How would you design an online dating app to make it a good experience for both men and women?

Aafan_Barbarro · 2023-10-03T11:53:22+00:00

No swiping or matching, but improved searching. You create a profile, fill it with information, and then you can search for people and message them. Someone messages you first, you may respond or not, if not, they disappear after some time. It's fair as it can be, but would it work? Probably not.

Fearless_Method_1682 · 2023-10-03T11:38:48+00:00

You can only talk to one person at a time, you have a cooldown before you can switch to a new person. All other dating apps are banned.

ta06012022 · 2023-10-03T11:59:43+00:00

This would reduce the frustration men experiment when using online dating and would give more exposure to men who aren't top 20%.

Why would women want to join an app that shows them less attractive men than existing apps?

MasterTeacher123 · 2023-10-03T12:19:22+00:00

You know how in politics they always talk about the “enthusiasm gap”? Where one side is way more interested in going out to vote than the others? It’s like that in dating. I don’t think there’s any app that can be created that will make women want men more than vice versa. It will always a be a massive Sausage fest

WebBorn2622 · 2023-10-03T12:27:14+00:00

I like what you have so far; I think I would add safety measures:

actual employees who can be made to look through the conversation and ban people (temporarily or permanently) after reporting
no one with sex crimes in their criminal record can sign up

AceOfSpadesGymBro · 2023-10-03T11:55:06+00:00

You guys are hilarious, instead of worrying how to be competitive in the dating market, you are looking for a way to institute dating communism. Everyone gets according to their needs and everyone gives according to their abilities.

MajesticMaple · 2023-10-03T11:55:44+00:00

men can only get a maximum amount of likes per day, once that amount of likes has been reached, they are invisible until next day

But then the best men would be invisible to most women. Women are going to think the men on this app are lower quality than on other apps that don't do this. Therefore even less women will use this app when OLD is already very imbalanced.

l00ks-p1lled · 2023-10-03T12:14:14+00:00

Your suggestions are well thought. I'd add that to truly work every country should ban other dating apps and that the number of likes received in order to become invisible should be dependent on the gender ratio of the app.

Also I'd add the option that once a month men can send likes to women to spice things up, however the number of likes should be higher if women ignore you and lower if women message you regularly

Btw let's not fool ourselves, it wouldn't actually work. if this was the only app available women would hookup IRL and stay away from the app

Curious_Attention719 · 2023-10-03T11:15:12+00:00

The biggest problem is the ratio of men to women on these apps. Just shows the dynamics of intersexual relationships. It's a lot easier for a straight woman of most physical attractiveness levels to get someone in bed versus straight men. It's not a coincidence that recent studies show more unpartnered men than women.

neverendingplush · 2023-10-03T14:10:44+00:00

This all sounds stupid and just seems like a way for sexually unattractive men to control the dating scene. Tinder, hinge, bumble, whatever the fuck are all just tools. If women dont want you on those apps then what makes you think its going to be different on any other app. It just is what it fucking is. And dont say get out and touch grass, the same women outside you see in every day life are the ones swiping for a few minutes when they take a piss. There is no difference. Learn to accept what is, or make yourself more sexually attractive.

wtknight · 2023-10-03T12:06:29+00:00

I don’t think that it’s possible. Something that is more like a typical bar experience where anyone can chat with anyone else favors men more and means that women are more open to harassment from men who do that kind of thing. Swipe apps favor women and high value men, but even many women don’t like the experience all that much once they meet men who end up using them.

Women would most likely rather just meet men from social experiences in the outside world, or meet friends of friends. Dating apps are mostly a scam to make money from desperate men.

OpticalEpilepsy · 2023-10-03T12:16:51+00:00

I'd have a bot look for unwanted dick pics and other unreported disrespectful messages that men send to women which discourages women from using dating apps to suspend or ban the men that do that. Only once a meaningful percentage of men don't use dating apps because of disrespectful messages from women will I make a bot to catch the inverse

I don't know how practical it would be but ideally I'd want to suspend and for repeat offenders ban by device so people that scam or are disrespectful can't easily make another account. The junk profiles and behavior on dating apps is unnaceptable.

I'd like to sort men by right swipe percentage, then sort women by swipe percentage and prioritize the profiles that are shown to men by percentile. This doesn't mean that a woman whom 80% of men right swipe on her would be shown to a man whom 80% of women right swipe on him. It would mean a woman who is in the 80th percentile of women by what percentage of men right swipe on women would be first shown to a man who is in the 80th percentile of men by what percentage of women right swipe on men. This is so the men that women are least interested in are first shown to women the men are least interested in. Only once men are equally as likely to have a problem with too many unwanted likes will I have the percentile match for women too.

A problem with this is the men that will complain about the high prevalence of "land whales" and other disparaging terms for women they aren't interested in but it's pointless to show them women that are more likely to left swipe on them at the same rates as women that are less likely.

Safinated · 2023-10-03T13:47:43+00:00

Your hypothetical is called bumble, if I’m not mistaken. Probably app #2 behind Tinder

People still prefer tinder because of volume and ease. It’s a numbers game that follows the rule that bigger is better

SmallSituation6432 · 2023-10-03T14:01:32+00:00

Yes of course, one of the first two rules needs to specifically limit women's ability to engage with certain men (that aren't you) and disadvantage those men relative to others (you) by literally hiding their profile from potential partners. All for one and one for FUCK YOU CHAD!

More generally, how are there still people that think technology will offer the best solution to every problem?

not-a-dude-at-all · 2023-10-03T14:21:39+00:00

I wouldn't because it isn't possible. I'd created app that allows you to find good places to socialize. If I still need to create such app then it should cost money upfront from both genders and heavily moderated.

Dertross · 2023-10-03T14:26:43+00:00

It can't be done. It's logically incoherent.

You are the equivalent of a communist wanting to control market prices but somehow leaving both the buyer and seller happy.

All the suggestions I've ever seen in these kind of discussions just choke the interplay between supply and demand, which is just going to result in women being even more conservative since they have few options.

If women can't get ego boosts or Chad they'll just leave. It almost doesn't matter what the men are doing, as long as there's Chads on the app to keep the women around ( which keeps the men in general around ).

IFightingFrogsI · 2023-10-03T12:40:14+00:00

How would you design an online dating app to make it a good experience for both men and women?

Make all the men on the App, tall and good looking

neverendingplush · 2023-10-03T14:34:12+00:00

This is the most self defeating cucked thread of comments I have ever seen on this subreddit. I fucking love competition, and have never once told myself that that dating should be easier and that women's standards should come to "reality. That is their choice to make, and if they don't find you attractive, well fuck, thats on you to work on it. But no amount of mental gymnastics and longing for decades you never existed in , is going to change female nature. They are who they are, and they arent objects for you to own. I dont blame Jeff Bezos , the government , any system for why I dont drive a Lamborghini. I blame myself. Everything I lack in my life has been a call to challenge to make it my own duty to achieve these things, not expect some stupid fucking app, handout, whatever the fuck to make my desires reality. Y'all gotta stop drinking water from plastic bottles, chemical is fucking up the testosterone levels.

supremethrone · 2023-10-03T11:50:49+00:00

You can't. It's inherently impossible. Women like the current status of dating apps because of the power it gives them. If you designed an app good for men then women would never use it since they couldn't extort any benefit from it

Ok_Bear976 · 2023-10-03T12:33:02+00:00

a mandatory IQ and EQ test you have to do to be able to use the app

Workaholiconew · 2023-10-03T12:36:30+00:00

I wouldnt.

I dont think there is a way to do that.

People will always want more.

orbstnedifnocdesab · 2023-10-03T15:17:04+00:00

AI rating your face. if the AI deems your face a 6/10 you will only see profile with 6-5/10 facial rating

ryandiy · 2023-10-03T15:48:37+00:00

Here's an important anti-scam feature missing from dating apps:

- After exchanging contact info, you can "unmatch" from the person, but that person still has the ability to report your profile if you attempt to scam them on WhatsApp or whatever

business_explained · 2023-10-03T16:50:01+00:00

Basically your app but instead of max likes per day, there's a max amount of active chats of 1 per man and unlimited for women. This way the ratio of male to female users is solved and stops a few men from having monopolies

DruidWonder · 2023-10-03T17:45:02+00:00

I don't think anything needs to change. The free market will sort this one out. I've seen apps that create limitations, like preventing people from messaging someone unless the person invites them, or adding additional protections for women. Way fewer people use those apps, they are like dating deserts. And the people on those limited apps are the exact same people you see on all the other apps. So if you pay to use the limited apps in order to find unique quality people, you're wasting your time. Anyone who uses any given app is very likely to be using more than one.

The only thing I think needs to change is to require users to verify their accounts, like by uploading a photo of themselves doing a certain gesture or holding an object. There are way, way too many fake profiles, or faceless profiles. I'm so tired of fake accounts messaging me.

Certain apps require you to pay for premium accounts in order to have unlimited blocks. I think that is wrong. You should be able to freely block anyone for any reason. There are a LOT of creeps.

JumboJetz · 2023-10-04T01:39:10+00:00

OP - I think your suggestions are great but the issue is that other apps won’t have those limitations and so people will flock to those instead.

No-Resource2745 · 2023-10-06T04:28:27+00:00

ID verification, where you have to provide actual screenshots of your ID. Your name can only be what is on your ID, which an option to put a “preferred name” that is different in a separate line from your real name. Have people be able to report when they are meeting up with somebody, as well as the location of the meet-up point. Make it part of the terms and conditions that by using the app, you are consenting to have your information and whatnot shared with police/law enforcement should the need arise.

John_Oakman · 2023-10-03T11:40:48+00:00

Is money is not a concern (aka the funding is from ideological fanatics elsewhere), then have a panel of volunteers manually approving/rejecting male profiles on their profile pics alone. This weeds out the undesirable males* and thus everyone remaining will be better off.

*this the quiet part that's not supposed to be said aloud.

tinasnow-poty · 2023-10-03T12:20:57+00:00

It would limit how many matches you have. No reason to have hundreds of matches built up. You gotta unmatch someone to match with someone new

1:1 ratio of men and women. One has got to delete his account before a new man is let in. Lots of men will be waiting for a while but it’ll stop women getting 10x more likes than the attraction she receives IRL.

I like hinge’s model of only 8 likes per day. People are more intentional when they’ve only got a handful of likes than a free for all. The matches I would get on hinge would result in a convo like 80% of times, whereas on tinder I got more matches but not nearly as many people would message me, I assume because they weren’t that interested in me and I was a powerswipe or whatever

princedune · 2023-10-03T13:11:19+00:00

Use AI to only let people see others in their league, only allow 10 swiper per day, and only allow users to have 5 open chats at once. Also it would be nice to have questions like the old OkCupid had.

This is specifically for long term relationships though, and obviously I know it wouldnt be commercially viable, but it would work good.

Amiskon2 · 2023-10-03T13:54:48+00:00

My idea? You can only date in your percentile of looks. women in the 87th percentile can only date men in the 87th percentile.

You rate people of the opposite sex to give them a rate, but you cannot date them.

If women date higher, maybe it can be adjusted for a few percentiles in difference. You can make more money in the app by making the user extend their range of percentiles they can message.

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-10-03T11:58:27+00:00

The best way to improve online dating is to remove it completely but that won't ever happen.

RonMexico432 · 2023-10-03T14:26:08+00:00

Much like AOL back in the day, there'd be no pictures on profile. You only give them on request when you start talking to someone, so you'd have to put actual effort into your profile to sell yourself.

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2023-10-04T02:23:25+00:00

Congrats you've invented bumble.

If i were in charge of an app it would first only allow verified user. You'd be required to upload at least 3 unfiltered pictures, do phone and facial verification. You would have a limited amount of matches at a time, say 3-5 before you can see any others. If you ghost constantly, send inappropriate messages, advertise or just otherwise show you're just window shopping your account is removed. The app would regularly find events and give discounts to them provided you go with your match.

abaxeron · 2023-10-03T16:44:02+00:00

Hmmm.... "KeepACompany". Encourages and suggests:

Carpooling between drivers and passengers of the opposite sex who are single.

Small talk between willing single fellow travellers in trains, visitors of food chains or museums.

Various other types of "not a date"s.

I mean, I would first tell the government to eat shit and remind that they know exactly how they ruined cohesion between the sexes, and that they pretty much did it deliberately, and they KNOW what they need to do to fix it, but if we're limited to an app, then this is my best take.

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LazySchildpad · 2023-10-03T15:09:33+00:00

A great OLD experience would be one where women and men represent 50/50 of the pool.

I’d simply only allow men to sign up in waves (since they generally outnumber women on platforms) and allow women free sign up.

Most of the issues men complain about in OLD are just because the men outnumber the women by A LOT.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-10-03T15:50:51+00:00

I always thought there could be a better "matching questionnaire" profile type of thing. Like if scientists studied happy couples and determined what are the most important things to have in common, and what don't matter as much.

But it probably can't be done. For instance, I've always thought matching senses of humor would be the golden ticket, but how do you quantify that in order to say which ones match?

AggravatingEar597 · 2023-10-04T00:29:38+00:00

idk the problem is the women on the app not the app itself lol sorry but thats the truth

kamalaophelia · 2023-10-04T08:50:27+00:00

No faces/bodies. 3-5 images that describe the person. A funny meme, aesthetic, hobbies, a small info text, whatever a person considers „that‘s me“. Personal pictures can be traded in the chat. Chats need to be closed when no interest and only 3 can be open at once.

Filter and survey about all the preferences (physical/politics/etc). But not in yes/no but rather „deal breaker / don‘t care / preference“. And if either is in the deal breaker category they aren‘t shown to the other. Clearly lying in preferences and or about yourself etc when you fill out can be reported and lead to a ban. (For example a fat person matches with someone, images are shared, other person reacts with disgust etc. In that case it is clear that the other person must have lied)

It‘d be a pure long term relationship app or for friendship I think.

So entirely impossible to monetize and a horrible business strategy. But I think it‘d be at least fun, lol.

sweetbrown89 · 2023-10-04T12:27:36+00:00

I would make the app designed where people go on dates and they leave honest reviews about the guy / girl they went on a date with - appearance - attractiveness - personality - conversation - etc.

Basically, Yelp for dating

All users would have to verify their age, height, weight, waist size, job, and income bracket

This way, no one can lie in their descriptions and how they act and present themselves will be judged by other people and not themselves

You won’t be able to pump yourself up, which solves the problem for both genders where unattractive people go around thinking their value is higher

KingOnixTheThird · 2023-10-05T17:45:57+00:00

A matchmaking system that both genders have to fill out. You would then be matched with 5 people, and you're only allowed to message those 5 people. If you don't like someone, you can replace them with a new match but you can only do this a couple times per day.

mikehawk1988 · 2023-10-06T01:59:34+00:00

AI or any hard coded algorithm can find similarities in hobbies and just in general. You describe your preferences and BOOM, the algorithm spits out some best-fits.

Technically this has been possible since day 0. In practice, this is not profitable for companies and so they rather make it toxic but profitable.

Case closed.

Title	How would you design an online dating app to make it a good experience for both men and women?
Author	throaway2s1fsfsf4
Upvotes	20
Comments	227
Date	October 3, 2023 11:09 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16yozrf/how_would_you_design_an_online_dating_app_to_make/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-would-you-design-an-online-dating-app-to-make.1233869 https://theredarchive.com/post/1233869

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