Do you know what makes a good gf /wife?

ashpr0ulx · 2025-10-09T09:49:41+00:00

what makes a good wife will vary from man to man. there are some basic generalities, sure, but a good wife to one may not be to another.

i know how to be a good wife to my partner, but maybe not to another man.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2025-10-09T11:47:44+00:00

Being compatible. "Men" don't universally want anything. Each person is different and needs different things.

syarkbait · 2025-10-09T10:23:49+00:00

What’s good to one is not good for the other. It’s all subjective. Sometimes, some people bring out the best and the worst in us. I think my friend’s husband is great to her because he’s responsible, sweet and harmless and she likes that. From what I know, he’s not really my type because then he’s too vanilla and boring. So honestly, it’s really, really subjective.

Lysa_Bell · 2025-10-09T10:36:07+00:00

I'm a good wife to my husband. I would be a terrible wife to someone else. There are some attributes that make a good partner in general but thats gender neutral.

EulenWatcher · 2025-10-09T12:03:50+00:00

The stereotype is that it’s not hard to please a guy: sex, food, don’t nag and presently leave him be.

I don’t fully agree with it. A lot of men do need emotional support and quality time. At least if they do see their partner as an LTR partner and not just casual lay or a bang maid.

My partner values emotional connection, so I can fuck his brains out, but if I’m not up to our usual long talks, he’ll feel neglected anyway. He tends to vent more than I do, and he likes taking through his worries/stress. He also has much higher cleanliness standard than I do, so I have to account for that, and I think it’s pretty unusual for men. It’s not that I have to do all the cleaning - but I have to more mindful about things I just don’t notice myself. He’s not great with doctors’ appointments and remembering to take meds if he needs any, so I take care of that too. We’ve gone through some stressful shit, and we’ve gone through it together - he knows he can rely on me.

So, in our case, it’s generally doing my part of the job so he wouldn’t have to do everything conspiring finance or chores, food, sex, emotional support and connection, accounting for his cleanliness standards, communication.

alreadydark · 2025-10-09T12:26:21+00:00

Honesty, putting effort into communication, and consideration of their feelings/needs. Respecting your partner but also respecting yourself enough to know when boundaries are being crossed and not being afraid of having tough conversations

sablesalsa · 2025-10-09T09:14:42+00:00

Well, I'm not perfect, but I'd like to think I do. Supporting your partner, being able to work together and compromise, honesty, clear communication, trustworthiness, the ability to apologize and admit you were wrong.

I feel like this isn't the answer you were looking for, though. What do you think the qualities of a good partner are?

Lemon_gecko · 2025-10-09T09:11:55+00:00

Do i know what makes me a good girlfriend? Yes. Is this something most men would like? No. But i’m not here to cater to most men, i want to find a man who’ll like what i can offer.

I also know what most men will like, and i have my opinion about it.

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2025-10-09T11:31:31+00:00

I think the same things that make a good bf.

Time, energy, effort , compromise, sacrifice dedicated to making the other persons life easier/better.

Affection Love Respect Loyalty Someone looking out for u and who has ur back and helps u.

Then regular friend attributes as well Kindness Active listening skills Conversation partner Friendliness Companionship

Also cross each other's look threshold.

CreepyVictorianDolls · 2025-10-09T09:38:10+00:00

What makes me a "good gf"? I don't know, but I'm not here to cater to most men. If a man likes me for what I am - then I am a "good gf" to him.

Stay a good person, respect your partner, be compatible.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2025-10-09T10:03:07+00:00

I am firmly of the belief that compatibility matters, so other than generally being a good person, every type of person is going to be good for someone.

That said, if a guy is turned off or uninterested by my accomplishments and just wants a bangmaid, I wouldn’t find him interesting.

half_avocado33 · 2025-10-09T12:00:06+00:00

I am not interested in "men", i am only interested in one man. And what makes a good gf/wife to one man doesn't apply to a different man.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2025-10-09T09:02:27+00:00

I don't believe in being a good gf or wife.

I believe in being a good partner, gender neutral.

If a man wants a woman who adheres to gender roles then they know where the door is.

anna_alabama · 2025-10-09T11:27:36+00:00

It varies depending on the person. My husband would say that I’m the best wife ever, but I know that a lot of other guys wouldn’t say that.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-10-09T11:47:49+00:00

what mad me a good wife to my husband is that because we are so compatible I am patient, kind, loving, supportive and generous to him. what made me a bad gf for my ex fiance is that our incompatibilities made me not bethose things over time

ThatBitchA · 2025-10-09T13:47:50+00:00

Being ambitious, having a good career, and being funny.

If a man laughed at that, I'd break up with him. He clearly doesn't make a good bf/husband.

2025-10-09T12:17:08+00:00

What makes a great gf is clearly varied from man to man. I’m a terrible girlfriend (unwilling to compromise, flakey, not into sitting at home, not willing to go out of my comfort zone for his sake) but the guys I’ve dated have not thought so apparently, so clearly there’s something in it for them that I’m not seeing. What do you think makes a great girlfriend? I’m assuming same things as what makes men good boyfriends: supportive, kind, good company to laugh with, etc etc.

MoreCheesePlease8675 · 2025-10-09T14:10:29+00:00

This is what we call a loaded question and there is a bullet in every chamber designed to blow my brains out...

Doesn't matter what the answer is because it's automatically wrong....

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cb8585b · 2025-10-09T12:06:45+00:00

Depends on what makes individual people compatible. Me and my bf have a solid friendship. Similar interests to share, similar sense of humour. Being understanding of his life commitments (extremely busy job), value time together, encourage time apart. Open communication. Being supportive of each other, anticipating his needs and vice versa so we can contribute to making each others lives easier.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2025-10-09T14:42:20+00:00

It depends on the person now doesn't it? My partner absolutely wouldn't seriously date a woman whose primary aspiration was stay at home mother. So I am a good match. But for a man who wants a 1950s marriage an aspiring SAHM would be perfect. So you need to align with future goals and lifestyles. That's step 1. If you don't do this it makes everything harder.

Then there are the overall things; how you deal with conflict, are you considerate of things that are important to your partner, etc.

It's not that people don't care but it's that there isn't just one person out there you're compatible with and if someone doesn't want to be with you, someone else will if you want to seriously put effort into finding a partner. It's not a spoiled for choice thing so much as billions of people on earth thing.

ConstanceVigilante · 2025-10-09T15:02:11+00:00

I asked her what makes her a great gf she said- she is ambitious, has a good career and is 'funny'

Sounds fine to me. Maybe it wasn't what that specific man wanted. Some men would consider these qualities extremely desirable in a partner. Others wouldn't care or would consider them negatives.

It seems as though people on here seem to not only think that women are a monolith, but also that men are a monolith.

I also just straight up don't understand the whole "women's careers don't matter" perspective from Red Pillers specifically. Aren't you guys always complaining about "beta buxxing"? Being with an independent career woman is basically guaranteed to avoid that - if she doesn't need you to provide for her financially, she's definitely with you because she actually desires you.

uglysaladisugly · 2025-10-09T15:07:25+00:00

No I don't, because different men will consider different things as characteristic of a "good gf/wife".

chalkandapples · 2025-10-09T15:42:31+00:00

Very dependent on the man. I would be a good gf/wife to someone and be totally repulsive to someone else. Just like how I like certain qualities and don't like others in men. Dating is pretty much just an exercise to find someone that likes the specific qualities in you and vice versa.

I did not date for a long time because I didn't think I would make a good gf to anyone though. Because I was very self centered and wasn't mentally ready to truly care about another person consistently. So universally I think you have to be able to at least be able to care about and be considerate of another person in a continuous manner (can't just mentally drop them when you're busy or overwhelmed) before being a good partner in general.

Werevulvi · 2025-10-09T16:16:07+00:00

I think most men just want a woman who takes care of herself (like showers and isn't obese, at bare minimum), is healthy, doesn't argue or nag all the time, wants to have sex at least somewhat frequently, respects his feelings and boundaries, lets him hang out with his guy friends, and isn't being a hypocrite about gender roles.

At least that's kinda my interpretation, as a general sum up. Then of course different men are gonna have different preferences in addition, but I think this covers the basis of what majority of men would consider a good gf/wife.

Confident_Counter471 · 2025-10-09T17:01:15+00:00

Idk but my husband tells me everyday I’m an amazing wife and that he’s lucky to have me. So I’m doing something right

refrigerator-number · 2025-10-09T11:26:35+00:00

I know who would make for a generally good partner. Doesn't mean that all or even most men like that.

attendquoi · 2025-10-09T14:38:51+00:00

It'll depend on the man. For example, my husband would expect whatever woman he's with to have a good career because he does not want to be a sole provider.

AngeAware · 2025-10-09T14:41:04+00:00

It seems that the idea of a good wife can vary greatly from man to man. My fiancé prayed to God that his wife would also be his best friend. I know that plenty of men don't really think of their wives/GFs like that.

That said, I'm a Catholic from the South, so I also have many deeply ingrained ideas of what my role as a wife will be from that. Some on the more conservative side, some are perhaps more widely applicable. There are so many I won't list them all here, just the first few that come to mind.

It may sound silly but the day I cooked for him for the first time was one of the best days of my life. Watching him enjoy something I made is wonderful.

To give comfort, to only deny it under rare and dire circumstances. My will to deliver in that area was part of the reason I realized I was called to marriage instead of the convent.

To be a caring and attentive mother to his children.

To be courteous and charitable to his loved ones.

To communicate clearly and constructively, without dramatic outbursts of anger.

Simply not neglecting to remind him he is appreciated and loved, and all the reasons I feel that way.

Inevitable-Bite8660 · 2025-10-11T05:01:06+00:00

Tbh, I’m that thick girl who’s always nagging my boyfriend and spanking his butt. But since he seems to love it, I guess it’s all good lol.

P1anth0 · 2025-10-09T11:46:23+00:00

I follow guidance from the Bible since it lays out duties of wives there. However I also stay home so I do the cooking, cleaning, gardening, laundry, grocery shopping, if his pants rip or the button falls off I sew them, when he wakes up for work I also wake up and make breakfast and pack his lunch just stuff to make his life at home easier/more pleasant. I’m having his kids and I’ll be staying home with them and raising them preparing them for school.

Title	Do you know what makes a good gf /wife?
Author	ReasonConfident4541
Upvotes	0
Comments	76
Date	October 9, 2025 8:56 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1o20wey/do_you_know_what_makes_a_good_gf_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-know-what-makes-a-good-gf-wife.1563732 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563732

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