Negging and shit-testing are the same thing.

anomalocarus · 2026-04-10T01:35:12+00:00

What even is shit-testing?

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-04-10T02:36:48+00:00

The difference for me is that I know exactly what “negging” is and have seen many consistent, concise definitions for and examples of it. But I have seen the term “shit testing” used a million times, and still am not entirely sure what it actually is. Every example seems different and usually don’t make sense.

Expensive_Lion1807 · 2026-04-10T02:00:36+00:00

So…unless the definitions have changed…negging is designed specifically to damage a woman’s self esteem and make her more vulnerable to predatory sexual manipulation and “shit testing” is designed specifically to “test” men’s behavior under artificially created circumstances (aka vetting albeit in a very immature and manipulative way).

So both are bad but I certainly wouldn’t say that they’re the same.

One is calculated to be damaging, self serving and predatory, the other is immature and obnoxious but relatively innocuous.

Confident-Ad-6978 · 2026-04-10T04:03:41+00:00

Both are stupid if you want an actual girlfriend/boyfriend. The best relationships i had the girl never shot tested me and i never negged her ever I would not dream of that.

When i was young and dumb i insulted a girl once and then she fucked me. So i guess this strategy can work but it's ridiculous to me. I wouldn't be attracted to a women who's into being insulted by a man and im a ashamed of having done so.

razloz166 · 2026-04-10T06:30:40+00:00

This comparison is so dumb and infantile.

So first off, a neg is a sad attempt by a poorly schooled PUA (or PUA larper) to humiliate a chick who he wants to sleep with.

The idea being that with the chicks ego having been "shattered" (Jesus H Christ some of the red pills are so cringe), her guard is now down and she is easier to sleep with/convince to go out with you.

Like I said above it is a childish tactic. It doesnt work at all except to scorch the earth completely after you as a guy have already failed to hook her interest and are now just trying to save face.

Negging as originally taught by PUAs were about teasing but pushing the envelope slightly. Not insulting a girl and ruining her day or night.

A proper delivered neg is supposed to lighten the mood and make the girl laugh. Poking fun at worst, the situation. Not the girl herself.

Shit testing:

A redpill play on a term that the PUA came up with: testing.

Testing, not shit testing, is a way for a female to gage if: #1 how the man reacts to minor or unforseen conveniences. If the guy gets angry at little things. Then he will fly into a rage at big things.

#2 most guys pretend to be more of everything than they really are. More confident, have more money than they really do, have had more sexual partners than they truly have had. The list goes on and on. So a common little lighthearted test for say a guy who is short and clearly appearing overconfident, is her making a comment about how she has never been with a short guy before or how all the men she dated before were tall.

These test aren't done out of malice. They are done to see if the guy can walk the walk as opposed to just pretending to walk the walk.

In the context of shit testing, just like in red pills as a whole, its done out of malice.

Its always out of malice. Everything women do is out of malice and nothing more. Its a conspiracy 😱😱😱😱😱

MarioWilson122 · 2026-04-10T06:42:15+00:00

Calling them the same thing is already a dodge. The behavior looks similar on the surface, but the context and incentives are not the same. One is usually framed as a tactic to create attraction, the other is often framed as filtering for confidence and boundaries. Lumping them together ignores that difference.

Also, the reaction is not equal. When men do it, it gets labeled manipulative and toxic. When women do it, it gets softened into “testing” or “seeing how he handles pressure.” Same behavior, different moral judgment depending on who does it. That is the real point being exposed.

So no, this is not just “both are bad equally.” It is pointing out that people pick and choose when to moralize based on who is doing it. If it is truly just “being a dick,” then the standard should be consistent across both, not selectively enforced.

jenaemare · 2026-04-10T07:52:33+00:00

They don't have the same purpose.

Men neg to bring their female partners self esteem down in order to keep them around/control them.

Women shit test in order to make sure that the man they are involved with is a worthy partner. Shit tests do a great job to show if the man is a pushover who will change his opinion due to her reaction, or if he will be able or not put her in her place.

I'm a 30 yo woman active on pill online spaces since I was a teen. I learned a lot about PUA and TRP in the early 2010s. Shit tests are necessary to establish if a man is worthy enough for my time. I don't date men who can't pass my shit tests. That means, they are strong enough to stay composed and own their perspective despite my reactions. Putting me in my place when I misbehave or create drama. This is what inspires true respect and shows a worthy male partner.

I have been a victim of negging too, and it definitely isn't the same. What that did was break my self esteem so much that I went into depression and got cortisol inflamed so badly that I couldn't lose weight, thus increasing the negging from my (now ex) bf, with no real benefit to either of us. He had a bloated, depressed, dead eyed girlfriend and I had no will to live.

Shit tests don't have this prolonged effect on men. They are just tests, literally. You either pass them and you're good enough for that woman, or you dont, and you move on to the next woman. But it will not cause lasting hormonal & mental damage.

Xiggyj · 2026-04-10T12:17:54+00:00

Negging and shit testing aren’t really the same. Many women aren’t even aware they are doing the shit testing, but for them it’s to test how safe and confident a man is, or how much she means to him. Negging is a very deliberate tactic to lower the confidence of a woman so she is more likely to choose you. Women will test you, there isn’t a way out of that, however, if she’s the type of woman to put you in dangerous situations or set you up to be humiliated, leave her.

Razon-Literature-800 · 2026-04-10T06:58:57+00:00

They're both shitty but they aren't the same at all. Negging is done by men to make the woman perceive him as high(er) value. Shit-testing is done by women to measure a man's value.

ViolentShallot · 2026-04-10T07:44:51+00:00

Shit testing is a way to check integrity in a situation where faking is common.

Negging doesn't try to check integrity. Different goal completely.

So no. Drop the victimism.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-04-10T12:13:14+00:00

why is negging bad? it teasing and banter

Demasii · 2026-04-10T02:03:47+00:00

Not really.

Negging is to make women self conscious so she seeks validation from the man.

Shit testing is women challenging a man that she is kinda interested in to test whether he has poor boundaries. If he does than she loses respect for him.

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razloz166 · 2026-04-10T04:17:46+00:00

nope not even close

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-04-10T06:02:46+00:00

Shit testing isn’t meant to be arousing/create attraction but negging is

icypiee · 2026-04-10T06:22:36+00:00

Men employ negging to bring a woman’s confidence down so she is easier to manipulate or have sex with.

Women employ “shit tests” to vet a man to see if she should continue seeing him.

One is used to manipulate. One is used to test mettle. They seem pretty different to me and make sense in a biological way as well.

pie-mart · 2026-04-10T16:30:10+00:00

I will just say, men definitely shit test too. They see if she says no to a coffee date its actually that she doesn't like him and wants a fancy restaurant instead and she is dropped. Even if its an untrue assessment

Men definitely test the women they date as well to see what she will do in a given situation and act upon the information he gathers from the test

anotsmallthing · 2026-04-10T17:55:45+00:00

equating behaviors between two sexes with different biological imperatives never goes well

shit-testing is built into female behavior and tests men's ability to not be blown over by a woman just acting like a woman

negging is part of an array of behaviors and techniques that humble a woman and assert dominance in the tacit dominance game that exists between every human ever especially men and women

it's not telling her eyes are lopsided and she's fat and waiting for her to break and drop to her knees and suck

like all bluepillers, you put nonfunctional idealism over working reality in the name of being nice or whatever. the couples i see where they're still together at 40-90 yrs old and HAPPY the guy is smoothly dominant with things like negging naturally built in without any real harm. the ones where they even ARE still together and the guy isn't smoothly dominant, she's a bossy domineering bitch and he's a sniveling "well, happy wife, happy life" guy.

a relationship where the guy is happy, everyone is happy.

--EndLessOrochi-- · 2026-04-10T19:13:02+00:00

Well, the motivations behind each is different. Negging is done to make the woman like you . Shit testing is done so that a woman can test if you are actually alpha or not, so that she knows if he is worth liking .

Other than that, yeah in terms of what each actually involves they are pretty similar. But to play devil's advocate the women that say negging is bad are clueless enough to think that women don't shit test or at the very least those that do are bad. They are wrong but it's at least internally consistent.

Foreign_Look8668 · 2026-04-13T16:42:04+00:00

I've been n knowing girls negging too

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2026-04-14T19:36:10+00:00

This is asking the world to be different.

Don't ask the world to be different, be better.

Axis_Control · 2026-04-10T02:40:35+00:00

Only bad men with no morals do negging and shit testing.

Best to harshly reject these types and then avoid them.

ImaginaryDimension74 · 2026-04-10T01:52:37+00:00

They are related but not necessarily one and the same. Negging can be a way to react to shit tests for example.

I think the context you miss is that an neg a is supposed to be reaction a man takes in response to negative action (shit test) a woman takes towards him to show he doesn’t just sublimate . They aren’t supposed to be a man simply being negative or challenging.

While I think there’s some merit to knowing how to handle shit tests, my overall feeling is to simply walk away from them. They’re a sign of ongoing trouble to come, which is best avoided unless one really wants to play with such social dynamics.

KayRay1994 · 2026-04-10T02:27:13+00:00

Here is the issue though: shit testing is less something women do and something men decided women do. Huge difference. At most I’ve seen the dudes who use the term try to gaslight women into thinking their behavior is shit testing

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2026-04-10T11:46:34+00:00

Negging and shit testing are both terms from the red pill, so no.

Title	Negging and shit-testing are the same thing.
Author	GGMcThroway
Upvotes	27
Comments	138
Date	April 10, 2026 1:26 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1sh8kps/negging_and_shittesting_are_the_same_thing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/negging-and-shit-testing-are-the-same-thing.1577554 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577554

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