Q4M: Should men be judged on their history too?

GuitarsBack · 2022-02-26T02:25:04+00:00

Of course men should be judged on their history.

We encourage women to do so instead of judging the guy on tingles only.

Barely-moral · 2022-02-26T02:10:12+00:00

Q4M: Should men be judged on their history too?

They should and they are.

Do you apply the same premise yourselves?

Of course.

If you were a dateless virgin in your 20s should you be judged based on that?

I was one. I was judged for that, I am still judged for that.

If your past partners thought you sucked in bed, should you be judged on that?

I should be. And I have no reason to think I wouldn't. People talk.

If you were routinely rejected by women should you be judged based on that?

I was. I was judged for that. I am still judged for that.

Matt_Door · 2022-02-26T01:58:58+00:00

Sure go ahead and judge me. Women screen out with harsh evaluations and checklists. this is to be expected

DrinkItInMan11 · 2022-02-26T01:53:11+00:00

Other men sure, not me though. Everyone except me should be judged on their past.

2022-02-26T02:19:13+00:00

Everyone will and should be judged and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

AllYouCanEatJapanese · 2022-02-26T02:54:56+00:00

If i was a woman, i would absolutely despise men who sleep around. Most of men's bad behaviour in "relationships" can be explained as "he got all he came for".

NICHIJOU2411 · 2022-02-26T02:17:46+00:00

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Is it gonna happen is the real question.

SwinginPastMyKnees_ · 2022-02-26T03:27:12+00:00

I say yes. It serves in women's best interest to judge the men based on past behaviors (e.g., drug problems, used to beat his partners, money problems).

dysonRing · 2022-02-26T02:35:16+00:00

Lol, women simply don't understand men.

We are judged 24/7, but we don't give a shit about judgement. Thank god for testosterone.

dbz19 · 2022-02-26T02:22:49+00:00

If you were a dateless virgin in your 20s should you be judged based on that?

If your past partners thought you sucked in bed, should you be judged on that?

If you were routinely rejected by women should you be judged based on that?

Men already get judged on that and I genuinely don't care. If a woman judges you on that then she isn't right for you anyway, so why would I care what she thinks? She doesn't have what I'm looking for and I don't have what she's looking for.

Guitar-Master9891 · 2022-02-26T03:54:40+00:00

Yeah, absolutely.

Thing is... We kinda are indeed.

Women don't really want promiscuous men for a BF, but since manwhores are often extremely good looking, women compromise on sexual past to snatch a handsome man.

Knight_of_Inari · 2022-02-26T03:25:49+00:00

We should be, and we are actually.

Devourer_of_felines · 2022-02-26T14:21:50+00:00

If you were a dateless virgin in your 20s should you be judged based on that? If your past partners thought you sucked in bed, should you be judged on that? If you were routinely rejected by women should you be judged based on that?

Are you really posing these questions as though women don’t do these regularly? Lol.

PrettyHappyThings · 2022-02-26T01:54:51+00:00

Sure. If women want to cut the 1 guy left after they’ve applied all their other superficial filters because he’s banged a few more women than they’re comfortable with, I say go for it. It’s only harming the 1% of men with harems.

Teflon08191 · 2022-02-26T05:13:52+00:00

Yes, men should be judged for those things (and they are, with prejudice) just as women should be judged for certain things like promiscuity.

A virgin 20-something man will be judged much more severely than a virgin 20-something woman, and a promiscuous woman will be judged much more severely than a promiscuous man.

It's only hypocritical if you gloss over all of nuances of how men and women are different.

wtknight · 2022-02-26T02:05:14+00:00

If a man sucked in bed, I would have no problem with him being judged based on that, although women should realize that it takes everyone a bit of time to learn to be good at that sort of thing.

As for the other two, I don't think people should be judged as much based upon things that were out of their own control. If a man is being rejected by women but he suddenly figures things out, then he shouldn't be judged so poorly. Similarly, a woman who was abused or sexually assaulted shouldn't be judged by men, although I've read posts on here where men are perfectly willing to do that, and I disagree with that.

The difference with N count is that a woman is choosing to have a high N based upon her own choices. It's not something that was out of her own control, and her past choices say something about her personality.

jax006 · 2022-02-26T02:12:29+00:00

Don't really know what the word "should" means here.

Do I want them to? No. Do they want to? Probably.

midwesternMD · 2022-02-26T03:19:34+00:00

I don’t see why we shouldn’t be judged. And we are already judged that way, to varying degrees. So whether we feel we should or shouldn’t be judged on our sexual histories is a pretty moot point.

If you’re trying to court someone, they have every right to judge you based on whatever they value. Whether or not their judgments/values are truly beneficial in the long term is what people here tend to debate.

Maybe I’m not too current on PPD trends, but my impression has been that men lament being judged for all manner of superficial things because it leaves most of them on the sidelines. And from the sidelines, they’ll judge women for what they believe are shortsighted behaviors. But PPD is really a space for both men and women to hash out why they feel the way they do and perhaps drive conversation towards what things should be like one day.

ZookeepergameLimp · 2022-02-26T06:21:28+00:00

I like that none of these questions is aimed at men who have sex left and right. For me personally, the set of questions just show me again how worthless you are as a man if you're not being desired by other women.

It is an interesting and refreshing thing to see though since this also fits the descriptions in Islam.

Men's biggest reward is pretty much women whereas women's biggest reward is something else, I don't know what it is but it is not men. I don't mean to sound depressive either. This is all perfectly fine. It is funny how people reject Islam and end up acting exactly like it is been explained and described in Islam. Might as well follow Islam then lol.

iamwhoiam101101110 · 2022-02-26T03:30:51+00:00

I think Jesus said it best: "Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."

geniusundercover · 2022-02-26T03:53:45+00:00

I thought men were judged anyways hmm

DianeticDelight · 2022-02-26T04:22:35+00:00

Sure!

Carloverguy20 · 2022-02-26T04:45:53+00:00

Yes they should.

hari_hbp · 2022-02-26T04:47:20+00:00

To all your questions, the answer is yes. I believe that every person has the right to judge another person and take decisions regarding one's own life. If me being a "kissless virgin in the 20s" means "incel who hates women" to a woman, she has every right to judge and avoid me. I would take it as her protecting herself. Same thing applied to judging women. As long as there's no shaming, all is good.

ThatRealBiggieCheese · 2022-02-26T05:35:56+00:00

To be fair, wether I answer yay or nay, You and I will be judged on these criteria. However, I still think people should be judged on their history because it’s a fast way to find red flags or green flags

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2022-02-26T06:27:13+00:00

Men and women already get judged on anything and everything anyway, so why the hell not?

EstablishmentKooky50 · 2022-02-26T08:22:05+00:00

I think people should be judged on the individual basis, at the time when judgement becomes necessary. Past should be in the red flag department, which means more information is needed about the person's current state of mind.

If she has a promiscuous past the chances for a promiscuous future is increased but only if she didn't go trough some genuine change. If he was an oversized basement dweller infusing Cheetos and soda, he might not be your best choice unless he learned his lessons and upgraded himself.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-02-26T09:21:16+00:00

No one should be judged on their history men or women. But they should have their current potential examined with respect to their history.

If a man was a virgin until 25 he should he a bit suspect, but not rejected because of it. If a woman has fucked 20 men by 25, same deal.

Only stupid people who can't actually analyze how good a person is worry about that stuff

goochiegg · 2022-02-26T09:42:52+00:00

The consensus among men here is women should be judged on their sexual history. Cool. I have no problem with that.

That's already a thing men are judged for in society and by their peers male or female . Hell even in your teens you are judged for it as a dude

If your past partners thought you sucked in bed, should you be judged on that?

Yeah

If you were routinely rejected by women should you be judged based on that?

You are seen as a loser if you get rejected

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-02-26T10:34:16+00:00

Yes, men should be judged too

abaxeron · 2022-02-26T12:26:17+00:00

We already are. As someone said here recently, to see how quickly "the past doesn't matter" evaporates, tell a woman you had a gay phase.

I just like calling out hypocrisy.

Repeating my response to other recent thread:

Entire societies in the West are built under guidance of women who preached that marriage (an other "suppressions of female sexuality") is slavery, for more than 2 centuries before the Red Pill even appeared as a term.

Women who suddenly worry about marital stability when it comes to men's N-count are hypocrites.

2022-02-26T14:29:21+00:00

"Should" doesn't matter, you will be judged ON WHAT YOU REVEAL about your history and how you reveal it. Make it work to your advantage. Be vague, or embellish, or make up bullshit, who gives a fuck?

Why do you care about being judged in the first place?

GhostofCamus · 2022-02-26T14:56:58+00:00

"Should" isn't even a factor in my thinking here. I will be judged, and them is the breaks.

Neptune-Jr · 2022-02-26T16:12:59+00:00

Men should be judged on their history as well. Why would we ignore potential partner history.

2022-02-26T16:36:53+00:00

Women already judge us for our history. The more other women find us attractive, the more attractive they find us.

If you were a dateless virgin in your 20s should you be judged based on that?
If your past partners thought you sucked in bed, should you be judged on that?
If you were routinely rejected by women should you be judged based on that?

You already judge us based on those things, so the question is moot. Should, doesn't matter.

ohheyhi99 · 2022-02-26T17:07:06+00:00

There are some things that are good to judge on, while others are not so much. Men are also judged on their history and have been longer than we’ve been alive. “Women talk” as they say, and some women will tell others if a guy was bad in bed, has a small dick, or seemed weird. Many women also don’t like it if a guy has slept around a lot or if he lacks experience.

rolurk · 2022-02-26T18:06:47+00:00

This question is unnecessary. Should has nothing to do with anything.

Men are judged, they are judged by everyone for everything they do. Should has nothing to do with it. They are judged by people who aren't even trying to get into a relationship with them.

What is this thread really about OP?

Should men get the right to judge women on whatever metric that they think is important to them when dating.

bfangPF1234 · 2022-02-26T02:43:01+00:00

As much as women are

poppy_blu · 2022-02-26T02:27:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2022-02-26T02:30:09+00:00

Yes men should be judged as well, but we wouldn’t be judged on the same criteria as women would because men and women desire different things and have different requirements if each other

caption291 · 2022-02-26T03:26:19+00:00

Generally speaking you should be judged based on what you control rather than what happens to you.

So given that most men who are dateless virgins in their 20s haven't chosen that, and that getting rejected isn't something people choose. You shouldn't be judged for either of those things on their own. You should potentially be judged for whatever led to those situations.

DaphneDK42 · 2022-02-26T05:22:15+00:00

Of course. If you wasted your 20s playing video games and jacked off to hentai porn, and you find yourself at 32 with no skills, no income, no future. Then you are a lazy, useless, fuckhead. If you are a 28 man and think Marvel movies or other stupid entertainment for children are cool, then you are a child-man, not good for anything.

nedinator3000 · 2022-02-26T11:49:47+00:00

Yes. We should and we are.

It’s just the reverse of how women are judged.

Women like guys who have a decent amount of bodies under their belt. As opposed to how we like women that have less casual sex.

poppy_blu · 2022-02-26T02:04:24+00:00

Only if they have a really big number. And if they abused or mistreated past partners… and/or if they didn’t get their history (high n count) from women by just wanting variety/fun in different experiences but because all the women they’ve been with eventually see a ton of red flags and run away from them. The thing is every man has a ton of embarrassing **** he would never want any girl to know from his past, the only difference is men don’t go opening up about weaknesses or past girls that hurt them the way women do in/before new relationships so they can pretend to be more masculine and stoic, thus sexier to the girl. The truth is men aren’t used to being judged for their past at all unless they’re criminals, so we would see it as too unfair and against the rules if a women wanted nothing to do with us since we slept with 30 different girls. Women are supposed to live their lives following pre selection & conformity, not having individual out of the norm personal standards. Remember OP, the true feminist that lives in the early 1900s are dead, modern women see a guy that had sex with 100 women as a good thing, regardless of whatever manipulation or exploitation he used to do it. Women already see a man being 18 - 25 and a virgin as evil & will find a way to punish them for it - unless they are very attractive. Not all women of course but in general you take the average 21 yo women and you’ll find some disgust. Why? Remember, sex is effortless for one sex & due to solipsism they assume it’s that easy for everyone, this is actually true for some guys… who already have a lot of sexual experience that is, and since the women are around these guys more they have the right to assume all men are like this. If the man is in his 20s and a virgin they assume something must be wrong & lose attraction, they are already judgmental. But why? Well if other girls didn’t want to have sex with him he must not be all that great :/ since other girls didn’t want him I don’t want him. The opposite is also true, discreetly let a girl you’re crushing on know you have a f buddy & text messages from some other girls that seem interested in a relationship with you. Somehow the next time you two hang out alone you end up sleeping together & after the deed is done you think “holy f I just banged my crush how tf did that happen? She was so cold to me and then we had smex” this is what clueless men think anyway lol it happens all the time, most people have no idea why women get emotional

FizzleMateriel · 2022-02-26T02:06:38+00:00

It’s kind of an irrelevant question, they will be. It’s like asking if someone should be judged for living at home with their parents when they’re 35 years old. For a lot of people that would be an immediate turn-off before the person even takes a breath to explain why.

It’s like asking if someone should be judged for being a single parent (either father or mother) at 20. There’s gonna be judgment lol.

A woman will be judged on her sexual history by most men unless her partner’s really open-minded or has a count to rival hers… and that scenario is probably the most ideal for her. It just makes it not an issue at all. If a woman with a double-digit body count gets with a guy who’s only slept with 3 women in his whole life she should probably expect that that could cause tensions.

The same way that an experienced a man who dates a virgin girl should expect that she’s going to see sex differently than he does. That if she wants to wait a month for sex or doesn’t want to do anal, that should be expected. And he can judge her for it but then he probably shouldn’t be with her anyway.

If you were a dateless virgin in your 20s should you be judged based on that?

The thing is, statistics say that that’s not an anomaly.

It’s about 1/3rd of men I think? I’ll need to look it up. But about 1 in 3 guys in their twenties you’d see walking down the street, aren’t having regular sex and aren’t in a relationship even though they’d probably like that. What can you do?

Women can judge that if they want but they have a skewed perception of what it’s like to have a relationship or FWB because they mostly hold the keys unless they’re incredibly unattractive or have obvious issues. Women can stumble their way into relationships and if they remain single it’s mostly by conscious choice on their part.

It’s said sometimes that men are the gatekeepers of relationships and that’s true only if the woman actually desires one with that guy.

poppy_blu · 2022-02-26T02:13:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Ylduts · 2022-02-26T02:17:55+00:00

IMO when it comes to dating people can judge whoever they want however they want I don’t care.

HotelFederal5765 · 2022-02-26T03:04:29+00:00

We are already judged on stuff you mentioned, what makes you think we are not?

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-02-26T03:30:39+00:00

If your past partners thought you sucked in bed, should you be judged on that?

Please include whether he was raped, and if he should be judged on that.

Because you know, you should judge people who were abused as deserving it.

I don’t care what your preferences are. I just like calling out hypocrisy.

You are going to get roasted on this because you can't see your own hypocrisy in how to treat people with dignity regarding sex.

spacebamboo69 · 2022-02-26T02:04:23+00:00

We already are... Being a promiscuous man is not the same as being a promiscuous woman, same with virginity.

If a man cant get pussy there must be something wrong with him, if a girl gets too much dick there's something wromg with her.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-02-26T02:26:36+00:00

We are 😂😂😂

Ok_Grapefruit_631 · 2022-02-26T13:41:21+00:00

I don’t think so, especially if they’ve had long term relationships. You can be faithful and have a broad sexual history. Don’t be insecure and open your mind

Kaisha001 · 2022-02-26T02:51:54+00:00

It's not a question of whether men think they should or shouldn't, its whether women will do it.

They don't. In fact they generally prefer a couple more notches than they have. So there's your answer.

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Bandit174 · 2022-02-26T02:55:38+00:00

I guess it depends on the reasons for judging those things. The reasons that men judge high n wouldn't apply to those scenarios.

InfiniteEating · 2022-02-26T03:32:57+00:00

If you were a dateless virgin in your 20s should you be judged based on that?

Yes, this is like a woman who sleeps a lot--it's the path of least resistance.

If your past partners thought you sucked in bed, should you be judged on that?

Yeah, you should be able to pleasure your partner.

If you were routinely rejected by women should you be judged based on that?

Would you judge someone based on how often other ppl hit on them? No, that's just weird.

faptemp44 · 2022-02-26T03:49:41+00:00

Who doesn’t lol.

AllThePillsIntoOne · 2022-02-26T03:56:44+00:00

Sure. But the underlying difference is that it’s easy for most women to get laid, while the opposite for most men. Women are judged when they are promiscuous, while men are judged for not getting girls.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-02-26T04:30:21+00:00

Idc if I'm judged because women would still fuck/relationship me even after I tell them, so clearly it doesn't matter that much

Chaddamhusein · 2022-02-26T05:55:37+00:00

Yes but i know for a fact that women like shitty men so you judge them on a different more retarded standard

After all you proudly say that mr blu was "the type of guy who shoved you in lockers" so i dont think that you really care about the shoulds and shouldnts eh

techr0nin · 2022-02-26T06:46:47+00:00

The short answer is yes, and not just sexually speaking but history in general.

But obviously it shouldn’t be the only criteria and you would cross-reference where he is today and try to project where he is heading. For example if a man used to be dateless but built himself up into someone attractive today, that is a trajectory that projects a positive growth in sexual market value. On the other hand if a woman’s past consists mostly of casual sex with attractive men but today she dates less attractive men that are willing to commit and provide resources, that is a trajectory that suggests a diminishing sexual market value.

Longshot_56 · 2022-02-26T07:46:56+00:00

If you were a dateless virgin in your 20s should you be judged based on that?

I would assume so, yes.

If your past partners thought you sucked in bed, should you be judged on that?

To be expected.

If you were routinely rejected by women should you be judged based on that?

Again, yes to be expected.

Do you apply the same premise yourselves?

I will 100% lie/omit the the things that would probably disqualify me and I feel no guilt in doing it since women do it too.

343_peaches_and_tea · 2022-02-26T09:15:43+00:00

I don’t care what your preferences are. I just like calling out hypocrisy.

Is it hypocrisy? Even if people think men and women should be judged on different things. Is that hypocritical?

The dating market between men and women is asymmetric. Very asymmetric.

Women aren't exactly out in their droves arguing for symmetry.

When you do, maybe I'll start caring more about women being judged for things that men aren't.

In answer to the OP. I do think it would be good for dating to be a lot less asymmetric and people be judged on the same things. 99% of people seem to disagree though so it hardly matters.

2022-02-26T10:10:55+00:00

Thread is useless because all of what you just wrote is and always was on display in the world. When men want to judge women on their history it is only to LEVEL the playingfield not to get ahead.

Not to mention that you can sum it all up as pre-selection.

wtknight · 2022-02-26T11:27:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2022-02-26T12:55:54+00:00

Yeah I think so. Except the getting rejected part. I think men that get more rejected, we are better because we go after it more often, it's all about how we deal with the rejection. I'm telling you some good looking guys never been rejected because they never went after a girl, all power to them but they don't have the skill to deal with it unless they get rejected all the time from other sources

Apprehensive_Boat_70 · 2022-02-26T14:55:13+00:00

We are already jugdged hard for that and more so the proper question is if men shouldnt be judged for it, but i dont care, i dont complain cuz i dont get pats on my back nor victimhood points if i do, in fact we as men are harshly judged when we complain, in fact ur post, with all the hypotethical situations it brings implies that those are negatives if a man has them, if women were judged as harshly as men are the majority of em would give up life, one of the best things of being a man is that society forces you to become better or else you ll be harshly punished for it, your average woman on the other hand is granted superiority just for existing based on meaningless qualities until reality hits.

Termusnator · 2022-02-26T15:53:04+00:00

The answer here from my perspective is neither gender should be judged on their history, rather who they are today.

Practically this isn't true. There's no real way to grade who a person IS without understanding who they WERE.

You've touched on a really interesting nerve where I think a lot of men would prefer women do judge men who are more promiscuous based on their history more than they currently do; as they feel this would lead to they themselves becoming more desirable. Through this same vein the qualities men are using promiscuity to grade on: reliability, monogamy etc, are also qualities that should be desired in men.

Since you've framed this as a view of hypocrisy, I would like to know if you have had any experiences where you've been made uncomfortable by stories of a SOs past and how you handled that situation, if you're comfortable sharing.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-02-26T16:33:15+00:00

Absolutely. It is my CV after all.

Christian_Kong · 2022-02-26T19:25:55+00:00

It's probably a pretty good idea, especially when looking for an LTR.

Electrical_Coat_8714 · 2022-02-26T20:05:05+00:00

We already are what the fuck is this.

Either you do get women they leave you and they talk shit on you.

Or you don't get women, you're a loser and probably don't deserve happiness.

Yeah bro judge me, I know what I'm about, just don't lie on me.

Equal_Cry5820 · 2022-02-27T04:03:28+00:00

Heres the thing you're right I'm a kissless virgin because I'm unattractive to women but why are women surprised that these men don't want you? Its not like women want them either if they have a choice.

2022-02-27T07:01:41+00:00

Everyone can be judged on their history. It just matters by what standards you are judging, and whether or not that person’s history suggests they meet your standards.

If every last one of your exes thought you sucked in bed, I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest they might have a point.

Euphemia006 · 2022-02-27T12:30:15+00:00

Men are already judge when they have no sexual experience. Most women prefer an experienced man. A man with no sexual experience is considered by women to be a weirdo, creep, ugly, socially inept geek or the well known term now, incel. Women are judged when they have to much sexual partners, men are judged when they have none. Men who have a lot of sexual partners are judged too. Called players and all the what not.

SkookumTree · 2022-02-27T17:20:43+00:00

No shit, people should be judged - partially - on their history. Past performance predicts future results. There are chances at redemption for everyone, though.

Jakes1967 · 2022-02-27T22:17:38+00:00

Should men be judged on their history too?

Not only are men already judged on their histories, they're constantly judged on their future potential too.

gopher_glitz · 2022-02-28T00:14:46+00:00

lol, as if we already aren't judged for those things. Women seem so touchy that so many guys find promiscuous women a bad investment and feel the need to lie about their history because they know the guy can't help but feel differently about them.

2022-03-02T08:44:01+00:00

Idk why everyone acts like this a brave and bold question. We are judged either for being a "dog" or a virgin (incel) its not like women dont judge us. Its just yall keep asking this dumb ass fucking question lol

Anti_Thing · 2022-03-19T06:16:40+00:00

Yes, though virginity should be expected of both men & women. Having trouble getting dates isn't a moral failing like fornication is.

Title	Q4M: Should men be judged on their history too?
Author	poppy_blu
Upvotes	50
Comments	238
Date	February 26, 2022 1:49 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/t1kq4x/q4m_should_men_be_judged_on_their_history_too/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-should-men-be-judged-on-their-history-too.1102899 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102899

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