What's the point of labeling people who wouldn't date transgender people "transphobic"?

catchtowards12345 · 2022-01-18T21:39:28+00:00

I am locking and removing this for now. Although this is on-topic, it likely violates the Reddit ToS.

sine120 · 2022-01-18T17:54:52+00:00

I wouldn't read too much into social media justice warriors. After they're done calling you transphobic I'm sure they'd turn around a tell a woman being pestered by some guy that she doesn't owe him sex, time or love. There is no moral basis for the outrage, and ultimately it just wastes your time and energy trying to unravel the nonsense.

TThrowaway144 · 2022-01-18T17:51:56+00:00

What is the point? The purpose is to try To shame/bully people into dating trans people

Gravel_Roads · 2022-01-18T18:25:31+00:00

Like most topics on this sub, it’s more in the how you say it than what you’re saying.

Most people would be fine with “I’m not into trans women.”

Most people would call it transphobic if it sounded like “transwomen are disgusting, I’d kick their ass if they tried to touch me.”

Now, that being said, “-phobic” is just the new buzz word of the day. It would be easier to understand if you just replace it with “asshole”.

As in “I just said I thought transwomen were ugly degenerates, and suddenly now I’m the asshole!”

Having the preference isn’t an issue any more than it’s an issue for incels that women are having sex with men that aren’t them. In that it’s just people bitching about how hard it is to date.

il_nascosto · 2022-01-18T19:11:28+00:00

The is already a term for straight people who won't date trans. We call them "heterosexual". I've also found that there's a term for gays and lesbians who won't date trans. It's called "homosexual". So, there are already preexisting labels for these phenomena... who woulda thunk?

razormachine · 2022-01-18T17:35:05+00:00

You had answered your own question.

The point is shaming people into having sex, as simple as that.

If you are not willing to furiously suck some girlcocks you are Hitler.

Playful_Art_5364 · 2022-01-18T17:46:25+00:00

Trynna gaslight men and women basically.

It’s not working and it’s pushing more people who didn’t have a problem to start having a problem with the movement.

Hoopy223 · 2022-01-18T17:29:55+00:00

Any extremist group will have a “with us or against us” mindset and the longer it goes on the harder it will be to maintain the “with us” part. The standards for being on their side become more bizarre to the point that they alienate each other and break apart.

ShinyBronze · 2022-01-18T19:06:21+00:00

My question is why do you care?

This number is a severe minority. Like I seriously doubt there’s over 4 figures.

And even if it was a more significant number, does it even matter? Hardly worth complaining about lol. Just so what I do. Say no and move on.

On the other hand, I think racial preferences are a different discussion. But that deserves its own thread. I’ll just wait for purge day lol.

Paranoidexboyfriend · 2022-01-18T20:35:14+00:00

The people who say its "to shame/bully people into having sex with trans people" are close, but not quite. Instead, its an attempt to shift the societal standard and default from "no i won't fuck a transperson, because as a heterosexual cisgender person, I'm not attracted to people of the same sex." to "of course i would fuck them, why wouldn't I? they're real women/men."

Its not about targeting the "transphobe" (or as I call them, "normal sane people") Its about shifting the societal standard so the next generation of kids will think sucking girl penis is completely normal. they're not after you. They're after the social narrative. they're fine with "transphobes" being transphobes, as long as they can make those transphobes the marginalized exception and not the norm.

nvkr_ · 2022-01-18T17:28:50+00:00

I don’t think that’s transphobic, and a few trans people who are frustrated about not finding a partner they desire won’t convince me otherwise. It’s totally fine to have preferences and not wanting to abandon them. Though, sometimes, these preferences surely can root in x-phobic tendencies, which then might be a separate issue to discuss, without regard to someone’s dating behavior.

pumpkie-spoon · 2022-01-18T18:48:27+00:00

Irdk what your talking about ive turned down trans women i just don’t say the reason I won’t date them is their trans I’ve literally never been called transphobic

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-01-18T18:25:34+00:00

To shame them. I’m attracted to women, so if that makes me “transphobic” for not wanting to date a dude in a dress I’m totally ok with that.

Slootando · 2022-01-18T19:08:58+00:00

Remember the vitriol, teeth-gnashing, and harassment directed toward the SuperStraight and expanded SuperLGBS community? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

baresquad · 2022-01-18T17:32:12+00:00

Not sure this is the sub for this but from my understanding the transphobic label is attached because when said person express their preferences it’s accompanied by extremely transphobic language like

“I don’t fuck men” or “she’s a man” when you can simply say “I’m not into dating trans women”‘and go on about your day. The first 2 examples are indeed transphobic

If you take the “I’m not into dating trans women” route and somebody calls you transphobic, then seriously, who cares? You should be secure enough in your preferences to know you’re not, without taking offense to that persons opinion

vetado · 2022-01-18T18:03:40+00:00

People who won't date transgender people threaten the income of millionaires.

StarchRunner · 2022-01-18T18:48:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2022-01-18T18:51:12+00:00

It's the same as always with these tactics. The point is to socially shame people with different opinions, tastes and lifestyles into compliance and force them under your control because they fear the court of public opinion. And since it is unacceptable to be racist, transphobic, sexist, a Nazi or anything like that, these attributes are used in an inflationary manner to attack anybody and everything these days.

AnonRb6 · 2022-01-18T19:38:51+00:00

Wait im transphobic for not wanting to fuck a tranny?

The fuck?

I respect their decisions but I don't want to be around them.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-01-18T19:39:38+00:00

Trans people face a ton of genuine discrimination, so I can definitely see how they would start to get frustrated and take these rejections quite personally after a while. And some of them probably are transphobic. Of course simply not wanting to date a trans person is fine, but I get it. They just want to be accepted and live a normal life, so that’s going to sting no matter what.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-01-18T17:34:38+00:00

Everybody uses "shaming" language so unfortunately, but if you're confident and proud and secure and whatever you do you can't be shamed by it🤷‍♂️

And I'm married to a transsexual, but I would never call somebody who wouldn't do that transphobic, the woke mob over the past couple years likes to call anybody an "ist" or a "phobic" over the dumbest shit, and on the flip side I get shit for it whenever it comes up on other subreddits and even this one but I love her and I married her and the people commenting don't matter so it is what it is lol

tgjer · 2022-01-18T17:48:10+00:00

Oh look, it's our regularly scheduled multiple-times-daily "Nobody asked but BTW trans people are categorically unfuckable, now tell me I'm not transphobic!" shit post!

Fuck this, here's my default post on this shit again:

If someone feels the goddamn need to spontaneously announce they'd never fuck a trans person, yea I'm gonna go ahead and say they are fucking transphobic. For fuck's sake, has a trans person ever actually hit on you? Why exactly do you suddenly feel the need to announce "BTW, everyone within <insert stigmatized demographic> is totally unfuckable, and everyone within that demographic now has an obligation to kiss my ass and tell me that this is totally ok and I'm not biased against them!"?

If you don't want to date/have sex with a trans person because you don't find them personally attractive, that's not necessarily transphobic.
If you don't want to date/have sex with a trans person because they don't like their personality, that's not necessarily transphobic.
If you don't want to date/have sex with a trans person because you are exclusively attracted to a style of genitalia that they don't have, that's not necessarily transphobic.
If you don't want to date/have sex with a trans person because you want to have children with your partner and can't do that with this particular person, that's not necessarily transphobic.

But if none of those things apply, and you don't want to date a trans person solely because they're trans, yes that's transphobic. If this is a person whom you found physically and sexually attractive before learning that they're trans, and you don't categorically exclude infertile people from your dating pool, but upon learning that their medical history includes transition you move them from the "would crawl through broken glass for a chance" category into the "not if they were the last person on earth" category, yes that's transphobic.

No that is not your "sexual orientation". You were attracted to them before finding out their medical history, you could have continued being attracted to them indefinitely if they hadn't told you, all that has changed is you learned something that changes absolutely nothing about their appearance or personality. If that causes you to suddenly lose all attraction, yes that is a transphobic learned response.

And hey, everyone has learned responses that may be biased against particular demographics. These responses may be deeply ingrained, something they're taught from early childhood, and which they don't have conscious control over. You don't have an obligation to date or fuck anyone you don't want to. Having an irrational bias doesn't make you an irredeemable monster. You don't have an obligation to challenge your irrational biases or examine where they came from. But yes, it is still an irrational bias and a learned responses.

Plus, having genital preferences or just not finding a specific person attractive may not necessarily be transphobic, but how it's expressed sure as fuck often is. E.g., "I'm not interested in sex with someone who has a penis" - not necessarily transphobic. "I'm only interested in sex with real women" - yes that's fucking transphobic. Also, feeling the need to spontaneously announce that people with non-standard equipment are unfuckable? Yea that's transphobic, and also a giant asshole thing to do.

And you know what's fucking transphobic as hell? These constant goddamn "BTW I would never fuck a trans person" posts.

We aren't seeing bi-weekly posts on r/PurplePillDebate (or r/LGBT, r/askreddit, or r/askgaybros, or r/offmychest, or r/changemyview, or r/unpopularopinion, or r/askTransgender, or absolutely fucking everywhere) spontaneously announcing that its OK to not want to have sex with men who lost their dick in a car crash, or have a micropenis, or women with vaginismus that makes vaginal sex impossible, or vaginal agenesis (born without one), or etc.

Even though that would be a sex/relationship deal-killer for a lot of people, it would be incredibly tactless to spontaneously announce it, and most people recognize that this is a private situation best dealt with on a case by case basis.

And we aren't seeing constant posts spontaneously announcing that anyone who used to have a condition like these, but has gotten it treated, is still categorically unfuckable and that this is "just a preference" and totally not based on any kind of irrational bigotry against them.

But somehow, every fucking couple days we get another "DAE trans people are totally unfuckable?" post, with the accompanying circle-jerk of cis people insisting that they're not transphobic, they are just only interested in real (cis) men and women. Even though a hell of a lot of trans people are physically indistinguishable from cis people, even during sex.

And we're expected to smile and hold their hand and tell them that's all just great, of course they aren't transphobic just because they feel the need to regularly announce that we're all totally undesirable and they would never fuck a trans person.

This is goddamn bullshit. If learning that someone is trans is something that will cause you to suddenly lose all attraction to that person, despite absolutely nothing about their appearance or personality having actually changed, yes that is transphobic.

And if you feel the need to spontaneously announce that trans people are unfuckable, you're not just transphobic, you're also a gigantic asshole.

bangitybangbabang · 2022-01-18T17:39:30+00:00

It's like calling a woman racist for preferring black guys over white...

In this analogy wouldn't the woman be saying "i wouldn't date a black man" which is kinda racist yeah

Aclopolipse · 2022-01-18T18:04:14+00:00

How are we supposed to call actual transphobic people?

I'd argue that there is a lot of overlap between the "I don't date trans" crowd and actual transphobic people.

Even on the internet where anyone can lie about what they believe, I can count on one hand the amount of times I've seen these two positions voiced simultaneously:

Trans women are women and trans men are men, therefore civil discrimination protections for trans people are a good thing, and;
I would never date or have sex with a transgender person.

One of the best predictors of someone's broader beliefs about trans people is how they behave in the exact discourse discussed in this post.

lonely_mixtape · 2022-01-18T19:07:02+00:00

I find it tends to be cis "woke" activists who say it the most. Speaking in behalf of an issue most trans people don't care about. Most trans people I know, would much rather date someone who is attracted to them.

Slyfer_Seven · 2022-01-18T17:34:23+00:00

The only reasonable shit I can come up with would look like this: If you won't date a trans person because you're not attracted to them, that's fine, if you won't date trans people because they're trans, that's transphobic

Same with the black and white thing. If you won't date a white guy because you're not attracted to him, cool, but if you won't date white people because they're white... That's racist

You can try and counter by saying you're just not attracted to ANY trans, white, black, whatever, but you don't really know that, unless it's because they're _____ which can be problematic.

The point of the shaming language is to point out the problematic behavior

calfshrug · 2022-01-18T18:02:00+00:00

You’re phobia phobic, I guess. Who gives a cat’s tits what prefix a person affixes -phobic to. If a person doesn’t like dating trans people because 1. They usually can’t reproduce, 2. High incidence of mental illness, 3. High incidence of STDs, and 4., tend to look, sound, feel, and smell more like their base sex (at least trans women) than is appealing, why are those not legitimate reasons?

I’ve had sex with a trans woman before, but there is a lot of justified fear. Violence is not justified, but it a person chooses not to have sex with a type of person, it’s their choice.

[[[SPOILER - FOLLOWING IS SATIRE WITH THE PURPOSE OF STIMULATING NOVEL THOUGHT, NOT SERIOUS]]] Except for women choosing not to have sex with weak men - that’s the contradiction where I draw the line, because I think women / girls should be guilted into not obsessively having sex with super duper hot guys from high school onward. Hot guys should start passing on their girls to us, giving the girl a good vouch of approval, with the hope that she will accept, for us sexually weak men. That’s something I can back. Let’s build a positive culture around sex taxes. It’s all consensual, but it’s based on some amount of social rapport between more than just the two having sex. It takes a village of socialized sex to create a sex positive, accepting culture

[[[end SPOILER]]]

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-01-18T18:30:42+00:00

Can you turn down a transgender person without misgendering them? If not, you're transphobic and should be called out.

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alialahmad1997 · 2022-01-18T19:03:37+00:00

I talked with few leftist groups about it

They believe gentelial preference is OK and you are allowed to not date a certain transgender

But if your sole reason to not date a trans is because they are a trans then you are a Transphobic to them

In the end that depends on your defeniton of transphobic is it someone who believes trans people should not have right

Or is it someone who even between him and himself doesn't believe in changing gender

I will call trans people by their preferred pronoun and treat them as they want to be treated but between me and myself I don't believe sex is different to gender so I am a Transphobic by the second definition but not by the first

kindParodox · 2022-01-18T19:09:12+00:00

My mentality is similar to language barriers. Just because I can't speak Russian doesn't mean I hate Russians. I don't have to date a transgender person to prove I don't hate them.

prettymuchredpilled · 2022-01-18T19:09:57+00:00

Just ignore them and date whomever you want to date, just like literally everyone else does. If mentally ill people want to scream at each other in their online rabbit holes, let them have their catharsis. (Not to say that all trans people are mentally ill)

chiriklo · 2022-01-18T19:29:51+00:00

...this thread wins the "biggest dumpster fire I've ever seen" award Jesus H Christ 😬😬😬

Insidious-Sid · 2022-01-18T19:37:47+00:00

Just say "no chemistry" and move on.

Only psychotic lefties want to try and police people's sexual preferences.

The day some obese manatee with purple hair tells me who I can and cannot find sexually attractive is the day I light myself on fire and walk into a gender studies department.

CorporalDavid · 2022-01-18T19:42:57+00:00

I mean, it's the same idea of calling people who wouldn't date an overweight person fatphobic. It's a weird guilt trip that won't work.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-01-18T19:47:48+00:00

It's the Utopian Disease kicking in. To the extent the gender dysphoria is a real thing best treated by changing gender, utopian thinking makes people want to believe there is a solution. Makes them want to believe we really can change someone's gender entirely. But even if this was a good thing and we really wanted to, we just can't. Not today, at least.

But this type of Utopian thinking is what leads to Communism, and to trans MMAers kicking the shit out of true women. It makes people crazy.

SuperSupremeKai · 2022-01-18T19:54:42+00:00

Just like not wanting to date outside your race is racist or not wanting to date an overweight person is fatphobic.

Invictus_44 · 2022-01-18T20:20:17+00:00

Transphobia doesn't exist.

Transdisgust exists. Some is evolutionary based, some is uncanny valley.

But nobody is afraid

Karmanger · 2022-01-18T20:42:44+00:00

You can't escape it, The whole Super Straight trend originated from a dude who just wanted to identify... as not attracted to trans.

You are right in your example It is the equivalent of a black guy calling a white woman racists for not sleeping with him. It sounds just as stupid.

I'm not sure what the end goal for those people are, but it only makes people more polarized the more they call people transphobic, who are not.

Lotus_82 · 2022-01-18T20:44:19+00:00

Personally I prefer to call myself a vaginaphile.

princesssbrooklynn · 2022-01-18T20:47:34+00:00

I don’t get it at all simply because how long did it take for gay people to be able to marry? And what makes them gay liking the same gender, so to say straight people are transphobic for not wanting to date trans would that make a gay person also transphobic for not wanting to date them cause precisely what makes them gay is liking the same parts. The mind fckery will never make sense to me. And as a woman I sometimes see that stuff and go yeah your still a man still being mysoginistic to women telling them what is and is not ok to do

BlockedAgainIGuess · 2022-01-18T20:51:30+00:00

This is a rare phenomenon

The point is that the people making these accusations are a) used to encountering transphobia and b) unable to process their feelings properly

divingrose77101 · 2022-01-18T20:53:41+00:00

People should be very selective about who they date. I don’t recommend anyone date someone they don’t want to. The time when racism or transphobia comes into play is when people want to limit the rights of others.

social_mule · 2022-01-18T20:54:41+00:00

Control. The point is to control people. The point is to condition people to backtrack on something as personal as their individual dating preferences if the proper amount of social pressure is applied and calling people [insert prefix here]-phobic seems to be the shaming tactic of choice to condition all sorts of behavior.

goneaway2thewind · 2022-01-18T20:58:53+00:00

Trans women are women, women attack via reputation and shame. It's a feminine operating style. Like shaming guys who don't date fat, within their race, younger, etc.

decoy88 · 2022-01-18T21:12:02+00:00

It fits the definition. If the only reason is that they are trans, despite looking exactly like and being as attractive as a cis person, then it qualifies as ‘transphobic’ by nature

The idea is not to be so upset at the label as if it makes you an EVIL PERSON.

Truth is everyone is a little toxic in some way… a little sexist, a little racist, a little homophobic, a little transphobic or \’ist’ or \’obic*. Just don’t be a dickhead to people who are different than you.

Crying about it when an aspect gets called out is pathetic.

Fuck who you want, don’t cry if you’re preferences get critisised online.

shiningLisa · 2022-01-18T21:27:41+00:00

It makes liberals feel good

HumanSockPuppet · 2022-01-18T21:33:20+00:00

Terms like transphobic are a groupthink tactic for othering people who don't follow the group's orthodoxy. It's a setup for justifying discriminatory acts against outsiders.

Spacct · 2022-01-18T17:46:24+00:00

Because it's totally not rape if 'woke' people are the ones pressuring you into sex with someone you don't want to sleep with.

Swans-r-cunts · 2022-01-18T18:06:47+00:00

I've literally never heard of this, and any normal person (however they identify) would not take this rhetoric seriously.

mayoissandwichpus · 2022-01-18T18:11:58+00:00

Almost no one believes not wanting to have sex with a T girl is transphobic. It’s a tiny amount of people who think this they’re just all over Twitter and whatever. “I fuck who I like to fuck as long as its consensual” is pretty universal. I don’t even think this is a topic worth discussing much. There’s no controversy here.

sarkington · 2022-01-18T18:18:17+00:00

Plenty of people are willing to fuck a trans person but not date them.

Title	What's the point of labeling people who wouldn't date transgender people "transphobic"?
Author	EstablishmentKooky50
Upvotes	81
Comments	291
Date	January 18, 2022 5:24 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/s72pbu/whats_the_point_of_labeling_people_who_wouldnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-the-point-of-labeling-people-who-wouldnt.1096875 https://theredarchive.com/post/1096875

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