I was told I have "no game"

mountaindude78 · 2021-08-23T20:22:53+00:00

Who gives a fuck what she says.

We did hookup,

All that matters my boy

The0rangeKind · 2021-08-23T23:58:36+00:00

that sounds like a shit test and it sounds like you failed at keeping cool over it. of course i wasn’t there to see her face but i would bet she saw your reaction and mannerisms after saying it and you gave her power

Birch_T · 2021-08-23T20:09:52+00:00

For a guy who has not game, you're doing alright. You picked up a woman at a bar and hooked up a couple weeks later. Are you sure you need to change?

Rude-Kaleidoscope-58 · 2021-08-23T20:37:41+00:00

"But I didn't need game to hookup with you" => instant cocky moment

Rtdigital · 2021-08-23T23:10:37+00:00

I have to say.. any woman that utters those words is not worth your time. Move the hell on. Think nothing on it at all.

Particular_Visual531 · 2021-08-24T02:52:01+00:00

Having game is all about doing what you want, when you want. You want to emulate a high status male. Think about it, if a girl was to meet a rock star, or billionaire tech dude, he would be comfortably in charge, he would do what he wants and invite her along. He would joke and tease while basically saying what he wanted to. He wouldn't worry about her, because there are literally 100 other women waiting their turn. If you act like that they will assume you are that high social status male. Work on things like jokes when women ask what you do instead of telling them a straight answer. Be positive and cool, but learn to not care. Hang out in a bar and when you make eye contact with a woman, stare a split second too long ,then either never look again or go right over and talk to her, immediately. You are either bold and fearless about the encounter or you dont care about her and a possible encounter. If you bump into her later then you can chat with her.

Basic things you should do:

1) workout, lift heavy weights, don't have to get huge but it puts your body in the right place

2) be the alpha, not some arrogant asshole, but instead the guy that's nice to everyone and helps everyone genuinely, and stands up for the little guy/the old lady etc. Say hi to everyone, learn their name, tip graciously. It will help with your social skills. Talk to everyone when you're at the party or bar, not just the girl you like. Cheer everyone on in their best life and opportunities. Then when the cute girl at the party asks a friend about you, you get automatic bonus points.

3) Figure you out and be working towards your passion. if tech is your love, are you working to be the best in your company, want to start your own startup? what ever it is, everyday start building toward it, have a plan for it, be able to articulate that at the right times and be fearless in striving for it. You can do all this while working for someone else right now. But you should know what your life's passion is and how you plan to get there.

4)Date alot, the more you date the more confident you'll be with women. you'll also develop your own tricks. But you will be confident with each date because if this date doesn't work out, the date you have tomorrow will. Huge confidence booster and helps you relax and be in charge. On dates you should be her knight in shining armor. Meaning be strong and in charge, act like a man, act like you're dating her, but be comfortable enough that you can laugh and tease and have a great time. Touch her early and often, but appropriately, to build chemistry.

Good luck, if you want more specific advice DM me, I help guys all the time to be their best self.

1master_dom · 2021-08-23T22:10:38+00:00

She likely means you have no smoothness in escalating sexually. Meaning she either saw your moves coming or had to prompt you, either way, she saw you had enough potential to sleep with you.

earsurgery9 · 2021-08-23T20:37:23+00:00

you banged her though. So you do have game. And if you don't have game and she's right who cares - you still banged her lol (so game is basically irrelevant if a girl is attracted to you. Don't worry about it)

MrDownhillRacer · 2021-08-23T21:00:35+00:00

Obvious shit test. I mean, you slept with her, didn't you?

She was just teasing you/giving you a backhanded compliment to see how you'd react. The correct response would be to laugh it off; agree/amplify and say something like, "I pride myself on being the most chaste and modest choir boy in the congregation."

Actually, make a joke less autistic than mine, but something along those lines.

Gordon101 · 2021-08-23T20:14:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

burncushlikewood · 2021-08-24T01:37:23+00:00

People saying you got the girl that's all that counts, but if you want to develop "game" I would start reading some manosphere material, I know some really good authors, you can also watch YouTube videos to learn how to game, then do some approaches and work on it. Keep a journal highlighting your interactions positive or negative, some great guys I've learned from are vin dicarlo and Richard la ruina, both Italian guys cause Italian guys are players so, best of luck to you dawg

anxiouspotter · 2021-08-24T02:00:44+00:00

Hi, 22F here, every girl prefers a different type of 'game' with guys. For example, I do NOT like when guys come on strong or 'bad boy' like you mentioned earlier in the comments. But that is simply my personal preference, whereas someone else might love when a guy comes on strongly and 'spitting game' at her. And btw, you hooked up anyways, so you obviously didn't mess up too much. It was ballsy of her to say that to you imo because she slept with you lol, so you wood her somehow.

Moral of the story, keep being you!! There will be some who don't appreciate it, and some who are really into who you are. That's just how the world works, you got this :)

edit: changed my wording

heisenbergsayschill · 2021-08-24T02:38:46+00:00

Being a nice guy isn’t a bag thing if you’re confident and know who you are. Just relax and be yourself.

Optionsmfd · 2021-08-23T23:58:00+00:00

so she admitted her slut factor is 10 when a man needs no game to score

u go in raw?

chuckvsthelife · 2021-08-24T06:25:20+00:00

The difference between being a nice guy and a good guy is all that matters here. A nice guy says nice things for hopes it gets him something. It reeks of desperation and is not genuine.

A good guy says nice things because he believes them. That’s all. A good guy also isn’t afraid to say something that people might not like because he is genuine. If they don’t like him they don’t like him. That’s all there is. If you get upset when people disagree with you, then you are also not being a genuine good guy. You are you and let what comes from that come from it

Coming from another guy whose been told he has no “game”. I don’t say things to people in the hopes they will sleep with me. I form natural connections with people. It’s much better.

pikecat · 2021-08-24T08:42:57+00:00

Be confident, a bit cocky even. Don't care, be strong. Don't think in your head, about yourself. Focus on and think about those around you. I changed to that at about 27, but it took lots of practice, but with practice all of the right words were coming out of my mouth before I knew what they were. But you have to talk a long time to get there. Probably varies by person. Some people have always talked without thinking.

You lose self reflection, caring, but girls are attracted to you. But wait, a girl already approached you, what do you need help with? When she criticized you, you needed a quick comeback criticism of her, smart alec, not a downer.

Just talk to strangers as much as possible, done with confidence better words will come out and your demeanor will start to exude confidence if it doesn't already. Your demeanor is very important and people never talk about it. You show yourself before you say a single word.

Mariuslol · 2021-08-24T03:54:56+00:00

im super introverted and not very good with girls in general. But im bipolar, so when im on a high, im amazing with all people. And then I sometimes write down stuff i did and said. And it feels like, I just find spots to be witty everywhere, and i often talk in a way that i talk about things i REALLY find interesting, and I always seem to find the humor in the other person. If you look people in their eyes, and face, u dont get that nervous, and then ur body calibrates itself for how to act and talk. And if you're having fun regardless, other people like it aswell. Lke here the other day, i like a cashier, i was feeling great. I bought a pink/violet toothbrush. And i iproudly showed it to her, asked "You see the color" and i wave it, and she nods and smirks. And i go "it's to match my sparkling personality!!" thats something i never say, or planned to say, it just came out cos i was feeling confident. She burst out laughing, next thing i said OMG, WE HAVE TO WATCH NETFLIX TOGETHER OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT!! She laughed again, said I would, but showed me ring on her finger, and i instantly replied with "but ive read that all girls, secretly always wants an upgrade!!" and i tried to pump some air into my lungs to look a little bigger. She commented, are you trying to look bigger?? And i let out some air, like im struggling to keep it in "Yeah i guess, but it doesnt seem to have the effect i was hoping for lol". And then i just changed the topic to something non flirty, dont want to be a douche.

You dont have to "hardcore" talk about what u want to talk about or hobbies or passion, with most people u get a good sense of where they are at, and u can get "pretty close!"

I really feel, the best interactions is when one or both are really authentic, tongue in cheek, showing some vulnerability, and not "fake" ur tone of voice has to match ur gestures and body language, so dont put up an act, or anything like that. Do you, cos u know how to do you the best

eszibit · 2021-08-24T05:31:19+00:00

Most of these comments are idiotic, i know i'm gonna get downvoted but i don't really care. I'm here to answer your question "Can somebody guide me on how to develop this "game"? "

It can be a shit test for sure, but given the fact that 1. she approached you and 2. "I was never good at non-monogomous casual hookups or FWB type of setups. All my past intimate relationships were serious and semi-serious long term relationships." then we can conclude she was pretty spot on. It's not a serious thing, it's not a bad thing, just something you can work on.

So as far as answering the question, game is basically making someone feel comfortable with you while making things sexual in a pleasant manner. That's it. That's how a lot of not so good looking guys get girls ( me included ) by accepting who you are AND being a good/interesting person at the same time -> that makes the girl feel comfortable and the 2nd step to start touching her or implying sexual things or making sexual jokes. I always recommend Mark Manson's Models , best book on the subject, would clear up a lot of things for you.

Also, getting hit on like that i guess you look pretty good, so congrats on that you lucky bastard.

Underrated_Prince · 2021-08-24T08:09:06+00:00

You should have applied the triple A method [Agree And Amplify ]

Be like year you not the first to say that but if I'm that bad we wouldnt be here now would we

Agree to what she says and amplify it that's how you pass a shit test

Kyrkrim · 2021-08-24T10:09:51+00:00

Honestly I think "game" is bullshit. The idea of it is overrated and gratuitous. Plus it's undefined. What exactly is "game"?

Fun, comfortable, and inviting is all you really have to be.

kjackrel · 2021-08-24T03:09:59+00:00

Don't be an asshole be yourself, fuck that asshole wins chicks mentality, it's never good long term

TheRealAlkemyst · 2021-08-24T03:51:51+00:00

I don't even know how this conversation would have come up unless you were really trying to have 'game'. She was probably horny AF and you were there (hopefully not talking about your ex).

Game is not about age nor job, game is about making your partner excited, happy, laughing, etc. Game is not about walking up to someone and saying "Hey, this ain't going to suck itself!" or "DAMN GIRL, that's a damn fine ass!". While these things can work, it's a limited market. Game is really about being that guy the woman (or partner) you want is now focused on.

I have been fat, fit, rich, poor; but can always meet women that are great. The #1 thing is love yourself first and think you are the best without being a braggart; it's not about you in this it's about them. Make them feel special, focus on what they say. Never tell them "Hey, I think you are moving too fast!". Don't be a white knight; women love sex too don't make them feel guilty about it. Be honest - I have used the line "whatever happens, happens. As long as we both are having fun and are respectful of each other nothing else should matter."

Don't ask about who they have been with, protect yourself if you have doubts. Don't try to brag that you have been with XXX chicks, that doesn't go well usually.

In the end "Game" is also a 50:50 ratio of you and them. Someone's A game to a woman maybe someone's "I am calling 911 and filing a restraining order" to others. Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt have been rejected just like Salma Hayek and Monica Belluci even at times probably all were half naked or more.

DakiAge · 2021-08-24T11:24:21+00:00

Just follow this sub and you will figure it out.

"Nice guy" means you did things to impress her and didn't be yourself.

for example, if she says "I like guys who listen to classical music" but you don't, you shouldn't say "I lıke it too".

you shouldn't care about her but care about yourself.

that's how you become a "bad guy" and have a "game".

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2021-08-23T22:28:35+00:00

Lol who gives a fuck. Game is overrated. You develop game and then dont know how to be yourself

Noigah · 2021-08-23T20:12:26+00:00

Imo, the more you get you will eventually create a higher percentage of people that think you have “game” but actually you’re not that interested in them because you, are interested in other people with higher “game”

wallynext · 2021-08-23T21:14:38+00:00

Are you sure what this girl meant wasn’t “I like people that play games, and you don’t play games”?

sh1ftyswar · 2021-08-23T23:26:50+00:00

Same here, that's how I found mine. Don't let it get you down.

throwMeAwayTa · 2021-08-23T23:37:35+00:00

Do you have game?

As someone that didn't at 27 and 13 years later has numerous dates over the last few years since my last relationship where the results are typically "great guy, feeling a friends vibe"....

It may not be she's a bitch, but actually offering you some very useful advice if you want to attract women who aren't specifically going to make an effort to seduce you. (I'm pretty good at messing these up too, to be fair.)

krispykreme01 · 2021-08-24T00:36:19+00:00

Trial by combat or

Learn from an expert find a buddy who is good with women learn some tactics.

User_1421 · 2021-08-24T01:40:52+00:00

Your game was so smooth/casual you hooked up that night and she didnt even realize you were doing your game.

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2021-08-24T02:06:33+00:00

Actions - You hooked up.

Her words - U got no game

Watch actions. Not words

Ps: snd that was just a shit test you didn’t pass. Next time give confident-fair reply “even tho i pulled your pants down;)”. And no matter what she replies, laugh about it and change the topic

Legal_Ranch · 2021-08-24T02:39:27+00:00

Why are you believing her?

MO_drps_knwldg · 2021-08-24T05:26:26+00:00

Response: “I like to be myself and don’t really care if people think I have game or not”

Or

“Well, I had enough game to sleep with you…”

Suspicious_Loan8041 · 2021-08-24T12:21:50+00:00

Well don’t feel bad. She criticized you. Don’t let it bump you out. Accept it, apply it, and work on it.

featherlitelo · 2021-08-24T13:16:04+00:00

Don’t ever stop being the nice guy. But do constantly check in with yourself to make sure you’re not bending over backwards saying and doing things that are untrue to yourself just to ingratiate yourself to a person you’re interested in. People confuse nice with pushover and they’re not the same.

BigFunnyBigMoney · 2021-08-24T16:55:02+00:00

Don’t let her get in your head bro

a_curious_boi · 2021-08-24T19:26:25+00:00

lol but u still fucked

Joker_RH · 2021-08-24T22:18:02+00:00

She said that after fucking you? Lol she probably meant it in terms of you being inexperienced at pickup compared to standards in her mind. Stupid thing to say tho especially yall fucked already

Armybert · 2021-08-24T00:51:11+00:00

You dodged a bullet, she has that attitude of ‘you should impress/entertain me/earn me. Dance monkey, dance!’

Sweatygun · 2021-08-23T22:20:12+00:00

Doesn’t matter, had sex.

TiNyUzi · 2021-08-23T23:11:22+00:00

Still smashed 🤷🏽‍♂️

Undercovermother19 · 2021-08-24T04:13:11+00:00

You already got the goods!! lol Now, whenever she messages you just leave the message on read and show her who is the nice guy!!

Appropriate_Ad3327 · 2021-08-23T21:09:35+00:00

How tall are you? Being tall makes everything easier

SkiupBaeless · 2021-08-23T21:49:58+00:00

so she lets you fuck her then has the audacity to say you’re not man enough for her? You don’t need to stoop to anyone’s level just be you and the game(confidence, vulnerability) will come later. You could be the perfect peach but there’ll always be someone out there who doesn’t like peaches.

truthfully I don’t believe in “game” as we’d like to think of it. Sure, they’re men out there who do have a way with words and are incredibly suave but even those men get rejected. they’re also men out there with the personality of a doorknob who can get fucked . What i’m trying to say is, you’re not everybody’s type and the only thing you can do to truly improve your game is improve yourself. Communicating clearer, taking care of yourself, and developing a lifestyle or habits that are inviting to others

congrats on the fuck keep doing what u doin

DunionKnight · 2021-08-23T20:32:12+00:00

First off. Congratulations on the lay. It’s important you recognize that you have intrinsic worth. There are good looking guys who are nice to look at but have no game whatsoever. Yet still get by on their looks.

Everybody has game. Whether it’s high or low level. Because some guys have such bad game that they could have been approached like you yet do enough things wrong to turn away a girl with high buying temperature. Perspective is important.

It may be the case that you don’t know how to embody certain traits and characteristics of the nice guy’s antithesis. That things were going so well that you stopped paying attention and reverted back to your default. Not an uncommon thing who hasn’t ingrained certain behaviors ideal for a situation like this. Because it’s an experience for women. She might have expected the bad boy experience and had something else.

There is not good or bad. Only facts. The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.

Pitchiker · 2021-08-23T23:25:18+00:00

Maybe it was a shit test ?

2021-08-24T00:14:11+00:00

I find it odd a woman describing game.

vze1fm8gn · 2021-08-24T00:27:16+00:00

Dude you are among top 1% 😎

etherealromance · 2021-08-24T01:25:28+00:00

Hey man, Glad you’re committed to improving yourself. There are subtle nuances that you’re not aware of. The main thing to consider is, if you have no ‘game’ you essentially didn’t make her FEEL anything. Or at least not strong emotions. You may also be stuck in your head. Your logical side may be more prominent especially because of your profession. If you want to jump on a call I can give you more elaborate advice -Bobby

Ok_Worldliness_6657 · 2021-08-24T02:05:49+00:00

Ur prolly not gonna develop game ur more of a one woman man. If u tried being a player it prolly wouldn’t feel right. Stay true to urself don’t be a man whore

BadAssBrenno · 2021-08-24T02:08:32+00:00

Hey mate. Checkout The Natural Lifestyles on YouTube. Their focus is not really on being a pick up artist, more so on the male mindset.

michelenedawn · 2021-08-24T02:40:26+00:00

Be the nice guy! The right woman will love it. Trust me!

pp604977 · 2021-08-24T03:02:34+00:00

Read “no more mr nice guy” and improve your game (in your case no-game haha). The book is about being authentic, so I think you are already a step ahead in my opinion.

mrrooftops · 2021-08-24T03:05:58+00:00

All things being equal, the majority of all women have worse game than the majority of all men. Because they don't need it as much, but the observation still stands.

Specialist-Kick-1387 · 2021-08-24T03:10:35+00:00

She could be likely teasing you, getting a rise out of you. Ignore it, and reply "I guess nice guys finish first sometimes" ;)

Gordon101 · 2021-08-24T03:14:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

OwYouHitMeInMyWienew · 2021-08-24T03:14:44+00:00

Show her your Nintendo Switch and call her a liar

memyselfand3rdleg · 2021-08-24T04:39:00+00:00

A girl will never tell you the truth that you have game and that your smooth. You have it she just won't admit it.

recyclablebanthas · 2021-08-24T05:02:37+00:00

So, this past weekend I hooked up with this girl I met at a bar a couple weeks ago. I thought everything was well and stuff. We did hookup, but later on she admitted that I don't have "the game" and I'm a nice guy, and "that's okay".

Just a couple small questions:

You guys hooked up. Does that mean that you had sex or just made out?
Were you doing anything that would amount to you putting yourself out too much or mortgaging your self-respect?
Like what nice things were you actually doing?
How did you meet this girl exactly? Who opened who and what did they say? How did the first conversation go?
How did you end up hooking up with her? How did you close? Whose place did you end up at?

I'd like to step my "game" and not be the "nice guy"

Just because this woman, who coincidentally slept with you, said you don't have game and that you were a nice guy, doesn't mean that either one of these things are true.

We need to parse out what actually happened before we can definitively say whether she had a point or whether she was just saying something to make herself feel better. Both of which are possibilities at this point.

pablodiablo906 · 2021-08-24T06:45:37+00:00

Have developed game? If you’ve never tried to develop game why are you upset or sad that you may not have any? Is game something you want or need in your life?

anotherburner77 · 2021-08-24T06:52:49+00:00

the fact that you got the hookup shows you have game. who cares what she thinks after you’ve smashed tbh, W OP

rudebwoy100 · 2021-08-24T07:18:25+00:00

You hooked up with a girl casually, sounds like you have some game to me.

mrpthrowa · 2021-08-24T07:53:31+00:00

"What's game?"

mmello_ · 2021-08-24T09:56:19+00:00

Doesn’t matter had sex

AussieBrooks · 2021-08-24T11:03:41+00:00

When a girl says you have no game, it just means she wasn’t vining good with you

SwimmingTheory · 2021-08-24T11:08:19+00:00

She was just trying to make herself feel superior to you even though you hooked up with her. It’s a shaming tactic women use to justify what happened. Don’t feel bad about it.

Shakespeare-Bot · 2021-08-24T11:45:52+00:00

Stop listening to her words and listen to her actions

FrenchHouseFan · 2021-08-24T12:12:43+00:00

Proper response is “still beat tho”

TrainingNail · 2021-08-24T13:00:21+00:00

Well if you two fucked, what's the matter with being a nice guy? You're making a fuss over nothing

McPoyal · 2021-08-24T13:06:27+00:00

Yeah dude ...just keep doin what you're doing..if it's getting you laid who cares what they don't like about your game style lol. Obviously ..it worked.

Maybe ask her for some tips but honestly she's probably just having some buyers remorse...maybe fuck the next one better? Ya know...make her cum a few times.

blackohat · 2021-08-24T13:11:43+00:00

Read the book “No More Mr Nice Guy”

Silentgurl-23 · 2021-08-24T13:15:43+00:00

You do have the game . I mean you guys hooked up lol . What else she wants lol

astontj85 · 2021-08-24T14:40:53+00:00

She is "shit testing" you and your insecurities our showing

OriginalPostrSociety · 2021-08-24T14:47:18+00:00

Sounds like a compliment. She fucked you so she doesn’t mean nice guy in the bad way you’re thinking of. She’s trying to say it’s refreshing to be with a guy who isn’t a fuckboy.

kkamdoum · 2021-08-24T16:17:00+00:00

Read the book “the rational male”

Hadraxis · 2021-08-24T18:18:09+00:00

Shit test. But she's a loser. Do what you want

icedbongos14 · 2021-08-24T18:37:58+00:00

That’s the problem with beta females. You’ll be OK King. She cannot unfuck that dick you’ll find the right one

rivetcitymayor · 2021-08-24T21:18:40+00:00

Sounds like you got game bruh

Kidcouger · 2021-08-24T23:15:48+00:00

Still beat tho

Sounds like she was just shit testing you or to see if you have a big ego or not

bigbootynopussy · 2021-08-24T23:43:45+00:00

You dont need game lol. You just gotta find someome who likes your awkwardness

NYNY45 · 2021-08-25T01:14:52+00:00

Be yourself would be my advice, humbly submitted. You want a woman and if she also wants you, then there can be a match. If a woman is at that time in her life where she wants the “classic bad guy”, then that’s her prerogative….which is ok. Don’t spend time chasing someone who doesn’t want who you are. You will find her!!!

abdeezy112 · 2021-10-06T20:54:03+00:00

Should've said

"Of course I don't do I look like a walking PlayStation controller!??" and say it with a smirk on your face.

Title	I was told I have "no game"
Author	Gordon101
Upvotes	396
Comments	211
Date	August 23, 2021 7:55 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pa7hoj/i_was_told_i_have_no_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-was-told-i-have-no-game.1277705 https://theredarchive.com/post/1277705

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