Women, in your experience how long do men usually last in bed?

SnooCats37 · 2025-06-08T15:37:48+00:00

It depends. Sometimes minutes, sometimes seconds, sometimes a lot longer. Depends on how long it’s been since we last did it, how excited he is, what kind of sex we are having, how much time we have

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-06-08T15:42:08+00:00

In my experience it’s highly variable, even with the same guy. Mind you, I don’t have anywhere near a high enough “n count” to give any sort of reliable “sample size” here. But I’d say anything from a couple minutes to half an hour is normal.

As for if it matters, yes and no. Most women are pretty understanding that sometimes, men just finish quicker. Especially younger, less experienced guys. But it becomes a problem when you’re not spending enough time on the entire sexual experience including foreplay and other sexual activities that give her pleasure.

Most guys make the mistake of jumping too quickly to PIV anyway, which most women can’t orgasm from alone, even if he lasts a long time. Jumping straight into jackhammering for an hour isn’t going to mean better sex for her, just pain. Imo 10 minutes of PIV is usually plenty, but if the entire sexual experience only lasts 10 mins, she’s gonna be disappointed (unless you’re an established couple and just want to have a quickie).

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-06-08T15:37:32+00:00

I run in the kink community, where guys either 1. Last a decently long time (30+ minutes-1hr), or 2. Last 5 minutes or less and are honest about that, but also do a lot of foreplay (usually the younger guys). I've only twice had guys who lasted less than 2 minutes, and both of them let me know about that ahead of time so we could prepare for sex being much more than PIV.

Lysa_Bell · 2025-06-08T16:05:05+00:00

Between 3 seconds to 3 hours. Depends on the guy and multiple different factors. When was the last time he ejaculated? Is he nervous? Is he very aroused? Does he have ED? PE? Is he taking steroids? Does he have stress? A loooot of different variables can influence the length of time a guy is able to purely penetrate. Sometimes they don't even know that themselves. You get all hot and bothered and they suddenly comes upon entering.

Same thing with women. Different women have a different time with orgasm. Some women can come without clit stimulation, some need lots of foreplay, some need only their nipples touched for an orgasm, some take a long time to orgasm because of stress/pressure/uncomfortable smells/environment etc, some come quick because they are in a certain hormonal window of their cycle and so on and so on.

There is way too much different stuff going on from human to human. That's why you have to take your time with each partner you have and you have to get to know them and their body. Which will also tell you if you are compatible with each other sexually.

Lazy_DreadHead · 2025-06-08T15:26:42+00:00

Whew. As far as being directly inside me not including foreplay and head… most men last about 3-5 minutes on average…. which sucks for a woman with a high sex drive. There was also one guy who put it in, did a half stroke and came. There’s only three guys that’s lasted a decent amount which was about 15 minutes.

CanaryHeart · 2025-06-08T18:41:56+00:00

I have no issue with a guy finishing in three or four ‘pumps’ as long as there’s plenty of foreplay—it can be really hot to have someone so worked up that they lose it almost immediately!

I do NOT want a partner actually thrusting in and out of me for 20-30 minutes, though I imagine this is a personal preference that varies quite a bit.

cs342 · 2025-06-08T21:52:23+00:00

Under 2 minutes is rare. It’s only happened a few times in my 10 years of being sexually active. I find it flattering and kind of a turn on even though the guy is usually embarrassed. I’d take 2 min over 20+ minutes any day tbh.

Traditional_Lab1192 · 2025-06-09T21:01:45+00:00

It ranges. I had a guy stick the tip in and cum instantly. I had another guy last about an hour. Typically its around the 20-30 minute range

AutoModerator · 2025-06-08T14:57:19+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

flipsidetroll · 2025-06-08T17:00:15+00:00

One lasted 15 to 20 mins. The other could go for hours, taking short breaks in between. He said he trained himself to do that.

2025-06-08T19:25:11+00:00

I think I've always been lucky as its usually 30 mins with some outliers.

S0yslut · 2025-06-08T19:36:03+00:00

Depends, usually the first couple times they cum immediately (less than one minute) or if we had to go without sex for 3+ days. After the initial excitement, or if the frequency increases they last a bit longer. As men age they take longer. Occasionally when it’s quick we just cuddle until we have sex again and they last long the second time but my concept of time is bad so idk. 20 minutes how long it would take for both of us to cum.. I have looked at the clock before and after enough to know that.

Present-Interest-975 · 2025-06-09T07:11:04+00:00

In my limited experience, it is honestly really variable even with the same guy. For me personally, when someone finishes in under 2 minutes isn't a problem - I can't orgasm from PIV, so if it goes on too long it just starts to get uncomfortable. I'd favour a long time spent on foreplay and then a short time on the act itself.

Sillysheila · 2025-06-09T08:57:26+00:00

I mean it’s very varied, even with just with one man. My partner can do 15-20 mins if he wants which is a bit above average, sometimes it’s been longer cuz of meds. Sometimes it’s been 5-10 or even 2. It really depends on the day.

Hjelmert · 2025-06-10T09:37:41+00:00

5-10 minutes is the norm for us, with around 20 minutes of foreplay. I get sore if it lasts much longer than that so i'm happy with it.

Bewiz_Lisa · 2025-06-08T15:08:15+00:00

Well, I'm probably not the best person to be answering here, as my "BC" (lol!) isn't anywhere near high enough to be a statistically significant sample of the adult male population...not to mention that my answer is probably not even remotely helpful, as in my experience, not only does it vary wildly from guy to guy, but it can vary wildly FOR the same guy. Like, today can be 3 mins, next week can be 30 mins, it's just soooo situational!....certainly some men have been overall on the shorter end, duration-wise, and some on the longer. So, I'm all like "maybe I can be more helpful if I think about my CURRENT guy" but, nope. Like, the other night, it had been 2 weeks since we'd had any sex at all (life!!!! don't ask) and I was wearing lingerie and an enthusiastic blowjob (though not to completion) was part of the foreplay, and yeah, it was 30 seconds of ecstasy there and done, lol. BUT the time before THAT we'd had sex the previous two nights (and I suspect some solo activity might've taken place at some point in the interim as well) and not only was he good for like 20 mins, I'm pretty sure he could've been good for longer had I not indicated that you know, friction is a thing where there can be too much of it after a while 🤣.

TL;DR Clearly my opinion is worthless here as a gauge of men in general!

ashpr0ulx · 2025-06-08T16:14:47+00:00

it really depends. i would say an average of 15-20 minutes. but i don’t care if they cum faster sometimes. i’m hot and i’m good at it

kalashhhhhhhh · 2025-06-08T15:17:32+00:00

My ex always finished in under 3 minutes.

leosandlattes · 2025-06-08T16:00:57+00:00

I have a sample size of 2 so lol. But like 10 minutes? But If we’ve gone a long time without sex, it’s much shorter. As short as like 3 minutes on some occasions.

CatallaxyRanch · 2025-06-08T16:02:01+00:00

5-10 minutes usually, which to me is plenty.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-06-08T16:40:58+00:00

I would say that very few guys cum after 3-4 pumps, well anything measured in pumps. I would say that in general PIV lasted about 10 min. Some could definitely do it longer or do it multiple times. There were also couple of guys who came in 2-3 min. Those gave me the vibes of not caring about sex at all, like the point is to cum, and as quickly as possible, because everything else is boring.

Werevulvi · 2025-06-08T20:04:50+00:00

Well, I've been with guys who lasted for literally hours, and guys who only lasted 5 pumps, but I'd say on average it's been probably around 5-10 minutes, and yeah imo that is too quick, as it usually takes 20-30 minutes for me. Age, experience, and any potential ED (whether temporary or long term issue) does have a lot to do with it, I think.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-06-09T04:48:51+00:00

How long is a piece of string?

Different partners are different, also different situations are different. My husband for instance doesn’t not last the same anoint e sry time

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-06-09T04:51:48+00:00

Also a short time doesn’t matter to me if the for post was good

bjwindow2thesoul · 2025-06-09T07:31:23+00:00

I prefer relationships and most of my ons have been where the guy was drunk so that does make it harder to come. In relationships it has varied on how long since we last slept together, and can last anywhere from 30 sec to 20 minutes/when I say i cant go anymore. And also, if we try a new position or something my boyfriend has sometimes only lasted a few pumps 😂

EulenWatcher · 2025-06-08T15:55:58+00:00

My great sample size of 1 man tells me that it can vary even for the same guy. The average is probably around 15-20 minutes? It can go longer if we want to play a bit more up to an hour for one session, but it also can be shorter if we're in a hurry.

Title	Women, in your experience how long do men usually last in bed?
Author	cs342
Upvotes	19
Comments	130
Date	June 8, 2025 2:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1l6e4dd/women_in_your_experience_how_long_do_men_usually/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-in-your-experience-how-long-do-men-usually.1554255 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554255

Comments