this too. Maybe as a family you can meditate daily and go for a walk where you don’t talk. It doesn’t have to be big but it has to be something regular.

Thank you for being a father who is emotionally aware enough to recognize your needs and figure out a way to deal with them. My father dealt with it by drinking and leaving when it got too hard.

NotBaron · 2021-09-03T15:24:08+00:00

Man if I can relate to this. My son is 9 months old, he turns 10 in a couple days, and I love him like I've never loved in my life, but I'm not going to lie, I have to provide for him, for his mother, and keep cool at job, act like all is alright, then go out of work and help the mother cause she is tired of being with the kid all day. All this while our relationship is crumbling cause I'm deteriorated and still "not doing enough". I love my son, and I want to be alright with my woman, but I can't with everything when I'm expected to do more while I can hardly handle what I have in my hands right now.

And I love the comment, that argument is pure gold "the new male mindset" and "playing victim', when it's about a male it's "their fair share" but if you use that same arguments referring to women, it is toxic, misogynistic, patriarchal and shit like that.

Some people are just a waste of oxygen, for real

Divine-Nemesis · 2021-09-03T12:18:22+00:00

This is a perfect example of why I’m single and childless at 42, Intentionally, and plan to ride this wave till I can escape this prison of flesh. I feel so bad for this guy, and all of the other tens-hundreds of thousands of men in the same position. With this crazy rise in modern day feminism, I am personally seeing a rise and what is actually becoming a movement of masculinity (MGTOW not officially but an example) to push back against the Nazi feminism. Feminist can call men incels and bash them all they want but when their plumbing, AC/heat, electricity, house repairs/maintenance, or any other physical labor needs go out, I would like to see the list of women only in these fields who will come do the repairs. This whole men and women are equal is bullshit! The roles in which men and women play are equally important in life, neither one better than the other.

jtree77720 · 2021-09-03T12:53:37+00:00

u/nameless_user0

reddituniqueuser19 · 2021-09-03T19:54:58+00:00

This is awful. Makes me appreciate my religion honestly. But yeah, people need to respect each other’s efforts; women AND men equally. I should appreciate what my husband would be doing additionally for me as he would appreciate what I do. And in this guy’s case, if he’s working and she’s staying at home. They both have jobs. Yes, he should help around but it should be appreciated and both are entitled to some time for themselves. It’s just healthy for both. I don’t understand people like this. Of course this specific example to me is more when you consider gender roles (which I tend to believe in-the healthy ones). No offense to anyone who doesn’t. What I don’t understand is when people who don’t believe in gender roles expect , for example with this guy, for him to be fulfilling his associated role but also to be expected, shamed and under appreciated if he’s not taking on/excelling at all other roles. It’s hypocrisy. I believe in women’s rights. Definitely. But I think it’s gotten confused and muddled with double standards that are unfair at times not only to men but also just detrimental to the understanding of just being a female and the beauty in our biology and psychology. I know what I’ve said is gonna be controversial so apologies to those I’ve offended, it’s just my opinion!

Blue-floyd77 · 2021-09-03T21:46:55+00:00

As Roger Waters put in the Song: The Trial (The Wall album)

“Feelings, showing feelings of an almost human nature….this will not do”.

Mercy9989 · 2021-09-04T05:03:12+00:00

What authority do men have nowadays it seems like every little thing we say it's a problem or that everything we do if infringing on women's rights or trying to take them away I have yet to see any man do anything authoritative nowadays

theOverword · 2021-09-05T08:10:30+00:00

I guess he just read the title. What a spitefull person

shymeeee · 2021-09-03T12:54:51+00:00

Tell your wife you're going to take time for yourself regularly, to exercise, wind down, take a bath, be quiet, listen to music...... If she's offended, prepare for the worst.

KohenWizard · 2021-09-03T12:29:34+00:00

Maybe if that guy didn’t have his head up his ass, he’d realize that men can have sex with their legs closed

ckitano88 · 2021-09-03T13:08:10+00:00

If this was a woman shed have 100000000 awards and upvotes. Would be comforted and told hiw she needs mommy time etc etc

Poor dude needs a man cave and a homeboy to gf with sometimes

mchistory21st · 2021-09-04T00:58:26+00:00

No one really cares how the man feels. He's expected to fulfill unreasonable and contradictory expectations.

Work, but not too much and don't work too little but be home to help but work more but help out around the house no, you're doing it wrong get out of my way why don't you ever help me what are you doing home why aren't you at work you're never here when I need you.

You're expected to show feelings but only in a very limited way and watch "your tone" but I can yell but don't you yell but don't show your feelings too much no I didn't mean that way, you need to man up and be my rock I hear enough complaints already I've had a rough day I'm not your mother I can't handle this why won't you tell me how you feel why don't we talk more?

You're expected to talk but mostly listen no I don't want to hear about the ballgame or what you're interested in listen to me instead why don't you ever talk to me don't interrupt, I'm talking why are you so quiet why don't you ever listen to me?

I've been married twice. Both times it was exactly the same. It's exactly the same for all my friends. No one really cares how the man feels.

YesAmAThrowaway · 2021-09-03T14:50:12+00:00

I'm happy to report that the most popular comments are supportive.

Sir_Brosephmann · 2021-09-03T15:58:52+00:00

Wow. Imagine if a bread-winning mom said that and the response was “well if they weren’t ready they should have kept their legs shut…Women are malignant tumors.” Yeesh

therealnumberone · 2021-09-03T16:04:33+00:00

The biggest issue right now is that the 40 hour work week was designed around having one parent work full time and the other stay at home. When this balance is upset and both partners are expected to somehow work and take care of home chores it gets overwhelming. The 40 hour work week is a relic of the past and should be significantly reduced.

bigez526 · 2021-09-03T18:36:32+00:00

"I feel I can't ask for time to myself". That is the wifes selfishness.

1FrantikFrann1 · 2021-09-03T18:45:46+00:00

Well, it appears as though I am done listening to women complain about childbirth, cleaning, cooking, taking care of children, etc. Because those are the stereotypes that go along with being a woman, and therefore what should be expected of them, right?!?

/s

With this person’s mindset, apparently no one deserves some time for themselves, or deserves to complain about seemingly endless expectations, so they better stick with their own delusional program, and conform and stfu… lol 🤦🏻‍♂️

Asmodium27 · 2021-09-05T05:28:43+00:00

Just wait for it eventually feminist and girls who like to play games will be left with guys who will draw up breeding contracts rather then marriages the main thing I see the most vocal feminist is they see men as beasts with no control so it's hard on some of guys to trust them and the number is only growing look on tic toc at all the girls complain about not being approached by guys

Rex-the-pup · 2021-09-03T15:29:08+00:00

It's ironic how femnist demand we talk about our feelings, yet if we do they bitch and moan or try and male support groups closed down cos somehow it's "misogynistic" Modern femnism is disgusting, and a real woman wouldn't support it.

darasaat · 2021-09-03T20:10:01+00:00

The “he should’ve kept his legs shut” argument is so hilarious, especially because it’s very likely that this person is most likely pro-abortion too. I guess keeping your legs shut shouldn’t apply to women?

L3tum · 2021-09-03T19:40:01+00:00

I find it incredibly weird that telling a woman to keep her legs shut when she's pregnant is considered misogyny, yet telling a man to keep his legs shut is perfectly acceptable. I've seen multiple highly upvoted comments basically saying the same.

Reddit1984Censorship · 2021-09-03T12:46:55+00:00

I will never marry is literally ruining my life.

Mythandros · 2021-09-03T15:46:53+00:00

The response by the feminist is extremely common. Feminists are cancerous, toxic and hateful dumbasses.

C20H25N3O-C21H30O2 · 2021-09-03T20:28:12+00:00

Wow. WTF did I just read? Pure poison. You can't ask your wife for ANYTHING because then you are a male-chauvinist asshole. Express your worries and you are a cancerous tumor? MGTOW!

nosleepincrooklyn · 2021-09-03T22:03:55+00:00

I had a women telling me that a women getting married is essentially slavery and I told her to go to therepy.

She lost her damn mind.

Routine_Media_2724 · 2021-09-04T01:39:59+00:00

MGTOW IS THE ONLY SOLUTION

Flynnit · 2021-09-04T10:06:14+00:00

Everyone has to work way too much and earns way too little. This much work is killing people and doesn't make anyone more productive. Additionally women earn less than men, making stay-at-home dads sadly way less possible than stay-at-home moms. Can you afford to permanently have this arrangement? Most millenials have to have both parents working at least part-time (the mom working a few years after birth again). A permanently stay-at-home parent is not monetarily possible in many cases (even though it's one of the best solutions for the child).

After at least 2-3 years the baby is old enough so that she can give it to daycare every now and then so that you both can have a quiet day/s for yourselves respectively or together. Before than you can ask your parents or adult siblings for help when you are overwhelmed, if possible. Just don't tell them on a very short notice, and make sure you thank them.

My suggestion:

Talk it out with your wife. Don't throw accusations at her. Tell her that you've been thinking about what to do about your time and that you are scared you'll break down. I'm sure you two can find a solution.

You don't need to stay in the same job forever, which is also important to remind yourself of.

Ask your parents for help for looking after the kid every now and then (if you are in touch with them).

I am sure you are overwhelmed at the moment but I think you two wiIl find a good solution.

mr_y2kj · 2021-09-03T21:39:14+00:00

I once read a comment section on r/BlatantMisogny saying the men should always sacrifice for their family no matter what happens. I mean bitch if men and women are equal then why should the men sacrifice and not the woman??? They never wanted or want equal rights . They want privilege and none of the responsibilities. Cuddled and spoonfed. Not all females are like this, I’m truly lucky to have sane and wonderful females as my friends in life. Fuck those misandrist retards on r/BlatantMisogny

adoctorswife · 2021-09-03T18:14:54+00:00

If he is the main provider for the family, he shouldn’t be doing any chores at all. He should be able to completely relax after coming back from work.

ImplodedPotatoSalad · 2021-09-03T14:20:23+00:00

so, any relationship with a female, nothing new. She is a queen (in her own eyes) and she expects....

Rex-the-pup · 2021-09-03T15:23:47+00:00

Then maybe women should stop fucking every 5 seconds of they don't want fucking children instead if trying to blame everyone else because they want a quick rush having sex.

raymennn · 2021-09-03T15:19:14+00:00

One of many reasons to never have children. I don't think I will ever be able to sacrifice myself as much.

DustbinFunkbndr · 2021-09-03T16:26:01+00:00

As a Dad who went from full time breadwinner to equal custody (because of this situation, not having enough time and emotional availability after working every single day and all of my time not working being dedicated to helping family, my partner left), I can definitely say watching a kid for whole days at a time is hard and exhausting in its own way, but I would IMMEDIATELY switch to being a stay at home parent. Yeah, it has its challenges but has so many benefits: time with child, comfort of your own environment, you make your schedule, can do basically anything as long as you can help your kid at the same time, etc. Oh my god it’s a dream job if your situation can allow it. Stay at home moms complain wayyyyy to much about it. Again, yes it has challenges and is tiring and stressful in its own way, but doesn’t compare to the struggle of being the breadwinner and having to grind yourself into dust to support a family.

ripyourlungsdave · 2021-09-03T17:26:38+00:00

Holy shit, that is appalling. What an absolute piece of garbage.

karmaman12345 · 2021-09-03T22:01:53+00:00

Women have the same choice to not have kids, and then even more opportunity to choose not to since they can get an abortion. But the “You chose to get pregnant” thing is sexist when you use it on them.

Yo-boi-Pie · 2021-09-04T03:14:45+00:00

I’m not even a dad but I relate to the author, I’ve been actively made fun of for having a sensory overload at a loud as hell sports game, I’ve been made fun of for crying after getting punched in the gut, I have Crohn’s, it was flaring up, that and the punch hurt way to bad, honestly I’m now in the mindset “emotions are for the weak, your not weak your just a fucking coward” because I’ll avoid possible pain, I avoid everything so I can’t feel pain and thus show a negative emotion

Robbythedee · 2021-09-03T14:21:53+00:00

Let’s be real, that person would be the first guy to give his money up to the school bully but he commented on Reddit to feel manly. This guys Incel comment to you makes him feel like a real man.

JasHanz · 2021-09-03T11:19:54+00:00

I can't seem to find the entrance to the rabbit hole. Help?

ace_wulf · 2021-09-03T12:45:27+00:00

I almost downvoted this just for that comment. That’s how much it angered me

Thats-bk · 2021-09-03T14:58:54+00:00

I started feeling this way in my marriage, with no children.

I put up with it for so long. Didn't realize I was just being taken advantage of.

It's over now (on my terms) and I do not miss the neglect one bit.

HolaFromElOtterSlide · 2021-09-03T16:35:13+00:00

I thought I drunkenly made this post, sounds alot like my homelife rn.

Stay at home mom but I have to still pay $400+ after finacial aid for child care because I can't trust my kid at home with my spouse to be properly cared for without 1000 calls a day asking how to parent/adult.

jonathonlan4sbwthu2 · 2021-09-03T16:56:03+00:00

I don’t even bother reading the replies to post like these because it gets me far too pissed off.

KingJama3957 · 2021-09-03T17:01:39+00:00

I think you need to talk to your partner about this

alexbelrus · 2021-09-03T18:17:04+00:00

All this happened because people don't know how to build healthy relationships. What will happen if you start to build a home without knowing how to do it right?

AmberRabbinate · 2021-09-03T18:24:01+00:00

Well, the part of being emotionally closed is on him to be honest... If he was una good marriage he could explain things to his wife no problem

biopilot17 · 2021-09-03T21:41:35+00:00

Exactly why I don’t want a kid and won’t have one

ohParadise · 2021-09-03T23:29:29+00:00

Please drop the username of that commenter because I’m drunk and toxic and ready to set the world to rights :))

-joke don’t actually because I’ll get cancelled

Its_K_M · 2021-09-04T03:29:03+00:00

Some people don’t have a life so they troll on social media, ignore these trolls

aigars2 · 2021-09-03T08:54:51+00:00

My comment would be "You're a terrible person."

FalloutCenturion · 2021-09-03T12:16:02+00:00

"if this guy wasn't able to fo bare minimum to take care of the kid than he should have keep his legs shut". Yet I bet this person supports abortion.

beefmcstuffin · 2021-09-03T10:08:56+00:00

Male on male violence

stayclassycunts · 2021-09-03T09:15:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

StalemateMaster64 · 2021-09-03T15:09:00+00:00

Well, this is complicated, assuming he is not a troll, he is suffering from depression, well that's obvious but the depression is not due to his family or responsibilities due to family.

I am sure he is depressed due to something other than his family maybe work, office politics or generally depression or dissatisfaction in some other area in life which spills into something as simple as family.

Family is supposed to give you a reason to fight the external world, he is trying to hide from the external world because it's going too much terrible for him outside which is spilling in his perception of family.

Or I might be wrong, because he didn't comment on his wife or marriage I assume there is nothing wrong like affair or lack of sex or intamacy between them.

Whatever it is it's not the full story.

I am not sure what this post is doing in r/mensrights.

Doc_Steelhammer · 2021-09-03T12:28:41+00:00

Poor guy,life is hard.

aborders79 · 2021-09-03T13:33:33+00:00

Felt this one in my soul

MGTOWManofMystery · 2021-09-03T16:25:07+00:00

Men are human doings. Worker bees, if you will.

Living-Reference5329 · 2021-09-03T17:01:45+00:00

Judging by the person who replied reply. There a cunt. Source, :I can read

DrainageSpanial · 2021-09-03T19:10:31+00:00

I don't like it. Ok, fathers do a lot for their families and that can be difficult and takes a lot out of them. probably more than most family members. There's nothing wrong with that.

The problem normally is others take fathers for granted and they are underappreciated.

The solution to that is to thank fathers, appreciate alll they do, and make them feel loved.

The solution isn't that fathers shouldn't have to work hard and do things for their families.

It sounds to me like this guy's problem is he doesn't like his job. Maybe he just needs a job he likes.

If he can't get a good job he needs his wife and kids to love and respect him more. Family therapy of some kind might help.

But I don't see how this is a MRM topic, like cases of men put in jail without proper due process or unreasonable discrimination in hiring or whatever.

ThosPuddleOfDoom · 2021-09-03T22:12:08+00:00

The issue is this comes down to who you marry. Some people are more than happy to talk about feelings and emotions and sometimes without trying to open dialogue about these things with your s/o it would be impossible to tell if they would just shut down your thoughts / feelings.

This isn't true 100% of the time but a lot of the time it just comes down to who you are married to and what you expect from each other going into the marriage. Of course this does change over time with the introduction of children and other life changing events but there should always be space in a caring relationship for open talks about life and mental health for both parties.

CrappyWaiter · 2021-09-04T02:40:01+00:00

Imagine telling women to keep their legs shut when talking about unwanted children

Title	I don’t even know how to react to this
Author	Ecstatic-Flounder-48
Upvotes	1752
Comments	298
Date	September 3, 2021 4:42 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/pgy7qe/i_dont_even_know_how_to_react_to_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-dont-even-know-how-to-react-to-this.1067170 https://theredarchive.com/post/1067170

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