Guys Don't Get It

TheonuclearPyrophyte · 2020-06-22T04:55:19+00:00

As a woman, this makes zero sense to me. I feel like I misread something. Wouldn't you rather limit sex with the stranger to only certain acts? Or like....no sex? Because they're a stranger?

loke2dabrain · 2020-06-22T04:01:02+00:00

It's like having an ex chick that you took out all the time, bought a bunch of expensive gifts for and treated like a queen. Then you got with your new gf and only take her to mc donalds and chill with her in your house.

Then you tell your current chick the reason you don't take her nowhere or treat her as good as your ex is cause you love your current gf more. lol

Awkward-Office · 2020-06-22T04:36:56+00:00

I’m a woman and I don’t get it either? The only person I would ever be wild and crazy in bed with is someone I love. I don’t even feel sexual unless I’m really into someone.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-06-22T04:22:18+00:00

Men want a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets.

reluctantly_red · 2020-06-22T04:03:31+00:00

It’s just gaslighting and malicious blue pilling to serve women’s imperatives.

As said by u.MerryVegetableGarden:

“They will use language, argument, and rhetoric that would ensure that they get the best deal for themselves even at the expense of men. The trick is to look through their bullshit. She’d have you believe that you’re on the winning end of the arrangement when she puts out easily for other guys while making you invest time, money, and intimacy for the same thing but with less enthusiasm. And for what? The addition boon of the “pleasure“ of her company?

The reason why she’s not with them is because they fucked and dipped. And now that she’s older, you’re investing more for less. If she were attracted to you like she were the others, then she wouldn’t withhold sex. And the fact that she’s used to better and feels that she deserves better is while you’ll end up in a db and she’ll probably cheat.

And she’ll frame this in such a way that the former half is actually good for you and that the latter half won’t happen. Because promiscuous women tend to prioritize self-interest over all else.”

Edit: you can even see the women in this very thread doing it. Consider what they all commented through the lens of what I wrote above.

PK_Claus01 · 2020-06-22T04:09:03+00:00

It’s understandable in a sense that it has nothing to do with “love”. They guy who she “loves” just doesn’t evoke that primal sexual emotion out of her. I feel men value their partners sexuality heavily and women value their partners utility heavily and we project what we value onto our partners. Which is why a man not getting sex another man got bothers him just like a woman not getting resources another woman got or having to share resources bother her

DangZagnut · 2020-06-22T03:49:30+00:00

Now that is one well trained hamster.

Oh guys get it cupcake, we know why you do it, and it isn't about "love".

You do fun stuff with men you want to do fun stuff with. You get off on doing something naughty or forbidden or in a hole that isn't for that purpose.

When you "luv" a guy and restrict yourself to starfish missionary, what you're doing is the bare minimum for what? What is it? Oh right. That sweet sweet money. You'd rather not have sex with him at all, but then you'd have to like, pay rent or have a job or something. Much better to do the bare minimum. He won't leave because you chose a weak sauce simp for a reason.

Guys understand completely why you're a complete back door whore with everyone else, but Ms. Prude, my body, my rules with her "true love" won't do it with beta $$$.

And I agree. I'm the same way. When I "luuuuvvvv" a girl, I don't spend a dime on her. Party sluts? First class to Europe for a month. But you? But you. You get the leftover money. You know. A happy meal. Some McNuggets. Maybe spaghetti thursday with hotdogs and ketchup sauce.

You're cool right? You girls will never accept the idea that I'll pay for a girl's student loans today, but not yours tomorrow, because I love you more.

mrcs84usn · 2020-06-22T04:13:28+00:00

Rollo's "Saving The Best," should be required reading for any RP aware man. Vanilla sex =/= I love him

geyejoe7 · 2020-06-22T06:24:44+00:00

It doesn't make sense..?

Why would a woman have anal, oral, no protection, and do weird positions with a complete stranger, rather than a person you know, love and trust?

taapy234 · 2020-06-22T04:59:33+00:00

Why do you buy a cow when you can get the milk for free?

If the "fuckboy" or the "loser" or the "asshole" got sex from you the day you meet, then why the fuck does your "husband material" beta have to put up with your bullshit for years at a time, or put up with your "i am not in mood for sex" bullshit or the "lets take things slow" bullshit or cater to your whims everyday, or commit to you at all?

Why do women act two faced with different men they meet?

Why should I give my best to you when you don't even bother to give your best?

If I can't satiate my deepest darkest fantasies (consensual of course) with a COMMITTED partner, then what possible reason should I have to commit to your used up ass?

Because the more I hear "regular" women talk about their dual mating strategy, the more I start to respect hookers. Because atleast hookers are honest about their intentions and put their life at risk to make a living.

alt-rightplaybook · 2020-06-22T03:59:36+00:00

Guys don't get things that don't make logical sense. That's like if I asked you why you don't get that 2+2=5

decoy88 · 2020-06-22T06:08:24+00:00

I can think of possible reasons for this.

the ‘fun’ sexual acts were never really fun or enjoyable for her. Now she’s in a place where she is more comfortable to only do the sex acts she enjoys as opposed to suffering for another man’s pleasure
due to the other guy’s size, body shape or skill, those particular sex acts or positions were more pleasurable with that person than her current bf
they mentally apply a “moral hierarchy” to sexual acts. Seeing certain things as inherently deviant and less respectable than others. (Ex. anal is not honourable to engage in, therefore it’s disrespectful to do this with your husband)

2020-06-22T08:18:33+00:00

If you love the person more, shouldn't you be more open with him that the stranger?

If you're more comfortable being vulnerable with a stranger than a loved one, I'd be quite worried for you, I'm not sure your self-preservation instinct works because being vulnerable with a stranger is a nice way to find yourself mugged and killed.

Physiologist21 · 2020-06-22T03:56:48+00:00

Correct, because men smell bullshit from a mile away.

OXOzymandias · 2020-06-22T03:51:21+00:00

Guys don't get the idea of having wild impromptu sex with strangers but limiting sex with people you love to only certain acts.

Yeah i def dont understand lol

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-06-22T11:32:56+00:00

Removed for low effort.

dylang92 · 2020-06-22T04:39:43+00:00

And women wonder why they want to be the casual sex guy over the LTR guy.

Appomattoxx · 2020-06-22T06:33:16+00:00

It isn't about love. It is about maintaining control of someone who can provide utility and security for a long period of time or forever.

In RP terms it is Alpha Fucks Beta Bux.

FatmanSlim93 · 2020-06-22T04:01:09+00:00

Yeah cause it’s complete crap and women will never understand. It’s like how men won’t get women who are disgusted by men who are bisexual. Bisexuals gross women out and chicks who do this gross us out. Easy enough to understand.

pooppeebuttmcnuggets · 2020-06-22T04:20:36+00:00

It's 100% true my wife reminds me of this every week and tells me how much she loves me. Just last week when I was helping my wifes son with his homework she came home and surprised me with a star wars Lego action set something I've been dying to buy for months but hadn't been given permission yet. You just need some faith in woman

retal1ator · 2020-06-22T07:29:36+00:00

She's partially right, guys don't get it. What they don't fully grasp is how these women can be manipulative.

NarniaFox · 2020-06-22T04:47:40+00:00

I can only theorize here, but my guess is that there are different reasons for this kind of behavior:

- The idea that sex is dirty is still alive and well and there are quite a lot of guys who think that women loses her "purity" by having sex. No wonder there are women who try to play prudes, they just don't want their boyfriends/spouses think of them less.

- Also, some women do believe in it themselves. They're ashamed of their past, maybe they weren't treated right and they link it to sexual activities they have, so they don't want to risk repeating it.

- Some women really don't like the experience and just don't want to repeat it. They might have done in an attempt to cope with something, they might have has serious problems with body image or self-esteem, believed that they deserved only bad treating etc. But they've got better and now they don't want these things.

Kenji_03 · 2020-06-22T07:03:33+00:00

most guys are incapable of believing it.

I love how many people assume they can speak for most members of a group because they are in said group.

The person quoted sounds like a bitter ex

isweartoofuckingmuch · 2020-06-22T07:43:48+00:00

Lmoa what a stupid fucking post. Everyone gets it, it just feels disheartening when guys find out that their sweety is just another tired slut that’s not worth any effort. We all get it

GrandmaManson · 2020-06-22T09:06:03+00:00

Maybe I’m misunderstanding exactly what you’re trying to say here, but I’ve had the opposite experience. Males seems to get more gentle once they fall in love. They seem to be the ones being too gentle when they have feelings and rougher when they’ve only just met you. They understand probably better than the female population, because they’re more likely to think/feel that way than females. It’s the women who beg their SO for rough sex whilst the men tell us it’s because they love us that they’re being gentle.

arcticshqip · 2020-06-22T09:07:56+00:00

I'm woman and I can't understand how one could have wilder sex outside a committed, loving relationship than in one. Seems illogical.

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2020-06-22T05:27:28+00:00

I understand the girl's point of view, specially were do come from those girls that tried some hardcore sexual shit and didn't enjoyed it all, male sexual nature can be really wild and agressive sometimes.

This is one of the many reassons I don't date women with a large sexual past or a high number of former lovers/relationships. I've found that when it comes to emotions and sexuality, the more partners a woman had the higher the chances she's broken beyond repair.

But another intresting aspect of it is that sex seems to be for most men like a way of meassuring your status, like social validation to women. Men know the type of sex you are getting kind of relate to your value as a sexual partner.

This is important: guys think there is an overlap between the kinky mindblowing porn-kamasutra-like sex and the sex good looking and atractive men get and wether women like to admit it or not, I think their are quite right.

I'll tell you my experience.

I'm a very atractive man, and I've always been. In my late teens-early twenties I could have dated pretty much any woman I wanted, and most of the time I did it, but for some reasson I had developed a serious fetish about some kind of extreme sexual kink that most women were less than eager to perform for me...

So what I did was to hook up down on what you call "SMV". My sexual humm "urges" for that kink were so strong that I started to trade looks for willingnes to indulge in that fantasy.

In short, I started to hook up with average (and sometimes below average) looking girls instead of going for the more aesthetically (but less sexually) pleasing women.

Yes, I did use an imbalance of power to my own favour, not proud of it and I regret it now, but my point is that first and foremost, women DO more for men they percieve as "above" them, even if they don't like it.

But also, this kind of power imbalance at play in sexual dinamic can be very damaging to women.

Some women put themselves through a lot of shit to just try pleasing some guys, and that's why I say I understand what girls are saying.

It's always a lose-lose situation: guy A will get what he wants even if he has to put a girl in both a mentally and sexually terrible position (no pun intended), then he will left the girl, making even more emotional damage and making her feeling "used", and then comes the guy B wanting the same experiences the guy A had, and feeling he's in second place becouse he doesn't have any.

Well, nobody talks about this becouse it's a very hard strike to the ego and also nobody wants to sound weird and twisted...

But it is what it is people. This is what men feel, "sense" if you like to put it that way, when they don't get the kind of freaky pasional wild sex other guys are getting.

Like I said, I think this is a big lose-lose situation for the girls and the guys in "second place".

I've always recomend couples this:

If you are a woman, just make an effort. Want to have happy man? Simple, just put out. Try to not look at it like a work, I mean... You want to do stuff for each other right? Make each other happy? Well, you can make your guy the happiest fucker alive, just fuck and that's it.

If you are a man, just try to understand where your girl comes from. And also, understand the nature of your relationship...

If you are the guy that can make a girl please you and make all your wishes true, then don't push for that shit. Yes, some relationships are not physicall, yes, some guys are more good looking than others and have always the upper hand when it comes to sex... If you are not that guy, just don't try to be a jackass and put a girl in a place where she has to do something she doesn't want to in order to stay to your side. Believe me, it doesn't worth it.

And if you can, don't date girls with a large sexual past. Less problems.

If you happen to be in a LTR with a girl and suddenly her past come out, don't think it twice, it will cause you and her a lot of pain.

Can't handle it? Move on. You like her? Stay and just forget. But don't think it twice. It'll blow up your relationship sooner or later.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-06-22T04:37:35+00:00

This will probably get removed for low effort, but I will just say that romance is prized lower than the raw physical attraction and emotional rollercoaster effect that makes women truly feel alive, and if anyone tells you any different, they’re either lying or they don’t know what they’re talking about.

GreenSatyr · 2020-06-22T06:21:09+00:00

What do you mean so many guys are literally like this. It's called the madonna whore complex.

WilliamWyattD · 2020-06-22T04:07:58+00:00

It totally makes sense to limit the speed at which you get sexual with someone you care about more than with a one night stand. There are many obvious reasons for that.

Now, having more limits on the actual sexual acts you eventually do with someone you care about is more problematic. If you were doing acts you don't enjoy with a ONS in order to get overall sex with a guy that you did enjoy, then it makes sense that in your real relationship you might want to be more 'real' and just do things you enjoy, or at least, don't mind. However, if you were say enjoying anal with a bunch of ONS and then don't want to do it with your eventual husband one day, who wants to do it, then that is more curious.

cohost3 · 2020-06-22T04:14:35+00:00

This is a thing that women find desirable in men, but men don’t find desirable in women. Women like it when men have lots of partners but choose to take it slow with their girlfriend. I’m guessing it’s because it shows he’s high value. Men do NOT see it that way when roles are reversed.

Andesjack12 · 2020-06-22T04:41:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

vicistvic · 2020-06-22T06:38:05+00:00

Sluts have daddy issues.

Concept_Beginning · 2020-06-22T06:50:43+00:00

I definitely understand where you're coming from in concept. Sex that is beyond vanilla and fully loving/romantic in nature has always felt like it holds no place in a relationship with the love of your life to my mind. I'm saving myself for my husband either way but if you want to get that out of your system it would make sense that you'd want it to be with someone that hasn't seen your SOUL so you never feel it's held against you or stops you from an intimacy that is needed in a marriage.

I think as women we are extremely fragile in this way and a lot of us are coerced or brainwashed into thinking this fragility is something to rebel against and brave for the happiness of the men we love. Men will never understand this because they aren't the ones having to sacrifice any comfortability.

_innominate_ · 2020-06-22T05:58:35+00:00

Pola_Lita · 2020-06-22T06:24:44+00:00

What acts? Why would it be done? Who wrote this?

OP, where did you get this? Is this supposed to represent the majority of women? I can't even tell what it means.

HollowLegMonk · 2020-06-22T06:37:21+00:00

She’s right, I don’t get it.

CatchPhraze · 2020-06-22T06:42:35+00:00

I'd rather fall down stairs then have casual sex. But in a relationship let's goooooo.

I don't get the idea of wanting to explore with strangers. Seems like A hard landing.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-06-22T07:04:53+00:00

I mean I do get it, really.

I just 1) decide not to engage it that behaviour because its risky and 2) I won't commit to sluts so there's that.

spacechicken1990 · 2020-06-22T07:12:23+00:00

I can have wild kinky sex with someone who I dont love, i could never have vanilla sex with someone who i do because it just would never satisfy me.

captainmo017 · 2020-06-22T08:21:19+00:00

That sex isn’t all about them

Dodechaedron · 2020-06-22T08:22:28+00:00

Eggs are precious, sperm is cheap. Women (a majority, imo) instinctively want to be sure that the partner will stay to provide for her and the offspring, during pregnancy and after. This is why they avoid casual sex and promiscuity. This is exactly what a number of men want (I'll make an assumption: a majority ...?). Ergo a majority of men want what a minority of women are willing to offer. When a woman is out for casual sex (no moral judgment here) and she has an ample choice of potential ons partners, why shouldn't she be choosy? I would if I was her.

TechnicalMight0 · 2020-06-22T10:10:57+00:00

Assuming the view of the woman quoted by the OP, here's my answer:

If it's the idea of NEVER wanting wild sex with the partner you love so much then I'm not sure even the typical woman understands, well, at least outside of having mental issues feeling ashamed for having wild sex, which both men and women can understand but men (and probably most women too) don't prefer such partners.

If it's about making the man you love more wait because you are afraid of losing him or nervous or something like that then it's not that (most) men don't understand this. It's that we have no way of looking inside the woman's head to see if it's true or if she's instead not actually physically attracted to the man. It all comes down to this trust and it gets harder for a man to trust this blindly (typically it's only her word that he has to go on) when he's looking for a huge commitment (marriage or cohabitation) or when he knows her previous partners were better looking or more exciting then him, especially when the woman is 30 years old or above and would benefit most from snagging a "reliable" man just in time before she loses her youthful looks and fertility. It gets worse because even if the woman believes it's because she loves her current partner more, that is not always true on a subconscious level.

TL;DR: it's about trust, because there are bad actors out there. This seems like it should be obvious, including to women, since women are distrustful of a man's intentions too (as they should be), but to some women it's not because they can't fathom someone not trusting their word, or they pretend not to understand so they can shame men for something.

thetruthishere_ · 2020-06-22T10:34:17+00:00

As an escort I dont do things with clients Id do with a partner I care about.

Id be more 'freaky' with my man and pretty vanilla with my clients so I understand where this comes from. I dont have that bond and trust to fully give myself to a client. Nor do I have that sexual attraction to them like my man.

I dont do hookup or one nighters. I work or partner only.

Reisiluu · 2020-06-22T10:34:40+00:00

I don't get it either. I would never let a stranger have sex with me and then walk out the door. If that sex was degrading it would be even worse.

relish5k · 2020-06-22T11:02:34+00:00

Yeah I don't get it either! My craziest sex has always been in the confines of a monogamous relationship.

sanrio-sugarplum · 2020-06-22T11:03:59+00:00

I actually agree if it's a power dynamic thing. No matter what you're into, do you really want to watch tv or make dinner with the person who just got done calling you a dumb whore and treating you like a piece of meat for the past hour? Or would you rather do those things with someone who feels like an equal partner?

psypD · 2020-06-22T04:54:46+00:00

Even if we "got it" the response would still be absolute disgust at an abhorrent whore.

Silly_Field · 2020-06-22T05:47:04+00:00

Do women even do this?

The wildest sex I’ve had has been in relationships.

This seems more like something men do to me. It’s the whole Madonna/whore thing. When they love you all they want is missionary and massages.

AlissonHarlan · 2020-06-22T06:00:06+00:00

Well 1) I you've had a self destruction phase, cbd you're not in this anymore. It's not withdraw sex, it's having grow self respect.

2) you guys really expect that you will live the passion of novelty for 25 years?

InfamousLob · 2020-06-22T04:50:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

reluctantly_red · 2020-06-22T04:21:54+00:00

I'm gonna ingore the implications of making "the one" wait for it, because that's imo a loud minority.

of having wild impromptu sex with strangers but limiting sex with people you love to only certain acts.

Guys don't get that most of those "wild impromptu sex acts" hurt and that they are a one-off, at best a few times more because someone convinced you that it would start feeling better after a while.

That it's not every damn stranger gets it, except you. It's "I've tried it and I hate it.". If you came first, then I would have tried it with you and still hated it.

Grand_Duty · 2020-06-22T05:17:47+00:00

It shows that Western women are going the way of Africa, not Asia (Japan, South Korea) as some users claim. The lower class women will have children out of wedlock, while middle class and upperclass women will reach and try to grab the never enough standards that they impose on themselves. Then they'll eventually settle with guys that they don't like and have sex with them barely once a month, to inevitably divorce him after the kids enter university.. Women and responsibility, common sense, or accountability does not happen because someone will always pick her up and dust her off.

Mimoxs · 2020-06-22T04:56:33+00:00

That was absolutely written by a larping dude lmao that's not how women work

You don't suddenly want to do some shit you don't like because the man is more attractive. If anything you should be far more reluctant

Sultmaker_9000 · 2020-06-22T09:29:44+00:00

Very true from my experience. Women you casually screw in under 6hrs see you as alpha. As long as you have a dominant masculine frame you tend to be the man women 'lose themselves with' as they describe it, and can lead them nearly anywhere. I have always been able to get hookup types back 2-4 times, each time ramping it up with increasing levels of dirtiness. They don't see you as relationship material.

Women fall into your frame, so even if you are good at picking up women, but behave like a nun in the bedroom it won't logically follow.

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Title	Guys Don't Get It
Author	Appomattoxx
Upvotes	61
Comments	383
Date	June 22, 2020 3:47 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hdkofx/guys_dont_get_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/guys-dont-get-it.698496 https://theredarchive.com/post/698496

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