Q4Men who have sex, please share your story of successful IRL approaches

prettymuchredpilled · 2022-01-28T23:11:30+00:00

I don't do well on Tinder, most of my hookups have been from bars. I follow the usual basic bachelor playbook:

1) Go to bar

2) Approach and flirt with women in said bar (I also converse with any dudes who happen to seem cool, helps me get energized)

3) If I meet a girl I vibe with, I get us a drink or two and find us a spot to sit if possible

4) Flirt with her some more, make out and/or dance, and then eventually ask her if she wants to head back to my place

baresquad · 2022-01-28T21:53:27+00:00

I don’t cold approach

If I’m at a party, bar or club I usually peep who’s eyeing me and usually they’ll come up to me or I’ll get to them, strike up a conversation and either go home and fuck or exchange numbers/socials and meet up at another time

KingWhoCared86 · 2022-01-28T21:58:17+00:00

Oddly enough, I offered a coworker some chicken wings at a bar and later we had sex in my car and began dating. Not sure what I did.

Accomplished_Map8806 · 2022-01-28T22:09:45+00:00

Almost always warm approaches. I really enjoy playfully flirting even with friends and women I did not planed to have sex with so sometimes I do get surprised by women which actually meant it. For some reason when I exit an relationship my ex's friends and sisters tend to... wanna bang.

In one such case I met a girl, started an relationship with her. I got to know all her friends, we hanged out all the time. Said GF was a "bit" of a bitch and after 5-6 months I had enough of her and I dumped her. I also intended to stop hanging out with her circle of friends to respect boundaries, but they kept calling me out and hanging out at my place.

Ended up having sex and relationships with 6/8 of her close friends I knew.

Just flirty behavior.

Right after the breakup her friend Lara asked me spend the New Year with her, I was flirty with her (duh). I noticed her behavior changed, she was kinda chasing other girls away from me, she wanted to talk just with me. I lived far away and had to use my two feet for transportation, she told me I could sleepower at her place.
I met her family, and at about 3:00 in the morning she started chasing them away until we were alone. I really wanted to sleep, but she wanted to watch movies with me, we cuddled up on the couch and then she started grinding against my dick.

TheJim66 · 2022-01-28T21:37:48+00:00

I'll be honest I have no idea how to make the approaches seem interesting. I saw them at the club, I went and talked to them, got social media accounts, went for drinks, we fucked.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2022-01-28T22:34:34+00:00

I've met a bunch of ons, FWB and girlfriends through cold approaches. A couple of girlfriends I met at Starbucks while waiting in line for coffee. They were almost identical. I entered the store, look at the line at just so it happens that a hot girl was standing at the end of the line. I headed straight over and said "I like you, what's your name" or something to that effect. Then grabbed a coffee together and the rest was history.

One FWB I met at a Starbucks as well. I grabbed a coffee and started looking for a table to grab a seat and saw a cute girl glance at me, so I headed straight over and said "if you are going to look at me you can also talk to me".

Another girlfriend I picked up as I was exiting a live music venue and was headed to another bar. She was just outside touching up her makeup. I said something, she said hi, got her name talked a bit, took her number went on a date and ended up in bed on the second one.

Others have been coworkers, friends of friends, old high school friends, or other cold approaches. I've done tons of this. I met my now wife at a bar where I was out by myself and she was with a group of friends. Whatever your excuse is for not meeting women, I have been there done that to prove to you that it can be done.

purplish_possum · 2022-01-29T00:14:10+00:00

1) get into decent shape (this can take months)

2) go to a place where women drink in public

3) drink

4) hope the woman you wake up next to is at least OK looking

Vtridolla · 2022-01-28T22:25:36+00:00

I met a girl on New Years as soon as I walked through the bar we met eyes, so I approached her and her group of friends and started talking to them. They all seemed to like me and I asked the girl I liked if we could dance, she was Portuguese so she could really really dance.

We are having a good night and just joking and laughing the whole time. I asked if I could kiss her and she laughed and said “you don’t have to ask” which I replied “consent is sexy.” And kissed her. It was a really good kiss, she asks me what my plans are for the night. I tell her I’m going where the wind takes me.

The night is winding down the bar is closing and she asks if she can come over to my house, I tell her sure so we get back to my place. I take her to my room and put on some music. I turn around and she is already naked and on the floor crawling to me.

We had great sexual chemistry. Apparently it’s been a while since she had sex so about 45 minutes in she starts to cry and telling me how good it feels. And that it’s been a while and this is a lot more than she was expecting.

We had a great night and we still see each other about once a week.

social_mule · 2022-01-29T00:42:34+00:00

I'll give two examples; one cold approach and one warm approach.

Warm approach. This is a girl I had known about two or three years. We were at a mutual friend's house for a bbq/bonfire type thing. We always got along but were never intimate with each other before this particular evening. It was pretty late in the evening and everyone was sitting around but there wasn't enough seats for everyone to sit. I motioned to get up and give her my seat but she said don't worry about it, told me to sit back down then she sat on my lap. I forget what I said but I'm sure it was something dumb. She laughed and did the thing where she leans back and her hair falls on my face and shoulders.

After that I don't think I spoke more than ten sentences. Just the old back rub, kissing the back of her neck deal. No resistance on her part. She was as enthusiastic as I was. yada yada yada we went back to my place and had sex.

Cold approach. This is very boring but very typical of a ONS with a woman I met at a bar. It's a two level bar. The top level is like an Irish Pub and it's indoor, the bottom level has outside patio tables and a bandstand for live music. Occasionally they have special events back there.

So I'm upstairs drinking a beer, watching a game and basically minding my own business. A nice looking lady about five years younger than me with glasses on comes up and asks if anyone is in the seat next to me. I answer no. We have very basic conversations. What's your name, do you come here often, do you mind if I smoke (she smoked, I do not).

As time goes on I ask if she wants to head out back since they had a live band. We leave, we order several rounds of drinks, we lightly brush up against each other and eventually we kiss. And then we kiss again. The band finishes their second (or maybe third) set and I ask her if she's ready to leave. I take her back to my place and the rest is history.

---------------------

And now that I type this out it's dawning on me that in both cases they technically approached me. They didn't ask for my number or offer to buy me a drink, they just showed a casual friendly interest and I didn't spend to much time trying to woo them with game because I figured anything I said after I had been given the green light was just gonna screw things up in the long run. I am not matinee idol handsome by any stretch.

I guess I've learned over time that what you say isn't nearly as important as what you don't say. If she's talking to you and engaging with you she likes you. If she's brushing up against you and sitting on your lap she really likes you. So I just shut my mouth and let the moment happen.

Yeah, those are my two stories. Nothing too wild in either instance.

Edit: grammar and spelling.

jax006 · 2022-01-28T23:44:12+00:00

3 out of 14 girls I've had sex with I met IRL.

Met girl at a bonfire party my paragliding club was having. I was easily the best looking dude there (most paragliders are middle aged) and said girl was looking for some dick, we banged in her tent later on.
Met ex girlfriend at my orientation at my job. We were friends for like 2.5 years and then one night were out drinking downtown and ended up making and and then having sex and then dating on and off for a while.
Met random girl while out paddleboarding, got her number "in case she wanted to paddleboard again" several weeks later we hooked up.

alfen-dave · 2022-01-29T18:44:06+00:00

Damn, any Incel, ForeverAlone or people who never got any action felt gloomy reading all those ''normies'' sex having posts.

I woke up happy this morning but now feeling depressed reading all this

TryLambda · 2022-01-28T21:36:39+00:00

Honestly Ive never had a lack of sex. If anything any time I've serious tried approaching women I've 90% of the time failed. Everytime I never seriously approached them they where interested.

Really at this point the game is too much for me

Swordfromthecement · 2022-01-29T02:14:19+00:00

Warm approach. I uhhhh showed an old friend/colleague from college that was in town a picture of my dick. I guess she was impressed and later that night we had sex. Hopefully that doesn’t sound too ridiculous 😂

The only other time was with a coworker who I felt like was giving me the signs, went in for a kiss and things happened from there.

Everything else was from online dating.

decoy88 · 2022-01-28T21:38:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

wtknight · 2022-01-28T21:30:06+00:00

This post is being allowed despite the no internal questions rule as the moderators have determined that it has a low risk of circlejerking.

2022-01-28T22:08:24+00:00

Well, I usually go and stand by the coffee machine where the pretty girls hangout, and then they start talking to me, and then I get their number and then go from there. I put myself in the periphery of the woman I am attracted to, that way I tend to not have to do a straight cold approach because they approach me casually. That’s been my success lately, anyway.

2022-01-28T22:28:38+00:00

Go for low-hanging fruit if you just want sex. So, gas stations, drive thru window, car washes.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-01-28T22:42:46+00:00

start to finish

I was in a another city for a finals game. After the game went out to party. On the way back to the hotel; notice two girls across the street. Stroll over to them and strike up a conversation. My ex gives me her number. The next morning I text her. Come to find out we were from the same city. Just serendipitously in the same street, in the same city of a few million people. At the same time. Truly lucky.

We were together for 6 years and share a child. One of the best blessings I’ll ever have.

Godspeed and good luck!

bonjarno65 · 2022-01-29T03:07:16+00:00

I back in my early-to-mid twenties I was decently successful at cold-approach in my opinion (like 3-4 girls a year just from cold approach) for a 5'8" average looking dude (I give myself a 7 out of 10 looks wise, though I did have decent muscle).

One example was when I went to a bar alone and started drinking, and approached some girl there with her friend. Her friend proceeded to encourage her to hang out w/ me (she found out I was going to graduate school for astronomy and thought it was attractive probably), and I bought them drinks and then we started dancing alot. Then I lead the girl back to my apt, and on the way there we started making out heavily, and she asked "what is this all about, why do you wanna take me back to your apt?" I responded by saying I really liked her and we started making out more and then I bent her over a car parked behind a bar and we started banging in literal public by a dumpster.

I remember her saying "oh my god" when we drunkenly realized we would've easily been spotted, and then I messed up one of my thrusts and poked her cervix a little, so it took her out of the moment (I remember thinking at the time damn I fucked it up woops!). Then right at that moment a waiter came out from a nearby restaurant and threatened to call the cops. So I took her back to the bar, and then peaced out. Never saw her again, and I don't actually think I would know what she looked like anymore (she was ~cute~ though like a 7/10 like me).

thatguyoverthere098 · 2022-01-29T04:20:11+00:00

Bars and parties work, only approach if I make eye contact or we’re sitting near by and they look bored or something and sometimes they come up to me. I have cold approached before and it sort of worked but I haven’t done that in years. Don’t want to be a burn, also it’s just not a good look. Work is a good place as well. Proximity and familiarity are the best but at bars and parties a quick hook up is more likely.

Talktomehudson · 2022-01-28T23:38:48+00:00

Treat women like people. I once tried my luck with a girl who was ( for my town) insanely popular, well known and liked by everyone. I got knocked back but accepted it. She was polite when she said no and was honest. Becasuse of the way I took the rejection we ended up with her friends and my friends spending the whole night out together, drinking, having fun, just forgetting about it.

I coasted off that for years, word got around about how me and my mates were great to hang around with and because she had a big social circle we got the reputation of being guys who were safe to be around and fun.

We would be out and her friends( friends from out of town also etc) would just come and chill with us straight away.

If a group of guys has women around them all the time( especially when we weren’t all sleeping together) we just seemed like a good option for women to feel comfortable coming to our group to talk to us.

I think that’s why I never went RP because I don’t think women are much different than guys.

They are just people.

Rejection is tough but it’s also tough on the woman who has to reject you. She doesn’t know how you’ll react.

React well and you’ll be fine .

Sad_Top1743 · 2022-01-28T21:59:32+00:00

Tinder matches when I was visiting a city. Just met for a drink and I seemed safe enough so we hooked up. Both of the women were below my “league” per se.

2022-01-29T01:23:17+00:00

I flat out don't approach or chase. I still get laid

Girls decide they like me, make it obvious and well, it happens.

Probably would happen more often if I put more effort, but I'm good

BlkSunShyn · 2022-01-29T03:49:02+00:00

She stalked me(legitimatly(her own words)). Stopped by my place to ask me out. Changed her own flat driving to meet me for dinner and was early. Waited patiently for me to marry her 9 years later.

I have. No. Approach.

2022-01-29T03:55:29+00:00

I don't approach woman. I let them approach me. If they don't, they aren't the one.

-passepar2t- · 2022-01-29T07:09:03+00:00

I dunno. I'd go to a party where there are a lot of people mingling, start talking to various people there as I make my way around the place, eventually I'd drift into conversations with some woman that seems receptive and from there, you flirt and escalate and shit.

roaming_bartender · 2022-01-29T07:28:32+00:00

Went to a bar with friends, wasnt a fan of their house drinks so I ask the bartender for a few cocktails I know. He didnt know them so i gave him the specs and told him to sample what he made for me with a straw. He took an interest in me every time id come to the bar and i quickly turned him into a bro.

The night stretches and my friends decide they want to leave but i see a beautiful girl sitting at the bar looking at the menu, unsure of what to order. I tell my friends I'm staying, walk up to her and give her a recommendation, my bartender bro chimes in and says my recommendation was great. We start to chat, flirt, then we walked back to my place not too far away, my apartment is one of the best bars in town after all, and the rest is a fun memory.

Its very simple: go outside, talk to a woman and if she wont engage you in conversation find another one who will. Thats all it is.

Gravel_Roads · 2022-01-29T12:57:15+00:00

I’ve never had success with cold approaches or OLD (I tried both at different times; it just requires way more effort and assertiveness than I’m up for.) Mostly I’ve hooked up with friends and friends of friends. The vertical fact that we got along prior to boning was essentially the screening process. Since I’m a casual free love artist, all my of my hook ups tended to be the same. Generally they weren’t repeated affairs, more moments of curiosity and opportunity. It has never affected my LTR’s. My current partner thinks my experience is hot. I learned some fun tricks. The human body is awesome 🤩

miminothing · 2022-01-29T13:45:56+00:00

So I’ve always had a lot of female friends. Warm approaches have worked really well for me because if a girl brings you around to her friend group you’re already “vetted” I guess. So her friends are going to trust you more, and be friendly and open with you.

In this scenario I’ve never really approached, just watched for signs. If a girl is talking to me for a long time, seems comfortable and kind of lingering with her gaze and body language, it’s usually a green light to go in for a kiss. Once you’ve kissed the biggest barrier is gone and you can directly ask “can we go to my place” or something of that ilk.

Jack_Fables · 2022-01-29T16:51:14+00:00

Learned to cold approach in my early twenties. I'm overly cerebral and can get awkward and clumsy if I'm trying to flirt, but I found this worked if I saw a cute girl and just walked up to them.

"Hey! Can I bother you for 2 seconds?"
"Sure"
"I saw you over there, thought you were really cute, and figured I'd come say Hi and see if you were cool."

It takes a lot of the awkwardness off for me because they know exactly what I'm up to and there's no confusion. Usually the audacity of it is enough to spark a good response.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-01-28T21:20:03+00:00

I'll do my two most serious relationships

LTR1: tail end of my sophomore year, going into spring break, my friend who was on the track team had a girlfriend and she brought her friend along who was a freshman on the softball team, and she was fucking hot, I still wanted to have fun on my spring break but wooing her also became a priority lol, she was a little hesitant at first but my humor and charm won her over, I enjoyed the time that we were able to get away from the rest of the group and just talk and have smoothies and shit like that, we fucked for the first time that Friday , I told her I loved her after like two weeks and we dated for almost the next 5 years

LTR2 (Current): met on hinge during the early stages of the pandemic, first date was coffee which she insisted on paying for, fine by me.

I didn't pay full attention to her profile so I found out she was transsexual on the date and that was always appealing to me but I never tried it , so that was one of those things where I didn't know how it would be but I wanted to try , the plan was always to be casual so we ended up fucking on our second date but slowly but surely it became very clear that we liked each other more then just the amazing sex we were having, we got (not legally) married this past October

Edit: I'll throw in a one night stand, so a few years ago I'm up in Massachusetts for a few days on business, and I see this absolutely delicious BBW working at Torrid oh, so I get to talkin with her and I tell her that my girlfriend which I didn't have it the time has measurements pretty similar to her so I just basically asked her what she liked as far as style and I surprise bought the outfit for her and told her to meet me for dinner when she got off, we had a very pleasant meal, met for a nightcap in my room and we had a very passionate couple of days she actually kept up very well cardio wise lol

TryLambda · 2022-01-29T00:14:00+00:00

When da heck did the Purple pill turn in an advice column for wannabe PUA??

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Slootando · 2022-01-28T22:39:17+00:00

When I was younger, more warm or quasi-warm approaches at parties, and cold approaches at bars/clubs. Sometimes classmates/coworkers. As time went on, more OLD and social media, and basically no more warm or even quasi-warm opportunities. Occasional but very rare conversions from "normal" settings like malls or the street.

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ShinyBronze · 2022-01-28T23:20:32+00:00

About a third of the time hanging out drinking with a friend and one thing leads to another. This has led to one night stands, an on and off FWB thing that lasted a little while, and one LTR that led to marriage, kids, and divorce.

Another third of the time, striking up a conversation with a stranger or friend of a friend at a bar or party, swapping socials, later going out for drinks one on one and going home to have sex. This has led to some ONS and brief flings and one relationship that lasted about a year.

The other third of the time it's been OLD, which has led to mostly ONS, one casual thing that lasted a few months, and one good LTR that I'm still in.

I've been approached by women in public a bunch of times, at the store, in line for food, etc but it's never lead anywhere because it's always happened while I've been in a relationship. I've never built up the nerve to approach in those kind of situations myself. I definitely need a few drinks in me.

cloudydays84 · 2022-01-28T23:23:53+00:00

One of the girls in my friend group who I'd only know for look a year, started to get into anime. I told her the classic Ghibli stuff was some of the best, and I invited her to my place to watch Princess Mononoke.

After the movie waa over we went into my room to smoke and talk, she started to get flirty and asked me if I thought she was cute, I obviously said yes then we ended up making out and having sex. She ended being my FWB for about 5 months after that.

I don't know if I can even count this as an "approach" because I genuinely was not planning to sleep with her, I just like Princess Mononoke and it's better with company. I chalk the situation up to luck more than anything.

2022-01-28T23:47:44+00:00

I've got too many to list so I'm just going to break it down into categories and give some general trends. These numbers are far from exact I do know my overall body count is about 30 but no clue the distribution

Online (not what you asked): 10-15ish

Parties: I frequently hosted parties throughout my life, and was in a fraternity and invited lots of people (and girls) to our parties. I had an LTR for about half this time and she was super hot so good preselection. Plus I'm funny and attractive. Probably about 10 of my bangs here.

College class: I always liked school so I'm an active participant, and I have a way of presenting keen insight in a comedic manner. A lot of girls both opened me, or I warm opened them. From there I'd look them up on social media (if you're not attractive this is considered creepy), add them, invite them to do something. Got about 5 this way. One of the 5 actually was the one who slid in my DMs first.

*Note: I'm 24, not 22 or under like these suggest. I've just been pretty sexually inactive lately the last 365 days. Lol. You'll also notice I list "parties" and not "bars and clubs." Literally never been to a club, and been to bars less than 10 times. I blow at bars/clubs--which is why I say my preselection was fasho doing work for me in the party scene.

JasonWuzHear · 2022-01-29T00:20:46+00:00

I was high and made a joke about a sausage I was about to eat. Saw her giving me a winky face and then we started making out. This was someone I lived with and we never had done anything before.

ShinyBronze · 2022-01-29T00:27:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Gigamon2014 · 2022-01-29T02:13:52+00:00

I cold approached when I was single all the time. I think I can only think of two times back in 2020 when it didn't work. The gym was my go to. I always go up straight and say "I don't think I've seen you before" and then go from there. Make a conversation about what their workout goals are and keep it brief. I NEVER ask for a number the first time. Ever. That looks desperate. If its the gym then it's inevitable I will see them again. It also taught me to NEVER to listen to anyone who tell me looks don't matter. Of all the times I cold approached in the gym, I can think of 3 times it didn't work. And the two of the ones I mentioned last year weren't even rejections, I simply did my usual approach and saw them the next day and they seemed a little less keen to speak. In situations like this I let go and move on to the next. It's important to NEVER persist with someone you don't have 100% confirmed interest from. In all I've probably slept with at least 10 women I cold approached at the gym alone.

I must admit though. The more successful the approach, the less likely it was said girl was giving me "cues". Especially when sober. I don't really count bar approaches as cold approaches because alcohol makes it stupidly easy. My girl bans me from going bars alone because its a recipe for bullshit. But I've noticed when it comes to approaching during the day, the less cues a woman gives you, the more likely she is to be keen. If anything the girls who stare at me tend to be a waste of time. Funny how life is.

2022-01-29T02:40:59+00:00

Strike up conversation about whatever interesting thing is going on. If they seem interested, ask for their number. Date.

No idea if the world still works like that though

Justask4it · 2022-01-29T02:53:19+00:00

I like C🐓hicken

2022-01-29T03:49:15+00:00

So, my stories are a little different, because I had the most sex and sexual opportunities when I went from identifying as a man to identifying as non-binary, poly, and a poet. There was an open mike or two at which I gained a good reputation, and every now and then a beautiful older woman would talk to me, and I’d talk/flirt with her back, and after hanging out a few times, we’d have sex. The approaches were luke-warm (sometimes they approached me directly, sometimes I went to and talked to them) because they new me by stage presence, but never before that night. They never lasted long term or developed into relationships, mostly I think because they weren’t looking for a ONS necessarily, but something slightly longer, like a momentary, few day or week fling.

What I gathered from a lot of that is that most of having casual sex IRL is a mix of luck and scenery; in other words, most of the work seems to be prep work, as in you happen to be the right kind of person someone’s looking for (in my scenarios, it was younger, artsy, and less traditionally masculine but still man-like), and you don’t do weird things that turn them off (which, for me in those instances, would have just been not trying to develop anything with them after they showed initial interest). That being said, how you seem does play a large part of it. If I wasn’t good enough as a poet in that scene, they probably wouldn’t have noticed me or cared in the first place.

2022-01-29T03:50:45+00:00

Mostly successful online. I was heavily into the bar scene in my city, so flirting and make out sessions happened but it rarely went anywhere else. One of my exes, i met in a social gathering. Friend of a friend.

At first we were mutual friends but two years later we met again after i lost weight and got more comfortable in social situations. I also had a pretty sociable job that helped me as well. The very day we reconnected, i started light flirting with her at the bar, after a while she actually gave me a hard IOI that i couldn’t ignore. Stepped up and the rest was history.

Funny thing about old , is that even though i believe it’s stacked in favor of women and men shouldn’t bother using it as a reliable tool to date; i made most of my dating milestones from there.

iambabyshark · 2022-01-29T04:19:48+00:00

I very rarely cold approach (talk to a stranger completely randomly) but if a girl's near me and keeps glancing at me I'll open. A girl was in line ordering a drink, she was glancing at me and I noticed she was getting the same thing I was. I said "Finally, someone with some taste around here" and held up my drink. She laughed, I smiled and joked that she was just trying to impress me by ordering it. She laughed again and denied it. While her drink was being made she asked me if I was a regular (me and the bartender were chatting right before) and I said I was actually a fulltimer. She got her drink and said she was sitting at a table with her friend. I asked if she was trying to get more of my humor out of me and she said maybe. I go over, keep joking around, making her laugh. Ask her a bit about herself, tell her a bit about myself. I end up going home but she offers her snap.

My takeaway is just to have fun. Leave girls better than you found them. Don't get hung up on not immediately having her sit in your lap. Instead just look to meet new people, if they fit well with you, great. If not, take it as an experience meeting someone different.

Skycat9 · 2022-01-29T04:22:23+00:00

I was on my way home from a party, rather high. It was around 10am on a Sunday. I saw this cute girl on a morning shop to the market and made the excuse of asking for a cigarette to talk to her. We got chatting, and somehow my conversation was waaay above what it normally is. We flirted intensely, got a coffee, and then after that she came back to mine and we fucked. Never saw her again

smarmycheesesandwich · 2022-01-29T07:56:47+00:00

Asked a friend if I could bang her friend. She asked and the girl said “yeah.” My friend even hung out with us and drank until we felt comfortable. My friend was a real one, tbh.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-01-29T08:35:15+00:00

Saw a cute girl standing at the bar waiting for a drink. Cute, but she seemed within my league, with a decent chance of their being mutual attraction.

I went to the bar and stood beside her, ostensibly to order a drink myself. Asked her some question related to something relevant I cannot remember, like whether she was with the bachelorette party that was there, or was a fan of whatever sports team had won that night and was celebrating, etc. Don't remember what she said specifically, but she engaged in conversation. Was prepared to walk away immediately if she didn't start engaging enthusiastically.

We started talking. Over time, I looked for signs that she was not just enjoying the conversation but had some interest. Asked her to dance. Moved it to the dance floor. Started slow, with the "just having fun vibe". Moved it to the "I'm attracted and interested, but all good if you aren't" vibe--not all handsy or shit. Waited to see if she sent back similar signals. It slowly escalated on the dance floor. More drinks and talking later. Introduced her to my friends. Met her friends. My friends met her friends. More dancing. Dancing later escalated more. Eventually wnet to the 'want to have a few more drinks at my place move'. We left early-ish to do so, letting me tell my friends and her tell her friends. Everybody is 'wink. wink. nudge. nudge.' but we were adults, and it was funny and nobody gave a shit. Still, by passing it by everyone there was a chance for friends to intervene if they thought it was necessary. So this provided a feeling of safety to her, IMO. That was usually my MO. If there was some reason she shouldn't be doing what she was doing, I wanted every chance for someone who cared about her to stop it.

It had been clear for a while that this wasn't something with long term prospects for either of us. But not in a bad way. I believe she was leaving the city soon. Ended up at my place. Had drinks. Escalated easily. Had sex. Made her breakfast. Put her in a cab. Texted a bit in days after to kinda de-escalate. Eventually texts stopped, but not in a bad way. I think she left the city a week or two later. I was teaching English in Seoul, Korea at the time. So was she, but at the end of her contract. Either going home home, or on to another city.

Prismatic_Symphony · 2022-01-29T09:45:34+00:00

All my sex has been in LTR's, so while the quantity has been lower than I'd like, I think the quality of my sex has been on the higher side. My approaches were all or mostly also long-term/slow burn. It took at least a few months building up rapport by phone (half of my relationships have been long-distance) or in-person hangouts. None of them were someone I immediately "targeted," but rather, someone with whom I was pleasantly surprised to find a rapport growing. So my "approach" hasn't been very direct, I guess. But I am a natural flirt and enjoy wordplay, so I have fun with innunendo, especially once I feel sure they're into me. Most of my gfs I met the first time on the social dance floor, so I was able to show some skill in that right off the bat, and being one who teaches and leads workshops occasionally gives me a small bit of status in those circles, so that may help as an attractant too.

So I haven't been super aggressive in the pursuit of sex. Nor am I rich or tall, so it's probably due to a good helping of dumb luck that I've gotten any action at all. It does help that in general I'm naturally a patient person, preventing me from getting easily sexually frustrated.

2022-01-29T10:11:24+00:00

See guy at gym. Guy sees me. We nod. Get a bj in the shower. Results may vary with women.

TP_Crisis_2020 · 2022-01-29T11:03:18+00:00

She was wearing a shirt that said "I like big butts and taco trucks", and I just hit her with a "nice shirt". Was with her for almost 3 years.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2022-01-29T15:16:53+00:00

I was at an art festival and a guy had a table with oak tree saplings. He was giving them away. Later, as I was walking back to my car I swung by the table and saw there was just one left, ask him if I can have it; he hands it to me.

I hear a sigh and turn around. The girl behind me had wanted the tree and I just got the last one.

So, I hold it up high and pretend like I'm keeping it away from her. She immediately plays along, pretending to try to grab it - and here I'll say that as a general principle, you should look for opportunities to flirt and be playful or funny, and if the girl engages, well that's a good sign. If she doesn't (and god help you if she doesn't even laugh) there is no point in trying to continue. Shoot your shot, but don't pester.

Anyway, I gave her the tree (and of course, I would have given it away no matter who wanted it or what their reaction was), and we spend the rest of the day and through the weekend together. She was a really great person.

ragman75 · 2022-01-29T17:22:08+00:00

So there was this one girl that was an 8 who had previously indicated she was down to fuck(literally sent me nudes) but I was never in the city or I was busy. Finally I get some time so I take her out on a date, but she says shes going to club later that night with some friends, me thinking that it was an inv ask if I can come, she says yes.

During the night I waste a bunch of money buying her drinks, we also get to talking with another group of people who were really cool in one of the smoking areas, however the girl i came with becomes really distant toward the end of the night. I ask her "what's up i thought you where down to fuck later, why are you being so distant" and she basically tells me that she thought we were only friends, so I leave immediately and go home.

When I get home a realise Im still drunk and I that I bought the ticket for the club so I may as well enjoy myself. So I go back and try to find the group of people I was talking to in the smoking area. Turns out that group was actually 2 groups that met in the club much like how my group met theirs, anyway the 1/2 I found was just one of the girls and her gay friend so I hang with them. Both are really cool people, the girl is really hot and I end up fucking her 2 days later.

KJ1017 · 2022-01-30T00:13:00+00:00

Partying. Twerk song comes on. Walk up behind woman to catch some ass, usually they, look back, and if what they like what they see they’ll continue shaking ass.

After I peep that shorty is fucking with a nigga I just chop it up with her on some completely unrelated shit and grab her number. Then I continue to move thru the party with my guys because I’m smashed and need to be around them.

Usually girls will end up conveniently close when next twerk or grind song comes on, go over there dance again, ask what she’s getting into after, and then usually we arraign to leave the function with our people and I’ll get her a Uber to my spot.

2022-01-30T12:24:30+00:00

30F, UK.

He's DJing at a rave in the woods that my friends and I set up. After his set, I approach him and tell him how much I enjoyed it. We don't speak the rest of the night, but three months later I bump into him in town. We swap numbers and I invite him for a drink, we start flirting and eventually dating. After the third date he tells me he likes me and leans in for a kiss. We hook up and dates for four years.
I'm in a different town and I'm on the dancefloor watching this cool gypsy-swing band. I see a guy dancing and we make eye contact and dance near each other. We swap numbers and I explain I'm only in this town for the night. We meet up at another club later on, he tells me I'm very attractive, we kiss and he comes to my friends to hook up. After that we become long distance fuck buddies for a year or so.
I'm at a festival and in the morning I'm on the phone to the last guy. I walk around the tents and I tell the guy on the phone how I took some acid, had a bad trip and pissed in a cup in my tent which spilled over. A few hours later, I'm walking around the campsite and see two guys. They say 'oh you're pissy cup lady!' We joke and I end up going up with one of the guys. We spend the day together and one of the guys and myself hit it off. He leans in to kiss me, we hook up later and whilst we weren't BF/GF material, we are now good friends.
Bump into a guy at a festival. Were adamant we know each other and find put were from the same town. I get up and go, and don't see him again for months. Then I'm at a beach party and he approaches me "Hey you're that girl I met at a festival, I wanted to get your number but didn't have a chance."

I smile and he asks to kiss me. We kiss and I eventually go back to his. We hook up on two different occasions and he starts flaking out on me. I end up meeting someone else.

Electrical_Coat_8714 · 2022-01-30T13:10:49+00:00

Yeah I never approached a woman, my few relationships have both escalated from friendship.

The first time I 'confessed' in the dumbest way possible She was play flirting with me, which she always did because she was just one those ig, and I said, "damn, when are we gonna fuck already" she said it was "highly offensive", I was broken up about it and the she called and said she really didn't know how to respond in that moment and she didn't think I felt that way about her. We date and the story ends tragically.

My current gf was my coworker not too long ago, and it started with her grabbing my attention often for small talk and exchanging interests, invited me out with some friends and eventually we just had one of those moments where I couldn't hold back a kiss and hoped she'd want it too. Still going, hopefully I don't lose this one, love her to bits.

Title	Q4Men who have sex, please share your story of successful IRL approaches
Author	decoy88
Upvotes	37
Comments	197
Date	January 28, 2022 9:03 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sf0of1/q4men_who_have_sex_please_share_your_story_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-who-have-sex-please-share-your-story-of.1211370 https://theredarchive.com/post/1211370

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