I am a 33-year-old male who has recently stumbled upon some contradicting information regarding my girlfriend's past divorce, and I'm in dire need of advice on how to digest this new reality.
A bit of background: We have been together for a year, during which she has consistently portrayed her ex-husband as a lazy, unfaithful man whom she never loved. She painted a picture of him cheating on her with a close friend, never apologizing, and treating her poorly, while she supposedly was the only one putting in the work.
However, after going through her old Google Drive (I admit this is wrong on my part), I've discovered that the truth isn't exactly as she described. I found saved text messages where she referred to her ex as "my soul mate and true love". Her friend did apologize and tried to encourage her ex-husband to be honest with her. There were also mentions of her being physically afraid of her ex, contrary to what she told me. Furthermore, she pleaded with him to stay with her for almost a year, even though she told me she was the one who wanted the divorce.
Another point of concern is that her ex cited reasons for the divorce that mirror some issues I've noticed in our relationship. She often has a self-centered attitude, argues to win rather than to solve problems, and puts herself first. None of these are deal-breakers on their own, but I can't help but worry that they might wear on my mental health over time.
I understand that my actions in breaching her privacy were wrong, but the bell can't be unrung, and now I am struggling with this newfound knowledge. I am unsure whether to view this as her trying to save face, or as serious misrepresentation that could have implications for our relationship. I would appreciate any advice on how to interpret this and how to approach her about it. Thank you in advance.
TL;DR: Discovered discrepancies in my girlfriend's account of her past divorce after going through her old Google Drive. She had downplayed her feelings for her ex and the nature of their breakup. Some issues her ex cited for the divorce resemble minor problems in our current relationship. Need advice on whether this is serious misrepresentation or her saving face, and how to approach her about it.
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