Getting depressed from lack of sexual experience and loneliness

Subject_Ad_3761 · 2022-07-01T01:09:10+00:00

Try to make some friends and go out to socialize. Try talking to at least 1-3girls a day regardless of looks. It will get you in a habit of socializing with women. Join some events. You said school empty can you go to other places?

Dioniszche · 2022-07-01T01:04:35+00:00

I feel the same bro. But I think it's a good thing you are going to the gym in that time of loneliness. At least with time you'll look better and girls will start paying more attention I guess

MoneyHungeryBunny · 2022-07-01T01:52:47+00:00

It’s hard but I would get out of the house as much as possible!

TechnoGeek423 · 2022-07-01T01:46:59+00:00

I’d really suggest avoiding things that aren’t working and trying something different. ANYTHING different. Fuck, even hanging out with your family would be better than doing what you’re doing.

When I was single and looking in 2007-2009, I spent so much time on Match and e harmony. The vast majority resulted in nothing. If I could go back, I would have spent more of that time with my family.

Frankly I would have had more references from them anyway. Online is good for young attractive women and good looking guys. No one else.

blockfuture · 2022-07-01T02:49:09+00:00

Dating apps overall do more damage to the dating environment. Just don’t use them. You are competing against an abnormal set of men, men who wouldn’t even date the girl you are competing for. For the most part Its a massive wast of time. Meeting people at any activities with social dynamics is the best. Unfortunately this requires a lot of patience. There is nothing wrong with going on holidays to get laid, It’s easier on tours (Contiki etc.) and in general as a foreigner in another country.

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2022-07-01T03:43:32+00:00

Tinder always makes me depressed (until I go to South America). I delete it when I get back for my mental health.

Feeling lonely is OK, but your self worth shouldn't involve your sexual experience. Attraction is complicated, and not based on things that actually matter, that make you you. (For example, "what if we saw souls" and "you can't fuck a personality"). Remembering that helps me.

JalapenoPeanutbutter · 2022-07-01T00:56:25+00:00

Go take a dance class

recyclablebanthas · 2022-07-01T06:20:36+00:00

1

Dating app experience is trash so far and getting shadow-banned, no likes etc, I’m stuck in an empty school for the summer with no car, no social circle as I’m in a new environment...

Being stuck in a college area during summer can suck sometimes because it can feel like it's deserted.

However, being in a new environment is not the issue so much as not realizing what opportunities you have to meet people where you are.

I have been in your position before and there might not be much you can do about it in the complete dead of summer. But I'm willing to bet that there is an avenue you might not have tried:

Go to Facebook
Do a search for [your city] + [a hobby/interest/activity]
Browse the Groups and Events tabs.
For groups, you want to look for those with the most frequent posts.
For events, you can look for something with numbers you like, small or large.

I recommend trying groups or events related to the following:

Social partner dancing: Salsa, West Coast Swing, Lindy Hop, Argentine Tango, etc. Pick up a skill that will expose you to new people and level up your inner game in a number of ways.
Hash house harriers: hide and seek + trail hiking or running, with alcohol optional.
Rock climbing or hiking.

You can also they this kind of search on Google. Some groups just don't have a strong presence on FB.

2

.... days are repetitive consisting of study, gym and Social media. Any advice?

Diversify what you're doing. Try new things. Get outside your comfort zone.

monkey36937 · 2022-07-01T08:42:43+00:00

Study a skill that will make you lots of money, use that gym to build a body that will make the gods Envy of you and go out and talk with people stop being in your head too much.

PaleoPimp · 2022-07-01T02:22:46+00:00

Get off social media...if you're not at your best in life yet then you shouldn't have it because it just makes you feel worse about yourself and it's also useless unless your using for a business.

alexmaycovid · 2022-07-01T06:23:42+00:00

Try to find a part time job. You will have less time to be depressed, you will develop, and probably can earn money for your first car. At least you will have money for your needs

ironmanalex123 · 2022-07-01T08:12:14+00:00

be talkative with people at the gym, not just girls. take it from there. invite them for tea. be around people. don't isolate yourself. find some study buddies if productive. stop going for the approach as if it was a kill you have to make. just open up and have a positive chat.

mfposgbcs · 2022-07-01T03:40:32+00:00

Go to malls, other places where there’s lot of girls and just approach. Approach anywhere and everywhere, the bus stop, at the store, down the street, etc.

spicy_simba · 2022-07-01T08:51:25+00:00

Hi there buddy,

At any stage of life,

If you dont decide what is important in life, anxiety and insecurities will decide it for you,

Dating and sex will not fill this emptyness, this is existential emptyness, it comes from life philosophy and perspective.

For many years i lived in this prison of obsessing about what i didn't have and comparing myself.

What you feel now is a first chapter in a long journey, each journey is different, my journey is about trying uncomfortable things, trying new activities and discovering what i like and what i do not like.

Once you are on your quest, sex and dating will matter much less.

Cheers.

whiplash81 · 2022-07-01T14:24:26+00:00

The hard advice is that getting sex won't address all of your issues. Be willing to improve your mental health by talking to a therapist.

Getting your mental health in order will do wonders for every part of your life, including socializing and getting laid.

Both-Roof8394 · 2022-07-01T15:13:42+00:00

Look, dude. You're in a building phase right now. You're studying for school. Focus on that. You should be putting all of your energy into your goals. Once you have your career and have accumulated some assets that is when you can finally start looking for girls. Most girls won't look your way if you aren't already established. Work on saving for a car. Get a cool motorcycle. Make your life enjoyable.

It's ok to have sex and hook up with women. But don't go looking for it. The best experiences I've had was when I was just having fun on my own at a club and not worrying about an outcome. I've had women fall into my lap before. The key is to put yourself in situations where you can be approached or around girls.

August__000 · 2022-07-01T02:15:03+00:00

This is an opportunity to create the day you want, to be who you want to be. Turn off your phone and listen to your thoughts everyday, take notes on everything that you do and understand why.

What you have in your head is what being lonely feels like, loliness doesn't exist is an abstraction, there something missing in you that you are desperate looking to people that can fulfill that, if you fill the void yourself then why would you want some random girl messing up with the flow of your day, yes the same one you put effort in creating.

In this point of this moment in my life at least girls are a drag to my legacy, I rather die knowing that I felt awesome without anyone else by me. Everything else is joy of life that you cab accept or not, a partner someone that provides something that you don't have, that is pleasurable but that don't fill your insecurities. So enjoy being bored because if you don't set your priorities on day to day then the rest of the world will.

Aoj

troymcghee · 2022-07-01T01:37:04+00:00

join jiu jitsu

Fate-in-haze · 2022-07-01T01:04:17+00:00

Check out Dr Nerdlove's books and blog.

wj2smooth · 2022-07-01T02:52:43+00:00

Pick up a hobby my guy, instrument, sport, dance class, something out of the ordinary

Fluffy_Risk9955 · 2022-07-01T08:44:09+00:00

Chasing women won't work in this state of mind. You're not shadow banned girls are simply not swiping right you.

Bring the fun back in your life and go do some fun shit with other men.

RightTrack44 · 2022-07-01T09:08:03+00:00

It sounds like you’re using temporary women to fill voids. These apps aren’t going to fix this right now

Captain_w00t · 2022-07-01T09:26:00+00:00

Sometimes it might be hard, but rather than relying on social media, I’d suggest you to read some book (whatever), learn a new skill (a music instrument? drawing?).

Also going out alone in venues/activities you enjoy might offer opportunities to build a social circle with people who enjoys that venue/activity (demographic might vary depending on this).

If you don’t know where to start, go on something random, after all not doing nothing is a hopeless waste of time anyway. Try random things until you find the one that fits best.

2022-07-01T17:18:06+00:00

If you’re going to be in college next year, maybe start by riding a bike to your nearest library. Get into the habit of reading amazingly interesting books. While you spend time there it might be that you get the chance to be social with other pp. good luck and keep your head high. Youth it’s on your side! 🙏🏽

thebigfishstick17 · 2022-07-01T02:52:05+00:00

Get off the apps and use this time to work on yourself and build your foundation. Girls take away time and resources that you could be using on yourself. Use the time to find yourself and what you like to do. But still try and find groups that will allow you to practice your game and social skills. All the money and looks in the world won’t matter if you don’t have the game to back it up.

Kitchen_Entertainer9 · 2022-07-01T06:25:12+00:00

All these comments are the same. Have you got any good ideas or plans from them?

Basically get out of your comfort zone and make friends is what they are saying.

merkatronmega01 · 2022-07-01T02:28:24+00:00

In the same boat bro you not alone, if you like basketball play pick up games meet people, you never know what doors can be open

revente · 2022-07-01T09:58:13+00:00

Make friends. Keep approaching people whenever you encounter them. At the gym. Look online for some events like concerts or classes in your neigbourhood.

DoublecQ · 2022-07-01T14:47:58+00:00

Use an app called Meetup (it’s not mainly a dating app. You can read about it)

Thank me later 👍

ZoeticLark · 2022-07-01T14:49:38+00:00

Dont use dating apps. Everything you feel is part of a bigger trend thats been happening since social media and dating apps replaced real life exchanges and vulnerability. My advice, get into volunteering, community classes or workshops and other activities thay have you directly interacting with people. You may not find a partner right away but you will feel more fulfilled and you will stay socialized. Social media and dating apps have an anti social influence on our normal human social skills. It's a known fact and it's a leading cause of suicide among the youngest population. If a pharmaceutical drug did as much damage as social media has it would be pulled from the market without question. Also, don't force yourself to talk to anyone that you're not comfortable talking to. You don't need to go and talk to 3 people everyday unless you feel something alive in you and you want to. Being involved in group activities will just give you more opportunities to practice that for when the time is right and then you can make new friends with ease.

OldEdgeyRiff · 2022-07-01T16:32:12+00:00

Find things that you enjoy doing…look for ways to share that interest in groups of like minded folks…the other will follow…

DaddysPrincesss26 · 2022-07-02T00:52:49+00:00

If you have the Eventbrite App, download it on your Phone (It’s Free) and put in your city. They have a ton of Free Events for Students and Such!

furious6ix · 2022-07-01T03:33:50+00:00

Trust god and work on yourself bro, thats all you can and have to do.

Otec_Fedor · 2022-07-01T01:12:07+00:00

Borrow as much as possible and move to the Philippines

Only_Commercial_774 · 2022-07-01T06:06:36+00:00

Work on yourself but start with ugly girls and climb the ladder

Local-Flounder-9918 · 2022-07-01T08:43:42+00:00

Go camping for weekend and know what and where do you wanna see yourself in the next 1/2/3/4/5 years and set up a plan Even say it to some friends if there willing to be part of it I'm just saying being lonely is a very very normal feeling as a guy nowadays specially if you're not faking friendships or telling ppl what they wanna hear and all that fake stuff So yeah plan on making money

Ebolax6 · 2022-07-01T00:53:17+00:00

Join some meet up groups? If none exist, create one.

shxbxx · 2022-07-01T03:15:04+00:00

alone

hoothoot6996 · 2022-07-01T06:29:20+00:00

Nah bro just get promoted and fuck the lower enlisted. Be a Soldier!

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-07-01T06:45:09+00:00

Don’t take the advice of literally moving to another country to get women. It’s such a cop out.

BrotherAgitated · 2022-07-01T09:01:58+00:00

Move to Europe. No car is no problem. Peace ✌️

sumimigaquatchi · 2022-07-01T09:23:40+00:00

How old are you?

Previous_Shake_9484 · 2022-07-01T10:17:52+00:00

When I read the words gym, confidence, self esteem, my stomach immediately hurts.

Tsjaad_Donderlul · 2022-07-01T11:10:06+00:00

Do not engage in group activities for the sake of meeting people, this almost always doesn't work or backfires.

Sterndaddy13 · 2022-07-01T11:33:49+00:00

Sounds like you need a tutor

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-07-01T16:24:53+00:00

Get a job maybe? Dave money to buy a car?

yyuyuyu2012 · 2022-07-01T18:24:28+00:00

Welcome to the party. Jager bowl is on the right. Enjoy your stay!

MentalCelOmega · 2022-07-01T18:36:19+00:00

I was feeling what you feel a couple years ago. The best I can say is try to find some copes. Eventually, you'll learn to accept your fate.

Hotzenplotzklotz · 2022-07-01T19:10:30+00:00

sometimes it needs time, to find the perfect fit....better later than to get hurt from early demaging experiences...

LifeSucksAss1234 · 2022-07-02T00:22:13+00:00

I know how you feel ❤️

Professional-Ad676 · 2022-07-02T07:02:14+00:00

honestly bro, just learn to accept it.

you won't have pussy available to you at all times, and that's ok. there's more to life than pussy.

i'm all for working on your social skills and meeting women etc... but what i came to realize is pussy is not that important. and you can love yourself without it

jayjonas1996 · 2022-07-03T19:49:15+00:00

I's difficult man, I'm trying so hard and talk to lots of girls on campus here during summer and everywhere outside I go like malls etc, but no one seem to show interest.

Then I read some stuff on r/gonewildstories and feel like they are on a different planet, watching everyone get some experience and result I feel like I'm cursed or something. I'm aware that this is a common feeling to have when you got no experience, it won't be same when we start getting result so I keep reading materials, keep doing small talk to get comfortable and then slowly learn to escalate and keep working out.

CheesecakeMain5003 · 2022-07-01T04:53:54+00:00

Hard time bring new opportunities, you can learn a new skill? A skill that will bring you further in life.

h7hh77 · 2022-07-01T05:06:20+00:00

Really, focus on self improvement. Gym is great, read some surface level knowledge in many areas, learn psychology, cold reading, watch stand ups, develop your clothing style, etc. Get good photos in apps, I mean either get a photographer, or learn how to take photos properly yourself. Learn how to be more social and how to aproach people, how to lead the conversation, how to tell engaging stories. Oh, and stop giving a shit about the outcome, just focus on having a good time. That's all I've got.

Think_History_5682 · 2022-07-01T15:02:43+00:00

Holy crap

I can solve this problem for you easily

Go online buy a plane ticket ticket to Thailand once there I recommend taking a cab to Pattaya 3 hrs about 50 bucks when I did it book hotel as close to walking st as possible . Spend 2 weeks there

You will see a huge difference in your desirability.

Bc these women have different values.. You will have so much sex you will get bored with it. You will be spoiled for choice. The best part is the girls over there do all the work and all you have to do is judge which one you want!!! It's a complete reversal to the US. Here women do nothing in dating except judge... You will have to pay. For things .. But it's super cheap there for everything a nice hotel was under 100 a night when I went I only paid 30 a night for an awesome hotel.

No girls there suffer from obesity and they're all cute

Will it cost you money? Probably, but most of the girls would jump at the chance to come home with you just bc over there you are a rich westerner they don't care what you look like really

It will change your life you can get girls easily drink when you want have sex when you want

Knowing that option is always there for you changes your outlook on life. You start to see all privilege and entitlement that western women have and they will become less desireable

The critical thing to remember do not under any circumstances give out your contact info out or bring any girls info home with you. Do not friend them on social media either. The temptation to have a LDR will be too great and it's a terrible idea, I repeat, a terrible idea!!!

You are going there for the sole purpose of getting all of those negative feelings banged out of you..

Worked like a charm for me..

If you end up wanting a wife... Get one from the Caribbean Brazil or another Latin country.. The culture language barrier is way easier to deal with.

neoda1 · 2022-07-01T03:48:57+00:00

Sound young.

Kevin26039898 · 2022-07-01T04:20:16+00:00

Read models Find a jobs Stop using social media too much . learn new skills and focus on your career Girls will come later

Pbrady22 · 2022-07-01T02:49:58+00:00

Study hard get a good job make money and girls will flock

GeeseCTM · 2022-07-01T01:49:28+00:00

Yeah dating apps are for male simps who are willing to settle for fives.

If you want to get good at social interaction you have to go and start becoming a social animal. I saw someone say take a dance class, you could also take a yoga class, you could also spend more time at a coffee shop doing your homework after the gym, and noticing the people around and chatting them up, you can walk around places, real quick to grab one thing like a trader Joe's or a Whole Foods and take maybe a half hour to buy a bottle of soda or a bag of chips that cost a dollar or if you got more money do some shopping. And don't hesitate to ask girls about what they recommend for the bag of spinach that you want to buy, or what kind of wine she recommends if you have a girl coming to dinner for fish and asparagus.

Also go somewhere that is not quite where your school is, maybe where people don't know you as well but within a reasonable distance, and spend some time approaching random women.

Here's the truth, dude. You're hero and you don't even know it. You being here, and posting about how you want to meet more women, and you want to improve your ability to do so, is the last Sebastian of manliness left on the planet.

Society has been overrun by a majority of beta males, weaklings, simps, cowards, lgbtqlmnop+-? gender benders and it's up to us men who actually give a shit about becoming masculine to save humanity and I'm not even joking.

So chin up, lad. Women NEED men like us to get in there and mix it up. You know that only fans chicks you see flaunting their sexually left right and center and literally shouting every chance they get to everyone about how they're Sex Workers or Sex this or Sex that?

They're doing that because every one of them are sexually unsatisfied. They sleep with their beta male friends, who are about as exciting in the sack as mildew in the cracks of a shower, and so they are literally begging to have an alpha male come along and seduce them, and give them a night of mind numbing sex... Not only that, find a mate, who helps them feel satisfied and want to calm down with all that weirdness.

Example, and I may have people hate me for this, but I don't care...

Alexandria Ocasio Cortez - January 6th 2020, she was all over the news networks stating that she was afraid not only that she was going to be attacked by alpha male Trump supporters, but couldn't help but project freudian style her fantasy of what she wanted to happen.

She was on the news, when no one was even near the building she was at, talking about how she was worried she was going to have someone break in and ravage her sexually.

She wasn't worried - she was expressing her fantasy in a damaged way. She's another example of a sexually frustrated woman. Her mind took a situation where no one was threatening her and went all the way to her thinking about how she was going to have some rape fantasy in her mind and then she blamed people who weren't even there for HER IMAGINATION. People who were non-existent.

I'm definitely not saying rape people. Never do that. I've had to sex, consensual, sex with more women that I can count... Never ever even got close to rape as a matter of fact, for me the reward was having them give themselves to me sexually. I wanted pure full on seduction. I even would position myself every time a woman was at my house, so that my back was to the wall and her chair or part of the couch or wherever she was sitting had easy access to the door which was always open to send her the message you're safe. If you want to bolt anytime you can leave and no big deal. I've even been right in the middle of foreplay, having a girl say she wanted me to be inside of her but then kept saying no and then yes and then no, I've had strippers at my house completely s***-faced and drunk, demanding I sleep with them, and abstained because it wasn't right...

But my point is, when you take a girl like AOC who's sexually unsatisfied and just married the most beta, low testosterone weakling male that you can imagine... I mean there's nothing manly about the guy at all... What happens is she starts projecting her own desires, whether that be in a healthy way or an unhealthy way, out to the world around her.

And she is basically like the flagship of an entire generation of sexually unsatisfied women.

So what's my point after all this rambling? We got work to do. You be proud of yourself, man up, get in the trenches and win one for team male!

EloteSalvaje · 2022-07-01T01:57:48+00:00

Get a job.

CHEREP · 2022-07-01T05:59:30+00:00

It gets better!!!

Majestic_Meal_5655 · 2022-07-01T15:23:41+00:00

It's time to pay a sex worker to do the job bro.

blackyounglost · 2022-07-01T01:00:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

cronasminate · 2022-07-01T03:10:11+00:00

How do you get shadow banned from a dating app?

Spectre_ITM · 2022-07-01T06:24:36+00:00

Remove your bra , we men love that. It's definitely a sign he won't ignore.

putcoolusernamehere · 2022-07-01T13:54:14+00:00

Find a hobby.

Drive to areas with a higher volume of women and cold approach.

H8beingmale · 2022-07-01T15:08:29+00:00

are you a virgin or been on a long dryspell?

Sharp_Measurement985 · 2022-07-01T18:01:01+00:00

Go to a club/bar?

obasmeme · 2022-07-01T22:03:42+00:00

Stay in gym

nmelin · 2022-07-02T00:39:12+00:00

I'm in the exact same boat bro

Title	Getting depressed from lack of sexual experience and loneliness
Author	blackyounglost
Upvotes	386
Comments	236
Date	July 1, 2022 12:49 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vonpp3/getting_depressed_from_lack_of_sexual_experience/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/getting-depressed-from-lack-of-sexual-experience.1255611 https://theredarchive.com/post/1255611

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