Out with a chick, go take a piss or buy a drink/leave her alone for a couple secs, another guy comes over to try and pick her up, this always feels like a lose-lose, is there a winning move? details below

Shibenaut · 2024-05-18T01:01:19+00:00

Same question was posted here like a month ago. Top comment said (paraphrasing):

Act overly interested in what the guy is saying. Ask him to tell you a story about whatever accomplishment he was bragging about. Usually these guys are pretty over-the-top.

While he's telling his outlandish story, the girl and you both can give each other eyes, connect, and have a story to laugh over later. Remember, she's there with you, not him. Make him your free entertainment.

MagicCookiee · 2024-05-17T23:20:02+00:00

Playful re-entry in the set with an observational comment, proximity, freeze out the guy with your body language, continue your chat.

Good game is invisible.

Frequent-Second-500 · 2024-05-18T00:28:00+00:00

Don't go to the bathroom

average_hight_midget · 2024-05-17T23:47:04+00:00

Can go over the top playful with it like a “ahh who’s this? (He says his name). Well I see you’ve met my wife” then put your arm around her and give her a squeeze. Sometimes the guy will know you’re joking but if the girl is receptive and doesn’t pull away then he’ll know he’s out of luck. Sometimes they are gullible though and will believe you, and it can be a bit of fun to role play the husband and wife for a while. If she does pull away when you do it then well you have your answer if she was even into you anyway.

zaxo3000 · 2024-05-18T06:00:07+00:00

Don't overthink this: I just say "thanks for holding my spot, buddy." Then I ignore him by putting myself between him and my date.

If he keeps talking I'll move away with my date to another part of the pub. But I won't talk with him at all after saying my one sentence.

Takes no effort and is simples.

Music7896 · 2024-05-17T23:14:32+00:00

Be a man and get between them.

b_james12 · 2024-05-17T23:28:56+00:00

You just re join, introduce yourself to the dude and let it play out with the three of you at the table/bar/wherever. If you’re “out with a chick” I’m assuming you came together and she likes you since she agreed to go out with you. She’ll entertain the guy for a couple minutes to not be mean, but then she’ll let him know that she’s here with you. The guy will take the hint and then boom back to date night. If you’re calm and non confrontational, you’ll come off looking great.

RapTVCalifornia · 2024-05-18T02:15:04+00:00

I would pretend to pick her up as well as a joke

cemj86 · 2024-05-18T01:14:09+00:00

LMAO Don't care! It happens, I've done it as well. It's not your responsibility on how she handles it. If she leaves, no harm no foul. After all she's not your girl, you're just dating. Even in marriage men will approach your women with or without you there even if your name was tattooed on her face.

jiva_maya · 2024-05-18T00:00:58+00:00

you need a stronger frame my dude

TerminatorReborn · 2024-05-18T00:46:55+00:00

Out with you a chick you mean you scheduled a date beforehand? If that's the case just go ahead and put your arm over her shoulder or kiss her. If she is hesitant you are done for anyway.

Also you talk this is a common occurrence, jesus the guys in your city are just waiting for you to leave to pounce or what?

NumerousImprovements · 2024-05-18T09:05:53+00:00

I’ve done this before. Admittedly with a girlfriend, so I wasn’t worried at all about him being successful, but same energy.

Walked up and asked her “oh is he hitting on you?” Then turning to him “let’s hear what you got” then put him on the spot. He might fuck off, stumble over his words, he might deliver a good line, but you just basically turn to her and ask her what she thought. Like you guys are judging him or toying with him together. Then tell him to enjoy his night and go back to talking to her about whatever you were talking about before.

If she seems positively responsive to it, then it doesn’t matter what you do, she’s not worth continuing your date with. Go do whatever you want. Go home. Go home flirt with someone else.

ForeignIndustry6507 · 2024-05-18T02:17:42+00:00

Tell the man that’s your girl and sock him in the face if he persists.

Nah unless you also play it out and let the girl see if she goes with him or rejects him and then you’ll know if she’s a Keeper or NOT

OR

Continue the conversation like the guy doesn’t exist

LizzoBathwater · 2024-05-18T01:11:53+00:00

Uh how about “hey pal we’re on a date here, take a hike”

Equal_Actuary_5614 · 2024-05-18T02:30:24+00:00

2 choices:

1) You try to get her back, which is completely her discretion bc she's not your girlfriend or anything so she doesn't owe exclusivity to you.

2) The fact that she's interested in that guy means she prefers him and she doesn't give a damn if you notice or not. So have respect for yourself and walk away. Maybe she will approach you later or not. Don't be needy, go do the same thing and talk to another girl.

Anonimos66 · 2024-05-18T09:22:07+00:00

Wait so, you’re with a girl on a date, you leave for lets say a piss, when you come back another guy is picking her up, and you’re afraid to get back in?

I never had this honestly, but I would probably (intuitively) do this: Walk back to them confidently, notice she is talking to an old friend she happend to walk in to (just the mindset you want to engage from, if you act like he’s a danger you WILL lose your frame), introduce yourself to him and and ask where he knows ‘name’ from. Have some small chit chat and then ask very politely if he would mind catching up with her later as you’re on a date and would like to spend some quality time with ‘name’.

He’s likely going to say they aren’t familiar, in which case you pull the same line as well but without the catching up later, just start with the ‘if you don’t mind, we’re on a date and would like to spend quality time’.

There’s no way he could politely say no to that, and he’s out.

Whole_Reserve1567 · 2024-05-18T00:27:05+00:00

No matter how confident you are , how you get between them , etc if he's better than you , she will pick him .

With that being said what I'd do is to just piss off if she's entertaining him since she obviously does think he's better than me. I'd either go approach other girls , or simply go home , I'd obviously not block her or whatsoever I'd just never talk to her again

Tovo34 · 2024-05-18T04:38:48+00:00

Ignore him - take her by the hand and lead her away. If she doesn't follow you leave her there, if she does follow you make it clear you're on a date and you expect her to be flirting with only you. If she calls you controlling you leave, she's gonna be drama and pushing lines later.

Overall it's better to be strong than weak. It's a shit test to see if you'll stand up for your boundaries.

basilyoga · 2024-05-17T23:32:52+00:00

Happened to me yesterday. My guy left to take a piss, the chef of the restaurant immediately swoops in, asks me about the food, kisses my hand, asks me my name, etc. i tend to giggle profusely because I can’t imagine another man taking my attention away from what I already have tbh. he came back all smiles because he just knows…. He dapped him up, went, “She’s gorgeous, right?” Chef agreed, told him to, “Take care of that beautiful piece and treat her right, nothing less.” He grabbed my hand to help me up out of there booth and we left. No man has ever taken offense.

BecomingABetterMan1 · 2024-05-18T00:19:26+00:00

*puts arm around date*, looks at dude

"It was nice meeting you"

MajesticFerret36 · 2024-05-18T03:37:47+00:00

There is no real cheat code to this. If you want the girl back, you have to man up and interject. Most guys will back off. Some won't. You have to calibrate accordingly based on that.

Honestly, whether or not I interject would be based in various factors, like how much I actually like the girl, how well the set was going, and if the dude looks like he would be willing to throw down.

Kagenikakushiteru · 2024-05-18T10:52:17+00:00

Go out with a chick and she’s ready to ditch you to hang with another guy? Time to find another chick.

People try that with chicks I bring out all the time especially aggro gym guys from the west. I always smile at the chick and see what they do. Chicks always shut the guy down when I’m back. I then say all good can drink together and they say nahhhh.

Oh and no I do t talk to random povo guys

throwaway-research1 · 2024-05-18T11:34:32+00:00

I move on to the next one, there are plenty of women out there. It has happened with me many times that I entered the club with one girl and left with another

heronyguy · 2024-05-18T12:37:45+00:00

“Dear Reddit, this weird guy always brings these hot girls to the bar, then he goes to the bathroom for 5 minutes after every beer, and his girl ends up chatting with me. When he comes out, he just stands there and occasionally checks his phone as if looking at internet posts. Once he even left suddenly. I don’t know what to do? I can tell he’s uncomfortable but it’s so awkward. I’m just waiting for him to come back up and say hi and save me from the convo with his girl.”

Popular_Koala9653 · 2024-05-18T02:18:59+00:00

what stops you from actually walking out of such an insulting situation. If she's out with you and she doesnt tell the guy that chats her up at the bar "im here with my bf/partner/someone " and if the moment you show up, she doesnt say something like "babe, where were you" and excuse herself from the situation, then take the L and walk away.

Anything less than that is a shit-test, and you should punish her for this by walking away. Why?

Well:

If you are the one to take action and say: "Hey, thats my girl" - then you're being clingy and somewhat suggesting that she is the prize
If you ignore her, well the guy would think you are just friends or a weak man.
So when you meet them chatting, give it a few seconds, and if she doesnt indicate to the guy that she's with you, then you walk away. You will naturally be pissed but then the longer you are there, the more humiliating/awkward it could be.

Show Strength and walk away.

Life_Lengthiness_638 · 2024-05-18T03:47:19+00:00

Assert dominance and cave his face in.

johnnyA99 · 2024-05-18T08:11:17+00:00

Grab the nearest steak knife and tell that fuck face you're from New Jersey

Lunabell1187 · 2024-05-18T12:30:03+00:00

You interject without a single hesitation but in a very friendly way. Introduce yourself and some casual convo like everyone is friends just hanging out. At the end of the day, everyone is just hanging out having a good time, right? That’s the mindset. Not competition and conquest.

BravoPUA · 2024-05-18T13:37:15+00:00

What would you do if it was your GF or wife, just ignore her?

No you go back in like you belong, ask the guy who he is, say excuse me as you get back to your spot, and either talk to him a little or let him know it was nice to meet him but you are back to talk to your date.

He prob saw you leave and shit in. He’s low value. Don’t give him any respect.

If your date is into you, you have nothing to worry about. If she’d rather be with him. Let her. But you have to not take it like a B otherwise you deserve to lose her.

tjlightbulb · 2024-05-18T19:22:20+00:00

Interjecting does not make you a pussy or insecure. It’s standing up for yourself. Knowing WHEN to do it is key. Dude puts his arm around her- yes stand up for yourself. Having a random convo about sports or something casual? Who cares? Giving space and trusting that you have that girl is the most confident thing you can do in that situation.

OriginalMandem · 2024-05-18T19:52:15+00:00

I just introduce myself, shake their hand. If they look like a dickhead I'll call them out with something like "oh, hey, how do you know Mydatedgirl?" - because if they literally just walked up to hit on her they normally start to lose their confidence at that point. Basically just dominate the interaction whilst being very pleasant and friendly. TBH it's not just on dates, I have a lot of attractive female friends and even if we're just out for a social drink they tend to attract freewheeling douchebags like wasps round an overripe apple.

drunkenWINO · 2024-05-18T15:24:12+00:00

I prefer to use the, "Are you hitting on my sister?". And then follow with a, "if you buy me a drink I'll leave you alone for a bit."

And then leave her alone for a few min. Then come back and start talking to him "did you two get along well?" While making eyes at her. Have fun with it.

PuzzleheadedYak1601 · 2024-05-18T03:34:35+00:00

Asking for prescriptions from this community or reading books never works. There are many variables in the dating environment. Where you are at on the good looking scale, how tight and experience you are with game, how optimized your are socially, and how you are perceived in a public space (like your lifestyle), etc.

The only way to optimize where you are at, what you need to improve on is to put in the rejection work yourself. That’s the only way you will figure out how different woman operate. Woman will run circles around men when it comes to game, especially if she is good looking. She has “experience” on men giving her attention since she started noticing it as a kid.

Don’t listen to any gurus, it’s just plain hard ass work. It’s much easier if you are preselected with fame or good looks. Game doesn’t need to be as tight if you are preselected. I didn’t say money but money can help however, there are guys with money that use it as a crutch to real game and social calibration. They make the thing woman love in seduction into transactional one and get finessed by them. While these guys with money feed them a lifestyle, I get to sleep with them with real seduction.

If you had the experience, you would recognize if she gave you IOI’s. If she did give you IOI’s prior to running to the bathroom or buying drinks. Your probability of achieving your seduction goal is good.

Are you socially creepy? Do you need to work on the looks and body? Do you need to improve your network of people you go out with? Do you need a style of clothing. What type of person are you looking for? What type of person to watch out for? These are all things you need to answer yourself by putting in the work yourself. If you can’t do it or it’s to hard, then keep thinking it’s a lose lose proposition. Good luck in life.

It’s even harder to compete in the dating market today than 30 years ago. You need to adapt because the pendulum is not going back to the 1950’s. Woman don’t need guys to take care of them or provide for them as much. They become the guy they want to be with. What are guys good for then? They want the hot guy that gives them the tingles. I see nothing wrong with that.

Videogamesarereel · 2024-05-18T05:34:59+00:00

I've linked this before but pretty much this

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-05-18T05:37:14+00:00

Men run when they see me. That adds to the attraction she has for me.

claude_father · 2024-05-18T06:32:38+00:00

Dawg you are drastically overthinking this one

Dandys3107 · 2024-05-18T07:37:50+00:00

I guess simply announce that you have returned. If she can so easily jump to different option you should let her, maybe she doesn't like you that much or she is just a troublemaker.

luotenrati12 · 2024-05-18T11:00:20+00:00

I run a compliance test in such situations. See her with a guy at the smoking area, walk by her again and just tell her "I'm going to the bar" in a tone that says "we're going to the bar". After I tell her that I just head straight off without looking back but walking as if I expect compliance from her naturally. This sort of command is hard to resist for a girl because of the position of the frame it's coming from. It communicates that she can talk with other guys but that she follows your lead. It also puts her on the spot and forces her to choose. If she takes your lead, she will have to excuse herself to the guy and go to you.

I had such a situation last night and some guy was constantly trying to snatch away the girl I was talking with but I noticed that if I show dominant body language and talk with authority that I can command her to do whatever pretty much.

It is of course a slippery slope still and the best thing you can do is show that you don't care. This is kind of the reverse of when someone comes into your set and tries to steal it. Walking away is a good step there to create an emotional vacuum. Here you have to "walk past" and create an excuse to change venue with her. You want to isolate her from the guy anyway so you don't have to spent too much time with him.

If you have friends in the club you can use that strategically to merge a set, introduce her and him to a friend of yours, let the friend talk to the obstacle, isolate the girl. It's a different question if you're solo of course.

TLDR: Find a reason to change venue with her. Lead her in front of the guy.

jjboy91 · 2024-05-18T13:28:36+00:00

Just give her a kiss on the cheek and it's done

MrAnonPoster · 2024-05-18T14:39:32+00:00

Yeah, dont be utterly replaceable by any guy who walks up to her while you are taking a piss

godofgainz · 2024-05-18T14:45:08+00:00

I usually say, “It’s this your little brother? Nice to meet you. Excuse us.” And just sit down And go about my day.

soulshock22 · 2024-05-18T17:05:23+00:00

Go up to the both of them with all smiles. "Hi, how are ya. Sorry to interrupt, I'm just going to steal her away for a moment." Take her by the arm and lead her away. "

OnlinePosterPerson · 2024-05-18T19:10:20+00:00

What I’ve always done is go talk to another girl in her immediate vicinity or eyesight. If she’s not genuinely receptive you can even throw in a “hey that guys talking to my girl can you help me make her jealous and pretend we’re having a great conversation.” (People love being brought into fun little games like that.) Basically shows that you’re not jealous or a pussy like you’re worried about. It’s cool for you to talk to this guy lady and I can do it to. Usually the girl will break it off with the other guy before you’re taken by this other girl. Fomo

dromance · 2024-05-18T19:23:58+00:00

Notice that everything you are saying is about worrying how you’ll appear or come off. If you have a problem with something, speak up. It’s that simple. If you are too afraid to express yourself because you are so insecure that you will appear “weak” then that is a problem. Perhaps that’s the real issue here and the reason your girl doesn’t respect you enough to ignore and not give any of these guys the time of day even when you aren’t around

dromance · 2024-05-18T19:27:09+00:00

Why does it seem so easy or common for dudes to come and steal your girl in one second while your in the bathroom/away, but it takes forever to get the same girl. Have you ever been turned down by a girl? I’m sure you have. So why can’t your girl do the same to these randoms? If some random dude can come in and grab your girls attention that quickly then the issue is probably your girl or the quality of girls you are obtaining.

Ok-Abbreviations9212 · 2024-05-18T19:41:42+00:00

Women aren't objects, but relationships ARE generally between two people. A 3rd person who's trying to enter into that relationship with her isn't "stealing" anything, but they certainly are an interloper. Don't let language interfere with what's very real, and part of human beings interactions for essentially forever.

They aren't your friend, but they are your competition.

Geep1778 · 2024-05-18T20:48:03+00:00

That’s an easy fix my man. Calmly walk over to her smile at him and extend your hand to her and say thank you for entertaining my wife and walk off. If that doesn’t work you didn’t do it w the right attitude

ThrowRA91010101323 · 2024-05-18T22:12:26+00:00

Interject smoothly, introduce yourself to the guy. “Hey nice to meet you” in the most relaxed happy way possible. Shake his hand. Observe his reaction, he will very likely feel awkward.

If he says something to put you down, put him down immediately with a sarcastic comment, or just bully him.

Continue convo with girl

Organic_Pack1211 · 2024-05-19T00:10:33+00:00

Make a joke about it and continue as nothing happened. Shows her you’re not controlling and odds are it happens a lot but she’s on a date with you so focus on that - coming from someone who has overreacted before

Atriev · 2024-05-19T02:28:16+00:00

Leave with the girl first, then use the restroom. Or you can suggest that you both use the restroom. She will usually have a line and you don’t need to line up.

Or you can tell her to hold your drink as you go pee. Better finish quickly and come back out.

rjones416 · 2024-05-19T07:54:00+00:00

This hasn't happened to me before but I would just continue the date as I was before I went to the washroom. If the woman has any respect for you she will politely let the guy know she's with you and end their conversation.

Wouldn't you do the same if a woman came up to you while your date went to the washroom? It's basic social skills. No need to come up with a witty line or get confrontational.

RedditZeitgeistBot · 2024-05-26T16:22:55+00:00

https://jackwatchman.substack.com/p/youre-the-problem-in-the-equation OP your post was so epic someone made a whole ass article about it

JustSomeRandomGuy36 · 2024-05-18T03:48:57+00:00

Just fucking give up

Dynamix86 · 2024-05-18T07:33:02+00:00

Just approach her very chill and in a funny way be like “hey, are you cheating on my already! I thought our marriage meant something to you”. Then when in conversation with the other guy there your vocal projection needs to be louder than his, there should be no signs of neediness from your side and play it smart and make the guy qualify himself to the girl which will make him seem lower value. Also, once or twice pretend like you didn’t hear him. People are less attuned to people with low social status

SaaSWriters · 2024-05-17T23:34:27+00:00

what's the play here?

Walk away.

bannedcanceled · 2024-05-17T23:27:42+00:00

Depends on the venue, if im at a bar sitting down and some dude is talking to my chick i will take my seat back out pull my phone out and stare at it with a tough look on my face until he fucks off, most likely your girl will touch your arm or something when you sit back down.

If its a busy venue/club, it depends on the girl, sometimes your date is just trying to make you jealous so if i feel thats the case then i grab a drink at the bar and stand at the bar til she comes back.

If thats not the case then i bring her a drink and stand there with a tough look on my face until he fucks off and if he wants to fight i just keep staring at them they ussually fuck off no fight but thats just what works for me

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