It takes time for a person to find a sense of style that suits them. They have to try out clothes that may not flatter them. They have to try different haircuts that may not suit their face. They have to try different ways of applying makeup and/or different ways of contouring their facial hair. When a person has a very well-put-together look, it's only natural to appreciate it. And it's natural to prefer someone who has put in this effort over someone who hasn't.

Building up muscle and being physically active takes time and effort. People who pursue it have to hit the gym consistently for years while increasing the weight and difficultly for the exercises in turn. They have to watch what they eat so you can have enough protein to build muscle and maintain it while shedding the fat. They have to do the right exercises in the right amounts to build up their muscle proportions to be the way they want. When a person has a good amount of muscle, it's only natural to appreciate it. And it's natural to prefer someone who has put in this effort over someone who hasn't.

Charisma and confidence aren't natural gifts. People don't come out of the womb able to hold a conversation. It takes time to learn how to make small talk with a variety of people and make them like you. A person who wants to have charisma will have to experience a lot of rejection of the way to developing it. It takes them time to build a circle of friends who they can rely on and feel connected with. When a person is able to seemingly effortlessly hold a conversation with a stranger, it's only natural to appreciate it. And it's natural to prefer someone who has put in this effort over someone who hasn't.

People like effort and people prefer partners who put effort into cultivating themselves. And it's natural that a person who has put a lot of time into improving themself would not want a partner who hasn't made similar efforts. This is gender neutral and should be common sense. And since so many men don't bother to do anything to actually improve themselves, it's only natural that women (who by and large put way more effort into improving themselves) seek the men who do.