Studies have shown that when it comes to serious, life-threatening diagnoses, men are 7x more likely to leave if their wives are diagnosed than women are if their husbands are diagnosed. Talk about double standard!

abaxeron · 2022-10-18T07:33:33+00:00

men are 7x more likely to leave if their wives are diagnosed than women are if their husbands are diagnosed.

21% of men leaves their ill wives — more than one in 5.

Neither of these two results got confirmed in a 2015 study even after correction for coding errors. Only 6% of sampled couples divorced.

Husband’s illness onset is not associated with subsequent divorce compared with remaining married. In contrast, wife’s illness onset is positively associated with 1% higher probability of subsequent divorce compared with remaining married. However, we fail to reject a test of the null hypothesis that the coefficients for husband’s illness onset and wife’s illness onset are equal (p = .1532)

Neither husband’s nor wife’s cancer or lung disease onset is associated with subsequent divorce. Wife’s heart problems onset (but not husband’s) is positively associated with a 2% higher probability of subsequent divorce compared with staying married.

Wife’s stroke onset is positively associated with a 3% higher probability of divorce compared with staying married (not statistically significantly different from the coefficient for husband’s stroke (p = .3818), which is itself not statistically significant).

Thus, we have two studies with vastly different results. One of them is more recent, has acknowledged its mistakes and re-evaluated its data, followed the sample through several surveying waves, and has 5x sample size.

Yet, you construct your entire post and header quoting the original 2009 study; worst of all, you know of the subsequent one, its correction, and its superior design.

This suggests that men are

virtually not different at all in their behavior when it comes to divorce and their spouse's illness onset, and that 2009 study either also had an error, was outright falsified, or suffered from unrepresentative sampling.

I have always thought it was weird that it is considered more socially acceptable for men to date younger women

Not at all. There is no social acceptance limitations on what women do in the privacy of their bedrooms. The public is even more accepting of female pedophiles than their male counterparts.

On the other hand, marriages with age gap tilted in women's "favor" tend not to last.

Edit:

Some people better than me have pointed out a limitation in 2015 study that the 2009 one did not have:

the 2015 one is compiled based on the sample where at least one spouse was 50 years of age at the beginning of observation.

How significant or not significant it is, is up to debate, considering that 2009 study's average patient's age is 54.5 for men and 49.9 for women.

No-Improvement-8205 · 2022-10-18T08:39:25+00:00

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2211034818302001

Here's a swedish study about how MS increase the risk for men to get divorced. In other words, sweden have a public healthcare system where getting a diagnosis such as MS isnt as taxing on the personal wealth and well being as in the US.

Which could imply that the People talking about divorceing to get social healthcare in some capacity might be on the right track.

I myself have MS, am single and completely understand that it isnt for everyone to live with a partner who have a diagnosis that can change their mood from Day to Day, have their SO in sudden pain that they cant explain, waking up and not be able to do the bare minimum because their MS have choosen to go bananas on their nerves for that Day, the like, it isnt really a "gotcha your gender suck"-moment, its super tough, and honestly if your partner cant handle it, everyone is better off if that partner leaves. And also lets remember not everyone handles their illness in a way that is productive in a relationship, its not uncommon for the relationship to evolve(or devolve) into something more akind to that of a caregiver-Child dynamic, which again can be incredible taxing on the relationship

There's also a significant number of People who want to stay in unhealthy relationships after getting a lifelong diagnosis, because they fear they'll never get another relationship due to their diagnosis or a partner who feels obliged to stay in a relationship with someone who have a lifelong diagnosis, while they're not able to handle it

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-10-18T12:28:23+00:00

Doesn't link the debunked study 😂

HazyMemory7 · 2022-10-18T05:21:07+00:00

Link the study. If it's the study I think you're referring to, that study has already been debunked as misinformation

There was a coding error in the study where they counted people who left the study, as men who left their wives. Women are the ones leaving men. They initiate 70%+ of divorces.

Edit: OP's title is based on an inferior study with a much lower sample size, despite being aware of the newer study. See this comment that details that the percentages in the OP are not accurate.

urukshai3 · 2022-10-18T11:44:22+00:00

Women are less likely to marry disabled and men with health conditions.

Men are more likely to leave disabled women with health conditions.

It all evens out.

Moneydamjan · 2022-10-18T07:16:30+00:00

what percent of women leave when the man becomes broke?

DevilishRogue · 2022-10-18T19:16:47+00:00

I used to think this was true just like you, OP. But it isn't.

I'd suggest reading this quite thorough debunking of the issue:

https://np.reddit.com/r/UnpopularFacts/comments/qnp5qh/the_claim_men_leave_their_sick_spouse_more_is/

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-10-18T14:16:43+00:00

From real world observation of working in medicine. There are men that are very loyal to their wife ,staying by her side. However those are very far in-between.
You see more women with spouse support ,and family support , especially from childern. Men for whatever reason don't understand how they treat a spouse or their childern do affect how their family views them as they age and get sick. Seen alot of lonely men in long term care who have estranged relationships with childern or extended family. Shitty father or husband equals a lonely end of life. Karma comes around harshly.

Abstract_Knight · 2022-10-18T12:09:51+00:00

Did you add the fact that men live 5 years less and how frequently is to men to get injured right?

ClaraBow01 · 2022-10-18T08:46:03+00:00

I feel like looking at this from a financial perspective, because I don’t think that’s why it happens.

New-Context831 · 2022-10-18T05:17:28+00:00

Why would a woman cut her money in half right before he croaks?

Cat_Lover259 · 2022-10-18T06:04:44+00:00

I agree with this! Also, I’ve learned over the past couple of months that if you’re a woman posting something true that men on here don’t want to hear, they downvote SO HARD.

Ludens0 · 2022-10-18T09:18:22+00:00

Nationality of the study? Links?

medlabunicorn · 2022-10-18T12:44:36+00:00

My husband had an old cat when I met him, and a year or two into our relationship the cat developed diabetes. He tested its blood sugar and gave it insulin injections for the rest of its life, and has since insisted on feeding the cats an ultra-low-carb, delivered-by-mail, cat food based on the proportions of nutrients in domestic mice (plus occasional treats). I was coming to terp and MRA fora to learn what red flags to watch out for, but he never showed any, and this was one of many ‘green’ flags that he actually showed.

Exotic-One3381 · 2022-10-18T05:56:08+00:00

Can we move away from the "women want money and assets" and "men are the providers" stereotypes? This is 2022. Only single parent and insta-thots and "I wanna be a famous model or actress or celebrity" types need male providers and rich guys. Average Women without kids have their own careers and income and are more or less equal or even earn more than the male

Few_Ratio5835 · 2022-10-18T05:54:27+00:00

source?

Da_Famous_Anus · 2022-10-18T07:49:51+00:00

I will anecdotally say that without a doubt I was left by a woman when I had a life threatening illness right about the time I was going into surgery to correct it. We weren't married but it was a serious relationship. She jumped ship but she also conveniently left me for another man.

It was very dark to see that I had no one except some family and without that I probably would've had no one.

Women tend to have much more substantial social support systems in general.

I haven't been in a serious relationship since despite the fact that I'm perfectly fine and doing way better in life.

wtknight · 2022-10-18T13:02:19+00:00

Some men are bad apples - probably more than women when it comes to empathy. I’m not sure that this study says anything about men as a whole. There are plenty of decent guys out there who would not leave their wives because of a reason like this.

MissLute · 2022-10-18T05:14:00+00:00

wasn't this study debunked?

Kman17 · 2022-10-18T06:49:03+00:00

Women initiate the majority of divorces, and one of the top predictors is the man losing his job.

Women having a far greater tendency to marry up for financial mobility also explains the delta in this behavior with ill partners: inheritance / life insurance pays out the lower income woman.

Dapper_Art_8269 · 2022-10-18T07:52:01+00:00

Women can't win, can we? No matter what we do it's because we are evil and just want money.

You guys sit deep in "men are wonderful" effect, it's pathetic.

the-lone-squid · 2022-10-18T13:12:42+00:00

Men usually carry much larger life insurance policies. Often close to a million dollars so their family will be ok after they die.

Gotta stay in order to get paid

medlabunicorn · 2022-10-18T13:21:07+00:00

All of the men here going ‘nuh-uh!’ Are you willing to pledge, even in a non-binding Internet forum, that you will not leave your spouses or LTRs if/when they are diagnosed with serious illness?

I pledge that I will not leave my husband if he develops a serious illness, including one that prevents him from working.

How many of you can do the same?

afjje273 · 2022-10-18T05:13:44+00:00

How do you know it's not just because men typically have money and assets and women want to secure them?

Moon-on-my-mind · 2022-10-18T12:12:45+00:00

OP, if this thread doesn't disgust you enough to convince you to be single forever, you have a strong will. You can't come here and dare say bad stuff about males, how dare you? All this place is for is to criticize women, pity and praise males.

AshookaNaga · 2022-10-18T04:25:40+00:00

Aren’t wives much more likely to initiate divorce than husbands? I thought that was a big RP talking point.

Sure men, may leave when wives are sick, including in cases where wives suggest it so he has someone to take care of him, which is a woman’s constant claim so it’s certainly a possibility.

Just like women divorcing men if they’re accused of a crime. Many times divorces are immediately filed, for the sole reason of protecting family assets from lawsuits.

We don’t know the full reason why divorces happen on deathbeds. Maybe if she’s divorced she qualifies for cheap Medicare or something, again, a tactical financial move to protect assets from seizure. Divorce, don’t contest 100% asset transfer. The children won’t starve.

Will you stay married and bankrupt your husband and children because of medical bills?

If any of that is correct, then women bail for all other reasons and men for that specific one, which we don’t know the “why” of.

Many men also marry when they’re near death or dying to leave inheritance or social security to a female friend. Or even visitation rights in a prison.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-10-18T06:35:07+00:00

It's because women get the guys money once he dies.

In the situation where the illness is debilitating but not fatal, women leave more often.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-10-18T05:36:42+00:00

Here’s a question. Does this data track the type of diagnosis?

lliiliiliiillililil · 2022-10-18T06:48:30+00:00

maybe it has something to do with the man paying for the treatment of the illness , or lack of reciprocation on the womans part. many women become insufferable in situations like that for no reason.

no , women should not be dating younger men, because young men do not have the money or experience it takes to lead a family. also women should become mothers in their low 20s based on biology, so a man their age has no way to lead and pay for that.

also, women live longer because their lives are more sheltered. it has always been that way. you cant have a man who has the money and leadership ability of an older man, him being younger and you being younger at the same time. if a man dying earlier is more important than his ability to lead you and the family, you are immature and selfish. you cant have both, its an impossibility

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-10-18T05:40:44+00:00

Yeah probably, and women are more likely to leave men over money issues, so basically the whole sex objects versus success objects with more confirmation🤷‍♂️

sigma1932 · 2022-10-18T10:35:41+00:00

She's hanging on for the Social Security/life insurance payout that men don't really care about because they already built enough for them not to matter.

ciaogoosh · 2022-10-18T10:47:25+00:00

Women goes through huge changes when they get married, become mothers. Body changes after having kids, tighter finances, more chores and caregiving responsibilities. When women have major health issues, she is unable to perform most of these functions and is viewed as 'bringing nothing to the table'.

Men who have been working will have accumulated wealth and have more financial security. Money can pay for external care and housekeeping services.

medlabunicorn · 2022-10-18T12:20:51+00:00

Because caring for people is ‘women’s work.’

SnooBananas8024 · 2022-10-18T12:46:57+00:00

the women probably stay because they see not having sex anymore as a win, vs men see it as a loss.

LetSuitable5665 · 2022-10-18T04:44:00+00:00

This just proves why men want younger women, less likely to die sooner

techr0nin · 2022-10-18T05:52:26+00:00

It’s kind of crazy how often this has to be explained, but the PRIMARY reason men across all ages find young women (physically) attractive is because we have evolved to find health and fertility signals attractive. Human aesthetics isn’t arbitrary and doesn’t come out of nowhere, there’s a reason why we find certain things beautiful. Heck even the socialized aspects of aesthetics have functional roots.

It’s more socially acceptable for men to date younger women because virtually all neuro-typical men have the same physical preferences.

INTP-1 · 2022-10-18T13:25:17+00:00

It’s balanced out by all the men who lose their jobs and therefore lose their wives and family as a result.

Jaeger__85 · 2022-10-18T05:59:55+00:00

And when a man loses his job and isnt able to provide women are much more likely to bail...

vogel777 · 2022-10-18T10:29:31+00:00

This is because many men dehumanise women and see them as a utility to provide sex, comfort and domestic labour. When a woman becomes seriously ill men like this don't think of their wife they just think, oh no the wife bot is busted, time for a new one. If men saw their wives as people and loved them for who they were not what they did fir them this wouldn't happen.

boomershack · 2022-10-18T14:08:55+00:00

Crappy study, Crappy info. Just Crappy.

spinky_bum9451 · 2022-10-18T04:27:52+00:00

Securing commitment from an younger man who she (and countless other women) finds attractive is probably the true insanity-mode of dating. Go for it if you don't value your sanity or are willing (lol) to lower your standards

RootingRound · 2022-10-18T05:45:32+00:00

This suggests that men are more likely to view the marriage as an insurance policy for in-home care in their old age.

Interesting, this is not what I've thought as a very likely suggestion at all.

Rather, men's attraction to women is closely tied to fertility, which gives both health and age as significant predictors.

So my guess would be that debilitating illness is also detrimental to attractiveness, which removes some of the original attractors before the man is prepared for that to be lost. It would make an extra amount of sense if these divorces tended to be in premenopausal women.

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jayval90 · 2022-10-18T14:08:21+00:00

Aren't women a lot less likely to have such an illness while their partner is still alive than a man? My guess is that in terms of raw numbers, it's still more likely that the man falls ill and his wife leaves him than a woman falling ill and her husband leaving him.

CalligrapherMental43 · 2022-10-18T13:38:54+00:00

Just to reply to one part of it: There is nothing weird with men liking younger women. What you are doing is shaming men for their preferences. While for you it's acceptable that women are attracted to tall men for example or men with more experience or a stable life

TryLambda · 2022-10-18T05:41:49+00:00

When were these studies made in the 1950s??? When the wife didn’t work and relied on the husbands income for everything

EaglePill · 2022-10-18T16:32:25+00:00

Lol if age gaps are bad because of the life expectancy argument where the older person will die earlier, then by equating this study to it you're pretty much endorsing the idea that men SHOULD leave their sick wives because she will die earlier than him.

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arcticshqip · 2022-10-18T20:50:41+00:00

I guess they leave their wives because they need a functioning household appliance and sex provider.

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