Are friendships with women a good way to get sex or dates?

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-11-22T04:16:52+00:00

Nope, good way to get friend zoned tho

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-11-22T06:04:52+00:00

I have always made friends with women I slept with. But I also made it unequivocally clear that I am a sexual being who likes to fuck and that they will have their brains fucked out of their head when we inevitably get to this part.

Lucian-Salop · 2021-11-22T04:35:33+00:00

BPers keep saying that hypergamy is not real, women's tastes are just variaed as men's ones. evo-psych is sexist pseudosceine. According to BPers, women are selective only because of threats and slut-shaming.

You literally opened your post with three points you pulled straight out of your ass. You can't just make shit up and establish them as facts.

The differences in male and female sexuality lie in the fact that dick is cheap and in so much abundance that it is essentially worthless.

Befriending women for sex is foolish because women aren't looking to fuck as many of their friends of the opposite sex as men are.

ogsimpology · 2021-11-22T06:50:42+00:00

No. Any graph that shows you "we were friends before the relationship" only means they were acquaintances.

Almost no relationship comes from a friendship. It might be that you knew each other while one of you was in a relationship, or you were in the same social circle, so technically friends, but not really.

Booexgirlfriend · 2021-11-22T04:54:01+00:00

If I'm not attracted to him, there's no way I'm having sex with him. Friendships with women are great to increase the chances to meet other women though.

wtknight · 2021-11-22T05:08:45+00:00

Are friendships with women a good way to get sex or dates?

No, not usually. Unless a guy is flirting with her while he is friends with her and she knows that he's interested. Most women aren't going to tolerate men who they're not attracted to at all ("red light guys") doing this, so a woman will quickly discard of a guy who acts this way who she's not attracted to.

The problem is, men who an individual woman isn't attracted to will often play friendzone game. She'll have no idea that the guy wants a relationship/sex with her, and he'll end up just wasting his time and energy on her. Friendzone game is stupid. Men should always make it aware to a woman that they are attracted, even if they are willing to try the friend thing first. If they are lucky, she'll put the guy in a "yellow light" category and he'll get a chance eventually.

Of course, developing one-itis for one woman is dumb, too. So a guy should always be trying to pursue multiple women until one romantically commits.

GoodApollo506 · 2021-11-22T05:08:55+00:00

No!!!!

Pilling_it · 2021-11-22T10:31:28+00:00

I dunno if it works, but doing an action hoping it leads to something creates expectations that create disappointment that creates bitterness.

Just for that alone, I wouldn't.

Nyanu · 2021-11-22T05:17:52+00:00

I don't befriend people on the assumption that I'm going to get some sexual or financial benefit out of it. I befriend people who I like and who understand me.

Oli_love90 · 2021-11-22T04:21:06+00:00

Most likely not.

On rare occasions friendships can turn into friends with benefits but that requires a whole lot of factors to fall into place.

If you’re befriending women with ONLY the intention of getting sex you’re gonna come across as real creepy and insincere. Friendships are not meant to be stepping stones to your desire, they’re meant as a form of companionship.

DizzyReplacement44 · 2021-11-22T06:41:41+00:00

I can only speak for myself in this regard, but it didn't work out well for me.

I tried the friendship until hopefully romance strategy thing a lot in the past. Like on the Disney Channel shows in the early 2000s era when the nice friend ended up with the girl after she ends up realizing how great he was. It didn't work out like it did on screen, always ended up being friendzoned.

Just express your sexual interest from the beginning. If you get rejected, at least you saved yourself your valuable time.

Notanothrshitthrow · 2021-11-22T09:29:57+00:00

Having friendships with women is a good way to understand them and become more confident in talking to the opposite sex. It's unlikely to be a direct cause for you getting laid though.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-11-22T16:41:14+00:00

Friendships are a good way to get friendships with women.

Approaching women with "Hey I want to be friends!" and never showing any physical interest or escalating is patently absurd.

Why pretend to be doing one thing when you want to be doing another?

JediGuitarist · 2021-11-22T20:37:41+00:00

When I was younger, I was constantly told that I needed to make female friends. I don't honestly recall why I was told this, I just know that I was. I was also the guy who always said "okay" when women I wanted to date said "let's just be friends".
I'm pushing 50, and I still make female friends very easily. I run in a lot of circles with good gender balances. I'm the guy women run up to insist on hugs goodbye or hello. My closest friends have always been women. Even now, my three BFFs are all women, two of them like ten years younger than me. I genuinely enjoy the company of women and, unlike most of the red pill guys here it seems, the women I hang out with are interesting and fun and have "uses" beyond sex.
That said, I haven't had intercourse in close to a decade. At least, I think so. It's been so long I remember who it was with but not when. So yeah, no. Female friends do not lead to fuckin'. At least in my experience.

hatit516 · 2021-11-22T21:18:22+00:00

Here a tip if you’re a man… avoid progressive women

deste_eloise · 2021-11-22T05:06:10+00:00

Is this a question whether you will get dates/sex with the woman you befriended OR get more dates/sex from being exposed to a larger social group?

Withnail- · 2021-11-22T15:37:47+00:00

Slut-shaming over biology as a reason for women being more selective? Lol! That’s some hilarious bullshit right there.

Extracrispyrooster · 2021-11-22T18:42:27+00:00

Lol.

alphafox823 · 2021-11-22T05:14:02+00:00

No, if she starts thinking of you as a friend then you'll probably have trouble getting anywhere with her if that's your plan. I think if you're going to try to get further, you'd probably be better off on going the relationship route because girls who have crushes on guys they know well aren't going to want to just be FWB.

Furthermore, I wouldn't look at her as a route to getting dates or sex with anyone else.

It only happens if the girl's friend asks her if she can be set up with one of her guy friends, and more often than with men they have a particular person in mind. I would wager that nine times out of ten, it's more like the girl being a go-between so that her friend doesn't have to initiate than her actually playing matchmaker or saleswoman.

If you're a guy, female friends don't want to set you up. I don't blame a lot of girls because it would be embarassing if a guy they recommended to their girl-friend was actually a creepy horndog.

If you're gonna be friends with a girl, just accept the fact that you're only in it for the actual friendship, and not for relationship networking. No, she's never going to tell her single friend about you - let alone set you up on a blind date or anything. No, she's never going to invite you guys to hang out in the same group to give you a shot. No, she's not going to introduce you to her friends just so you can scope out your options. No, she's not going to invite you to hang out with the ladies when they're having a kickback with few if any guys.

Naturelover1664 · 2021-11-22T14:47:20+00:00

This is why I don't have male friends 🙄

PM_ME_ZED_BARA · 2021-11-22T04:23:04+00:00

Evolutionary psychology has some merits but like how many science in popular culture is portrayed and used, what people claim evolutionary psychology says can be vastly different than what the science actually supports. You cannot selectively pick a few papers and overstate their conclusions.
Hypergamy exists but it affects individual women differently. For some, hypergamy drives their behaviors. Others don’t feel it as much. I don’t also agree with “hypergamy is a female nature” either. #NAWALT
As implied above, women are selective for various reasons, be it hypergamy, slut shaming or so-called patriarchy.
I don’t believe women’s tastes are necessarily as varied as men. But their tastes are varied. That’s why I don’t agree that there are traits of men that women find universally attractive.
And about gay men, do you know which body types of men are the most popular on Grindr? Taste of gay men, while also varied, can be so predictable sometimes. They simply have less threshold of attractiveness for fucking someone just once.
Due to NAWALT, friendship can be effective for finding dates and sex for some types of women.

_Chairman_Lmao · 2021-11-22T06:17:33+00:00

Studies show that yes, men find a larger percent of women attractive than women find men attractive, but men find all the same women attractive- whereas women all find different men attractive. It is actually women that have more varied taste than men.

januaryphilosopher · 2021-11-22T09:48:42+00:00

Women don't tend to feel very safe being alone with you if you lied about wanting to be their friend in order to have sex with them.

quiturbitchn · 2021-11-22T13:08:49+00:00

Nah, I don’t fuck friends and I tell them that. Platonic friends remain platonic. So befriending me for the hope of sex is a waste of time

IHaveSalesQuestions · 2021-11-22T03:58:22+00:00

Yes. This is where RedPill is stupid. I’m friends with tons of women. I’ve turned some into orbiters the same way women do. If you’re attractive and can talk well plus know how to escalate when the moment is right you’ll have lots of sex with women friends.

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MelisandreStokes · 2021-11-22T05:34:35+00:00

Guess what female friends do

Introduce you to their other female friends

lybid8 · 2021-11-22T06:08:24+00:00

Friendships with the opposite sex are healthy for your psyche and will better you as a person and as a partner, whoever you end up dating. Friendships with women only end up in relationships if there’s mutual attraction plus when other factors fall into place and that’s wonderful when it happens, but should not be your motivation for befriending women.

As a side note, men are hypergamous af, men will and DO date “up” given the choice.

CatoftheBanals · 2021-11-22T06:09:00+00:00

Relationships can grow out of friendships. But generally women are going to see through a guy trying to shove his way into her friend circle. She will either reject you totally as a friend and partner, or if she’s selfish she’ll get a lot of emotional labor and maybe other stuff like free meals out of you, because you won’t be setting up proper boundaries if you’re chasing her.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-11-22T07:22:39+00:00

I'm not red (or black) , which I think by definition makes me blue(?) though I don't abscribe to any pill.

Personally think your assumptions are shit.

Friendships with women can be an advantage in dating in that it helps you gain the social skills necessary to talk to women.

Friendships with people in general means that you are able to meet more people and therefore more women. Also notes that when joining activities/meetups women are more likely to join groups that already have a woman present.

But bring friends first and then hitting on her is not a point in your favour. Odds are she's already put you in the "friend" bucket. And we'll the friendzone mene exists for a reason

If women's testes are just as varied as men's ones, they should find most men physically/sexually attractive.

Varied does not mean most. There is an attractiveness threshold to get over for example. Another is that different women like different things. Preferring say Benedict cumeberbatch over say Jason momoa means you prefer a certain "type of guy". Not most guys another girl prefers Jason momoa over Benedict, but this still doesn't translate to most men. It means those two girls just have different types. Also in general women aren't as down to fuck as men.

Getting a progressive female friend, better if she participated in casual sex in the past, who feels safe around you should bypass these two obstacles women face or at least greatly reduce them. If she's less progressive you should at least be likely to get dates.

Lol. No feeling safe does not mean feeling attracted to you. I can feel safe and only have platonic feelings.

what do you thnk are the exact differences between men and women's sexuality? Are you open to concede that evo-psych has its merits or do you think there are other explanations?

I think women have a tendency (but not always) have a sexuality that's passive (not likely to be raring to go the moment you see someone hot.) and more likely to be mood dependent (you can be the hottest guy ever, but if I'm not in the mood then I'm not in the mood.). Men it seems tend to be more spontaneous (dtf almost anytime, and a lower threshold for who they're willing to have sex with)

Whether these differences is social/cultural or biological we don't know. It's probably a mix of both. It's pretty hard to prove one way or another.

Evo-psych the way I've seen it is stupid. It's basically people making bullshit up based on existing traits. It uses often generic gendered retroactive explanations with no proof to justify itself. No causality or even correlation. Just x because y BECAUSE I SAID SO AND IT MAKES SENSE YOU DELUSIONAL BLUE PILLER RAHHHHH MONKEY BRANCHING HYPERGAMY UNCIVILISED SLOOOOOOTS (obviously though studies that attempt to explain this using correlation and social psychology are feminist and to be discarded immediately. You just hamstering using your research with no proof because evo psych has sooo much more proof ya know). and women are supposed to be the emotional gender lol

It's hard for me to accept things with retroactive explanations at face value and to accept them as the holy grail of facts the way red pillers do. Don't get me wrong there probably biological reasons for preferring breasts (signs of maturity and child bearing) and ass (correlation with wider hips and supposedly easier child baring) and shit. But note that i say "probably" and i don't use it as a blanket explanation for an entire genders motivations.

spunkystoic · 2021-11-22T11:14:47+00:00

I'm alway hesitant to trust "studies", be they condemning of men or women in the dating sphere.

They are often (1) not peer reviewed and (2) even if they are, are often not of a decent enough sample size to support the assertions they make.

I did econometrics in uni and, although I've forgotten most of it, our professor always told us to look at those two things and to always be sceptical of research papers that took bold stances.

DarkSp3ctre · 2021-11-22T14:46:15+00:00

While relationships can develop from friendships, it seems disingenuous to befriend someone just to get in their pants.

PassMyGuard · 2021-11-22T15:50:30+00:00

Stating your intentions when you feel them is a good way to get sex or dates.

Dudes get stuck in the friend zone by not saying how they feel when they feel it.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-11-22T16:05:38+00:00

Friendly? Yes. Faking interest in an entire friendship in hopes of sex? No. You have to make your intentions clear pretty early, in the acquaintance stage, or you waste your time and her time.

And I’m not fully blue pill, or any pill, but also not Rp and don’t believe women are any more “hypergamous” than men. And I also don’t think that the only reason women are selective is slut shaming. It’s also lower sex drive and higher risk. Causal sex is just a bad deal for women in general. And the fact that many men think playing friends is a way to get sex is why you should never trust your male “friends” too much.

That being said, expanding your social circle is always one of the best things you can do for your dating prospects. Genuine platonic friendships with women, and men, will expose you to more women.

nick1812216 · 2021-11-22T16:35:20+00:00

They say the secret to seduction is proximity

MeanCry5785 · 2021-11-22T18:47:46+00:00

It's a good way to get friends, but always complent with fun. It's easy to find a date/girl. Just be fit, have fun loving way of life and have the adventure you want in life. Also, know what and why. It's hard to find someone worth it or that makes you want to be better. I was focused on grad school and I didn't have much luck. Now, I'm tired of living in windowless lab rooms so, thats manifested itself and now I get to the one that rejects ppl. It's a nice change.

ChunkTons · 2021-11-22T19:34:52+00:00

There's no pattern to this and you'll probably not get beyond a friendship, but you know what you will get? A friend, so it's definitely 100% better than just doing nothing

SleepingBoomer · 2021-11-22T19:42:36+00:00

No lol

While having a bunch of female acquaintances can be useful (the people you invite when you throw a house party/event but leave them on read whenever they hit you up outside of the nightlife); dudes who actually do the "Friend Zone" with Women have exactly zero success.

While I have guy friends (who are super good looking and take VERY good physical care of themselves); who just kind of meander around with girls "falling on their dicks"; these guys will tell you being friends with women is a good way to get laid because they literally don't understand that it generally doesn't happen like that for normal people (bless their naïve hearts lol).

The answer is as simple as it's always been; don't do platonic relationships with women. Be simple and direct with your romantic/sexual intentions and if they're not down; be willing to completely walk away.

Prismatic_Symphony · 2021-11-23T09:50:36+00:00

If friendship was a good way to get sex, the term "friendzone" wouldn't be around. If it was a good way to get sex, this question wouldn't have appeared, cause all men would be getting sex. It's pretty obvious to me that that's the case.

Men are (generalizing here) results-oriented. Let's do what works. If friendship worked, men would be getting all the sex they want, and this sub would be almost a ghost town.

5x_the_Charm · 2021-11-24T03:34:21+00:00

No. At least not close friends. Less likely than a ONS even.

All my relationships but one started as a flame right from the beginning and my current one started as a weekend sexcation and that one was barely an acquaintance.

xcheshirecatxx · 2021-11-26T14:27:16+00:00

Well, most of the time, if you are just a friends and didn't go a date at first, it's because you aren't attractive to her.

But: If you're a good person, I might set you up with a woman I know

LotBuilder · 2021-11-22T04:29:19+00:00

Yes. As long as you treat her like a friend and you’re not a lapdog it will eventually benefit you directly with that girl or with her circle of friends.

NinjaOfTheSouth · 2021-11-22T05:01:32+00:00

It’s a good way to ATTEMPT to get dates or sex . Once you become freinds just flirt and hangout, that’s the best way to go about it.

Title	Are friendships with women a good way to get sex or dates?
Author	DiscussionReader
Upvotes	8
Comments	174
Date	November 22, 2021 3:48 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qzc959/are_friendships_with_women_a_good_way_to_get_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-friendships-with-women-a-good-way-to-get-sex.1087225 https://theredarchive.com/post/1087225

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