N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD

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Well, the most commonly cited dictionary definition of the word isn’t actually the way that you’re using it, so it’s sort of ironic how you are saying that doesn’t change the meaning of the word.

This is how the word hypocrisy is defined by Oxford Languages: - the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not conform; pretense.

To give an example to better explain this, let’s say there is a person named John. Let’s say John prefers low body count women despite being promiscuous himself. Let’s also say that for John, this isn’t just a matter of preference but also a moral issue.

John believes the following: 1. It’s immoral for women to sleep around. 2. It’s not immoral for men to sleep around.

If John sleeps around, he isn’t actually a hypocrite because he isn’t acting in contradiction to his stated moral position, because he’s acting in line with the beliefs he has for men.

If this is anything, it’s a double standard, not hypocrisy.

I think a lot of women throw around the word hypocrite to try and shame men out of there preferences as a sort of tactic, which is what it is, but I just find it interesting to watch these semantic games

Edit:

Anyway, ultimately, using the word hypocrisy in the way you do isn’t really productive because a straight man preferring a women would be hypocrisy according to you, since he prefers something that he is not, which is sort of dumb.

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Uh, you ever try to tell a young man in his 20s no?! I dated 8 guys from the ages of 17 to 24, including my husband. Seven of them I slept with. Seven of them whined when I would try to say emphatically that I was not ready for sex, and six of those guys guilted me into early sex. They were mostly other wise nice people (except for two really bad eggs). Even my husband was guilty of it! The first guy I dated at 17 while we were both virgins told me repeatedly when I said no that he could just force me to, if he wanted. I thought it was weird the first time he said it, but the 2nd and 3rd time! He freaked me out, and I dumped him before he got the chance. That was my intro to dating, and I didn't date again for another year.

Seriously, try to ask the average guy to wait a month or two. And as you get older, the time a guy is willing to wait is shorter. I'm 42 now, but I was 20 then and remembered just feeling so exasperated. It was almost better to just get the first episodes of sex over with and then try to figure out if he's decent human. Because most of the guys were. But damn, the whining!

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Good God, no! Haha! When a guy is otherwise so kind and interesting and seems perfect, I always felt like I was the one who was being difficult by not being ready and making him whine. Trust me, I did learn after the two mean guys to pick up other signs and just walk away before a bad relationship even happened. But so many great guys just wanted the sex way early. They always seemed very intent on the female orgasm, like it was a way to gage if I was into him. For a lot of women, that's hard to achieve if you're not really comfortable with the guy yet!

I guess what I'm trying to say is generally guys are comfortable with sex earlier in a relationship than women. So as a woman, you feel you may be throwing out a perfectly good relationship by not conceding a week or a month before you are ready, so you get used to being uncomfortable for your first few sexual episodes with a new boyfriend.

Whining is not necessarily a sign that a guy is a jerk. But think of this, if n count is supposed to be important for a girl and something she needs to keep an eye on, then she is much more likely to stay with guys that she really should have separated from, simply waiting until a guy comes around that she is willing to dump her current boyfriend for. Guys don't like being used like that. Sure, her new boyfriend might like that she's only slept with one other guy before him, but the old boyfriend will not appreciate feeling that 3 or 4 years of his life was wasted on a relationship that she wasn't serious about simply because she didn't want to appear loose.

If you measure something, like n counts, it's going to skew other areas of life.

I thought you had a good point. Sometimes things are a bit harder to put in practice.

[–]sine120Married nerd 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

if n count is supposed to be important for a girl and something she needs to keep an eye on, then she is much more likely to stay with guys that she really should have separated from

I think the intention behind making them wait is to weed out the guys who are just interested in sex. For the most part, guys might be more comfortable with sex earlier, but decent ones should be respecting your boundary so long as it's not enforced arbitrarily.

If the guy is someone you "really should have separated from", there's nothing stopping you from doing so prior to having had sex. If you fear starting a new relationship and any stigma associated with an increased count, you can still hold off. If you have 12 failed 1-month relationships/ first dates in a year, a person who has sex on the first or second date and someone who does on the 5th or 6th will have a very different number. Ideally, if you're aiming to date long term, a non-pushy guy with similar long term goals and a good attitude won't mind waiting an extra few weeks.

[–]tritter211Pragmatic 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]That__ESTPurple Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

This is why I don't understand the standpoint of wanting a person with a LOW body count because they allegedly thinks sex is more special and more serious. If I hypothetically felt that sex was special or serious or that it bonded me in some indelible way to the other person, the only acceptable N count for myself or for my partner would be 0 before marriage. In that hypothetical scenario, a partner who proudly kept a low N would make my hamster spin out of control and make me think that because sex was so special and so serious to them, that they held me as equals to their previous partners and that I'd have no real way of knowing how the relationship was going since the oh so special and serious bond of sex didn't keep them from moving on from those people to me.

Which leads me to your point that you just made. If someone considers themselves to be proudly low N and only has sex within a relationship, the maximum amount of partners they can have without me seriously judging them would be 3 and then by then they need to be married to that third partner of be very much beating themselves up about the first two. Otherwise their "dating" has just been casual sex with extra steps.

[–]Apprehensive_Boat_70Purple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Context matters more than the number ime, i really dont care as long as the previous partners were at least respectful guys who cared about her but it didnt work out for whatever reason.

because sex was so special and so serious to them, that they held me as equals to their previous partners and that I'd have no real way of knowing how the relationship was going since the oh so special and serious bond of sex didn't keep them from moving on from those people to me.

Imagine this, a woman finds a guy who she considers special, lets say they engage in sexual intercourse after a year, but down the line guy turns insecure, depressive, needy, she inevitably loses attraction for him, tries to hold for as long as she can but it becomes draining and unbereable and goes somewhere else, thats because he is no longer the man she fell for, he is no longer the man she considered special, so yes, there are valid reasons why that bond might be broken

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Another case could be that a woman finds a guy who is the right person on paper, the special person on paper, but for whatever reason she is not feeling it, the guy can be really nice, good boyfriend, whatever, she still agrees to it because well, he is the right person for it cuz he respects her, treats her nice n stuff, maybe the guy is boring, not emotionally fulfilling, quite a terrible conversationalist, weak, needy, clingy and overall unnattractive but a good person nevertheless, would never abuse her, so she agreed to intercourse with him, not to mention there is a certain pressure to women to have sex, that it is a man need, that it is an expectation, that she ll be dumped if she doesnt put outs for being a frigid prude who no man will love, yeah.

Down the line she meets a guy who is also good, but also has that charming and sexy side that turns her on and she doesnt feels any pressure, inevitably she falls for him and makes him the special person, well, even though she didnt feel like the last guy was special, she though he was for pragmatic reasons, after all, he is the right guy on paper, but obviously she never feel bonded to him simply because he lacked many other qualities that although they arent important for a succesful relationship, they are necessary for attraction. So yeah it might be understandable why that bond was never made.

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Theres always an exception to the rule, just like many guys are unamused if they ltr a woman who has slept with a lot of women but little to no men, there are a few guys who still find it a big deal.

Lying about it. Claiming to be bisexual when they had never be sexual with a man. Had no desire. And in real life thought it was disgusting. But somehow successfully slept with women they were into by putting on a bisexual persona.

Assuming they were biological women, i also assume they were from very progressive spaces where rejecting a man over that might give you a mark of shame or sleeping with one gives you progressive points, since obviously in those spaces most people dont see sex as something serious you only do with someone who cares about you and you re attracted to them on an emotional level but rather a recreational activity or as a mean to an end

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You want me to send you a research paper? The evidence I have is working with colleagues who are wealthy in an industry that overrepresents with folks in the top 10%. They are more traditional than your average person.

But here you go:

"At the state level, median female income was strongly negatively related to anti-promiscuity morality and this relationship was fully mediated by perceived female economic dependence. These results were consistent with the view that anti-promiscuity beliefs may function to promote paternity certainty in circumstances where male parental investment is particularly important."

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4161927/

Waiting longer to have sex tied to more wealth, education and relationship happiness

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/waiting-longer-to-have-sex-tied-to-more-wealth-education-and-relationship-happiness/

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Being top percentile sociosexually unrestricted makes me not care at all about body count. Other than that, it's a pointless discussion as any preference for a number of bodies will find more than enough women meeting it, if it's age appropriate. Virgins at 30, not so much.

Also, having a large bodycount oneself tends to make you not care about body count in others. The whole body count topic is mainly insecurity of low-experience or no-experience men, or as some form of revenge fantasy to hit the women that have sex but not with those men.

Don't want a promiscuous woman? Don't date one. Also, if your whole ego security is based on a woman not lieing to you, you will never be able to have a stable and healthy relationship with one. You will always second guess if she just told you she had just 2 bodies before you.

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Very few men take part in slut shaming. It doesn't benefit them but hurts their prospects. Therefore it's mainly done by men who don't have a chance at casual sex to begin with.

Publicly men don't slutshame in part due to potential social backlash but also because it's literally counterproductive (men want to sleep with women, so there's no benefit in being openly judgmental of their sexual activity).

Slutshaming from men mainly occurs in established relationships from possessive boyfriends. Woman's past comes out, guy doesn't like that he's dating a chick who got around, guy lashes out. Starts prying into what she did with her exes and demanding she do the same with him. Gets paranoid about her possibly cheating, becomes even more bitter. She gets pregnant, he starts berating her about the kid not being his. It hurts here because the shaming's coming from a guy she cares about. And a guy having a promiscuous past himself doesn't prevent him from behaving like this.

Since it's happening in a private context it's not the most prominent type to idle observers, but it's absolutely the type women have the most actual problems with. From an internet random it's just an annoyance at most.

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[–]StupidWhiteBoiTee Hee 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

In dating you can have any "preference", as the youth like to say, you want. Her sexual history is paramount in assessing her character, loyalty, and critical thinking skills.

Companies, institutions, non profits, organizations, intelligence agencies, fraternities/sororities, etc check for past, because patterns of behavior are hard to change. Your past is a record of whom you were and who you more likely be in the future.

Promiscuous women can't feel anything as their own sentiments essentially know they see sex as a scratch, itch, insignificant, etc because they've been there and done it.

Women love their shaming tactics. A man not wanting to date a women who is promiscuous is not insecure. He's making a wise choice as promiscuous women are more likely to cheat, have stds, deadbedroom, put on so much weight (even before children get in the picture) nag their husband', and cuck him.

Do women even know how to use Google, the "revenge fantasy" doesn't happen to the women, the reality happens to the Man who marries her. He gets divorced and kicked out of the house, while she moves on with her new boyfriend buying her stuff.

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

In dating you can have any "preference", as the youth like to say, you want. Her sexual history is paramount in assessing her character, loyalty, and critical thinking skills.

What does sexual history have to do with loyalty or critical thinking skills?

He's making a wise choice as promiscuous women are more likely to cheat

So are extraverted women. Yet, nobody is shying away from those. You are hiding your insecurity behind a very tiny statistical effect. Promiscuous women have a highjer chance of dead bedroom? Are you fucking kidding me? It's the exact opposite. They are higher in sociosexual unrestrictedness, have higher libido and less chane of dead bedroom. You are just pulling things out of your ass. Also for STDs, get them check and then you are good. What is the point of making this an argument when it is irrelevant for your relationship with a negatively tested woman?

Put on weight? Nag their husband? Now you are just shooting from the hip with not even an explaining theory behind that statement or any data on it.

Do women even know how to use Google, the "revenge fantasy" doesn't happen to the women, the reality happens to the Man who marries her. He gets divorced and kicked out of the house, while she moves on with her new boyfriend buying her stuff.

I am not a woman, and it says so in my flair. Also, you don't understand what a revenge fantasy is.

[–]StupidWhiteBoiTee Hee 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

The type of woman to seek validation and attention from multiple men are the type to be impulsive, not think things through, and have maladaptive tendencies, which leads to lack of loyalty and poor critical thinking skills.
Not necessarily extroverted, it's mainly women who have divorced parents, come from single mothers, or abusive fathers tend to be the most promiscuous.

Yes, promiscuous women deadedroom their spouses. Hence the I'm not that woman anymore. My head hurts excuses, when she knows her head doesn't hurt. Women who lie about how many men could've potentially got them pregnant will also lie about STDS. If she's willing to lie to get what she wants she's willing to lie again. The point is these women can't buzz and have stds, urinary traft infections, yeast infections, etc

Women don't need to cuss, it's not lady like. And women do put on weight, especially after children.

Promiscuous women cheat and deadbed room

After four years of marriage, only 48% of married women want regular sex. Gen X and millennials have the least amount of sex.

Couples in sexless marriages consider divorce more often than couples who have regular sex.

Bivariate results suggested that delaying sexual involvement was associated with higher relationship quality across several dimensions. The multivariate results indicated that the speed of entry into sexual relationships was negatively associated with marital quality, but only among women."

onlinelibrarywileycomdoi10.1111j.1741-3737.2003.00444.xabstract

"I find that premarital sex or premarital cohabitation that is limited to a woman's husband is not associated with an elevated risk of marital disruption. However, women who have more than one intimate premarital relationship have an increased risk of marital dissolution."

MAGIC NUMBERS What’s the average number of sexual partners for each generation? From baby boomers to millennials It looks as though Generation X are having a whole lot of fun

Anna Duff

Interestingly, Generation X - aged between 38 and 53 - seem to be more liberated than those younger and older than them, racking up an average of 13.1 lovers.

Men have had 16.1 partners, and women of this age average 10.1.

But on the whole, it looks as though it could be the youngest generation who end up with the highest numbers.

Millennials - usually thought of as those aged between 23 and 37 - have slightly higher numbers, already clocking up an average of 11.6.

This equates to 10.8 partners for women and 13.4 for men.

I’m really happy with my boyfriend – so why don’t I want to have sex with him? I used to have exciting sexual liaisons with men who treated me badly. Now I’ve found my soulmate, I don’t understand why he doesn’t turn me on

Pamela Stephenson Connolly (Guardian)

*I’ve been with my boyfriend for 10 months and I’ve never been happier. We’ve got loads in common and he’s driven, funny and kind; he’s my absolute best friend – not to mention the fact he is gorgeous. The problem, however, is that I don’t feel very sexually driven any more. Before him, I had never had a real relationship, just “situationships” where I was being treated pretty badly by men but I was horny and excited to have sex with them

I want women to do better at debating.

Infidelity

Factors found to facilitate infidelity

Number of sex partners: Greater number of sex partners before marriage predicts infidelity

As might be expected, attitudes toward infidelity specifically, permissive attitudes toward sex more generally and a greater willingness to have casual sex and to engage in sex without closeness, commitment or love (i.e., a more unrestricted sociosexual orientation) are also reliably related to infidelity (pg.71)

Fincham, F. D., & May, R. W. (2017). Infidelity in romantic relationships. Current opinion in psychology, 13, 70–74.

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Individuals exhibiting sexually permissive attitudes and those who have had a high number of past sexual relationships are more likely to engage in infidelity (pg.344)

Barta, W. D., & Kiene, S. M. (2005). Motivations for infidelity in heterosexual dating couples: The roles of gender, personality differences, and sociosexual orientation. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22(3), 339–360.

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Men apparently assess and evaluate levels of sexual activity by a woman prior to long-term commitment—behavior that would have been observable or known through social reputation in the small-group lifestyles of our ancestors. Past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior, and having a large number of sex partners prior to marriage is a statistical predictor of infidelity after marriage (pg.92)

Buss, D. M., & Schmitt, D. P. (2019). Mate preferences and their behavioral manifestations. Annual Review of Psychology, 70, 77–110.

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As can be seen in this table, for both methods of interview, the probability of sexual infidelity was (a) significantly and positively associated with race (i.e., being Black), lifetime sexual partners, childhood sexual abuse, and premarital cohabitation… the odds ratio of 1.13 for lifetime sexual partners obtained with the face-to-face mode of interview indicates that the probability of infidelity increased by 13% for every additional lifetime sexual partner (pg.150)

Whisman, M. A., & Snyder, D. K. (2007). Sexual infidelity in a national survey of American women: Differences in prevalence and correlates as a function of method of assessment. Journal of Family Psychology, 21(2), 147–154.

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Regarding other sexual behaviors, we examined whether number of prior sex partners and viewing pornography predicted ESI. As has been found in prior research (Feldman & Cauffman, 1999; Treas & Giesen, 2000), having had more prior sex partners predicted future ESI, possibly suggesting that a higher interest in or acceptance of unmarried sexual activity may be related to ESI. (pg.607)

Maddox Shaw, A. M., Rhoades, G. K., Allen, E. S., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (2013). Predictors of Extradyadic Sexual Involvement in Unmarried Opposite-Sex Relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 50(6), 598–610.

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To insure that the female partner has previously avoided men and is not predisposed to seek them out, men often insist on virginity or little sexual experience (Espin 2018; Bekker et al. 1996). This idea, that low promiscuity becomes low infidelity after marriage, was supported by Essock-Vitale and McGuire (1985) who found that among adult women, promiscuity prior to marriage was also a predictor of infidelity once women were married. (pg.7809)

Burch, R. L. (2021). Solution to paternity uncertainty. In Encyclopedia of Evolutionary Psychological Science (pp. 7808–7814). Springer International Publishing.

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The high correlations for males (r = .85) and females (r = .79) between reported numbers of sex partners and EPC partners may bear on questions of both paternity and abandonment in the face of infidelity… But the question remains: does promiscuity predict infidelity? Our data are consistent with those of Essock-Vitale and McGuire (1985) in suggesting that a substantial proportion of the variance in infidelity can be accounted for in terms of number of sex partners… promiscuity is in fact a good predictor of infidelity. Indeed, promiscuity among females accounted for almost twice as much variance in infidelity (r2 = .45) as it did for males (r2 = .25). (pg.177)

Hughes, S. M., & Gallup, G. G., Jr. (2003). Sex differences in morphological predictors of sexual behavior: Shoulder to hip and waist to hip ratios. Evolution and Human Behavior, 24(3), 173–178.

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Participants who had experienced sexual intimacy with a greater number of partners also reported greater extradyadic sex and extradyadic kissing inclination. (pg.344)

McAlister, A. R., Pachana, N., & Jackson, C. J. (2005). Predictors of young dating adults' inclination to engage in extradyadic sexual activities: A multi-perspective study. British Journal of Psychology, 96(3), 331–350.

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Sexual promiscuity was significantly positively correlated with emotional promiscuity [r(356) = .261, p < .001], as well with sexual infidelity [r(323) = .595, p < .001] and emotional infidelity [r(323) = .676, p < .001] (pg.390)

Pinto, R., & Arantes, J. (2017). The Relationship between Sexual and Emotional Promiscuity and Infidelity. Athens Journal of Social Sciences, 4(4), 385–398.

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Each additional sex partner between age 18 and the first union increased the net odds of infidelity by 1% (pg.56)

Treas, J., & Giesen, D. (2000). Sexual Infidelity Among Married and Cohabiting Americans. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62(1), 48–60.

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[–]StupidWhiteBoiTee Hee 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Relationship Instability

When compared with their peers who report fewer partners, those who self-report 20 or more in their lifetime are:

Twice as likely to have ever been divorced (50 percent vs. 27 percent)

Three times as likely to have cheated while married

Substantially less happy with life (p < 0.05) (pg.89)

Regnerus M. (2017). Cheap sex: the transformation of men marriage and monogamy. Oxford University Press.

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Past research has established a clear link between premarital sex, particularly with partners other than an eventual spouse, and the risk of marital dissolution (Kahn & London, 1991; Paik, 2011; Teachman, 2003). (pg.14)

As expected, we find evidence of a nonlinear relationship between the number of sexual partners and the risk of divorce. Those in the highest category of partners (9+) consistently show the highest divorce risk by a substantial margin, followed by those with one to eight partners, with the lowest risk for those with none. In other words, we find distinct tiers of divorce risk between those with no, some, or many premarital, nonspousal sexual partners. (pg.16)

Smith, J., & Wolfinger, N. H. (2023). Re-Examining the Link Between Premarital Sex and Divorce. Journal of Family Issues, 0(0).

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The findings from this study demonstrate that the number of sexual partners participants had was negatively associated with sexual quality, communication, and relationship stability, and for one age cohort relationship satisfaction, even when controlling for a wide range of variables including education, religiosity, and relationship length… In no instance was increasing the number of sexual partners associated with better results for the relationship outcome variables for any of the age cohorts. These findings also provide additional support for previous scholarship, suggesting that multiple premarital sexual partners may be associated with increased marital instability (Paik, 2011; Teachman, 2003). (pg.715)

Busby, D. M., Willoughby, B. J., & Carroll, J. S. (2013). Sowing wild oats: Valuable experience or a field full of weeds? Personal Relationships, 20(4), 706–718.

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Women who serially cohabited and/or had premarital sex with someone besides their husband had higher odds of marital dissolution than women who never cohabited. Teachman’s findings suggest that both sexual history and cohabitation history influence marital stability. (pg.768)

Serial cohabitors’ higher number of sexual and cohabiting partners suggests that they have a longer history of dissolved relationships -- i.e., sexual, (most likely dating) and cohabiting relationships – that they bring to their cohabiting and later marital relationships. This relationship experience may affect the quality and stability of their cohabiting relationship and the odds of marrying their cohabiting partners. Consistent with Teachman (2003), who found that both sexual and cohabiting partnerships significantly predicted the odds of marital dissolution, our findings suggest that studies of union formation and stability should consider the full range of sexual experiences in early adulthood. (pg.774)

Cohen, J., & Manning, W. (2010). The relationship context of premarital serial cohabitation. Social Science Research, 39(5), 766–776.

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There is an interesting pattern of relation between the sexual history items and marital satisfaction. For both men and women, pre-marital romantic and sexual involvements were negative predictors of marital satisfaction (pg.32)

Kelly, E. L., & Conley, J. J. (1987). Personality and compatibility: a prospective analysis of marital stability and marital satisfaction. Journal of personality and social psychology, 52(1), 27–40.

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

The type of woman to seek validation and attention from multiple men are the type to be impulsive, not think things through, and have maladaptive tendencies, which leads to lack of loyalty and poor critical thinking skills.

But as you surely would agree, not all women who seek validation and attention from multiple men are this type. So it's more about your ability to identify what kind of woman you have in front of you, and not about going by her body count. Where are your critical thinking skills in this? Are you deficient in the ability to judge people correctly and need to go by proxy values like body count?

Not necessarily extroverted, it's mainly women who have divorced parents, come from single mothers, or abusive fathers tend to be the most promiscuous.

No, really, it's extraverted. The science is super clear with that. Extraverted women cheat more, are more illoyal, have more sex partners, etc. The whole array of promiscuous traits. If you want to reduce your chanes to get cheated on, don't accept extraverted women.

If she's willing to lie to get what she wants she's willing to lie again.

You are willing to lie to get what you want. You are lieing in this discussion already. You are no better.

The point is these women can't buzz and have stds, urinary traft infections, yeast infections, etc

You must be kidding me witth urinary tract infections and yeast infections. Virgins have those. You seem to not be well read on this topic and just swing buzz words around that you know nothing of.

Promiscuous women cheat and deadbed room

Non-promiscuous women do too. If you want to argue promiscuous women have more dead bedrooms than non-promiscuous women, you need to bring some data/sources for that.

After four years of marriage, only 48% of married women want regular sex. Gen X and millennials have the least amount of sex.

They might have the least amount of sex, but still, with 70% of them being in relationsships and 70% of them having sex more than 3 times per month, mostly several times per week, your dead bedroom story doesn't hold true. 6% of married womenreport having had no sex in the past year. And that includes all cases where the man doesn't want to have sex, which is about 50/50, if you go by /r/deadbedrooms and the sex ratio of men/women on reddit.

<image>

You cite the Jay Teachman study like all of your kind of ideologues. His sample is mostly super religious people. They have a very different value set and answer very differnetly on marriage happiness and don't divorce. I can guarantee you that there is not a single other study with a representative sample of the US or European populations, that shows similar results.

Fincham, F. D., & May, R. W. (2017). Infidelity in romantic relationships. Current opinion in psychology, 13, 70–74.

You would do good to acknowledge that there are 17 factors for infidelity in this study, and promiscuity is only one of them. Do you treat the other factors the same, or do you focus on promiscuity for value reasons and not for scientifically determined risk assessment? Do you know what the effect size of promiscuity is on infidelity? thought so.

[–]StupidWhiteBoiTee Hee 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

*No, Most are this type as they don't take dating seriously and lack due diligence

You can do both, assess her body count and character. Her lack of buzzing is paramount to the health of the relationship. Just because she's sometimes not mean to you, doesn't mean you should date her. Body count matters immensely, just because you as a women don't care, doesn't mean I shouldn't care. Higher n count more problems.

*According to Pamela Thomas, author of Fatherless Daughters (a book that examines how women cope with the loss of a father via death or divorce), women who grew up with absent dads find it difficult to form lasting relationships.Because they were scarred by their dad's rejection of them, they don't want to risk getting hurt again. Consciously or unconsciously, they avoid getting close to people.They may form superficial relationships in which they reveal little of themselves and put very little effort into getting to know others.

*For instance, research has demonstrated that children from father-absent homes are less able to delay gratification than children from two-parent homes (Mischel et al., 1989). They also demonstrate more interpersonal problems, poorer psychological adjustment, and more depression and anxiety than boys and girls from intact families (Jane Costello et al., 2006). As young adults, they consume more alcohol (Kenny & Schreiner, 2009), are more likely to be incarcerated (Anderson et al., 2002) and demonstrate more hostile behaviours relative to youth growing up with their biological father. Finally, many of these risks appear to be heightened for children and adolescents who – in addition to father absence – lack a positive relationship with their mother (Mason et al., 1994), are low in socio-economic status (Abdalla, 1992) or are living with mentally ill mothers (Jensen et al., 1989).

The results revealed that adolescent girls who experienced father absence early in life were twice as likely to have had sexual intercourse and seven times more likely to have been pregnant by age 17 relative to girls whose fathers were present during their early development. Moreover, these effects appear to be specific to girls whose fathers are voluntarily absent, with daughters of widows being spared from these outcomes (Draper & Harpending, 1982; Hetherington, 1972).

Although much research has found an association between father presence/ absence and daughters’ sexual decision-making, as scientists, we must be cautious about inferring a causal relationship between two variables without conducting an experiment. Indeed, whether fathers exert a causal impact on daughters’ sexual psychology is still widely debated due to the lack of randomised experimental research. Given that assigning women to experience father presence or absence before measuring their sociosexual behaviour would pose some obvious ethical dilemmas (not to mention numerous practical problems), we recently decided to try the next best thing: have women write about a time that their father was absent (or present) for an important life event and then measure various features of their sexual decision-making. With this goal in mind, we conducted five experiments testing the effects that reminders of father absence have on women’s sexual decision-making (DelPriore & Hill, 2013).

bpsorgukpsychologistabsentfathersandsexualstrategies

women with not present dads are more likely to seek that male validation which leads to the "extroverted" promiscuous women.

Generally speaking, respondents who report extensive premarital sexual experience report extensive extramarital activity. Measures of the locus of first intercourse and number of premarital partners show positive associations with (1) rating one's marriage as less happy than average, (2) the number of different extramarital partners, and (3) the intention to participate in mate-swapping activities. (pg.221-222)

Athanasiou, R., & Sarkin, R. (1974). Premarital sexual behavior and postmarital adjustment. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 3(3), 207–225.

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The findings from this study demonstrate that the number of sexual partners participants had was negatively associated with sexual quality, communication, and relationship stability, and for one age cohort relationship satisfaction, even when controlling for a wide range of variables including education, religiosity, and relationship length. (pg.715)

Busby, D. M., Willoughby, B. J., & Carroll, J. S. (2013). Sowing wild oats: Valuable experience or a field full of weeds? Personal Relationships, 20(4), 706–718.

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As predicted, such factors as sexual permissiveness, an avoidant romantic style, number of romantic relationships, and early onset of sexual intercourse were all correlated with a higher incidence of betrayal behaviors. These factors are likely to promote sexual activity with a larger number of partners, which, in turn, increases the chance that betrayal will occur. (pg.247)

Feldman, S. S., & Cauffman, E. (1999). Your cheatin' heart: Attitudes, behaviors, and correlates of sexual betrayal in late adolescents. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 9(3), 227–252.

The virgins are the least likely to have yeast infections, etc

Not necessarily, low n women, but Actually it's women who get raped and molested that deadbedroom.

Deadbedroom is not 50/50. It's overwhelmingly men by a 70/30 margin. Granted a quarter of those men should help cook, clean, be supportive, etc but most of these men are already doing that.

Also Similarsubreddits overlaps debunks that claim.

If low n women were deadbedrooming ,You should be seeing Christian, christian marriage, christian dating as top overlaps, that's not the case at all

marriage 43.78 survivinginfidelity 32.66 datingoverforty 25.97 sex 21.39 polyamory 18.20 breakups 14.25 seduction 14.23 purplepilldebate 14.16 askwomenover30 13.00 relationships 12.69 datingoverthirty 12.43 askwomenadvice 11.86 askredditafterdark 11.55 asktrp 10.51 relationship_advice 10.38 parenting 9.89 progresspics 9.67 wouldyoufuckmywife 9.33 fatlogic 8.88 dating 8.72 lonely

anvakagithubio also shows very low correlation to virgin or low n women deadbedrooming. you have only one with "Christian marriage", also considering that for almost two decades now the vast majority of "Christian" women that have gotten married 9/10 aren't virgins

I'm not sure where you get that I'm lying. I'm genuinely missing it. I make it very clear that I'm only looking for a Virgin, but non virgins continously. I judge her on her Body count as it tells you everything else about her.

The studies are up there and you completed disregarded them. Why are women like this?

Promiscuity is a scientific and value reason. Yes Pro

This is how I know I'm talking to a women who wants to larp as a man. Women can't jib and jab like men, they aren't upfront and direct, they are very passive aggressive. Lady stop trying to convince me to date non virgins. My family and friends, co-workers have dated and married them it works for them, but it won't work for me.

[–]StupidWhiteBoiTee Hee 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

In Fincham they mention a well-substantiated concept known as sociosexual orientation, which explains why high-n women tend to cheat—promiscuity is a strong proxy for sociosexuality, which in turn predicts infidelity, dissatisfaction and relationship dissolution. Women with unrestricted SOs are capable of having sex without emotional attachments, and they tend to be unfaithful in committed relationships, having affairs while married.

sociosexual orientation

a dimension of personality that describes people’s comfort with and preference for sexual activity in the absence of love or commitment. People who are said to have an unrestricted sociosexual orientation (usually but not exclusively men) report more sexual activity outside of committed intimate relationships (e.g., one-night stands, short-term relationships, extramarital affairs). In evolutionary theorizing, sociosexual orientation is considered a determinant of preferences about the enactment of short-term versus long-term mating strategies.

https://i.imgur.com/XIGNRnN.jpg

American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Sociosexual orientation. In APA Dictionary of Psychology. Retrieved June 20, 2022 from https://dictionary.apa.org/sociosexual-orientation

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sociosexually unrestricted individuals are more likely to: 1) engage in sex at an earlier point in their relationships; 2) engage in sex with more than one partner at a time; and 3) be involved in sexual relationships characterized by less investment, commitment, love, and dependency. Sociosexual orientation (just like all other personality traits) is a relatively stable trait of individuals over the life course; in other words, people are either sociosexually restricted or unrestricted most of their lives… As you can imagine, sociosexual orientation has a great impact on the risk of divorce. Sociosexually unrestricted individuals are far more likely to experience divorce than sociosexually restricted individuals because they are more likely to engage in extramarital affairs.

https://i.imgur.com/TD8LjrS.jpg

Kanazawa, S. (2008). The 50-0-50 rule in action: Sociosexual orientation and risk of divorce. Psychology Today. Retrieved 23 December 2021, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200811/the-50-0-50-rule-in-action-sociosexual-orientation-and

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sociosexuality, but not sex drive, was an independent predictor of lifetime number of sex partners. It seems that sex drive predicts number of sex partners only for those with an unrestricted sociosexual orientation; for those with a restricted sociosexual orientation, sex drive is irrelevant to lifetime number of sex partners. (pg.1264)

https://imgur.com/Pgn3GaU.jpg

Ostovich, J. M., & Sabini, J. (2004). How are sociosexuality, sex drive, and lifetime number of sexual partners related? Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin, 30(10), 1255–1266. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167204264754

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Those with a restricted SO prefer to engage in sexual behaviors within the context of a close and committed romantic relationship, whereas those with an unrestricted SO do not need a committed relationship in order to have sex. Not surprisingly, an unrestricted SO has been associated with a greater willingness to engage in infidelity when using either self-report (Barta & Kiene, 2005; Ostovich & Sabini, 2004) or behavioral measures (Seal, Agostinelli, & Hannett, 1994). Previous studies have shown that those with an unrestricted SO are generally less committed to their romantic partners (Jones 1998; Simpson & Gangestad, 1991), and low commitment is often a predictor of infidelity (Drigotas, Safstrom, & Gentilia, 1999). Similarly, those with an unrestricted SO are often looking for new, attractive partners (Simpson, Wilson, & Winterheld, 2004). (pg.222-223)

https://imgur.com/Ae1Kt3k.jpg

Mattingly, B. A., Clark, E. M., Weidler, D. J., Bullock, M., Hackathorn, J., & Blankmeyer, K. (2011). Sociosexual orientation, commitment, and infidelity: a mediation analysis. The Journal of Social Psychology, 151(3), 222–226. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224540903536162

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unrestricted sociosexuality may be a particularly debilitating enduring vulnerability that can render established long-term relationships such as mar- riage vulnerable to declines in satisfaction and stability (see Penke & Asendorpf, 2008). Consistent with this possibility, research has shown that unrestricted indi- viduals report lower commitment (Simpson & Gangestad, 1991), fewer relationship-maintenance motivations ( Jones, 1998), decreased sexual interest in their partners (Hebl & Kashy, 1995), increased attention to attractive extra-pair partners (McNulty, Meltzer, Makhanova, & Maner, 2018), and more frequent infidelity (Penke & Asendorpf, 2008). Together, the extant literature sug- gests that unrestricted sociosexuality may undermine processes inherent to long-term relationship mainte- nance that negatively impact intimates’ relationship satisfaction and long-term stability. (pg.2)

unrestricted (vs. restricted) intimates began their marriages less satisfied and remained less satisfied over time; although intimates with unrestricted (vs. restricted) partners began their marriages no more or less satisfied, they experienced steeper declines in satisfaction over time.2 Notably, unrestricted partner sociosexuality indirectly predicted marital dissolution through intimates’ declines in marital satisfaction… unrestricted (vs. restricted) intimates may experience poorer long-term relationship outcomes because they may be more likely to engage in infidelity. Indeed, prior research has dem- onstrated that such individuals are more likely to report being unfaithful in their long-term relationships (e.g., Penke & Asendorpf, 2008), a link that might be explained by increased attention to extra-pair partners (pg.11)

https://imgur.com/ivxaKm3.jpg

French, J. E., Altgelt, E. E., & Meltzer, A. L. (2019). The implications of sociosexuality for marital satisfaction and dissolution. Psychological Science, 30(10), 1460–1472. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797619868997

.

The behavior component, reflecting the quantity of past short-term sexual encounters, shows strong and unique links to the diversity of past romantic and sexual relationships, as well as the occurrence of sexual infidelity… Our results also confirmed the prediction that men and women who had more experience with short-term relationships in the past (i.e., those with high Behavior facet scores) were more likely to have multiple sexual partners and unstable relationships in the future. The behaviorally expressed level of sociosexuality thus seems to be a fairly stable personal characteristic. (pg.1131)

https://i.imgur.com/k3ZcwTn.jpg

Penke, L., & Asendorpf, J. B. (2008). Beyond global sociosexual orientations: a more differentiated look at sociosexuality and its effects on courtship and romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(5), 1113–1135. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.95.5.1113

Second bullet point

I do take problem with the last statement "past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior" in terms of lots of sex partners being a straight predictor of infidelity. That's not actually a conclusion of the former clause, as seen by the first study you linked.

He’s referencing a 2016 paper that I didn’t link. Use sci-hub to find that specific paper.

Third bullet point

Why are you using how they inquired about CSA as a way to lazily dismiss the entire survey?

But I think their data collection method is actually kind of bullshit that will significantly skew their model

Please elaborate on how the data collection method is bullshit.

Fourth bullet point

You seem to have confusion on what variance here means.

R-squared (R2) is a statistical measure that represents the proportion of the variance for a dependent variable that's explained by an independent variable or variables in a regression model. Whereas correlation explains the strength of the relationship between an independent and dependent variable, R-squared explains to what extent the variance of one variable explains the variance of the second variable. So, if the R2 of a model is 0.50, then approximately half of the observed variation can be explained by the model's inputs.

https://www.investopedia.com/terms/r/r-squared

Approximately half of the observed variation in infidelity can be explained by past promiscuity.

Pinto, Maddox and Treas bullet points

All of these studies confirm the heavy correlation between promiscuity and infidelity, demonstrating that the former is a strong predictor of the latter even if causality isn’t established.

Usually this speaks to an untested variable lying within the model, or the variables confound each other in a way that shows they might be proxies for the same thing.

Look into sociosexual orientation. That is the mediating variable that explains why promiscuous women are prone to infidelity.

[–]Otherwise-Term3014 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Otherwise-Term3014 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

If you reject these obvious pitfalls of promiscuity,

I don't reject STD probability. But you can test for those and if she is clean, the past sexual encounters don't matter regarding STDs.

I don't think there is support for your claim that having lots of sexual partners makes people on average experience more loss of emotional connections. Relationships are the more severe cause of trauma here. Again, since you pick your woman by assessing her, instead of getting an "average promiscuous woman", just like with an STD test, you can check for her emotional trauma, which you should do anyway, since all people can come with emotional trauma, regardless of n count. There certainly is no guaranteed connection between high n count and emotional trauma.

So if those are your main points, you can and should check them with any woman, not just with promiscuous women. And if they get past that check, it should be no problem to be with a promiscuous women for you, right?

[–]Otherwise-Term3014 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Otherwise-Term3014 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

One thing I’ve noticed from pseudo intellects is that they use the word “projecting” as a discrediting tactic when they don’t have a good support for their position.

I agree, a lot of people just use projections without a basis for that assumpption. I don't. It's literally the first time i ever used this in years on reddit, because i really think your own views influence how you think others must be thinking. That your thinking isn't true, can be seen from sociosexuality. You even think other men lie, without reason, just to make it fit more with your own assumption about how men are, which is based on your own views. That is projection.

Your sources just show how number of sexual partners pre marriage influences divorce rate. That doesn't show how men view this in a very serious way (as obviously they don't, because they ARE in marriages that get divorced with those women), nor that men who claim they don't care, are lieing.

If you don't want to be labeled a pseudointellectual, you should at least provide sources that actually support the statements you make.

Also, if infidelity and divorce rate is so important to you, do you also exclude women with all of the other factors for infidelity in your search for a partner?

<image>

[–]Otherwise-Term3014 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Infidelity and divorce is important to EVERYONE in a relationship/marriage. That statement alone with trying to single me out and attribute it being only important to me is ridiculous.

The purpose of introducing a study into a debate is to try to give the opposing side a chance to view third party support for one’s argument. It’s up to the one providing the study to tie it into the debate. It’s up to the opposing side to step back and connect the dots (if they have the mental capacity).

Life experience and time on earth will inherently improve your dot-connecting skills. What I’ve learned is most people can’t be convinced of anything, they just need to experience it, even in the face of real data to help them (men especially). While I’m aware that most men don’t take advice at face value, it’s still up to guys like me to warn young men about serious pitfalls in relationships. It valuable to listen to men with a good amount of life experience. As an example, Warren Buffet said that the most important decision a man will make is who is marries. Instead of trying to argue that statement, you should be asking yourself why, then using that information to help yourself down the road.

[–]SlowEffective8146Red Pill Man 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]RahLyt 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]RahLyt 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]RahLyt 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]RahLyt 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Can you explain to me how is it an insecurity? Because statistically I wouldn't be the best she ever had?

That you need to be the best she ever had to feel good about yourself is rooted in your fear of not being good enough, of being replaced by someone better. A man who is confident in his value to her and has a lot of self-esteem, doesn't care about if he is the best she ever had, or just assumes he will be the best she ever had. He doesn't need to protect himself against feelings of inadequacy or abandonment, because he is secure in his view of himself as a desirable sex partner.

For me personally (this will hurt a lot of feelings) I can't possibly date a girl with a high N count because my being won't allow me to not feel disgusted at my self for dating/cuddling/etc a girl who was cummed on by a bunch of men.

What exactly disgusts you with that?

My natural protective instincs won't kick in for a girl that was everyone's at some point.

From what do you protect women in general?

I'd say 30% of my female friends are promiscuous.

What is promiscuous to you? What is your own bodycount and age?

[–]RahLyt 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

That you need to be the best she ever had to feel good about yourself is rooted in your fear of not being good enough, of being replaced by someone better.

I couldn't give much of a shit. She could be fucking, Michael B Jordan for all I care.

I seriously don't care and I feel 0 insecurity about it.

A man who is confident in his value to her and has a lot of self-esteem, doesn't care about if he is the best she ever had, or just assumes he will be the best she ever had. He doesn't need to protect himself against feelings of inadequacy or abandonment, because he is secure in his view of himself as a desirable sex partner.

Sure. Once again, this you replying to your own argument.

What exactly disgusts you with that?

Honestly I don't really care why I feel this way. It's how I feel and it's good enough for me, if someone could prove to me that this feeling comes from misogyny, I'm open to hear the arguments. This feeling coming from insecure wouldn't make any sense either.

Also what I don't understand, so guys are crying everywhere because they can't get sex, but they would rather be misogynistic and virgins rather than having a relationship with a woman because of an insecurity? That's a ppd women type of argument, completely based on projection. I don't buy it lol.

From what do you protect women in general?

When I'm in a relationship? Every possible threat?

What is promiscuous to you? What is your own bodycount and age?

More than 10 by 25 but I don't have a hard cutoff, if she's giving me hoe vibes, or I understand that her history was different from what she first advertised, it's a turn off because I'll just assume the worse. Late 20s my own body count is irrelevant to how I feel.

[–]macone235♂ sold out to the matrix 10 points11 points12 points 2 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]macone235♂ sold out to the matrix 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]macone235♂ sold out to the matrix 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

And yet, you sit there, and feel compelled to whine about men having body count preferences, because "they're insecure".

I don't whine at all. You are trying to discredit my person instead of arguing against them. Makes you look like an idiot.

I explain body count preferences by sociosexuality and insecurity.

I already did. Your inability to defend women's virtue makes you insecure.

I am not defending women's virtue, as i don't think women are virtuous. Make an argument or stop trolling.

That is why you hyper-focus on other people's preferences to the extent that you make up delusions as to why they occur.

Projection. I don't focus on anyones preferences. I take part in a discussion that YOU, the group of hyper-focused on body counts people started, and add my explanation to why you focus on body count so much. As i started out: i don't give a flying fuck about body counts in my sex life. I do give a fuck about the discussion about it online.

You are hyper-triggered by being called insecure, because it's true and it's super unattractive and unmanly. And you can't stand the fact that you are called unmanly on the internet, in a manosphere place, where your whole value depends on not being seen unmanly.

[–]macone235♂ sold out to the matrix 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I don't whine at all. You are trying to discredit my person instead of arguing against them. Makes you look like an idiot.

Don't worry, you discredit yourself.

I explain body count preferences by sociosexuality and insecurity.

You didn't explain much of anything. Your argument is as weak as your inability to stand on your own two feet away from women. Yet you project this onto other men, and act like they're insecure just because they attach their value to how much pussy they've gotten just like you do. "They're insecure, because they don't have sex", you say. Nice argument. lmao

Now let's look at the people who tend to argue for low body-count What is the actual common denominator? Values, not insecurity.

You are hyper-triggered by being called insecure, because it's true and it's super unattractive and unmanly. And you can't stand the fact that you are called unmanly on the internet, in a manosphere place, where your whole value depends on not being seen unmanly.

Sounds like more projection to me. I could give two shits about being manly or not, because once again, I don't tie my self-worth to women. If I did, then yes - I'd probably be slightly triggered if you made a valid point, but alas - you didn't, and I don't care.

My purpose here isn't to have a dick-measuring contest with other men. It's to reveal the truth, and promote to men a shift in values. I don't care if a woman has 50 bodies. However, I do care if the woman has manipulated a man into believing that she is acceptable to partner with.

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Values, not insecurity.

It's easy to call things values. You call people insecure who attach their value to how much sex they get. I would agree, if it's to the point of making a large part of their own value. What if they told you they just like to have lots of sex because it fits their values, not because of insecurity?

It's to reveal the truth, and promote to men a shift in values.

Ah, here we go, thanks for admitting it. I am not here to promote my values. I am not an ideologue. I don't have an agenda. I am just here for the truth. But as someone like you, who needs to defend values, you are bound to HAVE TO twist reality, in order to stand behind your values. Imagine if evidence would come up that runs counter to your values. Would you change your values? nope. You would reject this evidence.

[–]macone235♂ sold out to the matrix 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

It's easy to call things values. You call people insecure who attach their value to how much sex they get. I would agree, if it's to the point of making a large part of their own value. What if they told you they just like to have lots of sex because it fits their values, not because of insecurity?

Not really, because values require consistency. Something you would know nothing about. These values have been around and passed down for millennia, and they exist for a reason while you and the women you defend bathe in hedonism.

Ah, here we go, thanks for admitting it. I am not here to promote my values. I am not an ideologue. I don't have an agenda.

You do have an agenda or you wouldn't be on a debate forum making definitive statements.

I am just here for the truth. But as someone like you, who needs to defend values, you are bound to HAVE TO twist reality, in order to stand behind your values. Imagine if evidence would come up that runs counter to your values. Would you change your values? nope. You would reject this evidence.

Surprise, surprise - more projection. I don't live a life in pursuit of what makes me feel good like you admittedly do, so I don't need to twist reality. My values are the truth. You're not here for the truth. You're here to push a narrative full of falsehoods, because it benefits you, which is why you make loaded statements with no logical reason even backing it.

It's not in my best interest to be calling women hoes that "I supposedly want to have sex with", but it's clearly in your best interest to defend them so that you can. The truth has a funny way of revealing itself when you question someone's motives, and yours clearly prevent you from making an objective argument.

[–]whatever8482Red Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MeanGuyNumber4 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]ATasteofTx214Purple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ainsleygzintrusive thot ♀ 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]MeanGuyNumber4 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Excellent_Badger123 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Stelless_Astrophel 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ainsleygzintrusive thot ♀ 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]MeanGuyNumber4 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ainsleygzintrusive thot ♀ 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]MeanGuyNumber4 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]noafrochamplusamurai 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]noafrochamplusamurai 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SlothMonster9This is a woman's flair 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ComfortableJeansMan, Aspiring Skitarii ⚙️ 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

I care, but I take sex and my romantic relationships very seriously. I don't sleep with a woman unless we're in a relationship and have developed real feelings towards one another. I've had plenty of offers, but I've only been with two women and kissed three, all three of those were in relationships. And I'm near 30 years old now. Honestly, without the emotion and romantic aspect, I just don't have the WANT for sex without love in me. That being said, in a relationship, it's every day. Sometimes multiple times a day. I love making the person I love feel good. There were times I'd be "giving" sexually without looking to "get" for myself.

I met a girl a little while ago. I started to really like her. We talked all the time, and I could feel myself starting to fall, and obviously, she felt the same way.

Then I found out that she had been in multiple threesomes, had sex with at least 30 people that I'd known about, and very likely more than that. A few friends even let me know they'd slept with her because they could see we were getting close and wanted to be open about it.

I instantly lost any desire to be with her romantically. We could be friends, but the thought of having sex with her became something I had no desire to do.

For me, given that I take sex to seriously and want to reserve it for people I have a special connection with, the thought of just giving it out so freely, as though it's nothing, is very off putting. It means a lot to me, I'd like it to mean a lot to the person I'm having it with also.

But outside of relationships, I don't much care what other people do. If you want to sleep with 10,000 people, go for it. We can still be friends, but that will make you a total non option for me. Which is fine. You shouldn't make decide what who you sleep with based on whether I would be in a relationship with you or not anyway. The same goes for any decision in your life.

It doesn't make you a BAD person, but it does make you someone I wouldn't want to be in love with, and that's okay.

If you're a person that sleeps with everything with a pulse and wants a partner that has less than 3 people, though, you're insane and I have to roll my eyes at that. It's hypocritical and ridiculous.

And that folks, is this internet weirdos' thoughts on sex.

[–]SameNotice4306 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Apprehensive_Boat_70Purple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NefariousnessLife220Gen X, childfree, woman, Whoreasaurus Rex, magical f*cking 🦄 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]DietTyronePurple Pill Man (Red Leaning) 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ComfortableJeansMan, Aspiring Skitarii ⚙️ 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ATasteofTx214Purple Pill Woman -2 points-1 points0 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Apprehensive_Boat_70Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

Women who pass on good guys do so because they fail to meet many emotional needs of the woman.

The same is happening here, the special connection means nothing when theres people who can go around saying they had a 3some with her, she is not meeting his more primordial need which is to feel admiration and inspiration, that shit is a huge emotional turn off, it kills romance and any inspiration of it, it kills your motivation, i personally dont feel like wining and dining someone like that, it feels awful af, moreover this guy takes his relationships seriously and values his intimacy, he is congruent with what he preaches therefore it is fair for him to look for a woman on his same level, why should he compromise on it when doesnt sleeps around nor chases casual sex?, if that woman wants a special connection so much she can go and demand it for them previous 30 guys, better yet those guys from the 3some, im pretty sure all of them would be willing to date her....oh wait.

Seriously, what up with those women who treat sex like some sort of meaningless act you can do with anyone but then act surprised when idealistic dudes who consider it special and romantic dont consider it special nor romantic with them and dont consider them ideal? Like no shit, just look for one of those more pragmatic guys who make sex the foundation of a relationship and dont care as long as they also get some.

We re no ones saviour, if a woman wants those kind of romantic men then she should align with them since first second, otherwise beat it, we also have wants, needs and desires, we re not mysoginists or fragile or insecure or whatever manipulative shame word just because we refuse to be some fraternity's mascot saviour.

Just remember mulan's song "a girl worth fighting for🎵🎶", as cruel as it sounds, one who engages into 3somes and has a history of sleeping around with guys who dont even care about her but see her as conquest to brag about is not one worth fighting for.

[–]ATasteofTx214Purple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Is there a phenomenon of promiscuous women intentionally seeking sexually conservative men, I've never seen nor heard of that? Sexually expressive women r rarely lonely, even n old age who doesn't love a saucy old broad with a lifetime of great hookup stories?

treat sex like some sort of meaningless act you can do with anyone

The act of sex is meaningless, which is y P in V sex during rape is traumatic vs. sex during a hookup vs. sex in a loving, committed relationship. If there were a greater spiritual, emotional, or relational meaning to (the act) sex then how do those of us who were penetrated while still n diapers, or pre-pubescent, or caught n a stairwell by a complete stranger etc. resolve that "meaning?"

The individual partners, the timing, maturity, the mental state, the position toward life goals, the comfort level, the acceptance, the commitment or lack of, the nature and/or quality of the relationship, or the goal; all sorts of factors r considered in how special, romantic, and meaningful sex is between the people involved.

Nobody's trying to force u to wife, date, or even consider sluts; nobody owes anyone an explanation of their standards. But your belief system in the absence of context is both flawed and presumptuous. Sometimes, the standards we use to protect us become our prison. I see that a lot with this group, especially this particular topic.

[–]DietTyronePurple Pill Man (Red Leaning) 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Is there a phenomenon of promiscuous women intentionally seeking sexually conservative men

There is indeed a phenomenon of women living the modern City girl lifestyle, then turning 30 or getting tired of that life and do a 180 on the qualities they look for in a guy. They start shifting to prioritizing a guy with a stable career, good core values, who's close with his family, values structure and has a plan for his household, while formally court a woman he cherishes, who wants kids and would make a good dad. Those guys tend to be more conservative. Far progressive guys tend to be more into situationships, freedom, polygamy, open relationships, etc. So, yeah, some progressive women do go for more conservative men and get peeved when the values of those men makes them not as accepting of these woman's pasts. Women won't have these issues if they go for far left male feminists.

[–]Apprehensive_Boat_70Purple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Is there a phenomenon of promiscuous women intentionally seeking sexually conservative men, I've never seen nor heard of that? Sexually expressive women r rarely lonely, even n old age who doesn't love a saucy old broad with a lifetime of great hookup stories?

You ve just read one of many, wtf?.

The act of sex is meaningless which is y P in V sex during rape is traumatic vs. sex during a hookup vs. sex in a loving, committed relationship.

So meaningless that a pregnancy can result from it, you have to take so many precautions just for it to be "meaningless"which wouldnt be possible if it werent for modernity, even the word casual sex is an oxymoron, the fact we have to refer to it as casual to make it different from normal "sex" shows how much cognitive dissonance there is around this topic, if it was meaningless then cheating shouldnt be a big deal neither, because sex in meaningless, yet there is no difference if someone cheats by hooking up with a stranger vs having sex with someone they have emotions for, both are considered equally morally reprehensible.

If there were a greater spiritual, emotional, or relational meaning to (the act) sex then how do those of us who were penetrated while still n diapers, or pre-pubescent, or caught n a stairwell by a complete stranger etc. resolve that "meaning?"

Raping someone and calling it sex is like shoving ice cream down someones throat agaisnt their will and say you were just feeding them my obtuse friend, in fact if it is so meaningless then raping someone should be no different than to steal a kiss or touching someone, yet both acts have serious consequences, rape way more but even stealing a kiss withouth consent is reprehensible and can be legally prosecuted.

The individual partners, the timing, maturity, the mental state, the position toward life goals, the comfort level, the acceptance, the commitment or lack of, the nature and/or quality of the relationship, or the goal; all sorts of factors r considered in how special, romantic, and meaningful sex is between the people involved.

Ie why him as an individual who always treated sex as something meaningful and special, finds no meaning, romance or specialness in comitting to someone who treated it as a casual activity.

Nobody's trying to force u to wife, date, or even consider sluts; nobody owes anyone an explanation of their standards. But your belief system in the absence of context is both flawed and presumptuous. Sometimes, the standards we use to protect us become our prison. I see that a lot with this group, especially this particular topic.

I simply dont feel attracted to women who sleep around and i find the though of wining and dating one boring and emotionally unfulfiling as heck, it really isnt rocket science.

Nobody's trying to force u to wife, date, or even consider sluts

Haha

[–][deleted] 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator[S,M] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	5
Comments	273
Date	November 11, 2023 5:00 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17symnw/n_counts_weekly_discussion_thread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/n-counts-weekly-discussion-thread.1238134 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238134

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