What does the "average man's" standards look like? And the "average woman's"?

NockerJoe · 2022-12-25T00:33:55+00:00

One thing I've picked up on after trying out dating apps again is most people have reasonable standards, it's just they aren't the same standards. A lot of people are sober and don't want a partner that drinks at all. A lot of people are of a specific religion and want someone of that religion. A lot of people want someone they can go to events and parties with an all that entails. Some people just wanna stay in and play board games. None of those things are wrong but their ideal partners are all going to be very different people.

In an insular society where people mostly live in set communities with a specific lifestyle as an ideal this isn't nearly as big of an issue since most of these things would be presumed but in the modern world the actual logistics of finding someone who's life lines up with yours like that is probably harder than ever.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2022-12-25T01:19:49+00:00

Non smoker, college educated, no kids, actually single

That’s what I wanted

Philip8000 · 2022-12-25T00:50:33+00:00

My standards are fairly low: I don't want to deal with drug and alcohol abuse. Went through that with a family member for many years and refuse to go through it again. I don't care about past promiscuity, and as for weight... doesn't bother me if she's a bit chubby, but if we're talking 300-350 pounds, that would make it more difficult. I'm overweight myself, albeit much less so than years ago, so perhaps this is hypocritical of me.

AutomaticMeaning3844 · 2022-12-25T00:24:59+00:00

Most woman are born meeting the average man's standards. Women have to screw up in some way or go out of their way to not meet them.

Not fat
Not crazy
Not trashy
Not slutty
Not mean

grandvizierofswag · 2022-12-25T04:03:37+00:00

Can’t speak for women but as a 22M, my minimum standards are:

Goes to the gym and eats healthy
Responsible, financially and behaviorally
College educated or otherwise able to distinguish herself as intelligent
6/10
Kind spirited
Sense of humor

Ideal:

7/10+
5’7” so there isn’t a ridiculous height gap between us
$60k+ salary
Shares my tastes/preferences
Comes from a good family

bodaciousbonsai · 2022-12-25T07:25:07+00:00

An average man's standards are equal to the most attractive woman he can sleep with. For an average woman, the most attractive man she can get to commit to a relationship.

Thinking we can get anything above that is a fool's errand.

NinjaOfTheSouth · 2022-12-25T00:39:55+00:00

An average man standards is usually what he can get. Since women don’t genuinely desire, the average man he’s going to have to attempt to get a woman that would like him .

Now, for women’s standards, they’re gonna wanna man that’s stronger taller makes more money, capable competence, has style, good sex.

The reason it’s like this is because of how attraction works between the sexes.

obviousredflag · 2022-12-25T09:38:38+00:00

People don't like to hear this, but your standards adapt to your own mate value. Some people have problems understanding their own mate value, some people have problems understanding other people's mate value. But most of the people know pretty damn well what they can get and that this is exactly what they can offer.

The problem seem to be also about larger portions of the population not being physically attracted to their equals anymore, but being told that they deserve someone they are attracted to. Stop being fat, guys and girls.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-12-25T05:02:14+00:00

I think both's standards must be inflated because you have multiple threads here stating average men are unattractive or men are more unattractive than women. I used to put a lot of stock in the 80/20 thing until I started seeing men critique women's looks on reddit. Then I realized everyone is delusional. I think we are so immersed in advertising and media from cradle to the grave that we think models and celebrities are average.

We are so saturated with media that our greatest drive isn't to reproduce it's to consume in order to be happy (or at least not be shunned). And the first image that comes to mind for "average" (male or female) is a model, and anything sub-average is, well, a failure.

PirateDocBrown · 2022-12-25T00:33:17+00:00

The classic is the six-six-six guy.
Six feet tall, six pack abs, six figure income.

I want zero-zero-zero woman
Zero debt, zero kids, size zero dress.

Lovers691 · 2022-12-25T01:12:18+00:00

Minimum standard for dating seriously:

Biologically female
Not overweight(BMI 24 or less)
Not older than me by more than 5 years
No facial tatoos
Low body count(10+ is too high, if you were an escort I can bend this rule)
Not too much debt
No addictions
Don't be racist
Be at least a 4 on the looks scale

Also this is a black thing but as a black woman don't refer to me as a nigga

Sex/hookup:

At least a 4
Not obese(less than 30 BMI)
biologically female

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-12-25T01:21:59+00:00

The thing about men is average is dead. It's a bimodal distribution like school with large % of students just passing and another getting high marks from trying.

Men either pass or fail more often nowadays. It's almost like 2 different species hard to average beta and alpha together. Like saying what's the average food budget for a pet, when people have cats and dogs.

Women are more clustered around the mean. Men are the experimental gender.

Another thing is time is a factor. Women when young have different standards vs when feeling time pressure in their 30s. IME.

Glittering-Roll-9432 · 2022-12-25T02:04:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

suj1290 · 2022-12-25T03:52:01+00:00

Avg guy requirement

Don't be mean Don't have high n count Don't be fat Be loyal Don't have babies from other men

Avg women requirement

Physically attractive Extrovert guy Guy capable of having high n count but doesn't have out of choice but also has atleast 3 4 partners before Have thick/good hair Taller than her Have a higher paying job than her

OrdinaryFarmer · 2022-12-25T07:09:39+00:00

Average man's standards:

Don't be fat, don't be a whore. If neither, that's okay.

Average woman's standards:

Be at least 6ft tall, have at least a 6 inch dick, make at least 6 figures at job, have a low body fat percentage and be somewhat muscular, don't have bad skin or acne, don't be bald or balding, have your own place, have your own car, have an interesting job rather than be some stem nerd, be intelligent but not so much that you are a nerd, have an interesting passion/hobby but not one that is nerdy or lame like D&D, have sexual experience, have relationship experience, be social and have a big group of friends but be willing to not spend time with them, don't be shy, be able to hold a conversation while she gives 1 word answers, be funny, be charismatic, have the right "vibe".

GhostofCamus · 2022-12-25T03:19:38+00:00

Full disclosure, I'm unqualified to answer. For better, and worse, I'm nothing like average, and neither are the women I fancy. That said, I don't think your average person actually knows their own standards in very concrete terms. You hit the same issue as qualitative utilitarians where measuring overall good is too subjective to apply a hard number to it. Sometimes you think you have a standard, and somebody pulls it down to where you overlook it. Other times your standards will be raised by somebody exceptional, and you'll look for similarities to them in future partners. Then one day you meet someone who comes at you with shit so crooked that you invent new standards for stuff you didn't think even needed to be discussed in a developed civilization.

Bandit174 · 2022-12-25T06:07:35+00:00

Men's standards

5'0 to 5'7
not fat
not a slut
medium boobs
medium butt

Women's standards

>= 5'10 but ideall over 6'
somewhere between swimmers physique and marvel physique
>6 inches but ideally 7 inch dick
>75k but ideally over 100k
no receeding hairline

Jakersstone · 2022-12-25T13:29:04+00:00

Women: 6666 rule

Men: Not fat, big boobs, big ass, pretty

learn2earn89 · 2022-12-25T01:13:15+00:00

I see average men and women together every day of my life. They desire each other I suppose.

Barneysparky · 2022-12-25T00:43:45+00:00

Average men and women meet, they like each others company and find each other attractive, then they date.

LupeDyCazari · 2022-12-25T02:47:09+00:00

Under 6 feet outside of The Netherlands/Germany/Scandinavian nations.

Not overweight.

Not muscular.

not balding or bald.

Not ugly.

Broke, usually lives with parents or with roomates despite being in their 20s or being old men in their 30s.

Most of these guys are dating slim, stylish, pretty women. Hooking-up with them too, one-night stands and all that.

I've lived in over 50 foreign nations and I've seen and experienced the same. As long as the guy isn't 5 feet tall, or objectively ugly, or fat, it's really not that hard to get a conventionally attractive, young girlfriend even if you don't make that much money.

The average woman around here, and in the Countries I've lived in, are about 5'7'' and 110lbs to 130lbs, and pretty. The shorter ones weight less. There are taller women but they don't really weight that much more than the 5'7'' women.

I haven't seen a fat chick in about 6 months.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2022-12-25T09:44:46+00:00

man: sex and maid services, will raise his kids and support him

woman: security and a father to raise the children with, a partner of equal measure.

Men expect to contribute labor/salary and think that is enough.

Narrator's voice; it is not enough by her standards.

despisedlove2 · 2022-12-25T09:57:19+00:00

The average man is a BP simp. He doesn't have any.

West-Ad-9697 · 2022-12-25T19:13:07+00:00

I don't think attractiveness matters if the chemistry is there. THe issue is that with the art of female seduction being burned down and pissed on, without a certain je ne sais quoi? - all women have to get men to act and start the interaction is T&A, and maybe a insult to their masculinity if they don't get the telepathic hints and aroused by the square footage of skin on display.

No man cares about social status, wealth or career- we would trade all that for a nice easy going personality and a family builder frugal mindset.

They are useful qualities, definitely - but it's not something that gets us of the couch and makes us say to the bros - See that CEO - I'm gonna put a ring on that.

AgentWellenstein · 2022-12-26T14:30:00+00:00

I feel like most women basically aren't interested in most men at all. Meanwhile most men would be happy with like 95% of women on the planet.

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SoldierExcelsior · 2022-12-25T07:10:23+00:00

My standards.No drug users no smokers no alcoholics no atheist no single moms or women with children.No liers or manipulators.No felons excons or anyone involved in nefarious activities like scaming or drug dealing.

As far as looks Adrianna Lima comes to mind.and she has to cook

AmericanCows · 2022-12-25T19:39:32+00:00

Most men will pretty much sleep with anything.

That said, for a man to commit, I think most men really place value on just a few things; being fit/putting in effort, not much baggage, and being pleasant/ not incredibly annoying. Also not too much in student loans if they got a useless degree.

anon-sucks · 2022-12-25T21:58:14+00:00

In shape, good hygiene and a major emphasis on character. I don’t care much about her career at all so long as she’s never been a sex worker.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-12-25T22:07:31+00:00

I don’t think it’s possible to pin down an “average” in this regard. I’d say most average people don’t want someone who is morbidly obese or unemployed. But otherwise, people tend to end up with someone fairly similar to them in terms of income, looks, socioeconomic status, values, religion, etc., regardless of what they may say they want or don’t want.

gate18 · 2022-12-25T23:56:05+00:00

Unfortunately, there's no such thing!

We pretend they exist so that then we have something to work with but it doesn't exist.

Yes, we might have a list. "I want thin women that are shorter than me, that's funny, that has a college education..."

Yet, I could easily believe I'd fall for a larger woman that's taller than me and doesn't have a degree.

If you ask people they will give you boring/predictable lists but then if you meet them later in life they aren't with people that meet those criteria

To keep up the illusion different pillers will tell you that these people are settling, or dating up, down, left, right, all to give the illusion that there's science behind people's emotions.

RGL137 · 2022-12-26T07:36:17+00:00

I feel like you have to have very little pride or self respect as a man to reliably date in this day and age. I’ve noticed I have no real issue getting an opportunity with many women, the only problem is those women are typically overweight and/or single moms, and/or have serious red flags.

For me to get anything approaching my actual standards and desires (reasonably fit and healthy, cute, fun, loyal) I typically have to go months between serious dating and sometimes have absolutely no prospects at all for those months.

2022-12-27T21:45:39+00:00

Average women want men taller than them, fit and with a constant income. Os it fair? Not. Given how they’re wired for a short time of fertility or being youthful, I would say its equitable though

Title	What does the "average man's" standards look like? And the "average woman's"?
Author	brilliant22
Upvotes	27
Comments	252
Date	December 25, 2022 12:03 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zum6ve/what_does_the_average_mans_standards_look_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-does-the-average-mans-standards-look-like-and.1213397 https://theredarchive.com/post/1213397

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