Dating is random/messy and cannot be predicted by either Red or Blue pill approaches

TheBroke1234 · 2026-03-12T07:29:28+00:00

have noticed people are way too extreme about this. They either want dating to be a super rigid thing where you can pick up a dating textbook like its a math textbook at home and study it for a year and come out and know how to date. Thats of course, ridiculous.

But on the other hand, there's another group of people who want it to be a voodoo completely mystical magical uncontrollable thing, like a religion, where you have to hope mana from god comes down and blesses you with "timing luck and emotion."

Both views are wrong. Dating is like an art, not a science. But that doesn't mean you can't bring some reason and order to art. You practice enough and get experience and go to art class every week and talk to other artists and copy other artists, you can get really good without getting blessed by timing luck and emotions. And yeah, those will still come into play, and some people will just have that magic artistic touch. But everyone can take certain actions and apply certain (loose) principles to make themselves better. And especially experience is hugely valuable.

SoybeanCola1933 · 2026-03-12T03:22:58+00:00

Happy to be corrected but my main view is that dating and relationship formation is a random and subjective process which cannot be neatly placed in any pill.

Visit downtown on a weekend evening and observe the various couples, many of whom appear mismatched in a variety of ways.

There is no logical rule to dating and forming a relationship - it is random and messy, hence why Redpill and Bluepill folks will always be at odds.

Sure, there may be some traits which may increase your likelihood of finding a good match, but reducing it to a series of rules is futile.

wolf2424b · 2026-03-12T08:38:48+00:00

Red and Blue pill treat dating like a linear game which can be 'won' by following a few rules.

Reality is it's random, messy and misaligned with any consistent logic.

You could say the same thing about everything in life which is dependent on human interaction.

For example, getting ahead at work is random and messy. And yet you can greatly improve your odds by following rules such as being on time; delivering what you promise; and so on. Even if you do that, the company might go bankrupt and you lose your job.

So too with dating. You can greatly improve your odds if you approach it in the right way.

lookhooturnt · 2026-03-12T03:31:24+00:00

Every person is different obviously but after you’ve been through it for a while and have met so many different people, you do start to notice patterns

MarioWilson122 · 2026-03-12T06:43:28+00:00

I disagree RP just tells men what the landscape is like so it assists men in a way that’s more like a guide instead of instructions. So, they can choose to use their own methods they learn from it to gain success in dating. So, it’s definitely not about following any particular rules to get it done.

No-Cheesecake9544 · 2026-03-12T05:00:56+00:00

It's not random/messy there is a pattern to it all, and you can statistically observe that. HOWEVER, the average person is a statistical abstraction, not a real person. You can't usefully apply generalizations to individual lived experiences.

brazenbull09 · 2026-03-12T05:59:37+00:00

Patterns still do exist.

Certain archetypes of people are at least a little guaranteed to behave a certain way.

growframe · 2026-03-12T09:17:27+00:00

You think hot, fun and exciting people are just as likely to suceed as ugly, lame and boring people? That over enough trials, these two archetypes would result in 1:1 dating lives?

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-03-12T03:51:54+00:00

Everyone is different and dating is random yet dating app algorithms are good at determining what profiles have higher chances of matching.

These-Purpose-7019 · 2026-03-12T08:38:29+00:00

There is randomness to it but patterns can be seen. There are exceptions to the rule but theres a pattern where you can generally see the type of man who gets women effortlessly and the type of man who gets the short end of the stick.

Its funny when people claim its random but somehow its not random enough to include those who are shit out of luck in dating.

YeaNobody · 2026-03-12T03:48:25+00:00

Sadly it seems much less random then you're suggesting....looks get people in the door. Guarantees nothing about having a successful/healthy relationship, but it does get people in the door versus not having looks.

AreOut · 2026-03-12T16:59:35+00:00

TRP says the success is not guaranteed, you can just improve your chances by becoming a better prospect. I am now way more successful than I was before, but it didn't have to turn out like that.

Muscletov · 2026-03-12T17:52:22+00:00

Sure, random chance is a factor, but overall it's pretty clear which traits and behaviors are conducive to sexual/romantic success and which are not. At the end, it's a matter of probability.

KayRay1994 · 2026-03-12T03:41:40+00:00

A lot of people would be happier if they embraced the randomness of it

pie-mart · 2026-03-12T13:34:05+00:00

A lot of people treat dating like its a game where all individuals lose their individuality. People treat people as an ocean versus the drops of water that make the ocean. So, when the tides on one side flood, we are surprised the other side of an ocean is fine

Independent-Mail-227 · 2026-03-12T11:01:56+00:00

Red and Blue pill treat dating like a linear game which can be 'won' by following a few rules.

Dating is linear and will be won by following rules.

Reality is it's random, messy and misaligned with any consistent logic.

This is symptom of a narrow mind unable to see the greater picture

Even the published social research that reviews relationship formation are subjective, suffer from samples biases, and often give mixed findings as opposed to objective reviews.

Bad methods do not means impossibility.

No pill is correct, there are no rules, and dating is largely based on timing, luck, and emotion.

It's not, there's clear patterns of success above timing luck or wathever bullshit you think emotion is.

asb3s7 · 2026-03-12T03:25:11+00:00

Nothing in any situation is random. Random = you cannot figure it out.

And because random means you can’t figure it out, YOU saying it’s random means YOU cannot figure it out OP. just because you are unable to solve a problem mean other people can’t solve it either. Or that it is unsolvable.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-03-12T06:37:16+00:00

There is no blue pill, blue pill is everyone who isn't red. You are blue, your opinion is part of the blue. I'm blue, my opinion is part of it. There is no set "blue pill advice".

To your point. I agree that luck, emotions and timing is important. I disagree that there are no "rules". What I mean is that there are some patterns that you can use, recognize etc. There are some behaviors that create certain emotions more likely than not. There are things that make you more attractive to many people. And so on. Like it's okay to say that if you're 30yo man who sits on their parents couch without job and didn't socialize then no woman will want to date you. Maybe there are some exceptions, but it's basically a rule.

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DGenerationMC · 2026-03-12T04:39:24+00:00

It's like playing the lottery.

Everybody got their tickets, right? If you don't have something to scratch them off with then may God have mercy on your soul.

Axis_Control · 2026-03-12T15:08:57+00:00

Dating can be outright dangerous. Don't give the man your number or house address until after you dated him for a while.

Punch_Drunk_AA · 2026-03-12T19:23:02+00:00

So trying to quantify something that is dynamic and subjective is an exercise in futility?

Go figure.

I never understood why folks are so obsessed over the numbers. People buy lottery tickets every day knowing damn well their chances of winning are practically impossible.

So what if 60-70% marriages end in divorce, that doesn't mean your's will. Probably 9 out of 10 girls I approached when I was single and looking turned me down. I still found one, and got married, and we're still married 10 years later. We met through pure chance and built our relationship together. No algorithm pre-determined our compatibility.

Am I special or unique in some way? Nope, there's 100s of millions of couples just like my wife and I.

HenryJones387 · 2026-03-14T05:16:19+00:00

Well Rp doeant really try to, since Rp is more about helping men understand dating better

CelicnisGhost · 2026-03-14T09:35:06+00:00

It's messy and random to certain extent for most people... yet we can plainly see that certain patterns hold true for most women.

Nobody ever claimed TRP to be 100% effective in 100% of the cases, but it's like 95% effective in 95% of the cases.

If raising your odds from 1 in 50 to 1 in 5 isn't winning the game I don't know what is.

Substantial-Fly4895 · 2026-03-15T06:18:16+00:00

My opinion OP:

You need the willingness to build skill as well as the ability to shrug off bad RNG and not feel too bad about yourself. Both are needed. If dating is completely unpredictable then all you get is the cope part and not the skill part.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-03-12T05:06:26+00:00

The blue pill does, that’s why generalities and platitudes exist, and why unsuccessful people hate it

thediablowizard · 2026-03-12T14:33:10+00:00

yes it can be predicted.

when you as a male go from 0 interaction with women for years, to women flooding your inbox, it def is predictable and controllable. that was my experience.

80:20 rule is facts. went from the 80 to the 20 and it was like 'ok i get it now'.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-03-12T06:31:13+00:00

I disagree RP just tells a man what the landscape is like and how to best get results. They can of course use their own methods to gain success in dating. So, its definitely not about following any particular rules to get it done.

Null_82 · 2026-03-12T12:50:34+00:00

You're conflating minor uncertaincies and variations with complete incoherence.

nr_guidelines · 2026-03-12T05:02:03+00:00

Anyone loses if they marry a woman with 10+ bodycount and are also bad at sex

xxVelasco · 2026-03-12T03:59:01+00:00

Blue pill has never treated dating like a linear game because it's not a thing. It's just a term used to describe normal people (non-redpills)

love_in_october · 2026-03-12T07:06:33+00:00

Blue pill just means you disagree with the red pill (so most people are blue pill). By the sound of it you are also blue pill. There is no "blue pill approach" for predicting dating.

Jiburonotsu · 2026-03-12T05:02:10+00:00

Which is why only an idiot would spend any time engaging with the opposite sex unless they're blessed to already be what the opposite sex wants appearance & personality wise.

Audi_fanboy · 2026-03-12T11:30:02+00:00

Yep. This whole dating thing is messy as hell. If you have the basics sorted, it's just luck and chaotic after.

esdebah · 2026-03-12T15:25:00+00:00

this is, in fact the blue pill approach. engage people as individuals and situations as unique.

Outrageous-Floor-424 · 2026-03-13T20:11:28+00:00

Quantum mechanics are far more messy and can be predicted by statistical models.

Messiness disappears in large numbers, just as a feature of large numbers

Lift_and_Lurk · 2026-03-12T13:03:46+00:00

Yes, life is way more nuanced and chaotic than “two (or three) little boxes that everything fits in.

All pill are dumb.

Title	Dating is random/messy and cannot be predicted by either Red or Blue pill approaches
Author	SoybeanCola1933
Upvotes	44
Comments	158
Date	March 12, 2026 3:21 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1rrfpr0/dating_is_randommessy_and_cannot_be_predicted_by/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-is-randommessy-and-cannot-be-predicted-by.1575292 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575292

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