Evolutionary Psychology

The answer to the question of why men and women have the preferences they generally have has, to me, always been pretty simple, but many women I’ve discussed it with have disagreed strongly and even seemed offended by the concept.

Broadly, preferences can be explained through evolutionary psychology. If we start with an understanding that, ultimately, our goal in selecting a mate is to produce the most viable offspring, all of the things that don’t seem “right” or “fair” just come down to natural selection.

For example:

The “double standard” of men being lauded for having many sexual partners and women being shamed stems from the biological reality that a man can produce many, many more offspring than women. From an evolutionary standpoint it’s a numbers game. The more sexually attractive a male, the more offspring, and the better odds of preserving traits favorable to evolution. In short, it’s quantity over quality.

Women, on the other hand, can have a single offspring (unless multiples) in a year, and have a set number of eggs, so women tend to long term relationships with men who are good providers and will stick around to help ensure the survival and therefor reproductive viability of the offspring.

That reality explains all sexual preferences. Men favor youth in women because the younger the woman, the more opportunities for producing offspring and the greater probability of their being healthy.

Large breasts = nourishment for the offspring. Strength in men = ability to protect said offspring. The tendency to reject homosexuality is also related. Homosexual activity can’t produce offspring.

Every typical preference in mate selection can be explained this way, and adhering to these preferences doesn’t make people bad or wrong. It makes them human. Is it fair? Maybe not to the people who feel like they end up on the losing side for whatever reason. Bit none of us live forever, and the closest we get is producing offspring.

Now for the disclaimer: these things are generally true. There are many, many deviations on an individual basis. I like smaller breasts, some women don’t like muscular guys, some people don’t want kids, and some people are gay. Those things are also not bad or wrong, but there’s a simple evolutionary explanation as to why there is a clear norm in terms of sexual preferences.

EDIT: thank you to those who have pointed out to me that there is no association between breast size and milk production. I was wrong in that regard, although I do believe that breast size is an indicator of sexual maturity.