Do overweight women with fit partners acknowledge the difference in appearance? Do they care or view the relationship as "equals"?

Feisty-Saturn · 2021-07-24T16:02:13+00:00

Can you elaborate on what equals in the relationship means?

I think that a lot of bigger women just think the guy is into them, which I assume he is. I mean no one should be with anyone they arnt interested in. But they are definitely aware that their partner is more fit just from looking at them.

techr0nin · 2021-07-24T16:33:30+00:00

I don’t understand. A physically fit guy is going to be more physically fit (bigger, stronger, faster, probably with more endurance too) than probably 95% of women. Not only would a woman know that, that’s probably why they’re attracted to you in the first place.

Did you mean whether or not they know they’re overwight and you’re not? Because if they have eyes I’m pretty sure they’d know. But why would they care if you’re willing to date/have sex with them? Is this just some passive-aggressive way to gripe about how you can’t land skinny women?

SmurfESmurferson · 2021-07-24T15:46:25+00:00

Of course they realize that. But they still got you - and men like you - so they don’t see it as a problem

The real issue is why are you dating women you’re not attracted to?

rivetcitymayor · 2021-07-24T16:45:51+00:00

I mean I’m fit as fuck but I don’t think I could ever get a woman as fit as me. Being a very fit man raises you by 1 or 2 points , being a very fit woman raises like 4 points

TheChocolateBarsGuy · 2021-07-24T20:05:02+00:00

You are doing PPL 6 days a week to date fat chicks ?

How thirsty are you my guy ?

NarniaFox · 2021-07-24T15:36:27+00:00

People with eyes and at least some initial ability to compare things do know that there's a difference. Some care, some don't. It's the same with couples where a guy is overweight and a woman is fit.

ItWasBrokenAlready · 2021-07-24T16:33:07+00:00

Yeah, most women have eyes and know that you are more fit than them. Some of them are self-conscious about that (body issues are huge among women anyway), some not. I'm not any fat acceptance / health at every size advocate, but still think it's a bit shitty to start going out with someone and then hold their weight against them (unless it changed dramatically). If she was good enough on day 1, what's the deal now?

yungthrowaway97 · 2021-07-24T18:19:25+00:00

I think a lot of fat women assume the fit men are attracted to them. In reality it is similar to your scenario where they can't get the fit women even though their lifestyles or more compatible. Men have to work to get women, women just need to exist. It would be awesome if women took physical fitness seriously.

skunkbear444 · 2021-07-24T18:30:28+00:00

There is no easy solution to this. The only way around it as a guy is to move somewhere with more fit women which almost always means more expensive.

Men have to really put in a lot of effort to be able to stand out and beat the pussy inflation price where now if all girls are chubby and fit guys desperate for sex still date them like normal then the chubbsters have all the power.

Hy3w_mong0u5 · 2021-07-24T19:11:35+00:00

Overweight women think that they're in the same 'league' as fit, muscular men these days.

For example: http://whisper.sh/stories/09e9086b-03de-4087-ad5b-7f003ce2c312/Plus-Sized-Women-Admit-They-Arent-Attracted-To-Overweight-Men

goatismycopilot · 2021-07-24T20:59:06+00:00

So I am confused you go to the gym all the time andxare super fit but you only attract overweight women? You are otherwise unattractive or have crappy a octal skills?

AFOQTNewbie · 2021-07-24T15:39:37+00:00

Do overweight women with fit partners acknowledge the difference in appearance?

I have never thought about my partner being my equal appearance wise. I only worry that I am attracted to them.

Do they care or view the relationship as "equals"?

Relationships aren't all about looks. While the initial attraction is nice, I don't really care about how my partner looks as long as I'm still attracted to them. I don't think about "equals" because I don't live in a world of rating people on their physical appearance.

Do women know that there's a difference in physical fitness?

Of course a woman would notice the difference in physical fitness when you can climb up 20 flights of stairs and she's out of breath after 10.

Do women get self conscious about the fact the guy they are dating or in a relationship with is actually in better shape than them?

I could careless as long as he's not constantly whining to me about my looks.

ohheyhi99 · 2021-07-24T15:47:15+00:00

My overweight ex used to call me fat as a “joke”nonstop. Im very thin but because of a barrel chest, scoliosis and pectis excavatum, my stomach sticks out, especially when sitting down. She used to comment on it and poke it constantly. I told her it bothered me but she said she had to say it because I had asked her not to comment on how thin I was, so she had to say something.

AFOQTNewbie · 2021-07-24T15:50:41+00:00

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throwawaythis2020 · 2021-07-24T15:59:11+00:00

I knew a guy who used to be obese. He constantly lied to himself that he wasn’t fat. Don’t most fat people do that?

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-07-24T16:40:37+00:00

Nope. If he has a problem with it but is still with me, it's his issue to deal with.

Willow-girl · 2021-07-25T01:08:56+00:00

I have always wanted to know though: Do women know that there's a difference in physical fitness? Do women get self conscious about the fact the guy they are dating or in a relationship with is actually in better shape than them?

If a man is with me, I assume that he's satisfied with me or why else is he hanging around? (Oh sure, there was that one guy whose foot I nailed to the floor, but let's not talk about him, eh?)

HDF_ · 2021-07-26T14:28:32+00:00

They are definitely aware of it. I was on a date one time off Tinder and she was actually saying how she needed to go back to the gym and all that. I was physically fit at the time and she was...larger than her photos.

I was in the mindset of just "being nice" back then and just sat through the date with the thought of never seeing her again afterwards. Fortunately, however, she also was really connected in the weed community so I just made her my dealer for exotic strands. She reached out again and I fucked her in my car outside of her parents house.

LMM-GT02 · 2021-07-27T02:23:48+00:00

A fit girl is incredibly valued. A normal to fit guy is expected. There are so many self-proclaimed “bad bitches” that are chunky and stupid and guys’ souls wither away when their that’s there SMV or RMV equivalent.

Why did we ever normalize being a fat and lazy piece of shit?

GNP_Aficionado · 2021-07-24T17:56:09+00:00

I've been in good shape pretty much my entire adult life (6'3", 200lb, abs, 10% BF) and I've always been attracted to the larger lady and exclusively dated them. Not one of them has ever acknowledged any "disparity" or ever felt that I'm out of their league. And the simple reason is because I'm not.

There are enough buff dudes out there that it's no big deal for an overweight woman to snag one. Dick is abundant and low value.
Just because they are overweight, it doesn't mean they aren't attractive facially. In my case, they've all been pretty and most have been more attractive than me.

thelajestic · 2021-07-24T18:02:06+00:00

Being fit doesn't make you better than someone who isn't, and it has nothing to do with how equal you are in the relationship.

That said, unless they're blind then yes of course they know there's a difference in physical fitness. I have a friend who is overweight and was with a guy who was really into the gym. She often felt self conscious about it because she worried he didn't really find her attractive. Not everyone is self conscious about this though 🤷

If you aren't attracted to someone then just don't date them/sleep with them. It says much worse things about you that you do that, than it does about an overweight person dating a fit person.

SaBahRub · 2021-07-24T15:43:45+00:00

Fat people know they’re fat, ok? I promise you they do

They just think you should treat them like a person worth being around anyway. Crazy, I know!

lfjcflb · 2021-07-24T16:22:43+00:00

Overweight doesn’t men less attractive Most men like thick women more than thin.

Whatever:

Also ask yourself why you go out with overweight women if you think they’re „second category“ in your opinion? You like overweight women obviously

misfit2872 · 2021-07-24T17:58:44+00:00

This highlights the difference men's and women's preferences when it comes to dating.Men are willing to "compromise" with physical appearance if he connects with a woman on personal level (he likes her personality, similar interests,etc)where as a women value looks and status more than personality.A guy might have a good personality,and similar interests,but if he's not 'hot' or 'cool' enough....off to the friendzone (or brutal rejection) of course.In public it's common to see a fit, attractive men with an "average" overweight women,but I hardly ever see an overweight, average dude with a '10'....unless he's wealthy.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-07-24T19:38:23+00:00

I think so. I have only dated men less attractive than me or my equal though. I couldn’t be less attractive than my partner it would be embarrassing to me

gimpgirl555 · 2021-07-24T16:00:58+00:00

Do women know that there's a difference in physical fitness?

Yes.

Do women get self conscious about the fact the guy they are dating or in a relationship with is actually in better shape than them?

My man is very picky with women's looks and demands that I maintain 12% body fat or less.

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YMaedchen · 2021-07-24T18:33:32+00:00

Yes definetly but in the end she still got you so maybe she thinks you are in her league. I used to be overweight I couldn't have dated at the time cause I was to self concious. Bu appereantly most fat women don't care that much.

AFOQTNewbie · 2021-07-24T19:48:30+00:00

It sounds like you either like fat women, or need to up your standards. If you are in good shape you should have a in shape partner.

HappilyMrs · 2021-07-24T19:53:52+00:00

So I have always been a big girl. When I met my now husband, I had just finished 8 weeks of starving myself to drop more than 40lbs. Not at all healthy. He had always been naturally slim, enjoyed mountain biking. My weight rebounded as soon as I stopped heavily restricting, and I soon weighed more than him.

Yes, it made me self-conscious. But I think overall our SMVs balanced out ish (neither of us had a high SMV).

We're both big now. If I was forced to date again, I would be avoiding very in shape men, because I know I would always feel really insecure and like he would ditch me.

I certainly dont feel "entitled" to anyone, regardless of how they look. I would hope someone would be attracted to me, but I doubt it.

Fat women are not always the stereotypical loud and proud confident women everyone seems to think we are. Sometimes we're just humans who really struggle with weight and dieting failures for decades and just want to be settled with someone they're attracted to who is attracted to them.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2021-07-24T20:09:50+00:00

Yes they do. Even if they’re not overweight but the man is just better looking they acknowledge it. There was a trend on tik tok a while ago where women and girls were talking about how their boyfriends or husbands are hotter than them.

Mora_Hermaeus · 2021-07-24T23:16:24+00:00

I feel like when men date overweight women it's usually because that's their type, but obviously that hasn't been the case for you. To answer your question, I really don't know but I think they probably don't care or acknowledge it. Idk, it seems like women are becoming more and more ok with being overweight lately. There's this awful trend on TikTok where women post what they looked like at the beginning of their relationship and then what they look like now (usually several years later). The "now" is always them at least doubling in size and looking completely different from when they started dating. I just don't know why that's something to brag about or be proud of and I honestly just feel bad for the man in the situation. When you're in a relationship you should want to stay healthy and attractive for your partner.

2021-07-25T00:36:24+00:00

I sure hope people don't see themselves as "less than" for their weight...men or women. I'm sure overweight people all feel differently about this.

I've gained weight after being sick I've lost it. But at no point did I feel like my partner was "better than me." There's more to people than their fitness, and everyone values different things. Some people want a fit partner some don't. Some men like big women, some women like big men. All these preferences are fine.

Gerpstarg · 2021-07-25T01:21:35+00:00

Nah, you are expected to be dedicating 6 days a week and restrict yourself dietary while a woman is allowed to be a landwhale with rolls of fat and you have to accept her amazing personality, thats how it works.

If you dont like it, you just dont have sex. Sounds great, isnt it? Welcome to 2021!

bears_breeches · 2021-07-25T02:56:50+00:00

Do women know that there's a difference in physical fitness?

Do you mean if they realize you don't have the same body type? Yes, of course, most people have a semi-accurate idea of their body shape. An overweight person knows they're overweight, unless they have a severe form of BDD.

Do women get self conscious about the fact the guy they are dating or in a relationship with is actually in better shape than them?

Probably, but women in general usually feel conscious about their weight, even small women. Its how we're taught to think. Hell, I've never been over a 20 bmi and I've still been conscious about my weight compared to my past partners' weights.

To be frank, these don't seem like the questions you want answers to, judging by your comments and post. It seems to me like you think overweight women are not attractive and below your league, and you want to know if overweight women share the same view that you're "dating beneath you" when you go out with them. I think you're embarrassed that you're only dating women who aren't high enough on your perceived hierarchy of attractiveness and so you want to boost your ego with the idea that they should be "grateful" that you're giving them your attention.

If you're dating women you're not attracted to, that's your choice. Your solution to not finding a partner you find attractive is to date overweight women, and that's fine, but its not the only solution, its just the one you went with. Don't expect your overweight partners to view the relationship the same way you do, because normal people expect mutual attraction in a relationship, at all body sizes.

BeepBeepSaysTheJeep · 2021-07-25T06:18:08+00:00

As a technically overnight woman, here's my 50 cents. Lower your MFing voice when you speak to me and buy me a Maserati.

I'll settle for a Subaru.

blueXcat · 2021-07-27T12:50:05+00:00

I'm not super overweight, but at least I'm lucky it's the right places to have curves and a bit of belly. I can use lingerie and the right clothes cut. My meds get me hungry and I have some health issues, so I found a weight I'm comfortable with and needs me to have an acceptable food habit for my mental health

I'm also more muscular than average so my weight is kind of firm

My fiancé is fit. He has a great face too. I could have a lot of competition, but he's someone who is... Well way more romantic than I am for starters ... But mostly into what a woman is like inside. Obviously he won't go for a woman who is just a fat whale, but he has a good range of body attraction

Like, I can be in the shower or changing clothes and he'll come check me out, staying there

He looks at me like I'm the most beautiful woman

So I don't get self conscious. I know I can't gain 50 lbs and have the same attention though.

I have a friend, she's a bikini fitness body builder, she's the most beautiful woman for her partner, but she is so self conscious. She won't have sex because she feels fat someday. It's sad. I wish she could look at herself and be satisfied

My fiancé's ex tried to be sexual to get him back, but it never worked. She's thinner, she's more conventionally attractive than I am for sure. Mostly when I met him, with my punk short hair

But I was the one who stepped up helping him with their child when she did the minimal. I'm the one who proved I was family material

I stayed with him and helped him when he had undiagnosed health issues. I came back to take care of his health even after he was violent with me, because he wanted to change

He doesn't want a fit woman by his side. He wants someone he's attracted to, but will help him get up when he is done. Who is making his son feel loved

withwhimsyandgrace · 2021-07-24T15:59:29+00:00

Of course they know and get self conscious about it, and it gets even worse once a woman has had children. Having babies is not excuse to get fat and lazy, but unfortunately many women use it as such and then harp on their husbands for spending too much time at the gym or say their husbands are verbally abusing them by suggesting and encouraging them to eat healthy and make time for exercise. When women get self conscious about this it comes by way of trying to control their husbands and becoming naggy, angry wives.

I’m not overweight, but I’m 27 weeks pregnant and have noticed this past week that I’m starting to slow down a bit more (which is normal), and I’ve definitely felt a bit self conscious about it since my husband is in such great shape. The difference is all in what you choose to do with that feeling of self consciousness. Most women will do nothing but rage and try to have control over their men and very few will actually work to maintain some level of fitness.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-07-24T18:29:57+00:00

no one thinks like this at all

Title	Do overweight women with fit partners acknowledge the difference in appearance? Do they care or view the relationship as "equals"?
Author	AFOQTNewbie
Upvotes	19
Comments	213
Date	July 24, 2021 3:33 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/oqsa1z/do_overweight_women_with_fit_partners_acknowledge/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-overweight-women-with-fit-partners-acknowledge.793559 https://theredarchive.com/post/793559

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