She moved on super quick

Ordinary_Cup_1827 · 2024-03-23T08:25:24+00:00

Two months is actually a long time. It’s usually instant. All women knows who they gona fuck once they leave you if not already

MGTOWManofMystery · 2024-03-20T19:49:49+00:00

If you are surprised that a woman moved on super quickly, then you need to study more Evolutionary Psychology to gain a deeper understanding of women's nature.

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-03-20T16:54:00+00:00

Most men have a problem with things that happens at mommie's house or during mommie's parenting time. I'm hear to tell you, the sooner you realize you have no control of either of those options, the better you'll be in your healing. Just focus on being the best father you can be when you have them. That's all that matters. The kids. Well, your healing too.... Let it go...

Is0prene · 2024-03-20T11:31:33+00:00

Just be glad her attention is divided and she is partly focused on Mr. Wonderful instead of going after you. My ex did the same. She was married 3 months after our divorce finalized. It drove me nuts. All of my kids hate his guts. That's what happens when you ram a partner down their throat before they have processed the divorce. This will make your kids love you even more.

Just be glad you are single now and can enjoy freedom. Remember, if you want to go somewhere, just go. You no longer need permission. IDK why it took me so long to realize that. Take advantage when the kids are gone to go fishing at a lake, or go on a hike, go to the driving range. Say to yourself, I want to go on a hike right now in the middle of the day and I'm going to go because nobody can tell me no anymore or guilt trip me as being selfish. Its an amazing feeling. You will one day stop caring about what she does and think about things that make you happy.

DaddyNoBux · 2024-03-20T10:45:02+00:00

As much as it hurts now be glad it’s happened because it gives clarity and allows true healing to occur.

I don’t care what anyone says. Hatred is the platform in which indifference is created

willowtrees_r_us · 2024-03-20T03:58:52+00:00

Revenge is sweeter than pussy

pieperson5571 · 2024-03-20T02:59:49+00:00

Congrats. No longer your monkey nor circus. Time distance silence.

naliron · 2024-03-20T02:27:24+00:00

The modern double-stardard has inverted.

Popular opinion says men shouldn't date until long after the divorce is finalized, as in 6 months to years, or risk the run of being called "fuckbois"

Whereas women start dating before the separation has even started, i.e. cheat, and are lauded as being "liberated"

So men get put in the position of their exes being "allowed" to dictate their lives, no matter the circumstances of the divorce.

Bit of a headscratcher, but I guess just "be reasonable" is too hard for society to grasp and implement...

DivorceCoachTeddy · 2024-03-20T02:21:41+00:00

I think if you have the decency and common sense to recognize that it’s too early to introduce your kids to anyone new, then it seems you and your ex never truly aligned in terms of values. You’re right, it is too early. However, you need to remind yourself that she is a completely separate individual from you, and you can’t control her actions or reactions, except when they directly affect the kids.

You are, however, entitled to express your concerns. From my personal experience and from coaching others, I’ve found it’s not useful to say things like, “Well, I wouldn’t do that, how would you feel if I did?” Such comments rarely sit well with ex-partners. Instead, just focus on the kids. Remind her that children’s emotional states are not as resilient as adults’ and that they are more easily affected by changes. Try to also concentrate on the immediate issues and choose your battles wisely.

Staying calm and collected is crucial here.

treborcj · 2024-03-20T02:12:01+00:00

Hi there, it's me. After 16.5 years of marriage and 3 kids, 60 days to divorce and 2 months after that, she remarried. She then divorced that guy within 5 years and 2 more kids.

Her life sucks and mine is awesome.

idiskfla · 2024-03-20T01:55:31+00:00

This is so common sadly. Similar to my case, except no kids. But her new friends were setting it up because they didn’t like me (even though they didn’t know me. They just wanted to set their colleague up).

F em all.

redditrock56 · 2024-03-19T23:35:07+00:00

After almost a decade it only took 2 and a half months to be in an official relationship with another guy.

She was fucking him or some other dude long before that, my guy.

Sthompson1965 · 2024-03-19T23:17:36+00:00

Women who have affairs always think about themselves, never anyone else.

Patient-Record-426 · 2024-03-19T23:04:07+00:00

My wife was on dating apps the day after I shared my feelings and she asked for a divorce/mediation.

TreetopTarantula · 2024-03-19T21:49:24+00:00

My ex moved in with a guy within months and my kids would go to visit. She proceeded to have 4 different live-in dudes within 2 years.

TheCommentator- · 2024-03-19T21:47:37+00:00

Focus on yourself bro and what you can control, she’s no longer your problem. It does suck she move on and it even sucks way more this new dude is around your kids, but women do that, my ex did it and I’m sure many other here will tell you the same. We weren’t even divorce when she had a whole grown ass man living with her and around my child. Focus on being the best man for you and your child and everything will fall in place. Do not show any emotion in front of her, act/ (fake it u til you make it, if you have too) like nothings faces you of what she’s doing with her life.

As for her “boyfriend”, invite him out for a beer. Get to know the men that’s gonna be around your child and make clear to him your boundaries when it comes to your child. You could even get him on your side and make things easier for you when it comes to co-parenting.

Her moving on so fast, more likely 99.9 won’t last…. Give it 1-2 years before that relationship falls apart.

brok_zenuwe · 2024-03-19T21:34:51+00:00

Make sure you have a morality clause in your decree. If she violates it, she can be found in contempt of court. So no asshat "friends" can be around your kids for a year, etc. It sounds like you might still have time to get it added in. just do some web searching for examples.

This affects your kids, so you can't care what she thinks, just do it.

It sucks, but more often than not they move on a lot earlier than you know about.

Might not apply here, but for others..if she had an affair, you can cite that as cause for divorce or separation (if you file, or you can answer her filing with your own counter-claim). Depending on the state, you might not be required to pay spousal support in the event of an affair. As in, it could be completely off the table.

Good luck!

SunMoonWordsTune · 2024-03-19T20:08:44+00:00

Mine was engaged in like 2 months to a different guy.

No_Animator_6015 · 2024-03-19T19:41:35+00:00

My ex brought her new partner into our house the first week of our separation (that we were still talking about). So I feel you on the confusion. These type of people don’t want to heal or make themselves better and would rather continue being horrible and jumping to someone else… it’s honestly the long game here, just sit back and watch it explode.

Academic_Mistake_751 · 2024-03-19T19:27:18+00:00

She’s not your problem you should gray rock and keep looking for how to benefit you

Square-Year-3706 · 2024-03-19T19:20:51+00:00

Same thing happened to me. Shortly after I found out about the new guy, while she was still living in the house I eventually bought her out of, I started realizing things I had missed. She had been plotting and with him for months prior. She was a past cheater also, so no surprise in hindsight. They’re still together and I’m sure I’ll get the news that they’re going to tie the knot soon.

He’s a loser regardless. No car, shit job if he even had one, no class, no kids of his own… I could go on.

I’m still getting over this shit and it’s over a year now.

Edit- forgot to add that the kids were introduced to him very quickly. But you know, if you start seeing someone 6 months prior to separation, I guess that satisfies the unenforceable waiting period for introducing new partners lol

HULKaba · 2024-03-19T18:44:58+00:00

I had a very similar experience. It’s not your fault and has nothing to do with you. Keep your head up and make sure your kids are taken care of. You got this, king.

malsell · 2024-03-19T18:14:18+00:00

My ex introduced me to her new "work bestie" in mid 2022, decided we were having "problems and I needed to change" in January 2023 after being together for 14 years. By February I was sleeping on the couch and looking for a new place to live. I moved out the last day of July and he moved in the middle of September. I am 47, ex is 46 and her new guy is 20.

Electronic-Guava-573 · 2024-03-19T18:03:27+00:00

My ex wife did the same thing. After we split she let it slip she was in a serious relationship 2 weeks later. I told her if it’s serious she’s been cheating on me for a long time.

henrycatalina · 2024-03-19T17:11:34+00:00

Read about war brides. I think we grow up thinking women love like men. As OP said, it can be about her controlling access to sex and thinking that's a relationship. Or, seeking validation, she's attractive.

It's not about you, or maybe it is her need to find security. Your priority should be your children's mental health and safety. I think men often have a romantic view of relationships that clouds understanding that others may have different views. You are the father. That doesn't change.

ContributionWarm9016 · 2024-03-19T17:00:15+00:00

She didn't move on super quick. She moved on in year 6 or 7 but stayed with you another 3 (or 4) years until all her ducks were in a row to be able to leave. 6 months...6 years, it's irrelevant to them. They use however much time they need. It's the dirty secret of marriage.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-03-19T16:58:05+00:00

I wouldn’t concern yourself too much, he’s just there for the sex anyway.

Do you know a lot of really great guys with the world by the balls that settle down with single moms? Nope, he’s not the catch she thinks he is.

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2024-03-19T16:53:01+00:00

That’s because 95% of women checked out way before they end the relationship/marriage. Usually they are emotionally cheating or actually cheat on you before they end it I.e monkey branching

Regular-Bat-4449 · 2024-03-19T16:46:50+00:00

Women control access to sex, and men control access to relationships. She may think she has a relationship, but I can almost guarantee she's being used for sex and it will crash and burn eventually

darweter_DPI · 2024-03-19T16:22:31+00:00

You are right, it's very inappropriate. She does not think about kids, she is being selfish, thinking only about herself and her well-being/validation, as short term it is going to be. My ex did the same. 6 months to a year is a rule of thumb.

Not much you can do about it unfortunately.

Title	She moved on super quick
Author	Interesting_Stress28
Upvotes	40
Comments	121
Date	March 19, 2024 4:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1binyle/she_moved_on_super_quick/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/she-moved-on-super-quick.1428505 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428505

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